SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: GothGirl on 28 June 2017, 02:30:24 pm
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So a few weeks ago I had a client, did not like the sound of him when he booked, wish I'd never seen him to be honest. When he arrived , he spent half of the booking , whinging about other escorts he'd visited & how he's left them bad reviews ::)
I was relived as soon as he'd left & knew I wouldn't be seeing him again.
Anyway, a few days ago, I noticed he'd left feedback for a Trans (PRE-op) escort.
He's mentioned 'booking me' again , which I will not be going through with .
Just wondered if any of you would see clients that visit 'Trans' escorts?
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I was wondering for what reason you wouldn't? Is it that you believe they have an increased risk of STI's(probably not the case) or some other reason I can't think of.
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I asked a friend if she would & she said 'absolutely not' for the reason you mentioned, so was just wondering what other peoples opinions were >:(
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Yes, I'd guess she's worried about the increased HIV risk because of having anal.
TBH, for me it would depend on how the TS' profile looked: if they seemed sensible about safety I'd be OK about it.
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It would make no odds to me at all.
I wouldn't automatically assume a trans escort would be more likely to bareback than a cis escort, so I'd do my normal look at their profile and make a decision as I always do.
x
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I have seen many men that have talked dirty about fucking other men or sucking them off, I am in no doubt that a lot of them have. Loads more wouldn't have the balls to talk about it so I suspect we have all seen men that have been with other men/trans. Part of the game I'm afraid, everyone's into something different and none of us know what anyone else has been up to.
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I'm afraid it would be a no for me due to the increased risk of HIV through anal
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No I won't see men who visit TS ladies, nor will I book them back in if a client tells me he has punted in Thailand.
It's your body, your rules.
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So the question really is "would you see a client who has had sex with other men?"
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So the question really is "would you see a client who has had sex with other men?"
I would, but il admit the service would be very limited. No kissing, no OWO. As I said earlier though, no one can be certain where any of us have been. Best to keep everything covered if you have concerns.
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It would make no difference to me.I always assume that every client I see could be barebacking someone or for all I know be bisexual.If there was undisputed proof that he regularly sees escorts of whatever sex that offer bareback then I may think twice but I wouldn't ban because he saw a TS otherwise you may as well ban all clients that have anal sex with other escorts.
I wouldn't see him again because from what you say he came across like a tosser,no other reason needed.
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(Looks at thread)
And I thought rabid transphobia was limited to assorted punter boards...
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How will you know who the guy has seen anyway? He could be fucking all the bare backers under the sun. As long as you play safe yourself.
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It would make no difference to me.I always assume that every client I see could be barebacking someone or for all I know be bisexual.If there was undisputed proof that he regularly sees escorts of whatever sex that offer bareback then I may think twice but I wouldn't ban because he saw a TS otherwise you may as well ban all clients that have anal sex with other escorts.
I wouldn't see him again because from what you say he came across like a tosser,no other reason needed.
Absolutely agree with this. You are never going to know fully what others have been up to. All you can do is look after your own sexual health, end of.
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We are all assuming he had anal sex with this TS.He may have just had a bj anyway not that it really matters what he got up to with whoever..are you going to ban clients that have anal sex with females?
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nor will I book them back in if a client tells me he has punted in Thailand.
Do you know how many British men visit Thailand each year? Thailand is a very popular sex resort amongst the British tourists. But I understand your "sentiment". I couldn't bring myself to see a punter, who told me he was going there for "dirt cheap shags" to his heart's content. (there were other things I didn't like him about)
I often assume that I had seen quite a few men who punted abroad, including Thailand where unusual, resistant strains of STIs do exist (mutated ones, presumably?). But when someone openly declared, I do have my own sentiments re. sex exploitation in the third world country abroad along with the fear of catching unusual, incurable diseases, NOT just STIs. Useful if you check their travel status in recent months and if they are getting diarrhoea etc. Not kidding.
