SAAFE forum
Adverts => Spamming in the Lion's Den => Topic started by: rl_london on 10 December 2014, 05:14:20 am
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We?re only weeks away from launching a revolutionary new escort agency in London, strictly targeting upper middle and high class clientele. We?ve now initiated the recruitment process, whereby we hope to attract some of the finest girls London has to offer. That?s right, we?re looking for the fine, sophisticated, confident and social individuals - not the ?cheap? escorts the majority of new agencies are advertising - as if it?s something to be proud of.
Our strong business plan is reinforced though innovative strategy, guaranteed to attract a high number of clients, whilst improving the working conditions within an industry widely known for misconduct in that area. And let?s make one thing clear: you won?t be working FOR us - you?ll be working WITH us. We start by providing much higher commission rate than the other agencies, and treating you with the respect you deserve (even though that should be the norm, but unfortunately isn?t).
And instead of having to deal with amateurs, you?ll be working with a carefully selected team of professionals who appreciate the fact that most of the hard work is carried out by you, meaning you will be compensated accordingly. If you have worked with agencies in the past, you?ve probably been left disappointed countless times. Hence why we?re introducing a business where you?ll be able to benefit from all the positive things associated with working with an agency (such as high number of clients, security, professionalism), whilst avoiding all the negative aspects such as greed and disrespect.
You might be thinking that this is yet another typical escort business, and we understand your scepticism. But you couldn?t be more wrong! We?re in it for the long-term and we?re looking to actually change the way things are done in this industry, in order to benefit not only ourselves (as most agencies do) but also the girls and the clients. We are firm believers that harmony is key to any business, and existing agencies that are highly profit-orientated tarnish the name of the escort industry - please do not associate us with those!
We can go on and on about the potential benefits of working with us but that would take a while, so we?ve summarised a few of them:
* Free professional photoshoot for the first 5 to join, saving you hundreds of pounds
* High commission rates and great working conditions
* Upper middle and high class clientele and high number of evenly distributed jobs
* Working with a team of highly educated professionals
* Introductory bonus scheme for the first 10, and ongoing financial and non-financial incentives
* Recruitment will go in line with demand so you?ll never be left without work
* Competent drivers
* Flexible shifts
* Your opinion is important to us and will have a significant impact on decision-making
We are looking for girls with a very specific set of qualities. If you feel that you?d be a suitable candidate and satisfy the criteria below, we?re waiting for you to get in touch!
* Fun, social and outgoing individual, able to converse with a diverse range of customers
* Well-educated with a good level of spoken English
* Confident but also patient
* Good level of professionalism
Our bespoke website is nearing its completion and will be introduced in the coming days - we?ll post the link so you can find more information on there if you?re interested. But for now, if you?re happy with the terms and feel you have what it takes, please drop us an email with a brief description and some recent photographs of yourself. We?ll be in touch shortly after with a decision, and you?ll have the opportunity to ask any questions you might have.
Apply here: rl_recruitment@mail.com
We look forward to hearing from you!
- RL Recruitment Team
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All that waffle and no web address.
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Perhaps they haven't registered it yet :)
I love the way they think "high commission rates" are good, and that the escorts do "most of the hard work"...
It'll be interesting to see how they have a "high number of evenly distributed jobs" too.
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My favourite bit (and it truly is an embarrassment of riches) is that they think pimping out women is something to be proud of just so long as you're charging more than the people up the road and their nasty, scuzzy prossies.
Oh, and only catering for the 'upper middle class' clientele, because as we all know they make much better customers ::). I wonder if there'll be an application form for the punters?
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"strictly targeting upper middle and high class clientele."
Will you be advertising in Tatler babes?
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"strictly targeting upper middle and high class clientele."
Will you be advertising in Tatler babes?
Naw. The Lady.
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ha ha, good one @fab
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Maybe they will put flyers up in Wholefoods ... just sayin' ;D
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Just to spare anybody else, the TL;DR version is that some probably well meaning but clueless people who know nothing about how prostitution, punters or the sex industry work in the real world have decided they want a piece of it anyway. Their preparation (judging by the thread starter) involved looking at some agency websites and watching too many episodes of The Apprentice.
