Yes as GC said there are a few noticeable spelling mistakes.
Also the part where you are telling what to do is off putting as that is your personal opinion and not what everyone will want.
For example saying to get a manicure and pedicure and to shave/wax, there are women out there who aren't into manicures and fake nails and prefer to just keep their nails short and clean and then there are those who will prefer to be completely natural in regards to their body hair.
After all the photo's are meant to be about the client and having someone dolled up like Katie Price isn't much good if there persona is more Kate Middleton type.
Also the fact that you don't seem to have a gallery of any previous work is off putting as well.