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I used to see this big burley skin head who loved telling me about all the TVs that he had done facials and bjs with I find it no more disgusting than thinking about the married guys I see who've might of had their bare dicks in their wives possibly hours before wanting owo off me or rimming a lorry driver in a shell garage toilets that weekend. We all have different standards of what we consider 'risky' clients.
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I would not automatically ban a client who had met or said he met trans escorts but have known a few clients who regaled me with stories of their travels and exploits including picking up ladyboys and transexuals whether paid or not. I have taken some of it with a pinch of salt but as long as my own health is taken care of as much as I possbly can (never a guarantee in this job) then not much more I can do.
These clients always tell their tales while in bookings during or after the sex so it is up to me whether I choose to see them again. Honestly though I am more likely not see them because of their boasting and boring me to death with their stories than the fact they have been with other men, it is probably far more common than we realise that our clients have dabbled in games with other males, we have no way of knowing how much of it is true or waffle.
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(Looks at thread)
And I thought rabid transphobia was limited to assorted punter boards...
+1 I'm appalled I hope mods shut this down asap
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Lots of assumptions here, and I've a good idea more men than you know have sexual contact with other men.
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(Looks at thread)
And I thought rabid transphobia was limited to assorted punter boards...
Ditto. This is depressing to read. :|
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Just to confirm I have nothing against trans/I'm not transphobia, just wondered what people's thoughts were :-\
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Lots of assumptions here, and I've a good idea more men than you know have sexual contact with other men.
Agreed.I don't assume a TS is more likely to have STI's than anybody else.Surely we are all individuals and god knows we as sex workers get pissed off when some people presume we are riddled!
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There was a thread a few months ago which went something along the lines of "I can't believe that people think just because we are WGs that we are riddled with diseases".
But we are all considered at a "higher risk" because of our occupation. So are men who have sex with men. I'm sure that there are loads of people out there who wouldn't want to have sex with a prostitute cos they don't want to catch anything.
What I'm getting at is we shouldn't be so quick to make judgements about peoples lifestyle choices. There are plenty making the same judgements about us.
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Just to confirm I have nothing against trans/I'm not transphobia, just wondered what people's thoughts were :-\
Every so (far too) often, we have a post that goes something like 'I'm not racist, but I won't see anyone who's (race)'. It will get more or less politely pointed out to them that discriminating on the grounds of race is the basic definition of racism and while everyone is free to see or not see anyone they like, in this case it'd be good if they owned the label that fits. And then, usually, the thread gets locked.
Here, we have something that didn't quite start off that bad, but got that way via an '.. but my friend is' and some people going 'quite right too'.
Not seeing people who're "a tosser", great! Not seeing people who may have - shock! - seen another escort who's not totally the same as you.. well, as I said recently in another context, if you're basing who you see / what you do on what you're told, the sex you're having isn't as safe as you'd like it to be.
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Treat every single client like they could have aids then you can't go wrong.
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Every so (far too) often, we have a post that goes something like 'I'm not racist, but I won't see anyone who's (race)'. It will get more or less politely pointed out to them that discriminating on the grounds of race is the basic definition of racism and while everyone is free to see or not see anyone they like, in this case it'd be good if they owned the label that fits. And then, usually, the thread gets locked.
Here, we have something that didn't quite start off that bad, but got that way via an '.. but my friend is' and some people going 'quite right too'.
Not seeing people who're "a tosser", great! Not seeing people who may have - shock! - seen another escort who's not totally the same as you.. well, as I said recently in another context, if you're basing who you see / what you do on what you're told, the sex you're having isn't as safe as you'd like it to be.
I haven't said anywhere in this thread that I wouldn't see a client that sees Trans. I simply asked what other people's opinions are lol ???
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I haven't said anywhere in this thread that I wouldn't see a client that sees Trans. I simply asked what other people's opinions are lol ???
No you haven't, but if you're not 'othering' trans people then you've basically decided to start a thread which amounts to 'would you see punters who you strongly suspect have seen other prostitutes?' Which would be quite an odd thing to do :).