What happens next; they express surprise that their carefully-prepared, crowd pleasing opening gambit which they thought was telling us what we wanted to hear actually makes them look like incompetent tossers (including badmouthing their competition which is Page One of how to lose any credibility you had, not that this applies here) and deny being pimps or controlling prostitution for gain (and probably have no idea that what they are proposing is illegal). Likelihood of bollocks 'time and companionship' disclaimer or some drivel about them 'only facilitating meetings' being cited: High.
Somebody points out that if they don't actually want prostitutes they're on the wrong forum and hopefully somebody else reminds newbies not to ever send any photos or information which could identify them to random muppets on the internet.
The End.
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We actually debated whether to post the ad before the website?s been made public, but it helps to get some feedback in the meantime so decided to go ahead with it.
Believe it or not, it?s actually not as difficult as you may think to target a service to a specific audience. That?s not to say that it guarantees a client base of rich, beautiful men with high moral values, but I?ve seen the typical customers attracted by agencies advertising services along the lines of ??80 cheapest escorts in London? - and it?s not a pleasant sight, as some of you might be aware.
It?s a combination of effective marketing (not at Wholefoods), solid pricing strategy, carefully targeted search engine optimisation and a high level of professionalism towards clients. Needless to say, drunk, half-conscious callers struggling to form a sentence will be ignored.
We welcome constructive criticism, and appreciate the fact that advertisers aren?t the most popular bunch on this forum. Nobody likes a spammer, and we don?t expect you to take our word for it, but hopefully in the near future we?ll be able to prove it to some of you through our actions.
Currently, the website is our key selling point so we do really want you to take a look at it. We realise we can?t be taken very seriously without a live site but once it?s published we really think you?d like it. Will post the link on here the second it hits the web.
Hi @Amy. Well meaning, yes. Clueless about the market - probably a safe assumption but I?d have to respectfully disagree. None of what?s written here is based on ?looking at some agency websites? but is in fact the result of primary research from experience within this particular industry. And I assure you, our knowledge of business and economics isn?t acquired through watching The Apprentice, and has more to do with further education and combined experience in a variety of industries such as web development, engineering, accounting and also manufacturing.
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We actually debated whether to post the ad before the website?s been made public, but it helps to get some feedback in the meantime so decided to go ahead with it.
Believe it or not, it?s actually not as difficult as you may think to target a service to a specific audience. That?s not to say that it guarantees a client base of rich, beautiful men with high moral values, but I?ve seen the typical customers attracted by agencies advertising services along the lines of ??80 cheapest escorts in London? - and it?s not a pleasant sight, as some of you might be aware.
It?s a combination of effective marketing (not at Wholefoods), solid pricing strategy, carefully targeted search engine optimisation and a high level of professionalism towards clients. Needless to say, drunk, half-conscious callers struggling to form a sentence will be ignored.
We welcome constructive criticism, and appreciate the fact that advertisers aren?t the most popular bunch on this forum. Nobody likes a spammer, and we don?t expect you to take our word for it, but hopefully in the near future we?ll be able to prove it to some of you through our actions.
Currently, the website is our key selling point so we do really want you to take a look at it. We realise we can?t be taken very seriously without a live site but once it?s published we really think you?d like it. Will post the link on here the second it hits the web.
Hi @Amy. Well meaning, yes. Clueless about the market - probably a safe assumption but I?d have to respectfully disagree. None of what?s written here is based on ?looking at some agency websites? but is in fact the result of primary research from experience within this particular industry. And I assure you, our knowledge of business and economics isn?t acquired through watching The Apprentice, and has more to do with further education and combined experience in a variety of industries such as web development, engineering, accounting and also manufacturing.
But have you ever sucked a cock for money? Do you have any idea what a good client sounds like on the phone, or what should set your spidey senses tingling that something is off about the guy? (It's more than being sober and coherent, I can tell you that.)
And that's just the client end of things. As for organising a bunch of women WHO ARE NOT YOUR EMPLOYEES and getting them to the clients in such a way as to gain a great reputation, I hope you have experience in herding cats.
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But have you ever sucked a cock for money? Do you have any idea what a good client sounds like on the phone, or what should set your spidey senses tingling that something is off about the guy? (It's more than being sober and coherent, I can tell you that.)
And that's just the client end of things. As for organising a bunch of women WHO ARE NOT YOUR EMPLOYEES and getting them to the clients in such a way as to gain a great reputation, I hope you have experience in herding cats.
Totally agree that it's much more than being sober and coherent, and we're not suggesting that clients will go through some elaborate selection process as you can never know for sure, but it certainly will help to some extent in reducing the 'bad apples' (for lack of a better word) that girls have to deal with each night.
