It’s true: some women pay men for sex and companionship.
Every so often, there’s even a news story or a film about it.
But the number of women who do so is nowhere near as many as the number of men who pay women.. or even the number of men who pay other men.
Anyone who says otherwise is after your money.
But the people who want my money say..
Adapting the words of one of the most famous escorts of the 20th Century, Mandy Rice Davies, “Well, they would, wouldn’t they?”
If you look at the websites of some ‘agencies’, you’d be forgiven for thinking there is a huge market out there and a desperate need for more ‘straight male escorts’.
In fact it’s such a large market and the need is so great that.. they want to charge you, the wannabe escort, money.
Why? Because they can’t make a living out of charging women clients to meet you!
In reality, nearly all of them are advertising sites – you pay them to advertise your details – and most of them are bad places to advertise. Really staggeringly bad places in some cases. They’ll happily take several hundred pounds from you and then not let anyone else see your ad!
Are there any agencies worth working for?
Well, a few agencies that primarily have female escorts do have some male escorts too. We’ve no idea just how much work they get, but it must be enough to cover the time and effort in promoting this side of their agency.
Before you rush off and offer your services, remember these agencies will be able to pick and choose which men they take on and very probably already have enough for the demand they experience, so be prepared to be rejected. We’re never going to run an agency, but if we did we would not even bother having straight male staff: the amount of bookings they would get would be too small to cover the hassle of handling all the calls from hopeful men.
For non-sexual work, there used to be a small agency that passed the basic test of not charging its staff – even for the cost of ‘security checks’ – and only making its money from finding them clients.. but it closed over around 2005. We’ve no idea how much work their small band of escorts got, but we suspect it wasn’t much. One of the problems is that the scams can have a far bigger advertising budget, but even so you could only really find this lot if you already knew their name. Oops.
Around 2010, there were signs of another bunch of optimists starting one up, even if they had to be talked into not charging the escorts anything up front. Don’t ask us where to find it: if you cannot do so, how do you think any potential clients will manage? (In fact it looks like they had given up within a few months!)
Working as a couple
The market is not as large as for single escorts, but both men and women sometimes book ‘mixed’ (i.e. one man, one woman) couples.
For some clients, it is a chance for voyeurism and exhibitionism (watching and being watched), and for others, it is a chance to explore their bisexuality. While you may like the idea of being with two women, if you rule out having another man as the client, you are rejecting well over half of the possible bookings.
You will need to find someone prepared to work with you though, and any woman already working as an escort probably gets offers to work as a couple several times a week. They are unlikely to welcome yet another man apparently after some free sex with them.
DIY
The alternative is working independently. Registering your own .co.uk domain costs about £10 a year, and you can find free webspace easily. Or you can place your own ads somewhere, but be aware that as of April 2018 just one ‘adult work’ site had 6,669 very optimistic men looking to sell sex to women. We would bet our entire earnings from male clients that only a handful will ever get a booking from a woman, even the ones who are generously offering their services for free.
However you advertise your services, you should be up front about looking for payment, even if this has to be done discreetly at first (looking for someone ‘generous’ is one common euphemism).
Again, be prepared for things to be quiet – a significant proportion of work for straight male escorts is gained through word of mouth. Imagine how good you have to be for a woman to tell her friends that she’s paid for sex.. and it was worth it.
You also need to consider how appealing you are. A book we like on being a sex worker suggests that women considering escorting pick up someone ‘average’ in a bar and have sex with them, and seeing how that feels. For men looking to escort women, the equivalent test would probably be to go to a bar and have every woman in the place willing to go home with them. If you can’t do that through a combination of looks and attitude, you may find it tough going.
Doing men anyway
As we said at the start, there are many many more men willing to pay men for sex than women willing to pay men.
If you’re determined to sell sex, are you prepared to let another man suck your cock or fuck another man?
If the answer to both of those is ’no’, don’t even consider giving up the day job. Or pay much to anyone in an attempt to make the dream come true: this is a case where even a tenner for a domain name is very likely to be money down the drain.
If the answer to either or both of those is ‘yes’ or ‘possibly’, then you have a chance. Men on the gay scene are not shy about expressing their sexual fantasies, and having sex with a straight man is common enough to be a genre in gay porn. Typically, they don’t want to fuck a straight guy - they want to suck one off or be fucked by one.
If you look at some of the gay media - if you can’t face browsing some in a busy chain newsagent or a library, you may struggle with escorting - then you may notice various ’looks’ are common in the more sexual ads. ‘Sportswear’ and ‘smartly suited’ have been around for ages and ‘scally’ was hugely popular at one point: young men looking like they’d just as likely mug you as let you suck them off. As well as the ‘young, topless with a six pack’ pictures, you’ll probably see ones of hairy men and chubby men. Can you do one or more of whatever the current looks are?
This is a case where you want to pay a visit to the local sexual health clinic, and at the very least getting the Hepatitis B vaccine. If you’re planning on fucking with other men, talk to the clinic about how to get PEP - a combination of drugs taken very soon after unprotected sex that can prevent catching HIV - and PrEP - the same sort of drugs taken daily that prevent catching HIV.
It’s not just men..
Incidentally, the situation seems to be much the same for female escorts who only want to have women clients. While there are women who pay other women for sex and companionship, most of the responses to escort ads in the lesbian press are apparently women wondering about becoming a lesbian escort themselves.