Author Topic: Would you start seeing a client regularly as a "f*ck buddy"? (Read 5031 times)

VoluptuousCurves · « **Reply #15 on:** 14 April 2018, 11:03:43 am »

Quote from: Kay on 14 April 2018, 01:51:51 am

I've done it with one client. He was one of my first, saw me a lot over 2-3 months, and then became a fuckbuddy quite quickly. Honestly, I would never recommend it, but it works for me/us. He's good company and makes me laugh (and he's fit as...) I was a bit sceptical at first that once he'd stopped paying he disappear but we've been seeing each other for 3.5 years! However, I think our success is based on it being totally no strings, which is a mutual desire, and not meeting up more than about once every 3-4 weeks on average.

As it is, I'm moving 200 miles away, which will effectively end it.

All I would say is that it needs to be completely 50:50, i.e. you get as much out of the arrangement as him. In my case, I just like having civvy sex occasionally (including a very strong hug).

Wow, my situation with my BF is almost identical, bar the time length - we're just coming up on 2 years.

I moved 200 miles away last April and we still manage to see each other once a month or so when I tour in or near London.

OP I think you've realised that you made a mistake, and I think throwing someone a pity fuck is always going to be a mistake.

I would go along with Sourgrapes's suggestion about just saying you're skint and need to work.

ana30 · « **Reply #16 on:** 14 April 2018, 11:15:25 am »

Quote from: sourgrapes on 14 April 2018, 10:07:39 am

I would play the "I'd love to, Darling, but I'm really broke at the moment, and I have to work" card. Do that until he suggests he start paying again. If he doesn't, at least it was his decision, and he won't feel so pissed off. Alternatively try the, OMG, I'm soooo busy, I'd love to, but I just can't seem to find the time.

Doesn't really matter, so long as you engineer him ditching you, not you rejecting him and him getting pissy. The fact that you fear a bad review means you already know deep down that he's NOT a friend, and the problem goes beyond not getting paid. You don't trust him, AND you're wasting your time. Since you seem to already worry a bit about aspects of his personality, how long is the sex going to feel good? I know great sex is addictive - been there.

That. Literally. i believe that in a moment of weakness you let yourself slip into a situation that you're regretting. If you want to get into a relationship with this guy have a chat and talk about it, if not then you need to stop giving him the goodies for free because you feel sorry for him. Nay.

DaisyDuck · « **Reply #17 on:** 14 April 2018, 12:23:30 pm »

I would give up on the idea of him ever paying you again. Even if he does, you'll still be entangled with him and it will still eventually turn sour.

As a previous poster said, you want him to become bored of you and drop you.

Don't tell him that a bad review has hurt you: that will only give him the idea that this will hurt you. He may write another one.

Things to do to be boring:

Invent something that will occupy your time and be boring for him. Invent a relative with a terrible illness. You'll be too busy nursing them to see him, but you won't be too busy to text him all the time and moan on his shoulder. Taking the relative for a colonoscopy would be a great example of something to moan about. Especially when you update with the results of the procedure.

Send him a ton of stupid shit like memes. The crappest Minion memes and the most imbecilic inspirational quotes.

Call him at 2am sobbing hysterically.

He may try something like proposing to treat you to a pampering massage and home-cooked meal. You can let him schedule it then cancel with yet another medical emergency. Time for inspirational quotes again!

He'll get bored quick.

Rosesugar · « **Reply #18 on:** 14 April 2018, 12:27:00 pm »

Quote from: sourgrapes on 14 April 2018, 10:07:39 am

I would play the "I'd love to, Darling, but I'm really broke at the moment, and I have to work" card. Do that until he suggests he start paying again. If he doesn't, at least it was his decision, and he won't feel so pissed off. Alternatively try the, OMG, I'm soooo busy, I'd love to, but I just can't seem to find the time. When up against it, the "my period is late", or the "I wonder what that weird green discharge means" strategy?

Doesn't really matter, so long as you engineer him ditching you, not you rejecting him and him getting pissy. The fact that you fear a bad review means you already know deep down that he's NOT a friend, and the problem goes beyond not getting paid. You don't trust him, AND you're wasting your time. Since you seem to already worry a bit about aspects of his personality, how long is the sex going to feel good? I know great sex is addictive - been there.

All else fails, ring him up at 2 in the morning, in a fake panic, and tell him your violent ex has just been discharged from jail, and is pacing up and down in front of the house, looking furious. Would he mind coming over and sorting him out i.e. tell him that he's your boyfriend and protector now. Bet you'll never hear from him again.

What a great opportunity for honing your acting skills.

Damn good advice

Dynamite Doll · « **Reply #19 on:** 14 April 2018, 12:29:56 pm »

I liked the idea of - I am busy or have a booking to attend and I can't refuse paid work as I have my rent and bills to pay. I will always say that till the fool gets the hint. Or if he eventually tries to pay if he really wants to see you and enjoy the sex that you two have. Otherwise I carry on with the I am booked on that date or time etc. If he tries to tell you to let go of booking or client I say - No worries if your going to compensate me for the loss of earnings.