Love the cat herding analogy, btw!
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None of what?s written here is based on ?looking at some agency websites? but is in fact the result of primary research from experience within this particular industry.
Ah, you're a punter.
And I assure you, our knowledge of business and economics isn?t acquired through watching The Apprentice, and has more to do with further education and combined experience in a variety of industries such as web development, engineering, accounting and also manufacturing.
If you were even reasonably competent in any of the fields you mention - none of which have anything to do with this - you'd be earning a good living working in them (and quite why you think repeatedly mentioning education is a mystery to me when we're talking about one of the comparatively few industries where it's neither necessary nor relevant), not suddenly deciding to take on a huge and diverse sector saturated with competition from all sides, virtually all of whom know more about it than you do. Why suddenly decide that pimping is the way forward?
The people here combined have hundreds of years of real industry experience behind them, and we've been sitting watching threads like this come and go since time immemorial; everybody and their dog thinks they can run an 'escort agency' and posts like yours are ten a penny right down to the solemn assurances of how 'different' you are. Even leaving aside the potential for prosecution, has it even occurred to you that there might be more to it than setting up a pretty website, convincing some hapless women (and if you're going after 'girls' you're breaking a few more laws) to employ you and then answering a few phone calls whilst you wait for the money to rain down from the sky?
And for God's sake, drop the patronising chumminess and the '@'s. This isn't Twatter, and if you're trying to convince intelligent adults to not only give you money, but potentially put their lives in your hands when you have already admitted you haven't got a clue what you're doing and sound like you've just left college, you're going to have to do better than that.
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By girls you mean women, right?
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If I were actually considering employing an agency I'd want to know the following things:
- What cut do you take?
- How will you vet potential clients?
- How will you ensure my safety during a booking?
- Will I need my own incall place, or will you be outcalls only or offer both?
- Can I have my face blurred in my photos on the website?
And so far your posts have answered.. none of those questions ::)
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If I were actually considering employing an agency I'd want to know the following things:
- What cut do you take?
- How will you vet potential clients?
- How will you ensure my safety during a booking?
- Will I need my own incall place, or will you be outcalls only or offer both?
- Can I have my face blurred in my photos on the website?
And so far your posts have answered.. none of those questions ::)
+1
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None of what?s written here is based on ?looking at some agency websites? but is in fact the result of primary research from experience within this particular industry.
Ah, you're a punter.
And I assure you, our knowledge of business and economics isn?t acquired through watching The Apprentice, and has more to do with further education and combined experience in a variety of industries such as web development, engineering, accounting and also manufacturing.
If you were even reasonably competent in any of the fields you mention - none of which have anything to do with this - you'd be earning a good living working in them (and quite why you think repeatedly mentioning education is a mystery to me when we're talking about one of the comparatively few industries where it's neither necessary nor relevant), not suddenly deciding to take on a huge and diverse sector saturated with competition from all sides, virtually all of whom know more about it than you do. Why suddenly decide that pimping is the way forward?
The people here combined have hundreds of years of real industry experience behind them, and we've been sitting watching threads like this come and go since time immemorial; everybody and their dog thinks they can run an 'escort agency' and posts like yours are ten a penny right down to the solemn assurances of how 'different' you are. Even leaving aside the potential for prosecution, has it even occurred to you that there might be more to it than setting up a pretty website, convincing some hapless women (and if you're going after 'girls' you're breaking a few more laws) to employ you and then answering a few phone calls whilst you wait for the money to rain down from the sky?
And for God's sake, drop the patronising chumminess and the '@'s. This isn't Twatter, and if you're trying to convince intelligent adults to not only give you money, but potentially put their lives in your hands when you have already admitted you haven't got a clue what you're doing and sound like you've just left college, you're going to have to do better than that.
If I were actually considering employing an agency I'd want to know the following things:
- What cut do you take?
- How will you vet potential clients?
- How will you ensure my safety during a booking?
- Will I need my own incall place, or will you be outcalls only or offer both?
- Can I have my face blurred in my photos on the website?
And so far your posts have answered.. none of those questions ::)
I naively fell for it and sent them an email and they promptly and kindly responded but yes as you say , it sounds like a man may be behind this. They asked me to send some pictures and information about myself to which I responded that I'd rather wait for their website to be up and running but in the meantime they could look at my AW profile.
