SAAFE forum
General Category => Warnings & Wasters => Topic started by: amy on 16 July 2009, 11:14:13 pm
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Have had a right one tonight - am ashamed to have been got properly thumped and definitely embassred. How do we put up with it so much? I like my punters but FFS! Am going to had have a black eye for a week :'(xx
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Deleted - will repost below.
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Amy that is awful. Please do not feel ashamed, none of us should take any responsibility for the actions of a nasty thug who hurts us while we are just going about our business. I cant imagine how shaken I would be in your situation. Are you OK enough to go to the police as theft with violence is a horrible horrible crime?
Make sure you look after yourself and deal with it in the best way for you. If that is by talking to other ladies then I am sure lots of the SAAFE girls will lend an ear.
xx
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Amy! That sounds TERRIBLE. Are you on your own now - do you have someone you trust nearby you could go and see? I wish everyone from saafe was there now to help you in person. :-\ do you know any of us offline so you have a number to call if you need it?xx
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Am reposting for clarity - I did try last night :-[ but have since found out that I have concussion following an attack by a client.
James - has visited once before three weeks ago (quite possibly to look the place over) - white, short dark hair and slightly overweight (inother words completely unremarkable) late thirties and mobile number 07519 5940**. Completely normal booking - bit nervy and I thought maybe very slightly drunk but nothing out of the ordinary. Got strangely shirty when back in living room to get coat and so on - picked up my bag out of the blue and started rifling through it, and when I told him off and went to take it back he punched me in the face and I now have a huge black eye and probably won't be able to workfor at least four or five days. He stole my weeks money - close to ?500 which was in my paying in book to go to the bank, although I know full well that I shouldn't have had it lying about like that.
Have been to hospital and police station after ringing a friend who came over and took one look at me before calling the taxi. To all incall ladies - get a cheapo dud handbag and stick twenty quid and some bits in it; if I'd done this I could have just handed it over instead of making a fuss and getting thumped. I have texted other local ladies but anyone around York area who wants the full number please PM me.
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Good god, this is absolutely awful Amy. Are you with someone or at least keeping yourself safe now? What a lowlife bastard. Will the police be able to do anything?
Not sure what on earth to say- just sending you lots of online healing thoughts. xxxxxx
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Considering the state you were in last night, I appreciate your making posting the warning on here your top priority. Hope you're feeling better today.x
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Yes, I hope your feeling better also Amy.
I just want to say that I spoke to Amy last night and she was very distressed.
Being the fighter she is I heard the words 'I wish I had fought back more' from her and I just want to say publically, your enough of a fighter Amy. That even if 500.00 is all you have in the whole wide world, it is not worth fighting over, let the scum take it because if you fight over it, you might not be capable of making a phone call after...
I don't know (luckily) how it feels to have a person in your own home bash you one and steal from you but I can imagine it feels pretty bloody dire and awful and I am so happy you reported it to the police and posted here as well. We all need a reminder now and again (very unhappy that the reminders have to come in this form) to never trust anybody that is a client no matter how well we think we know them.
I realise you did not know this client, but we still need to pull our socks up now and again as I can admit to being a bit lax at times on the whole security front just because I have seen the man before. I will not be again, not now I have heard the distress for myself.
I think the idea of keeping a bag with a small amount of cash in it is quite a good idea actually.
I don't think you did anything wrong Amy, he had to go looking for the money, it was not sat out on your coffee table so please don't beat yourself up over this. He was adamant to do it, end of.
Good job you have a person near you that can get to you and cares enough to get you help.
Try and take it easy this weekend and steady yourself out a bit. He is a lowlife prick with a lowlife life to go with it. Your worth 100 of him, don't forget that, the total tosser, a twat head. Men like him soon get their just deserts.
.... I do love a forum you can actually swear on!
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Oh so sorry to hear of your misfortune! I would like to echo what the other ladies have said. Often we tend to react with a feeling of embarrassment and anger for not being able to fight back more etc, basically a riot of different feelings. Gawd, I feel angry for you but bottom line is your health and even from a practical point of view the overall impact on your business and working. Bad enough you got a black eye but I am relieved that you did not receive any further or god forbid really serious injuries. It is horrible to lose a big wad of cash but not worth your health fighting tooth and nail! Wish you all the best and hope the bruise(s) will fade really quickly. I can imagine so that you are shaken up and need some sort of release also for the pent up anger over someone doing this to you. Perhaps you can look for some class or exercise like kickboxing ? I find that this really help to let off steam and also releases endorphins. Hope your concussion will be clear up.
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All I wanted to say was that Amy I am disgusted by what happened to you and I hope that you have positive people around you to lean on (which it sounds like you do). Well done for being brave and reporting it to the police I can imagine how horrid that is.
Ladies please do keep safe. What I have been doing recently is having a small tin of extra hold in the bedroom so if they try anything then they get hairsprayed.
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Glad you reported it, sorry it's happened like this. Ummm, one question I have is do guys get put on the Sex Offenders register for this?
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This is awful, just awful and I hope the police will take proper action on this.
More importantly, I hope you are feeling better and looking after yourself. It's certainly made a lot of us, I am sure, sit up and think, and I have to confess being somewhat lax about security measures, which I am now going to review so it really is much appreciated you telling us all here what has happened, as distressing as it must have been.
