See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: bareback  (Read 15717 times)

miss caroline

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 30
bareback
« on: 11 November 2010, 11:24:26 am »
well iv been looking at aw and other website and im shocked how many will do bareback
i dont understand why would girls will do it some charge extra 20 or 30 some dont charge any more
sorry if any one reading this that does bb im not beening nasty but once you get aids theres no going back no cure just a slow painful death saying all that most that do bb are fully booked the money rolling in and just about paying bills but hey i no whats right and whats not NO one should do bb an escort or not who agrees

Dani

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1,483
Re: bareback
« Reply #1 on: 11 November 2010, 11:40:50 am »
Whilst I personally do not agree with it, I would never presume to judge anyone else for their choices. Who am I to judge anyone when doing a job that is judged as morally wrong by so many others. We are all entitled to our thoughts and beliefs and whilst we do not agree with what other people are doing, it really is not our place to say anything. You know what is right for you just as they know what is right for them.
Yes it can be risky, yes their is a chance of contracting HIV or other STI's but these girls have obviously made an informed choice and decided for them it is worth the risk.
In an ideal world everyone would use condoms. I do for penetration but choose not to most of the time for oral which also carries a risk but one I choose to live with. I also do not like dental dams although keep them for the clients who ask.
Truth is far more important than what one wants to hear. With truth there is no us and them or colour or religion there is just fact

miss caroline

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 30
Re: bareback
« Reply #2 on: 11 November 2010, 12:02:43 pm »
i agree with you each to there own we all got to live with what we do

River

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1,150
Re: bareback
« Reply #3 on: 11 November 2010, 12:20:49 pm »
I'm a pre-op transsexual female.
so BB by definition has to mean  BB anal sex.
BB anal sex is much much much much much riskier than BB vaginal sex.
When someone asks for BB,
I hear a request saying:
"I would like to meet you, with the intention of killing you"

I usually hang up the phone, without discussion.

Also if they have seen an escort who offers  BB
I also cancel any appointment, and send them a link to a site for
counselling HIV patients.

Sometimes I actually talk with them
They are usually from the middle east or Indian sub continent,
very rarely do I get uk clients requesting BB.
I usually say:
I insist that you wear a condom
as I wouldn't want any more clients to catch AIDS from me.   :o :o :o

There is usually a long pause, then a stutter.
I explain that every single Transsexual escort who does bareback
definitely absolutely, does have AIDS
and that about 7 of my clients have so far died.

They then usually hang up.

I despise clients who seek BB as this behaviour kills people
and puts pressure on some escorts to offer riskier services.

I once had a client and the condom split.
First thing Monday morning I went to the GUM clinic for a 28 day course of PEP.
These drugs are so nasty, make you feel so ill.
They also give you anti sickness pills, just so you can keep the PEP down
PEP is the same cocktail of drugs that HIV patients have to take for the rest of their lives.

When some slimeball asks me for BB
he is inviting me to sign up to
a shortened life with a
debilitating illness,
a collage of very unpleasant drugs
and an early grave.

Thats why I like to get in their heads and freak them out.
« Last Edit: 11 November 2010, 12:24:10 pm by JodieTs »

miss caroline

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 30
Re: bareback
« Reply #4 on: 11 November 2010, 08:00:28 pm »
hi thanks for thoughts,glad to hear what you have to say

Jem

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 84
    • Jemma Fox London Escort
Re: bareback
« Reply #5 on: 12 November 2010, 09:48:39 pm »
Jodie, I couldn't say it better, whilst I am very open to people choosing consensual adult activities, people who chose the risk of murder and suicide need help, not a pat on the back going 'it's your choice'. Life can be hard but I think it's still precious, and not worth the risk - very sad this whole bb thing, just my opinion x

Cherrylips

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 246
Re: bareback
« Reply #6 on: 12 November 2010, 11:16:23 pm »
I agree with Jem.  I feel really strongly about bb and can't get my head round why people would risk their health/lives like that.  I just can't bring myself to say 'each to their own' with this kind of thing, even though I'm very open-minded and  non-judgmental.  I'm aware of all the arguments like well they could be out shagging a girl they meet in a club unprotected......but that doesn't wash with me I'm afraid.

