We?re only weeks away from launching a revolutionary new escort agency in London, strictly targeting upper middle and high class clientele. We?ve now initiated the recruitment process, whereby we hope to attract some of the finest girls London has to offer. That?s right, we?re looking for the fine, sophisticated, confident and social individuals - not the ?cheap? escorts the majority of new agencies are advertising - as if it?s something to be proud of.

Our strong business plan is reinforced though innovative strategy, guaranteed to attract a high number of clients, whilst improving the working conditions within an industry widely known for misconduct in that area. And let?s make one thing clear: you won?t be working FOR us - you?ll be working WITH us. We start by providing much higher commission rate than the other agencies, and treating you with the respect you deserve (even though that should be the norm, but unfortunately isn?t).

And instead of having to deal with amateurs, you?ll be working with a carefully selected team of professionals who appreciate the fact that most of the hard work is carried out by you, meaning you will be compensated accordingly. If you have worked with agencies in the past, you?ve probably been left disappointed countless times. Hence why we?re introducing a business where you?ll be able to benefit from all the positive things associated with working with an agency (such as high number of clients, security, professionalism), whilst avoiding all the negative aspects such as greed and disrespect.

You might be thinking that this is yet another typical escort business, and we understand your scepticism. But you couldn?t be more wrong! We?re in it for the long-term and we?re looking to actually change the way things are done in this industry, in order to benefit not only ourselves (as most agencies do) but also the girls and the clients. We are firm believers that harmony is key to any business, and existing agencies that are highly profit-orientated tarnish the name of the escort industry - please do not associate us with those!

We can go on and on about the potential benefits of working with us but that would take a while, so we?ve summarised a few of them:

* Free professional photoshoot for the first 5 to join, saving you hundreds of pounds
* High commission rates and great working conditions
* Upper middle and high class clientele and high number of evenly distributed jobs
* Working with a team of highly educated professionals
* Introductory bonus scheme for the first 10, and ongoing financial and non-financial incentives
* Recruitment will go in line with demand so you?ll never be left without work
* Competent drivers
* Flexible shifts
* Your opinion is important to us and will have a significant impact on decision-making

We are looking for girls with a very specific set of qualities. If you feel that you?d be a suitable candidate and satisfy the criteria below, we?re waiting for you to get in touch!

* Fun, social and outgoing individual, able to converse with a diverse range of customers
* Well-educated with a good level of spoken English
* Confident but also patient
* Good level of professionalism

Our bespoke website is nearing its completion and will be introduced in the coming days - we?ll post the link so you can find more information on there if you?re interested. But for now, if you?re happy with the terms and feel you have what it takes, please drop us an email with a brief description and some recent photographs of yourself. We?ll be in touch shortly after with a decision, and you?ll have the opportunity to ask any questions you might have.

Apply here: rl_recruitment@mail.com

We look forward to hearing from you!

- RL Recruitment Team

Perhaps they haven't registered it yet

I love the way they think "high commission rates" are good, and that the escorts do "most of the hard work"...

It'll be interesting to see how they have a "high number of evenly distributed jobs" too.

"strictly targeting upper middle and high class clientele."

Will you be advertising in Tatler babes?

ha ha, good one @fab

Just to spare anybody else, the TL;DR version is that some probably well meaning but clueless people who know nothing about how prostitution, punters or the sex industry work in the real world have decided they want a piece of it anyway. Their preparation (judging by the thread starter) involved looking at some agency websites and watching too many episodes of The Apprentice.

What happens next; they express surprise that their carefully-prepared, crowd pleasing opening gambit which they thought was telling us what we wanted to hear actually makes them look like incompetent tossers (including badmouthing their competition which is Page One of how to lose any credibility you had, not that this applies here) and deny being pimps or controlling prostitution for gain (and probably have no idea that what they are proposing is illegal). Likelihood of bollocks 'time and companionship' disclaimer or some drivel about them 'only facilitating meetings' being cited: High.