For what it's worth, I would imagine most of the disdain is directed not at you for being asking a question but at the friend you mentioned. There's probably also a fair amount of confusion and disbelief that somebody so monumentally ignorant and lacking any sign of intelligence or critical thinking survived into adulthood without having long since come to grief from poking forks into electric sockets, or something.
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I don't date men who have sex with other men or transexuals in my personal life. Maybe that makes me Transforic or gayphobic . It's not soo much the HIV risk it's more the "ick factor", it plainly puts me off (or turns me off). Maybe it's that side of my brain telling me "too much competition girl", I don't know. If a client told me I would be turned off by it. I've ha d a couple of clients tell me they were bisexual and I lost all sexual interest in them, my libido just...dropped. I don't think the OP's question is that outrageous to be honest. And I have nothing against transexuals (god forbid), they're lovely people. In my private life I have transexual, bisexual and gay friends and I love them to bits. I believe Heterosexual womens brains are wired in "certain ways".
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I'm not 'turned on' by 3 quarters of the clients I see!Shock horror!
I don't really care who they fuck.I care about whether they turn up on time,how they treat me during our time together and that they are showered and pay me my fee.
I'm a heterosexual woman and at least one of my personal life bfs was bisexual,it didn't matter as we were monogamous like I would expect from a straight partner.
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I don't date men who have sex with other men or transexuals in my personal life. Maybe that makes me Transforic or gayphobic . It's not soo much the HIV risk it's more the "ick factor", it plainly puts me off (or turns me off).
And I have nothing against transexuals (god forbid), they're lovely people. In my private life I have transexual, bisexual and gay friends and I love them to bits.
Wow.
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Wow.
I may love a friend to bits but not want to have sex with him/her. On the other hand I may not love someone at all but want to fu-k his brains out. It's that strange thing called sexual chemistry.
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I may love a friend to bits but not want to have sex with him/her. On the other hand I may not love someone at all but want to fu-k his brains out. It's that strange thing called sexual chemistry.
Yes but you've said you wouldn't fancy them on the basis they are transexual, or have sex with men. Not on the individual attraction or not.
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I have a close friend who is a transgender guy, and practices safe sex always (we talk about stuff ha ha) so to the OP who may just be a little bit ignorant (no offence not everyone gets it) about trans people, they are the same as anyone as in if they are going to be careless they are going to be careless regardless of who they are.
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I have a close friend who is a transgender guy, and practices safe sex always (we talk about stuff ha ha) so to the OP who may just be a little bit ignorant (no offence not everyone gets it) about trans people, they are the same as anyone as in if they are going to be careless they are going to be careless regardless of who they are.
And our practices should always take what we don't know into accoumt.
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I don't date men who have sex with other men or transexuals in my personal life. Maybe that makes me Transforic or gayphobic . It's not soo much the HIV risk it's more the "ick factor", it plainly puts me off (or turns me off). Maybe it's that side of my brain telling me "too much competition girl", I don't know. If a client told me I would be turned off by it. I've ha d a couple of clients tell me they were bisexual and I lost all sexual interest in them, my libido just...dropped. I don't think the OP's question is that outrageous to be honest. And I have nothing against transexuals (god forbid), they're lovely people. In my private life I have transexual, bisexual and gay friends and I love them to bits. I believe Heterosexual womens brains are wired in "certain ways".
Well yep that certainly makes you both transphobic and biphobic. And saying 'I have - friends' doesn't take that away, just as it's possible for racists to have black friends and for sexist men to have girlfriends ::)
No one's saying you have to fuck your friends, but making a statement like 'I would never sleep with anyone trans or bi' i.e. making a blanket generalisation like that is phobic.
I would echo what someone else said and ask if you wouldn't see clients who've had anal sex with men or trans women, would you also not see clients who've had anal sex with female escorts too?
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I agree that we live in 21st Century where derogatory comments towards particular minority groups (racial/ethnic/colour, religion, sexual orientation etc etc) are seen as " you put what you think it is". Let's put it this way, these distorted thinking can be very dangerous as you make yourself look as if you think you are superior in some ways and other are not. That's a very narcissistic pattern of thinking.