I've refused quite a few punters on AW if they have been with a girl who does bb.  It says it on my profile but they still ask.  No matter how much I need the money I will never go with a punter who has been with the bb girls in my area (or any area of course).  I've read some of the feedback on the bareback girls in my area and its gross!!!


Lady_Lust_XXX

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 6,700
  • 'nil carborundum illegitimi'
Re: bareback
« Reply #7 on: 13 November 2010, 01:05:21 am »
I'm a pre-op transsexual female.
so BB by definition has to mean  BB anal sex.
BB anal sex is much much much much much riskier than BB vaginal sex.
When someone asks for BB,
I hear a request saying:
"I would like to meet you, with the intention of killing you"

I usually hang up the phone, without discussion.

Also if they have seen an escort who offers  BB
I also cancel any appointment, and send them a link to a site for
counselling HIV patients.

Sometimes I actually talk with them
They are usually from the middle east or Indian sub continent,
very rarely do I get uk clients requesting BB.
I usually say:
I insist that you wear a condom
as I wouldn't want any more clients to catch AIDS from me.   :o :o :o

There is usually a long pause, then a stutter.
I explain that every single Transsexual escort who does bareback
definitely absolutely, does have AIDS
and that about 7 of my clients have so far died.

They then usually hang up.

I despise clients who seek BB as this behaviour kills people
and puts pressure on some escorts to offer riskier services.

I once had a client and the condom split.
First thing Monday morning I went to the GUM clinic for a 28 day course of PEP.
These drugs are so nasty, make you feel so ill.
They also give you anti sickness pills, just so you can keep the PEP down
PEP is the same cocktail of drugs that HIV patients have to take for the rest of their lives.

When some slimeball asks me for BB
he is inviting me to sign up to
a shortened life with a
debilitating illness,
a collage of very unpleasant drugs
and an early grave.

Thats why I like to get in their heads and freak them out.

Love it Jodie, absolutely love it ...................... couldnt have put it better myself.  I'll need to try and remember your words if/when (and no doubt there will be one soon) I am asked for BB. Defo nono.
Beauty is nothing to do with having a pretty face.
It is about having a pretty mind, a pretty heart,
And most importantly a beautiful soul.

EmilyJones

  • Member
  • Sr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3,005
Re: bareback
« Reply #8 on: 13 November 2010, 04:45:52 am »
I've refused quite a few punters on AW if they have been with a girl who does bb.  It says it on my profile but they still ask.  No matter how much I need the money I will never go with a punter who has been with the bb girls in my area (or any area of course).  I've read some of the feedback on the bareback girls in my area and its gross!!

What about punters who do bareback with their wives, girlfriends or mistresses? What about clients who get "just this once" bareback from their favourite otherwise-safe prossie in exchange for being a loyal customer?

There's no way to know where a client's penis has been so it's best to always assume he's done some incredibly risky bareback at some point and act accordingly (eg being extremely liberal with the condoms). And unfortunately, sitting about being judgemental about other people doesn't make you less likely to catch something off someone should you make just one mistake, so whether or not it's wrong, it's entirely pointless.
Disclosure: The other person behind yourescortsite.com

River

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1,150
Re: bareback
« Reply #9 on: 13 November 2010, 10:48:14 am »
What about punters who do bareback with their wives, girlfriends or mistresses? What about clients who get "just this once" bareback from their favourite otherwise-safe prossie in exchange for being a loyal customer?
BB in a monogamous relationship has
NO CONNECTION AT ALL
with a person seeking BB with a sex provider.

Yes we are solely responsible for our own sexual health,
but a client or a transsexual sex worker who does {anal} BB
is many many many times more likely to have HIV
than someone in the general population
& many many many times more likely to have HIV than a sex provider who practices safer sex.

Being judgemental about other  potential customers sexual behaviour, allows us to make a risk assessment
This helps keeps us safe.