Somebody points out that if they don't actually want prostitutes they're on the wrong forum and hopefully somebody else reminds newbies not to ever send any photos or information which could identify them to random muppets on the internet.

The End.

We actually debated whether to post the ad before the website?s been made public, but it helps to get some feedback in the meantime so decided to go ahead with it.

Believe it or not, it?s actually not as difficult as you may think to target a service to a specific audience. That?s not to say that it guarantees a client base of rich, beautiful men with high moral values, but I?ve seen the typical customers attracted by agencies advertising services along the lines of ??80 cheapest escorts in London? - and it?s not a pleasant sight, as some of you might be aware.

It?s a combination of effective marketing (not at Wholefoods), solid pricing strategy, carefully targeted search engine optimisation and a high level of professionalism towards clients. Needless to say, drunk, half-conscious callers struggling to form a sentence will be ignored.

We welcome constructive criticism, and appreciate the fact that advertisers aren?t the most popular bunch on this forum. Nobody likes a spammer, and we don?t expect you to take our word for it, but hopefully in the near future we?ll be able to prove it to some of you through our actions.

Currently, the website is our key selling point so we do really want you to take a look at it. We realise we can?t be taken very seriously without a live site but once it?s published we really think you?d like it. Will post the link on here the second it hits the web.

Hi @Amy. Well meaning, yes. Clueless about the market - probably a safe assumption but I?d have to respectfully disagree. None of what?s written here is based on ?looking at some agency websites? but is in fact the result of primary research from experience within this particular industry. And I assure you, our knowledge of business and economics isn?t acquired through watching The Apprentice, and has more to do with further education and combined experience in a variety of industries such as web development, engineering, accounting and also manufacturing.

But have you ever sucked a cock for money? Do you have any idea what a good client sounds like on the phone, or what should set your spidey senses tingling that something is off about the guy? (It's more than being sober and coherent, I can tell you that.)

And that's just the client end of things. As for organising a bunch of women WHO ARE NOT YOUR EMPLOYEES and getting them to the clients in such a way as to gain a great reputation, I hope you have experience in herding cats.

None of what?s written here is based on ?looking at some agency websites? but is in fact the result of primary research from experience within this particular industry.

Ah, you're a punter.

And I assure you, our knowledge of business and economics isn?t acquired through watching The Apprentice, and has more to do with further education and combined experience in a variety of industries such as web development, engineering, accounting and also manufacturing.

If you were even reasonably competent in any of the fields you mention - none of which have anything to do with this - you'd be earning a good living working in them (and quite why you think repeatedly mentioning education is a mystery to me when we're talking about one of the comparatively few industries where it's neither necessary nor relevant), not suddenly deciding to take on a huge and diverse sector saturated with competition from all sides, virtually all of whom know more about it than you do. Why suddenly decide that pimping is the way forward?

The people here combined have hundreds of years of real industry experience behind them, and we've been sitting watching threads like this come and go since time immemorial; everybody and their dog thinks they can run an 'escort agency' and posts like yours are ten a penny right down to the solemn assurances of how 'different' you are. Even leaving aside the potential for prosecution, has it even occurred to you that there might be more to it than setting up a pretty website, convincing some hapless women (and if you're going after 'girls' you're breaking a few more laws) to employ you and then answering a few phone calls whilst you wait for the money to rain down from the sky?

And for God's sake, drop the patronising chumminess and the '@'s. This isn't Twatter, and if you're trying to convince intelligent adults to not only give you money, but potentially put their lives in your hands when you have already admitted you haven't got a clue what you're doing and sound like you've just left college, you're going to have to do better than that.

If I were actually considering employing an agency I'd want to know the following things:
- What cut do you take?
- How will you vet potential clients?
- How will you ensure my safety during a booking?
- Will I need my own incall place, or will you be outcalls only or offer both?
- Can I have my face blurred in my photos on the website?
And so far your posts have answered.. none of those questions