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And our practices should always take what we don't know into accoumt.
Quite a lot of us have said this in our various ways. Screen and have the same rules for everyone you see, regardless of.....God I shouldn't even have to say it, ethnicity, race, religion, sexuality, sexual practices, because you only know what they CHOOSE to tell you!
You only have control over your own sexual health, you cannot control anyone else's so look after your own.
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Yes but you've said you wouldn't fancy them on the basis they are transexual, or have sex with men. Not on the individual attraction or not.
I have a dear gay male friend who broke up with his partner because partner was bisexual and it was causing all sorts of sexual issues in the relationship. He doesn't date bisexual men since them. By your rule of thumb that would make him sexist or women phobic (as he won't date men who sleep with women).I used to have a bisexual boyfriend 10 years agi and we had all sorts of sexual issues (the bad kind) and broke up. It was a nightmare. In my case I don't sexually fancy bisexual men or transgender. I happily have them as friends, flatmates and family but I don't like to sleep with them. Homophobic? Don't think so.
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I have a dear gay male friend who broke up with his partner because partner was bisexual and it was causing all sorts of sexual issues in the relationship. He doesn't date bisexual men since them. By your rule of thumb that would make him sexist or women phobic (as he won't date men who sleep with women).I used to have a bisexual boyfriend 10 years agi and we had all sorts of sexual issues (the bad kind) and broke up. It was a nightmare. In my case I don't sexually fancy bisexual men or transgender. I happily have them as friends, flatmates and family but I don't like to sleep with them. Homophobic? Don't think so.
Well yeah correct, I would call him biphobic if he doesn't see men who have slept with women. That kind of discrimination is rampant in the LGBT community. No matter how you play it, if you won't date someone who is bi or trans purely on the basis of them being bi or trans then there is an ick factor that you have with it. Just because you have bi or trans friends it doesn't take that away.
No one's telling you who you have to sleep with as that's your choice, but your choice is still discriminatory. I'm bi and I've come across loads of gold star lesbians who turn their noses up at bi women. It's common, and it sucks.
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Offering services and attraction/preferences in personal life are two different things. The OP was asking for opinions on what people think/do with regards to this job (I assume with regards to health concerns).
I think it is good to discuss such things no matter what the differences of opinions are.
F@ck knows how this applies to this job, but the Equality and Human Rights Commission defines discrimination treating a person unfairly because of who they are or because they possess certain 'protected' characteristics (race, sexual orientation etc).
Refusing service to a client because they are associated with someone who has a protected characteristic, can be considered 'discrimination by association'.
There can be 'reasonable reasons' where it is not considered (unlawful) discrimination if you refuse/treat someone with protected characteristics unfairly. eg perceived health-related concerns, incompatibility in sexual orientation, ethical reasons etc. (this is my interpretation how 'lawful discrimination' may apply to this job)
That being said, I personally agree with others here, it is unfair to generalize about TS with regards to health concerns or anything really, and there is no way knowing anyway what any client we see has been up to or carries in their system. But see the last paragraph above, anyone can make their own choices.
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Offering services and attraction/preferences in personal life are two different things. The OP was asking for opinions on what people think/do with regards to this job (I assume with regards to health concerns).
I think it is good to discuss such things no matter what the differences of opinions are.
F@ck knows how this applies to this job, but the Equality and Human Rights Commission defines discrimination treating a person unfairly because of who they are or because they possess certain 'protected' characteristics (race, sexual orientation etc).
Refusing service to a client because they are associated with someone who has a protected characteristic, can be considered 'discrimination by association'.
