I had an outcall today to what can only be described as "Deliverance country". 

As I drove down mile after mile of deserted narrow lanes, the guy was directing me on the phone. Told me to park at the end of the road as it was a dead end lane, and walk up to his cottage.

I always drive past to make sure they are there, turned at the end of the road and drove back. My driver exclaiming that "I might end up on that huge bonfire pile" at the back of the house.  Ha ha.
 
My driver then went to park on the green bit.  When we drove past there was guy fiddling with a car in the drive at the house next door, had a good look at our car as we drove past.  I got dropped off at no 3. Knocked on the door as my driver drove off, (bearing in mind it was only 2mins since I spoke to the bloke on the phone).  No one was there, and the house was derelict.

Rang again and it rang and rang, the bloke still fiddling with his car next door. Got my driver to come back up and get me straight away.  As I walked down to the green, the bloke was having a good look.  It was obviously my punter who must have lived at no 2.

Firstly the guy had told me to park at the bottom and walk up a deserted lane. I had to pass no 2 and the garage as I approached no 3.  Number 3 was derelict and there was loads of rubbish, 20ft high, out the back.  God knows what might have happened to me if I had walked up there alone.  Best case was that it was a look -see, worst, no one would have heard anything or found me.  Good job it was daytime and I had a driver.

Number is  07599***060.

Needless to say he did not ring me as I drove off.