I sent them a link to my profile and surprise surprise,'they' /he haven't(hasn't) responded...
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Ah, you're a punter.
If you were even reasonably competent in any of the fields you mention - none of which have anything to do with this - you'd be earning a good living working in them (and quite why you think repeatedly mentioning education is a mystery to me when we're talking about one of the comparatively few industries where it's neither necessary nor relevant), not suddenly deciding to take on a huge and diverse sector saturated with competition from all sides, virtually all of whom know more about it than you do. Why suddenly decide that pimping is the way forward?
The people here combined have hundreds of years of real industry experience behind them, and we've been sitting watching threads like this come and go since time immemorial; everybody and their dog thinks they can run an 'escort agency' and posts like yours are ten a penny right down to the solemn assurances of how 'different' you are. Even leaving aside the potential for prosecution, has it even occurred to you that there might be more to it than setting up a pretty website, convincing some hapless women (and if you're going after 'girls' you're breaking a few more laws) to employ you and then answering a few phone calls whilst you wait for the money to rain down from the sky?
And for God's sake, drop the patronising chumminess and the '@'s. This isn't Twatter, and if you're trying to convince intelligent adults to not only give you money, but potentially put their lives in your hands when you have already admitted you haven't got a clue what you're doing and sound like you've just left college, you're going to have to do better than that.
Not a punter.
Maybe not relevant to the ad but sure holds some relevance to your assumption that The Apprentice is our source of knowledge. And you can't seriously claim that education and professionalism have no bearing on this industry? It might follow a more unusual business plan but it's a business nonetheless.
Wasn't patronising you but merely addressing your response. But why you would (indirectly) suggest that we're going after underage girls, for using the word 'girl' as opposed to 'woman' is beyond me.
".. already admitted you haven't got a clue what you're doing". No, you just made that up. And we don't disagree with you, but we certainly are aware that there's more to it than a good website and answering the phone. Although we never suggested otherwise.
And just out of curiosity, what's an appropriate/acceptable ad for an escort agency in your opinion? I mean, I get the fact that it's generally frowned upon and they all get quite heavily scrutinised. Correct me if I'm wrong but we've adhered to all the rules for posting (point taken about badmouthing competition, although no particular agencies were mentioned).
Anyway, it's hardly my intention to sit behind a computer and argue an in-exhaustive discussion. But sincerely, thank you - some of your comments are genuinely quite thought-provoking (not patronising you).
If I were actually considering employing an agency I'd want to know the following things:
- What cut do you take?
- How will you vet potential clients?
- How will you ensure my safety during a booking?
- Will I need my own incall place, or will you be outcalls only or offer both?
- Can I have my face blurred in my photos on the website?
And so far your posts have answered.. none of those questions
All valid questions, and I'll address them one by one.
1. What cut do you take?
For argument sake, let's assume an hourly fee of ?100.
First job: escort takes 65%, i.e. ?65
Second job: escort takes 60%, i.e. ?60
Third job: escort takes 50%, i.e. ?50
Fourth job: escort takes 50%, i.e. ?50
Fifth job: escort takes 55%, i.e. ?55
This will vary in the first month or so, as we have plans for an introductory bonus scheme, so potential earnings could be much higher.
However, please understand that we're wary of how much information we disclose on a public forum, with unrestricted access to virtually anybody. That's not to say that we're withholding this information, but we would prefer to communicate any further details through a more private platform such as email or telephone.
2. How will you vet potential clients?
Screening potential clients is a tricky task, and almost impossible to verify the identity of a caller, nor their intentions. Like Fabulassie said, there's a lot more to it than being sober and coherent, but having a conversation with a potential client would give at least give some sort of indication whether this person might be a troublemaker. We're NOT going to send you on job where we feel your safety might be jeopardised.
3. How will you ensure my safety during a booking?
Escorts would be required to notify us of safe arrival and most importantly of their departure from a client's address. In an event where we fail to verify your safety, we will not hesitate to establish immediate contact with the police.
Of course, your driver will be present outside the property at all times as an additional safety measure, and if at any point you feel endangered, or simply uncomfortable you may ask them to escort you (pun unintended) back to the car, and away from the address.
4. Will I need my own infall place, or will you be outcalls only or offer both?
Our initial plans are for an outcall-only service.
5. Can I have my face blurred in my photos on the website?
Absolutely - we wouldn't expect otherwise. Every escort's face will be blurred for the sake of privacy.