Lillys0 · « **Reply #20 on:** 14 April 2018, 01:29:54 pm »

I've been having an affair with a married client, now it's gone way past escorting he knows my real name etc been to my house me to his chatting on the phone he did say he wanted to see escorts for no strings he didn't expect to fall for someone , but I'm starting to fall for him majorly even though no relationship can happen as he's married and the age gap is too big. I want to break it off but I'm deliriously happy at the minute I hope it will pass.

ana30 · « **Reply #21 on:** 14 April 2018, 01:57:37 pm »

Quote from: Lillys0 on 14 April 2018, 01:29:54 pm

I've been having an affair with a married client, now it's gone way past escorting he knows my real name etc been to my house me to his chatting on the phone he did say he wanted to see escorts for no strings he didn't expect to fall for someone , but I'm starting to fall for him majorly even though no relationship can happen as he's married and the age gap is too big. I want to break it off but I'm deliriously happy at the minute I hope it will pass.

No need to break with him, jusy continue charging him and enjoy your job

jellib33 · « **Reply #22 on:** 14 April 2018, 03:32:51 pm »

Oh ok, yeah

I think I will go with something like telling him about a family member with a terminal illness, just tell him I'm busy, I need to remember right I have all the control in the situation and don't need to see him... yeah he is no good in a way that he is trying to trick me but his manipulation tactics are weak! But most importantly why am I buying into it then that's a

on me and a bad business move lol.

Sometimes I just wonder how i get in these situations.. once again so happy I found saafe, it has been a life saver in many cases!

VoluptuousCurves · « **Reply #23 on:** 14 April 2018, 04:12:36 pm »

If you have problems setting and keeping boundaries, I strongly suggest reading "Assertiveness and You: A Woman in your Own Right" by Anne Dickson. It's available really cheaply on Amazon for either a used paperback or Kindle version.

sourgrapes · « **Reply #24 on:** 14 April 2018, 04:23:21 pm »

I think we all get into these situations from time to time. Who doesn't want to feel desired, loved or accepted? I know I do. I just don't want to be the one picking up the entire bill for it, and then have to worry about the consequences when I end the arrangement as soon as the law of diminishing returns kicks in. Also, good sex does addle the brain. Trouble is, women produce way more oxytocin than men, while men are more ego led.

Whatever you decide, whenever you're ready, it's safest if the decision to end it is his. You'll figure out how, don't worry.

He may surprise you and be totally understanding when you tell him you're having to concentrate on paying off that huge stack of bills on the fridge. Not sure I would invent a terminally ill relative - fate has a hideous way of tripping one up. Not that I'm superstitious, noooo, not at all.

elainegirl · « **Reply #25 on:** 14 April 2018, 04:47:17 pm »

About 7 years ago a client toured fu*k buddy i was going through a rough patch and someone he became a fu*k buddy. I was as Horney as hell all the time and he was great he would do anything sexually for me. I learned how to enjoy anal from him. I could talk at ease with him. It lasted sex months. I had no feelings for him whatsoever. I vaguelly remember why it ended.

Never would I get involved if i thought i would develop feeling for someone.

Just be careful. Each situation is different and i would never do it again.

jellib33 · « **Reply #26 on:** 14 April 2018, 09:18:25 pm »

For the ones who have done this, I was just wondering did you ever feel guilty for somehow making this one client not pay while all the other ones who see you do? I don't know why but now I also feel guilty, which is really weird because we all just talked about how I shouldn't? Either way, yes this situation is really stressing me out! It's making me really paranoid about trusting him, especially you're right as it was mentioned here that it's kind of a rude thing to do, to just suddenly stop paying........ But yet somehow I seem to be cool with it, and that's honestly the worst part lol. Yeah I think I will have to do this when I'm ready, which I feel it coming... I don't think I can wait too long just incase he writes a bad review, I think I might have to back myself up with saying I'm busy... But when the time comes, keep it simple! Man, talk about all the mental energy being put into a FWB situation

jellib33 · « **Reply #27 on:** 14 April 2018, 09:19:35 pm »

I will check out that book I think my niceness gets me in way too much trouble sometimes but I don't want the business to destroy me. Just need to be.. better at setting boundaries geez

KayKitty · « **Reply #28 on:** 14 April 2018, 11:24:50 pm »

I wouldn't no. There are some clients I like more than others, but I find setting myself the rule that I always charge sets a boundary in my head that I won't ever cross. Actually for me, what's harder is when I meet clients I would just like to be friends with! I have two ex-clients who probably have crossed that boundary into friendship, but at that point I made the conscious decision that the transactional nature of our meetings (and the sex) would stop in favour of the friendship.

TheLittleMatchGirl · « **Reply #29 on:** 15 April 2018, 03:35:00 am »

Quote from: ladyofthemansion on 14 April 2018, 09:02:13 am

Done this myself but the jealousy kicked in when I saw the family Facebook photos then found out that at least one was paying other escorts anyway. Never again.

Good point, he could very easily be getting his freebies from you and then paying another girl for her services.plenty of us have made the mistake of getting involved personally and having " relationships" with a client and they turn into fuck buddies/ boyfriends , but you dont appear to fancy thiw guy or find him attractve at all, so theres literally nothing in it for you, that's crazy!
Do you think he could have been manipulating you into this situation very carefully? It does seem like one hell of a good deal yes got himself

See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: Would you start seeing a client regularly as a "f*ck buddy"? (Read 5031 times)

VoluptuousCurves

Re: Would you start seeing a client regularly as a "f*ck buddy"?

ana30

Re: Would you start seeing a client regularly as a "f*ck buddy"?

DaisyDuck

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Rosesugar

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Dynamite Doll

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Lillys0

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ana30

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jellib33

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VoluptuousCurves

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sourgrapes

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elainegirl

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jellib33

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jellib33

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KayKitty

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TheLittleMatchGirl

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