HIV risks
Vaginal BB is much lower in risk than anal BB
but  
much much higher a risk than "covered" vag sex
« Last Edit: 13 November 2010, 10:54:03 am by JodieTs »

EmilyJones

  • Member
  • Sr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3,005
Re: bareback
« Reply #10 on: 13 November 2010, 11:07:42 am »
BB in a monogamous relationship has
NO CONNECTION AT ALL
with a person seeking BB with a sex provider.

By saying "wife, mistress or girlfriend" I was kind of implying non-monogamy outside of paid sexual contact. The only time I've had unprotected sex was while in a monogamous long-term (well, a year!) relationship and even that was long before I started working; I would never do so now. I also think it's strange to say bareback outside of paid sex has no connection with bareback within paid sex - it's not like a client who does bareback is very likely to only do it in one or other situation, is it? What about drunken random shags? Casual sex sites?

Being judgemental about other  potential customers sexual behaviour, allows us to make a risk assessment
This helps keeps us safe.

Of course. We should judge that every sexual encounter has a potential risk and act accordingly, using condoms 100% of the time and trying to make wise decisions about OWO based on our personal risk assessments.

I meant that judging other people as "wrong in the head" or whatever doesn't keep us safer. Of course I feel it would be wrong for me to have any unprotected sex at all at the moment, but you have to base your risk assessments on the fact that other people will do it with somebody, most likely, and get on with your own business sensibly.
Disclosure: The other person behind yourescortsite.com

Cherrylips

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 246
Re: bareback
« Reply #11 on: 13 November 2010, 11:57:07 am »
What about punters who do bareback with their wives, girlfriends or mistresses? What about clients who get "just this once" bareback from their favourite otherwise-safe prossie in exchange for being a loyal customer?

There's no way to know where a client's penis has been so it's best to always assume he's done some incredibly risky bareback at some point and act accordingly (eg being extremely liberal with the condoms). And unfortunately, sitting about being judgemental about other people doesn't make you less likely to catch something off someone should you make just one mistake, so whether or not it's wrong, it's entirely pointless.

Oh so I should agree to see a punter who has feedback from one or more of the girls who do bb and say to myself "Oh never mind I'm sure he has unprotected sex with his wife/gf/mistress anyway so it'll be fine"  Sorry Emily but I can't agree with you on this one.  If a guy does bb with a prossie  then the risk is multiplied ten fold.

I've heard all the excuses about bareback.  Of course our punters have unprotected sex with their wives and girlfriends, therefore they are putting their wives and girlfriends at risk if they have just had bb sex with a prossie who may have had bb sex with 3 other people that day or however many.  Its incredibly selfish.  But as long as the supply is there there will always be the demand I suppose.  Its such a shame that some girls feel they should offer this to stay ahead of the competition and have this mentality of "it will never happen to me" .

So I am perfectly entitled to my opinion and will not be made to feel like I'm a terrible person  because of this opinion.  I certainly do not "sit around being judgemental about other people" in general but like I said its something I do feel strongly about and that will never change and for the record  because I do not have unprotected sex and do not see punters who see  girls who do bb  I AM less likely to catch something thank you very much.

amy

  • Administrator
  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15,557
Re: bareback
« Reply #12 on: 13 November 2010, 01:53:43 pm »
Oh so I should agree to see a punter who has feedback from one or more of the girls who do bb and say to myself "Oh never mind I'm sure he has unprotected sex with his wife/gf/mistress anyway so it'll be fine"  Sorry Emily but I can't agree with you on this one.  If a guy does bb with a prossie  then the risk is multiplied ten fold.

I've heard all the excuses about bareback.  Of course our punters have unprotected sex with their wives and girlfriends, therefore they are putting their wives and girlfriends at risk if they have just had bb sex with a prossie who may have had bb sex with 3 other people that day or however many.  Its incredibly selfish.  But as long as the supply is there there will always be the demand I suppose.  Its such a shame that some girls feel they should offer this to stay ahead of the competition and have this mentality of "it will never happen to me" .

So I am perfectly entitled to my opinion and will not be made to feel like I'm a terrible person  because of this opinion.  I certainly do not "sit around being judgemental about other people" in general but like I said its something I do feel strongly about and that will never change and for the record  because I do not have unprotected sex and do not see punters who see  girls who do bb  I AM less likely to catch something thank you very much.