I naively fell for it and sent them an email and they promptly and kindly responded but yes as you say , it sounds like a man may be behind this. They asked me to send some pictures and information about myself to which I responded that I'd rather wait for their website to be up and running but in the meantime they could look at my AW profile.
I sent them a link to my profile and surprise surprise,'they' /he haven't(hasn't) responded...
Not sure If I understand correctly, but are you suggesting that this is all some elaborate scheme to get girls to send us photographs? I'm sorry but that's absurd and I won't even entertain this bizarre hypothesis.
In regards to not having responded to your email yet, we've received a number of enquiries and are dealing with them as quickly as we can, whilst also concentrating substantial efforts on finalising the website.
Your AW profile is more than sufficient for the time being and we'll be in touch in a few days once the website is live.
Thank you.
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Hi thanks I did receive your email.
So your cut would increase by 5% each job ?! Down to 50 % ?! Then back up again ? Why ?
So if my initial rate is at ?200 ,at one point I'd end up working for ?100 /hour ? :o :-\
Surely it should be the other way around if you want to create an incentive for girls to keep on working with you.
This is a part that I also find worrying:
"Of course, your driver will be present outside the property at all times as an additional safety measure, and if at any point you feel endangered, or simply uncomfortable you may ask them to escort you (pun unintended) back to the car, and away from the address."
Please correct me if I misunderstood you but surely if I'm truly endangered by a punter, he's not going to willfully let me out of the room is he, let alone go to the car? :/
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Fucking hell, those commission rates are shocking. I thought you said that your commission rates for the escorts were high? Didn't know these are standard rates.
I get some work from an agency and they charge a flat rate of 20%. That is for the gay escorts and for the women.
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Fucking hell, those commission rates are shocking. I thought you said that your commission rates for the escorts were high? Didn't know these are standard rates.
I get some work from an agency and they charge a flat rate of 20%. That is for the gay escorts and for the women.
Wow ! :o
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Wasn't patronising you but merely addressing your response. But why you would (indirectly) suggest that we're going after underage girls, for using the word 'girl' as opposed to 'woman' is beyond me.
Let me tell you why. You repeatedly use the word 'girls' in your initial post. Simple!
To describe a sex worker as a girl is dismissive, rude, condescending and patronising. Its whorephobic and contributes to the stigma of sex work. Do you describe clients as boys? No, I did not think so but you are more than happy to describe women as girls. Given you intend to profiteer from these 'girls' you refer too, perhaps you might want to consider using less derogatory and misogynistic terms.
So I will be clear, avoid confusion so what I am saying is not beyond you to comprehend. The term girl is used to describe a female child although childhood to adolescence and then, what a surprise she becomes a woman.
The use of the word girls implies you are employing children (see aforementioned definition if you don't get it) or you think female sex workers need to be treated like children.
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...50% is a lot to take. An agency with no site, run by a man that takes more commission than the other agencies- I don't see how you could possibly claim to be any better than the competition out there.
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This is hilarious! 50% commission? For what? You must be having a life!
Stick to indie I say.
They don't have a clue.
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Fucking hell, those commission rates are shocking. I thought you said that your commission rates for the escorts were high? Didn't know these are standard rates.
I get some work from an agency and they charge a flat rate of 20%. That is for the gay escorts and for the women.
Just to clear up. I pay the agency 20% of my rate and I keep 80%. I wouldn't be listing with them if it was any more.
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Not a punter.
So, out of curiosity, what else does..
experience within this particular industry
..mean?
And just out of curiosity, what's an appropriate/acceptable ad for an escort agency in your opinion?
The ones that don't get this sort of response are those that show some Clue, preferably from one that's been up and running for a while. Most of those without Clue don't last that long, as I suspect you will discover because...
1. What cut do you take?
For argument sake, let's assume an hourly fee of ?100.
First job: escort takes 65%, i.e. ?65
Second job: escort takes 60%, i.e. ?60
Third job: escort takes 50%, i.e. ?50
Fourth job: escort takes 50%, i.e. ?50
Fifth job: escort takes 55%, i.e. ?55
.. this has to be the least Clue-ful idea here since the guy who wanted female clients to sign a contract saying they agreed to have sex with him within a couple of minutes of opening the door.
