Email: Ben.*********@protonmail.com

Best case this guy is an elaborate timewaster but worst one is a real obsessed boundary pusher. He started out fine except for the title of his email, in which called me a slut. He said was looking for submissive services and for a woman who likes to do "dirty sex", hence the title of his email. I explained to him that it was not okay and he sent a new one with a more neutral title and apologized profusely. Since he stated that he's new to the scene I let it pass and understood it as a rookie mistake. Now I do believe the guy is no rookie at all.

Short version: Wanted to meet soon and I told him I can't work due to Covid and my household being high risk. He kept insisting and offering to take all the necessary precautions, testing every single day ten days before the date, disinfecting everything, etc. Was also willing to make a deposit and provide full screening info although I never got any of this because I fired him later so not sure if it's one of his power plays and could just be a timewaster. I kept telling him no and he got obsessed and started trying to manipulate me into forgiving and seeing him. Sends multiple constant emails and it's overwhelming. Has intentions of pushing your boundaries on the date (says so directly).


Long version: This guy is an expert manipulator who plays the gentleman card exquisitely well. He says sorry and tries to fix anything that bothers you, even a small thing. At first goes out of his way to accommodate you while he keeps telling you how intelligent he thinks you are, apart from the obvious physical appearance flattering. He writes it in a way that sounds like if the guy has done his research pretty well and has paid attention, so can easily come out as a genuinely interested respectful client. Later when re-reading I realized that all this was written in a way that could fit to anyone while appearing as if it was specifically for you.

His story is that he usually goes to clubs but with Covid he can't meet people so he's looking for escorts now. He says he's a dom and looks for a submissive woman who really enjoys submissiveness. When I asked him about discussing limits he said that he couldn't say "anything specific" and was more about the ambience and mental domination. I told him I'm a beginner at submissiveness and that while I do enjoy fantasizing with many things I still don't want to do them in real life, much less with a stranger. He replies that he knows "what my problem is" and "how he can fix it". The guy proposes to "take me under his wing" in a dom/sub relationship. I freak out a bit and deflect this one saying I'm not interested in that but happy to provide sub services with clear limits in a normal session. Now I understand that he is not capable of defining limits because he expects you to not have any and that he will be able to wear down any you try to have.

Looks like he's extremely excited about meeting all the time. Although there's no detailing or fantasizing (even when I asked him about specific practices/limits) you can get the vibe that the guy is *too excited* after a while.

I told him that due to my household being high risk I'm not meeting people until it's safe to go back again. He goes out of his way offering to make it the safest possible. Daily testing and showing them to me, disinfection everywhere, all safe. Keeps begging for me to reconsider and I tell him I'll think about it but chances are low. While I'm having dinner and giving it a thought I get another email from him stating how he is so eagerly expecting me to say yes so we can "spend 2 or 3 days together at his house" without getting out (due to covid, of course *ahem*) so he can "help me overcome that problem" I seemingly have by "pushing my boundaries" (verbatim) so I can give in to my fantasies. At this stage he makes a comment here and there about how much *I* need to have my sexual needs met and how he's the perfect one to help me. This guy is constantly projecting and expecting you to believe what he says, not what he shows. Keeps repeating how he is a gentleman who absolutely respects boundaries and understands a no very well, while at the same time keeps pushing for a yes even after you say no to the same thing several times. Doesn't push aggressively, but rather nicely and making it look like you would be doing a huge favour to a poor respectful gentleman in need who will treat you perfectly. Bullshit.

I told him I wasn't comfortable anymore and for him to please look somewhere else and he started the guilt-tripping. How embarrased I made him feel, how much he is not "what I interpreted" and how terribly, incredibly sorry he feels. He tries to make me feel guilty for subtly calling him out and for me to forgive him. In the same email he insists on me not only giving him another chance, but of course that chance implies seeing him soon, as he wanted. Told me that he would "prove me" that he's worth it by taking a covid test every single day not realizing that covid was not the problem anymore. Asked him to please leave me alone.

Got another email this morning on him again trying to manipulate me and saying that last night he had a "fever" and said things that weren't okay, how sorry he is again and for me to give him another chance and of course... reconsider meeting soon! For someone who claims not having a problem with being told no he seriously has a big fat one. I really hope this guy is just a timewaster and not a real client because hell this one could be very dangerous in a session and even more so in a BDSM one.


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