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Author Topic: Manipulative Boundary Pusher - Nottingham  (Read 683 times)

FalconRabinski

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Manipulative Boundary Pusher - Nottingham
« on: 19 May 2019, 07:31:53 pm »
Andy 079766359**

In his mid-seventies, has a bit of a typical "English gent" vibe to him - I can almost imagine him on safari wearing a pith helmet  ;D
He has a full beard and moustache, mostly white with some grey. Likes "real tennis" (as opposed to lawn tennis, whatever that means) and cricket. Tries to control the booking process, telling you what he will do to confirm, etc, so I had to talk over him several times to get across that things will be done MY way.

I was warned of this guy's behaviour by another worker prior to him making a booking and decided to see him anyway.

He is very pushy regarding filming you or taking photos of you, even begging for just a selfie with him.

I think he makes a point of not mentioning this when he calls and speaks about what he want during the booking so you are not mentally prepared to say "no" to him on this issue.

Uses a variety of tactics to try and make you feel silly for refusing him.

"Oh, you must not trust me." - no mate, you literally just walked into my life ten minutes ago!
"Everyone else does it."
"I won't show anyone."
Then offers to show you the 'proof' that "everyone else does it", at which point I stated very strongly that I would never allow him to photograph me for that reason alone - to which he patronisingly said that I must think I am very clever to spot that.
"I have a mask if you want / I won't take a photo of your face."
"I'm an old guy and I might forget you if I don't get a picture." - this is basically a threat that he will not rebook if you don't allow the photos or filming.

Basically all geared to manipulate people into saying yes. Will keep asking even after being refused. Will try a different tack if you push back against one. At one point even said, "come on, we both know we have more to lose here..." - sorry dude, didn't realise you took your life in your hands every time you made a booking! lol

I would see him again if he books, but I think it's important to warn other workers about his boundary pushing behaviour - please don't let him make you feel silly and pressure you into doing something you don't want - there's nothing wrong with being cautious about who has control over your images or wanting to maintain that control yourself! If you offer filming/ photos, you'll probably think he is fine - but he definitely warrants a report for his lack of ability to take a "no."
« Last Edit: 19 May 2019, 07:36:08 pm by FalconRabinski »