There can be 'reasonable reasons' where it is not considered (unlawful) discrimination if you refuse/treat someone with protected characteristics unfairly. eg perceived health-related concerns, incompatibility in sexual orientation, ethical reasons etc. (this is my interpretation how 'lawful discrimination' may apply to this job)
That being said, I personally agree with others here, it is unfair to generalize about TS with regards to health concerns or anything really, and there is no way knowing anyway what any client we see has been up to or carries in their system. But see the last paragraph above, anyone can make their own choices.
lol yep and when they're in the door I have seen some right shockers Lord !
to be honest could be as 'straight' as a ruler but yep, F@ck that ! and I have !
couldn't give a shit about anything apart from being nice, pleasant,clean etc
My 'jimmy Saville' with constant coke nose has sprung to mind " do anything to me baby" (of course your really turning me on ) ....uuuuugh!
yep I couldn't get him going but "his little 50 quid bird from Thailand or somewhere can" his words!!!
(feel so sorry for whoever she is, bet she loves him)
give me 5 transgender or basically anyone at once rather than him !!!!
plus I love sorting out hair make up etc ..(not that mines great but its fun) so Id have a TS party , like ann summers with a twist xxx
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F@ck knows how this applies to this job, but the Equality and Human Rights Commission defines discrimination treating a person unfairly because of who they are or because they possess certain 'protected' characteristics (race, sexual orientation etc).
Refusing service to a client because they are associated with someone who has a protected characteristic, can be considered 'discrimination by association'.
There can be 'reasonable reasons' where it is not considered (unlawful) discrimination if you refuse/treat someone with protected characteristics unfairly. eg perceived health-related concerns, incompatibility in sexual orientation, ethical reasons etc. (this is my interpretation how 'lawful discrimination' may apply to this job)
Personal services (such as those offered by a carer whose duties may include dealing with people in states of undress or when using toilets and so on) have various exemptions regarding gender preference especially, and I would imagine similar would apply to prostitution since it's unlawful to force anyone to have sex with someone they don't want to. There are similar exceptions when it comes to ethnicity and authenticity in public-facing roles; a theatre hiring actors to play Othello may advertise for a black actor and a Chinese restaurant may advertise for ethnically Chinese waiting staff.
I'm avoiding the thread generally because some of the posts have been so utterly repulsive, but hopefully it can take a more sensible tone now. If it doesn't can somebody please report it and I'll lock it; I notice there's a new pregnancy thread too so it's not as if the pearl clutchers don't have plenty to be getting on with.
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Use your own gut instincts, they are there for a reason, everyone is different and I doubt that anybodies opinion is going to change the way you think or feel about this, but don't do anything that will make you feel uneasy, its all very well treating people equally etc... but treat yourself just as equal by not doing anything you aren't comfortable with. Its your body and your mind.
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One of my regulars told me he has considered seeing a ts.
He is curious to experience giving a bj but does not fancy men so it would have to be someone who looks like a woman.
It wouldn't put me off seeing him.
At the end of the day we don't know what our clients get up to in their private life.
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At the end of the day we don't know what our clients get up to in their private life.
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Did someone say on saafe, "if you are too anxious or worried about the potential risks, this industry isn't for you". It is quite likely you have already seen men, who sexually "experimented" quite a bit before seeing you. Not everyone will tell you. I agree with Bibi. If you'd to pass some judgement, just look at yourself and ask yourself what you do, too. We all suck cocks and fuck strangers. TS do the same.
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I have worked with trans service providers who always use condoms (except sometimes OWO, like I do) and been with clients who have seen them. My ex is bi. No problem. I worry more about my 'straight' punters who visit swingers clubs and bareback any takers.
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If you're going to get into a tizz at the notion that clients may have sex with other people, male or female; safe or otherwise, sex workers or civvy then you need to have a good talk with yourself or get out of the industry.
You have no way of knowing who has sex with who when not with you, keep yourself safe and assume they have unsafe or high risk sex elsewhere.
Disappointed at some of the views on this thread. :(
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Really shocked that people who offer sex for money are so close-minded :o ???
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A repeat client booked me this week and we discussed threesomes and bi men and women (the subject arises more often than some may imagine). He said he hopes one day to see 2 women together and then confessed he has always wondered what it is like to suck a cock. He said he may do it one day if he is brave enough. The subject then went on to cross dressers and transgenders. I told him I have met several pre op trans clients and had sex as man and woman of course. He got confused as some men do whereby they can not clearly differentiate between X dressers and trans people. I explained the facts and the differences.
