Keeping sane

Looking back

My top tip to everyone is to pace yourself. By this I mean you need to look after yourself emotionally and physically above the quick money that can be made.

When I first started working and everything was new and exciting I really went for it seeing as many people in a week as I possibly could. I revelled in the way it made me feel, my self confidence was sky high and I couldn't help but congratulate myself on the way the clients seemed to love me, the ease at which I felt I had changed career and of course the amount of money which seemed to be made very easily. But within two months though I was exhausted!

I reduced the number of clients I saw a week quite substantially and began to see the job as it should be seen and that is as a long term career. Yes it is possible to make a lot of money quickly but with hindsight I say it isn't worth it. Have a plan in your head about the future.

Ladies everywhere find it very difficult to leave the industry once they have started. Some people decide on the amount of money they need to make for the future, others bank it all when they get it. Many ladies though and I don't think I am alone in this see the money as easy to make and therefore think there is little need in planning. Once you are working you will find that your whole perception of the value of money changes.

When you can earn a few hundred pounds in a matter of hours anything seems possible but beware because one day you will stop working. Whether it's because you feel you have simply had enough of being nice to everyone or that you are mentally and physically tired or that your hopes for the future change, whatever reason it is you will stop and then making a few hundred pounds will not be so easy!

I'd advise all escorts to try and keep an eye on the 'real world'. Yes, the money we can make is very good and, yes, there will always be clients but whether most escorts want to admit it or not I think there comes a time when everyone of you will question why you have chosen this job. There is nothing wrong with that in fact I think it is healthy to question, and don't feel bad if you decide it is time to leave. You have done more than most women could do in their lives and you have been rewarded greatly for it so try and recognise when the time is right to stop because you will feel so much better about yourself.

I hope I am not coming across as too negative. I don't wish to but this side of the industry is not talked about a great deal. The most important thing is that you look after yourselves. If you wake up one morning and groan at the thought of seeing another client you will most definitely not be the first. Take the time to figure out why the thought isn't good as it probably was at the beginning.

Everyone has bad days and it's important in a job where you are being judged constantly, where your self image is questioned and where you feel you have a secret job to mentally look after yourself. Looking back at my years of escorting, I regret not taking more time off. I regret not giving myself the time to reassess my decision to work. I loved the job, I found it exciting and I felt great but we all need time to ourselves and phone calls and emails take up a huge amount of time everyday and that means you are thinking constantly about the industry. Enjoy yourselves but take care too. Listen to your instincts and you will be ok!

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What about message boards, or forums?

Message boards can be a great source of fun and amusement. They can also give those who don't have anyone to talk to about their hobby or job (maybe because those close wouldn't understand) somewhere to exchange thoughts and let off steam and generally have a meeting of minds where, sometimes, cyber friends become real life friends with a special secret in common. They can also help in raising a girl's profile to increase business just like any other form of networking.

I'm sure there are other positive reasons to as to why people use them but a little caution should be advised:

Misinterpretation

Very often an innocent comment is misconstrued, sometimes quite deliberately by someone who is either trying to raise their own profile or tarnish the good reputation of someone they feel is more popular or successful than them. These characters usually have more than one 'victim' or tend to become obsessed with the one person and all their posts and so over time, more and more people will see just what they are about and they will become seen as a laughing stock by most. Of course they will retain some allies but please don't fall onto the trap of thinking everyone will believe what they say and blowing it out of proportion — it is unlikely to have a great effect on your business as the percentage of clients who involve themselves in messages boards is really quite low. It can be hard to get it into perspective when you are in the middle of an 'attack' so taking a step back and a few days away from the boards is probably the best approach. Rather annoyingly, defending yourself is often seen as a sign of guilt and if you attack fire with fire, you can end up feeding right into the perpetrator hands as they then have "real evidence" to show just what a bitch you are!

Alcohol-Driven Posting

Friday and Saturday nights can often be great entertainment on the boards as when some posters have had a few, they really go to town. Their desperation to show others up can have hilarious consequences (if its not you being attacked, of course) but usually the board moderators will come along and clean up their mess. So, the best advice if you do find yourself on the end of it, is really to ignore it and it will go away (if the moderators miss it then drop them a line, most boards have rules against personal abuse).

Bitterness and Jealousy

What powerful emotions these two are and how prevalent they are in this business. Understandable really given the very personally nature of what we are doing but unwelcome all the same. I have personally seen girls dig away at other ladies on an ongoing basis. Usually the victim will be someone with a sound reputation and the digger will be someone newer on the scene who wants a piece of that rep. Some do it in a subtle way others have a more direct approach which is easier to spot but either way, its not nice.

Playing the Jealousy Card

This is my personal favourite and so makes me laugh. For example, someone I know had a lady attack her, copy many of her ideas and make up lies about her and yet when she had the gall to finally approach her and say 'I'm not happy about this', she was accused of being jealous of her! It's a good one coz it makes onlookers question the motive of the victim so just one to watch out for and best risen above — although that of course is sometimes easier said than done.

Paranoia

Paranoia can soon set in with all the above going on and it is good to keep a check on your emotions if you start to feel that everyone has it in for you. Again take a break and get some perspective on it.

Fast-Changing Allegiances

Cliques are pretty common in message boards and sometimes you may feel like joining one particularly if you feel under attack from one of their 'hate figures' — birds of a feather and all but the reality of cyber message boards is that allegiances are fast-changing and if you are not careful, something you said in confidence one day may well be used against you another day. There have been many instances of private emails being passed and posted around. Of course some may be doctored before they are posted and again this is cyberland and very little is what it seems, so just exercise a little caution before sending that mail.

Whore Hags

A great term and one used to describe those who hang around messages board chatting up the ladies. Some punt, others don't and for those who don't, you have to really wonder why they hang around escorting message boards when they do not partake in the hobby. There are one or two around who are there purely to cause trouble and to listen and pass on gossip.

Again while they may have some credibility initially, after a while most people see them for what they are and tend to ignore them. Often they will involve themselves in gossip and offer themselves as a shoulder to cry on and a resource to help you. One in particular set himself up as a bit of a guru and had ladies going to him with all sorts of gossip. He would then collate that gossip, use a touch of social engineering to glean more information, keep copies of message board postings, read between the lines and then deliver his conclusions to a wide eyed audience. Sometimes he got lucky and got it right, other times he was way off the mark and eventually his credence and people's fascination with him took a real nose dive. As they say, give someone enough rope and they will hang themselves. Our advice is to try and rise above it in the meantime.

There are many other negative sides to using message boards but the reality is that it is just a small handful of people who cause the trouble and so overall our advice is to rise above the bad stuff and use them for a bit of fun and networking. Alternatively, just stick to message boards where traffic (via controversy) is clearly less important than people's feelings and reputations, meaning the atmosphere is more friendly and safe. Take the good and ignore the bad and don't take them too seriously. Remember its only cyber and you just need to turn your PC off and they all go away — just like that!