Hi ladies and gentlemen,

I am in a bit of a weird situation with a client turned "friend" and I guess I already know the answer but just hope to hear the advice of other SPs who maybe have gone through a similar thing.

So I have this client who started seeing me regularly and this is partially my fault and stupidity because he told me he felt a "connection" and I've been over to his place. So he doesn't make "enough money" to be one of those guys who pays to see a girl exclusively or regularly, and he is a single man in his mid 40s who isn't married or etc. (not sure the story didn't want to cross any boundaries by asking), basically a middle class guy who makes enough but seems kinda lonely.

So long story short, we saw each other long enough that I did get comfortable with him in a way and we did have really good sex, I felt kind of bad for him being in his situation so somehow we became "friends with benefits". The only thing is he knows nothing about me personally due to being careful who you trust while being in this business, and now I'm wondering if I made a stupid mistake. I got a review recently here on the review board where I am located in Canada, and some guy anonymously made a rude comment below the other client saying "of course she will have you back she only wants your money". I can't certainly say this is the same guy who is my "f*ck buddy", but now I'm wondering if throughout all these times and trials he is slowly trying to manipulate me, and I just can't risk this whole thing because I am scared now if maybe this could potentially ruin my business and name as a brand or cause some sort of hindrance to it.

Anyways, I hope this all makes sense it all just seems unnecessary and confusing in my head. Has anyone been through a similar situation or any thoughts on this? Am I being crazy, once again?

Thank you so much!

I've done it with one client. He was one of my first, saw me a lot over 2-3 months, and then became a fuckbuddy quite quickly. Honestly, I would never recommend it, but it works for me/us. He's good company and makes me laugh (and he's fit as...) I was a bit sceptical at first that once he'd stopped paying he disappear but we've been seeing each other for 3.5 years! However, I think our success is based on it being totally no strings, which is a mutual desire, and not meeting up more than about once every 3-4 weeks on average.

As it is, I'm moving 200 miles away, which will effectively end it.

All I would say is that it needs to be completely 50:50, i.e. you get as much out of the arrangement as him. In my case, I just like having civvy sex occasionally (including a very strong hug).

I think the fact that he didn't straight up propose a different arrangement, but instead just let the money lapse/relied on your good nature is a red flag.

I had a client turn into a friend didn't pay for my time (no sex though) and it ended badly. Including a negative review on a review site.

Boundaries have certainly been crossed, not so much by him as by you.

What's in it for him is obvious: apart from the free sex delivered to his doorstep, no strings attached, it's a huge ego boost for a man to get it for free from a sexworker, particularly for a middle aged single guy, without much of a career or a satisfying private life. No mystery what his motivation is. Your attentions must make him feel fantastic.

What I can't work out is what's in it for you?

Done this myself but the jealousy kicked in when I saw the family Facebook photos then found out that at least one was paying other escorts anyway. Never again.

I would only ever consider this if you really really liked the guy and you would date him in 'real life' had you not met him via escorting. The way you've put it it doesn't sound like you do and more like you did it out of pity? It sounds like he's taking the piss with all those excuses really. You're not a charity and I think you should ditch him ASAP.

I almost got into a situation like this and then I cut ties because I realised I didn't like him.

I would play the "I'd love to, Darling, but I'm really broke at the moment, and I have to work" card. Do that until he suggests he start paying again. If he doesn't, at least it was his decision, and he won't feel so pissed off. Alternatively try the, OMG, I'm soooo busy, I'd love to, but I just can't seem to find the time. When up against it, the "my period is late", or the "I wonder what that weird green discharge means" strategy?

Doesn't really matter, so long as you engineer him ditching you, not you rejecting him and him getting pissy. The fact that you fear a bad review means you already know deep down that he's NOT a friend, and the problem goes beyond not getting paid. You don't trust him, AND you're wasting your time. Since you seem to already worry a bit about aspects of his personality, how long is the sex going to feel good? I know great sex is addictive - been there. 

All else fails, ring him up at 2 in the morning, in a fake panic, and tell him your violent ex has just been discharged from jail, and is pacing up and down in front of the house, looking furious. Would he mind coming over and sorting him out i.e. tell him that he's your boyfriend and protector now. Bet you'll never hear from him again.   

What a great opportunity for honing your acting skills.

I would only ever consider this if you really really liked the guy and you would date him in 'real life' had you not met him via escorting. The way you've put it it doesn't sound like you do and more like you did it out of pity? It sounds like he's taking the piss with all those excuses really. You're not a charity and I think you should ditch him ASAP.

I almost got into a situation like this and then I cut ties because I realised I didn't like him.

This!! This is a pity fuck. The only thing you are getting out of it really is some sort of warm glow for being charitable and caring. Trust me there are much more worthy causes out there!
I have a best friend who started as a client. In real life though he isn't my type sexually so I told him if we are to be real life friends the sex stops. He has been my best friend for 6 years now. Been there for me through the worst times. I honestly thought he would have disappeared when the sex stopped but he didn't. Best thing that has ever happened to me whilst escorting!