He asked me if I thought trans people are more promiscuous than non trans folk and I said I had absolutely no idea, how could I and why would they be, other than perhaps their hormone treatment was having that effect? All I could say for sure was that those I have met have all been as particular about safety as myself.
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yes im happy to see anyone as long as they are clean well manner and not see anyone openly advertising bb on there aw profile
at the end o the day none of us know who is fucking who bareback all we can do is look at aw feedback , i see alot of bi men .
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TS, male, female, what's the difference? That's right - fuck all. As long as the cock is attached to an individual who passes my screening thats all I'm interested in.
It's not as though you know their sexual history declared or not. This is why we take the precautions we do.
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It really would not make any difference to me if a client had/would see TS escorts too. All I care about is how respectful, hygienic, discreet and friendly they are.
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For me it's got nothing to do with bareback or stds'. It's down to the fact I am a heterosexual woman only wanting to have sex with heterosexual men. Just because I sell sex doesn't mean I have to have sex with females or guys who are bi etc. Neither is it an open door policy to everyone who calls for a booking. This job is extremely intimate, it's not like refusing entry to a nightclub.
It's my sexual preference not homophobia. Because if that was the case every heterosexual person not wanting to have sex with gay/bi would be classed as homophobic.
Now I have no doubt that I will have seen men who have played with other cocks, but as long as I don't know I don't care, but if I do know then it would be a polite decline from me.
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It's my sexual preference not homophobia. Because if that was the case every heterosexual person not wanting to have sex with gay/bi would be classed as homophobic.
Now I have no doubt that I will have seen men who have played with other cocks, but as long as I don't know I don't care, but if I do know then it would be a polite decline from me.
Well it is homophobic/biphobic if the reason for not wanting to sleep with someone is because they're bi. And why is it you would decline a man who has 'played with other cocks'?
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I would prefer all my clients to be virgins but that ain't going to happen. You also cannot guarantee getting a mouthful of fanny juice or spunk when he kisses you.
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I can understand not wanting to see female clients if you are not bi or gay but I don't understand not seeing a male client because he may have had sex with another male at some point.
It holds zero logic to me at all?!?If he is having the same service as any other male client then how exactly does it effect anything?!?
Saying that a heterosexual person who wouldn't want sex with a gay person doesn't make them homophobic..correct because a straight person not wanting sex with a gay person..think about it..a straight male isn't going to want sex with a gay male because the steaight male is er straight..straight male wouldn't want sex with a gay female because the woman isn't in to men..ditto the other way round!That's sexual preference!
Silly argument!
I have seen several blokes who are trannies and bi and it only came up in later conversation.Did I notice anything unusual about them?Nope.Did it make me suddenly draw up my skirts and do a scream of horror before banning them?No.
Why would it?I'm paid to service (polite,clean)blokes and someone who is bi is no different to any other punter.
I could vaguely understand not seeing a group of people if you have had a bad experience with them but all this 'cause it's ick' or 'cos I'm heterosexual' is just quite frankly aload of old bollocks and yes to me it is prejudiced and without any reason whatsoever,sorry but I just don't get it.
It is absolutely your own choice to see who you want to see but don't try to dress it up as a reasoned decision when it isn't.
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At the end of the day we really don't know what our clients are doing! As long as we take precautions and perform safe sex, what does it matter? Most of my friends are gay men and they always stay safe,as it's common sense to do so anyway, regardless of sexuality! Get regularly tested and always use a condom!
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I wouldn't discriminate based on ones sexuality or sexual preference not all transsexuals or homosexuals engage in anal sex. You never know what risqu? acts a client may or maynot partake in unless they tell you, much less who they've seen it could be another working girl who provides bareback with many clients and doesn't advertise it.
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What about guys who go on holiday to thailand? What do you think they are doing over there id say 80% of guys that have been there have been with a ladyboy and youve probberbly seen loads of guys already that have been with ladyboys but they dont brag about it to girls, i dont see the issue really they could be going to see girls who offer bb you never know where the client has been before you and as long as your protected you should be fine x
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I assume that all clients who visit me bareback and have all other manner of unprotected sex.