Cherrylips, you and everybody else of course have the right to turn away or accept any client for whatever reason you choose, and your motives for doing so are nobody's business but your own. Some ladies will not see men purely because of their age or ethnic origin and no matter how hateful and ignorant I find that type 0f prejudice I also accept that it is not for me to tell people how they should conduct their business, and I'm sure that's what Emily meant. I would ask that you stop posting vaguely formed 'statistics' unless you can substantiate them with evidence, please - 'multiplied tenfold' according to whom, and when? Who were the sample group studied, and how many of them were there?

Every time this old chestnut pops up I post a vaguely different version of the same thing as below:

I'm more interested in who you suggest we appoint to decide and police what adult women can and cannot do with their bodies, and what (legal) services we should be permitted (or not) to offer? Why stop at bareback? Plenty of people disapprove of hardsports/scat, BDSM and even OWO - shall we ban them as well?

It is up to the individual to decide what legal services he or she wants to offer or avail her/himself of, and to glibly state that because someone is prepared to provide or perform acts that we personally disapprove of must automatically be 'desperate' or 'exploited' is not only patronising, but disingenuous in the extreme.

People can offer whatever they like, provided they are within the law. There are enough folk out there who think we and our clients are all filthy scum - we don't need to start looking down our noses at each other too. And for the purposes of clarity, 1322 out of a total of 14221 female escorts [on AW at the time] currently advertising is slightly under nine and a half percent, which even without allowing for the sizeable chunk of those which will be fake, still means that over ninety percent of advertisers not offering it. Personally, I worry far more about the people who insist that they would never do such a thing, and then offer it anyway ( 'oh, it's just with a couple of regulars I've known for ages' seems to be a common one - the mind boggles).

Speaking for myself, I assume all clients do bareback with somebody, whether it's other prossies, one night stands or the missus and decide on my services accordingly. I suspect that we're the lowest risk group of the lot.

After several tries, I still haven't had any sort of answer to the first question. I don't do bareback or even OWO but from a hypothetical point of view, if I decided I was going to offer unprotected everything in every orifice for 50p, nobody, but NOBODY is going to tell me I can't. Who gets to decide for us what we are allowed to do with our own bodies and for what reason? Do we ban all unprotected sex between people who are not in a monogamous relationship, or just that where money has changed hands? How would this be enforced?

All we can do is take responsibility for our own sexual health, calculate the risks we are prepared to take (or not) including filtering which clients we are prepared to see and act appropriately. It's also worth remembering that the world does not revolve around Adultwork, and the man who may have twenty lovely feedbacks from butter-wouldn't-melt ladies who wouldn't knock out a handjob without body armour could have spent the previous evening with his regular who doesn't advertise on there, but both advertises bb and does it with anyone who asks. I would recommend that ladies worry less about what other people are doing and concern themselves solely with self preservation. The two things are not the same.
« Last Edit: 13 November 2010, 02:02:39 pm by amy »

Cherrylips

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 246
Re: bareback
« Reply #13 on: 13 November 2010, 03:17:04 pm »
Amy, I completely respect your's and Emily's opinion and this topic is something I have debated before.  It is up to people how they conduct their business and that is fine.  What I cannot change is my own personal opinion and the only thing I object to is being thought less of for having this opinion.  I am entitled to voice my opinion and was just agreeing with what some of the other posters said.  I am not shouting it from the rooftops, just contributing to a thread which I do feel strongly about.  I have at no stage told someone what they can or can't do nor would I dare to. 

I am up to my eyes in journal articles as it is and have no wish to go looking for more to prove my point so literally but I'm sure you know what I meant.  I think we can safely say that a person, prossie or otherwise, who has unprotected sex with multiple men in a day or week (and said men may have also had unprotected sex with another prossie who in turn may have had unprotected sex with multiple men also) would be putting themselves, on the balance of probabilities, at greater risk of contracting a sexual disease of some kind.   

miss caroline

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 30
Re: bareback
« Reply #14 on: 13 November 2010, 03:36:51 pm »
well i must say it was good to read every one thougths on this matter
as many of you said every one to there own choice
we all have to live with it and be able to sleep at night