I wonder if anyone would consider having something like mace at home or would that just be going too far?
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I'm wary of things like mace. A weapon can be used against you, especially if your attacker is more skilled at fighting than you are.
I met a girl who had a security camera set up in her working flat, with the pictures stored at a remote location. That's what I'd want to do if I get a flat.
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Gosh that is a brilliant idea however where was the camera? Was it an actual cctv upon entry or somewhere in the flat hidden? Its a great idea though.
I am going to ensure I see all my clients cars now and take down reg plates I think.
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I don't know where she had hers, but I was thinking in the hallway so you can get a shot of them when they arrive, but no compromising stuff. CCTV systems don't cost a whole lot so you can get the real thing, just make sure you're filming inside your property or the footage may not be admissible as evidence.
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Mace is considered a firearm and a big no no in legal terms (haitspray however isnt) ;)
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I met a girl who had a security camera set up in her working flat, with the pictures stored at a remote location. That's what I'd want to do if I get a flat.
Exactly what I will be doing when I get a flat to do incalls from. Maplins do some security cameras for what looks like a decent price
?200 = two cameras and a base station with a 160gb hdd. Not bad for piece of mind, if you ask me...
http://www.maplin.co.uk/Module.aspx?ModuleNo=243127
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OMG Amy...I actually havent checked the warnings lately (which is why I havent said nothing) but damn to hear that happened to you makes me want to punch somebody right now! I cant believe that. And to hear he stole money, and this was an incall wasnt it?
Girl Im telling you, when it comes to incalls I have never, EVER trusted anybody. Not to say you did anything wrong, but it just lets us all know to stay on guard during incalls cause assholes get stupid! Theres been times I did incalls and quickly threw everything valuble in the car in a heaping mess cause they can come in, and do something stupid and run. Whereas if its at their house, well THEY are the ones who are at risk cause one can very easily wreck their place if they try something stupid!
I know what its like to be robbed. I lost everything one time, a stupid mistake but til this day I use it to my advantage. Lost about $450, my wallet with everything in it, glasses, keys, cell phone...Walked away with just my life. And its a horrible feeling and all I could think about is revenge revenge revenge...I was bitter for weeks! I was never able to track him down again, even with police help, I just didnt have enough information. I was even accused of 'prostituting' and this was before I even knew what escorting was! but just know that they wont be walking away with a clean slate. Your guy will get whats coming for him, but you may not ever know what it is. But its fortunate you're safe and dont be too hard on yourself.
P.S. my opinion about camera....they are good for after the fact but not during. Ever see what happens in stores? My solution would be a big, tall ass body guard....bigger than me (kinda hard to find someone taller than me!) hidden in the closet and ready to crack a skull if necessary!
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Amy i am so so sorry to hear about what you have been through. Hope you are looking after yourself and get better very very soon.
Big hugs
xxx
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Oh man, I am so sorry to hear about this! Late to these things as usual, sort of like JoeyR. I really hope your info to the police helps to catch him, I HATE men like this who think women are easy prey. Kisses
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God Amy, how terrifying my heart goes out to you. What a piece of scum i hope he gets everything he deserves!
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Thanks to everyone for their well wishes - I am much better and have had a couple of really busy weeks to make up for the money (as well as a great time in London which has cheered me up a lot).
By way of an update, I have rung the police but they don't have much hope of catching the twat, and the best I can really do is pass the number around and hope he hasn't dumped the SIM card (but I'm guessing he has as you can buy them on the seafront here for three quid).
I actually wanted to know if anyone had any experience of what happens if these people are caught; I got to thinking that I'm not sure about pressing charges even if the police found him, as I would then have to risk being named and ending up in the papers (and a lost budgie is enough to make the first few pages up here). I would feel terrible about it but I really don't know what to do for the best if he is caught - anybody have any thoughts?
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Ask the Police themselves, I would imagine their maybe a way to keep either the press out or maintain your anonymity i.e. don't use your name just report that he'd been charged with theft and assault of a woman in the area.
There must be a way around this and it's what these guys rely on - that we won't report them.
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The way things work now is that the CPS (crown prosicution service) represent 'the people' in taking the suspected to court. When you report a crime the police pass it to the CPS who determine if there is enough evidence and finiancial worth in taking the accused to court. Your role is of a witness or victim and you do not have the decision of pressing charges yes or no thats the job of the police. The only thing you could do is withdraw evidence or refuse to go to court but then again the chances are that you would not be required to go to court but your statement be read out.
With regards to court proceedings and identy issues I am not so clear but I am sure there are ways around this. Best bet is to contact victim support. hope you have found this info a bit useful.
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OMG Amy,
I haven't been on here for a while again and have missed all this, I'm glad to hear you seem to have recovered well from your ordeal and am glad you have someone close for support.
I can see your predicament about the eventuallity of having to go to court and I don't know what I would advise, as I'm not sure what I would do myself.
I can't speak for anyone else, but I would not blame you if you refused to give evidence, if they could not ensure your anonymity and you have done your bit by warning us here.
Take care of yourself whatever you do. x
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Amy I am in Yorkshire. Would you please PM me the details.
I hope you're fully mended now, but please be careful everyone. There are some right twats out there.
Luv Kate xx