I once had a client come to see me for my last booking of the day, 11pm. When he arrived I asked if he wanted a shower, he said no, he'd had one this morning. Now he was VERY big lad, one of the largest clients I've ever seen and he had just told me he'd finished a ten hour shift at Burger King.

So this obese guy who's spent a long day in front of deep fat fryers is telling me he showered this morning so he doesn't need one now? I insisted, and he rolled his eyes and said 'fine, but just a quick one'.

This is what we are dealing with. The main problem is there is no shame or common sense that this will not be acceptible to most people.

If they have a whiffy armpit I have a handy Lynx to spray under their arms.

On occasions a guy has stated 'I am clean as I had a bath last night'.  WTF!

Most arrive nice and clean and fresh so can't complain on the whole.

.

Then there's the type with no empathy, who get off on making us & their partners feel degraded.

I don't really give them the option. An assertive but seductive, I'll show you where the shower room is, I've got it all ready for you, temperature is just right, whilst pointing to the "fresh clean towel".

The ones who say I had a bath/shower last night, I mirror those & say yeah me too & watch their face drop, & they usually realise.

I have a client who has that fish odour syndrome I think. He's one of my favourties personality wise but the smell    So hard not to wretch sometimes.

Excellent response to them! Love that one! 

If they have a whiffy armpit I have a handy Lynx to spray under their arms.

God honestly I'd rather smell sweat than the stench of Lynx which has been sprayed over their whole torso, so when I go to suck their nipples my lips contract like i've just sucked on a lemon.

God honestly I'd rather smell sweat than the stench of Lynx which has been sprayed over their whole torso, so when I go to suck their nipples my lips contract like i've just sucked on a lemon.

I have driven home stinking of Lynx etc so many times, i find it really off-putting now.
The heavy aftershave, you can't get rid with a hot shower unless you scrub your hair and scalp every day.

I know i could just ask them not to wear anything, but i have so many other rules, regulations and clauses that it seems churlish to include..🤔

Good job i don't have a partner, that would be so uncool.. :

Argh am ragin! I’ve just chucked out ANOTHER client for refusing a shower!

I’m getting so sick of this, it’s becoming so much more common.

Client just walked in who changed the time 3 TIMES! First 8pm then 10pm then 7pm!

Then he comes in with neighbours 😡

Then he walks in awkward and shifty looking as fuck, trying to greet him at the door was forced.

Asked him if he likes OWO which he said yes so I asked him to shower and he refused.

Then like a big baby, he’s like do I really have to? I said I’m not gonna stand here and argue, force you and explain why I want reassurance that your dick is clean enough for me to give OWO so just leave.

In fairness to him, he smelt fresh from his clothes but I’ve been caught out that way before by a client who’s dick was fresh pissy where he had clearly had a piss at some point between having a shower and getting to my flat so I won’t be fooled by that again.

And the amount of clients who do shower on arrival and don’t go near under their foreskins so even that isn’t a guarantee but your never gonna get off to a good start with me when you make it awkward like that over a shower?

I charge £100 a half hour, that’s a lot of money to deprive yourself of a service I would otherwise of made effort with.

What would anyone else of done in that situation? Bearing in mind, it was extremely awkward.

I don't offer OWO, but in the event I get a dodgy armpit one who doesn't want to shower I tell them to wash properly in the basin with hot water, soap and a flannel. They get a better wash that way than standing in the shower with their arms hanging by their sides anyway and so do genitals.

You already posted about the second one weeks ago unless I'm going mad, so you can check back on the answers people have already taken the time to write. If you don't already do so I would make sure you tell them on the phone if showers are compulsory so they can decide whether or not to book and waste everybody's time (it's no good just having it on ads because they don't read them) and I'd add that there's no reason for anybody to see you in your lingerie before they've paid unless.you choose to open the door half-dressed. Nobody sees mine without coughing up first.