I treat everyone the same and protect myself.
I for one, don't have the time to go trawling through a client's feedback to see who he's seen plus the majority of my bookings come from telephone calls.
What I do believe, is that it is each individual's right to refuse to see a client for any reason. There are clients I won't see for a variety of reasons that others may not agree with.
I did have a regular who visited transsexual escorts as he wanted to suck a cock. The first one was a disaster as the cock was too big but I think he enjoyed the 2nd booking.
I ditched him but that was because he was a clingy, annoying middle aged man who fancied me for his second wife, not because of him visiting transsexual escorts.
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If a client requests for you to wear a strap-on and f&ck him, would you do that? It's sad that most men are so simple as they only want to see a TS in order to be penetrated for real :o maybe some genuine TS saves the money to have surgery which is very expensive ?? There are few trans who now work as females anyway as they had their Surgeries. And not all are promiscuous, I think it's due to the fact that they're seen as objects no matter what. :-X
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I do anal and have trans sex partners. If you're using an condoms should be ok.
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Sorry... As a post op transsexual/heterosexual woman I'm still trying to get over the shock of some of the comments I've seen on this thread, some of what I've read is genuinely disgusting and transphobic, other things I've read are just down to not being educated.
I think the first post I read really hit me hard and only reminds me of the time back in the 80's when we had the AIDS epidemic and the stories that went around like hell fire that all of this was down to gay people spreading it around. Truth is, you can get AIDS from anyone who is infected, it isn't spread around by gay, lesbian or even trans people - it's spread by those of the human race who are careless in their actions and would rather play a game of Russion Roulette than have safe sex, or at least inform their sexual partners that they are HIV.
The next thing that disgusted me is the assumption that transsexual or TS women are men, no we aren't. There were a few people that mentioned this, but one in particular stood out. "Lots of assumptions here, and I've a good idea more men than you know have sexual contact with other men"
Transvestites and Cross Dressers are men who dress up in women's clothes etc, Transsexuals or any other form of transgender women who go through the process of HRT and body corrections to align their bodies with their female gender identity are women. We go through agonising waits on the NHS just to prove ourselves to medical professionals that we are who we say we are before we even get an ounce of help, I could go on forever and discuss tons of horror stories, but I won't. There are many trans women out there who are legally recognised as women but who decide to keep their penis, it's their choice, but they're still women in the eyes of the law and in their gender identity.
Then there is this "In my private life I have transexual, bisexual and gay friends and I love them to bits. I believe Heterosexual womens brains are wired in "certain ways".
This implies that transsexual women aren't women because our brains are wired differently to heterosexual women. It's partly correct. My brain from conception in the womb was wired female, but I was born with male parts so my parents thought they had a son and raised me accordingly. But this post is laying claim that transsexual women can't be heterosexual, being trans has nothing at all to do with being straight or gay.
Having sex with someone because they had anal sex with someone else doesn't make them a higher risk. Not taking precautions makes it a high risk. Damn, there are lots of heterosexual women out there who have anal sex with men, does this imply that they at high risk too. How many men do we see every day have a female partner at home that they might have the occasional bit of anal sex with? I bet there may be a few. There is this stigma out there that if a guy sex with a trans women then the guy must be gay or that the trans woman is gay, no, neither of them are gay and both can be heterosexual at the same time. A trans woman is a woman, FULL STOP!
I'd like to say a big thank you to those of you who either remained neutral on this or defended trans women like myself by pointing out indescrepencies in posts. We need to remind ourselves of the industry we work in. It's high risk, but then is going to a bar one night and having a one night stand with some stud muffin because he looks hot an sexy, even more risky if the sex is unprotected.