Not sure If I understand correctly, but are you suggesting that this is all some elaborate scheme to get girls to send us photographs? I'm sorry but that's absurd and I won't even entertain this bizarre hypothesis.
And if you don't realise that it isn't absurd, it's more evidence of the level of experience and Clue. There are many others, but I suspect we're approaching the limit of free advice.
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For argument sake, let's assume an hourly fee of ?100.
First job: escort takes 65%, i.e. ?65
Second job: escort takes 60%, i.e. ?60
Third job: escort takes 50%, i.e. ?50
Fourth job: escort takes 50%, i.e. ?50
Fifth job: escort takes 55%, i.e. ?55
I'd be interested to know the rationale behind this very peculiar commission structure ???
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? Ridiculous commission rates!
? Who pays for the driver and the car?
? We are women not girls who legally work in this industry.
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we will not hesitate to establish immediate contact with the police.
So you willingly place yourself on their radar. :FF
No disrespect intended, but from reading your initial forum post, you appear to have no experience. That lack of experience will guarantee a spot at Wandsworth for a couple of years.
From personal experience I would steer clear of operating an escort agency. You will need a big wallet for solicitors fees.
There are many other lucrative avenues within the adult industry.
An escort agency is the most risky.
Consider changing your website into a directory before the cops arrive.
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2. How will you vet potential clients?
Screening potential clients is a tricky task, and almost impossible to verify the identity of a caller, nor their intentions. Like Fabulassie said, there's a lot more to it than being sober and coherent, but having a conversation with a potential client would give at least give some sort of indication whether this person might be a troublemaker. We're NOT going to send you on job where we feel your safety might be jeopardised.
3. How will you ensure my safety during a booking?
Escorts would be required to notify us of safe arrival and most importantly of their departure from a client's address. In an event where we fail to verify your safety, we will not hesitate to establish immediate contact with the police.
Of course, your driver will be present outside the property at all times as an additional safety measure, and if at any point you feel endangered, or simply uncomfortable you may ask them to escort you (pun unintended) back to the car, and away from the address.
Thanks for actually answering those questions.. but all they establish is that you are just like every other escort agency in that you propose taking an extortionate amount of earnings and don't have a clue how to vet clients. You can't just speak to someone on the phone to try and get a feel for them.
Also most of the agencies who have drivers tend to work on a shift basis, so an escort will work a whole evening as opposed to taking bookings arranged in advance. Is that what you intend to do? Have an escort sat in a car with a driver for an evening going back and forth to bookings? I'm only asking because the first agency I employed did that and I didn't get to shower or even freshen up between clients and spent hours sat in a car until 5am with a strange man I didn't know.
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What value are you going to offer escorts? We are all capable of putting up a profile on Adultwork and going on outcalls to men we've screened for ourselves.
What are you offering that we can't do for ourselves to justify any sort of "cut" from our takings?
I know women who are happy to work in massage parlours (brothels) or with agencies that have an incall flat to use because finding a premises to work in can be difficult. But you're not even providing that.
Some outcall agencies have a good enough web presence that they can actually get bookings from men who don't know how to find Adultwork. I suppose some of them even manage to convince punters that they have super-duper extra special girls not available via other means. Maybe you'll somehow manage to shoulder your way into that crowd (and get the Google rankings to compete with them) but good luck with that.
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Apologies, would love to address all responses individually - we will get to them eventually but admittedly this forum perhaps wasn't the most suitable place for this ad. As of now, we more or less have enough applicants to begin with, so more of our attention will now be focused on SEO and marketing. Thank you for your feedback.
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The LOLZ'S
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Apologies, would love to address all responses individually - we will get to them eventually but admittedly this forum perhaps wasn't the most suitable place for this ad. As of now, we more or less have enough applicants to begin with, so more of our attention will now be focused on SEO and marketing. Thank you for your feedback.
Actually it was the perfect place, but not for the reasons you'll have thought.
A board full of the people you're aiming your service at who will offer their time for free to give you constructive feedback and point out all the stupid mistakes and offensive assumptions you're making is something you're not going to come across every day, but it's certainly not a place where you're going to get told exactly what you want to hear.
We didn't expect any less than the kind of banal fluff you've posted above, but if you want to save face on here, remember that the people posting know more about this job than you ever can, or ever will. The remark above about focussing on SEO and marketing rather than the issues of safety, fair practice or practicalities raised here says it all, really.
As Ian says, the free advice is falling on deaf ears anyway, so I'm out.