All from the last two weeks. Am I unimpressed? Very.

First one - phone number 075316961**. Made a booking for a half hour, turned up and said he wanted to extend to an hour. Hadn't got enough cash on him so went out to the cash machine, supposedly. Didn't come back and didn't respond to any texts or calls. Looked to be in his late 50s-early 60s, very short hair with a bald spot. Casually dressed.

Second one - phone number 078251386**. Got a phone call from a man early in the afternoon asking for an evening booking. A little while later he called back and asked if we could make it a booking for him and his wife for a threesome. Later still he texted me and asked if I could get my boyfriend involved (which is something I offer). So, I got my boyfriend to rush over that evening, I turned down other bookings for during that time, etc. Half an hour before he texted to say they were leaving, at the time the appointment was due to start he texted to say he was 'near the shops' and a bit lost. I sent him directions from my local shops at which point he said he was 'near the bingo hall'. There is no bingo hall near me. He then said he was outside in a white BMW - there wasn't anything like a white BMW near my house. After that he wouldn't respond to any texts or calls, after being half an hour late in the first place.

Third one was today, phone number 075232834**. Booked 2 hours a few days in advance, then shortened to 1 hour, then to a half hour. Annoying but I'm used to it. Texted a couple mins before we were due to start to say he'd changed his mind, I told him he owed me for time wasted (might as well give it a try, eh?) and he stopped responding to any texts or calls.