We can't make assumptions that a trans woman has HIV/AIDS, is gay, is a man, is dirty or doing it as a fetish, isn't a real woman or anything else other than what we see. Just the same as the rest of society can't make assumptions that sex workers are dirty, carry sexually transmitted diseases, are low life gutter scum, or are worthless members of society who can't get real jobs and so resort to selling their bodies for sex because that's the only thing they're capable of doing.
In both instances these are negative stereotypes and as assumptions go, are very incorrect...
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Thanks Katie, I hope your post lays this topic to rest (honestly I don't know why it was brought up in the first place)! I was disappointed but honestly not that surprised that a lot of people here have transphobic attitudes, or that the 'I have loads of [marginalised group] friends' defence was brought up. Bottom line is, if you have a blanket ban on seeing men who have slept with trans people this isn't just a harmless 'preference', because if you delve deep enough for your reasons for it you're always going to come to some iteration of 'trans people are icky', which is obviously discriminatory.
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honestly I don't know why it was brought up in the first place
Me neither tbh, but I wonder how many who have posted those negative comments would be upset if they tried to give up SW and fall in love with the person of their dreams and live happily ever after, but then lose it all once their partner finds out in some way that they used to be a sex worker and feel as though they've been cheated or lied to and that you're nothing but a disgusting cheap hoar who's been had by every man/woman and their dog. Which of course none of it is true, but not everyone is as open minded as the next.
I think this topic needs to be locked now and further hate/discriminating comments towards people of minority groups be banned.
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Me neither tbh, but I wonder how many who have posted those negative comments would be upset if they tried to give up SW and fall in love with the person of their dreams and live happily ever after, but then lose it all once their partner finds out in some way that they used to be a sex worker and feel as though they've been cheated or lied to and that you're nothing but a disgusting cheap hoar who's been had by every man/woman and their dog. Which of course none of it is true, but not everyone is as open minded as the next.
I think this topic needs to be locked now and further hate/discriminating comments towards people of minority groups be banned.
I disagree about the locking - the whole point is that this is a support/discussion/educational forum. You're not always going to like what you read, but it doesn't mean it's not valuable.
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I disagree about the locking - the whole point is that this is a support/discussion/educational forum. You're not always going to like what you read, but it doesn't mean it's not valuable.
I agree.
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I disagree about the locking - the whole point is that this is a support/discussion/educational forum. You're not always going to like what you read, but it doesn't mean it's not valuable.
Ok I agree, let's have some discussion if you will.
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First of all, let's just say a lot of transexual women, I have seen look better then the genetic women! A female form comes in different forms, fat, skinny, dark, light, tall, short etc etc.
If a client is comfortable enough to tell you about his sexual desire this is were you hit the jackpot. Most men can't be open about their sexual desires that why they see escorts. A clever women will know how to use this info, to keep repeat customers and keep a client happy, comfortable and keep him coming back to see her and opening up about his desires.
As long as his, clean, respectful and has money to pay me for my service I could not give a f**K I'm here for the money.
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First of all, let's just say a lot of transexual women, I have seen look better then the genetic women! A female form comes in different forms, fat, skinny, dark, light, tall, short etc etc.
... I could not give a f**K I'm here for the money.
Ditto ;D
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It wouldn't bother me at al. Why would it?
It's my clients money and his choice to see who he likes.
How are we supposed to know who they have seen beforehand if they don't tell us and they don't have feedback for example? They could be doing all sorts with civvie and you wouldn't have a clue.
Aslong as he is clean and respectful when he sees me. As has been said before I assume all clients are barebacking someone so I get checked regularly anyway. Transexual or not, there is a risk there with anyone. So best to look after your own health, it's what you have control of.
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+1 :)
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I couldn't care less.
I'm a bit concerned that you think transgender women or men are more likely to be unsafe/risk? That wouldn't be the case any more than with anyone else.
I've had a client who used to go to the gay sauna's in my town. Now he was high risk (and I stopped seeing him once he told me this)
But I'm going to keep myself safe and screen myself so it's irrelevant who they have been with before really.
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I couldn't care less.
I'm a bit concerned that you think transgender women or men are more likely to be unsafe/risk? That wouldn't be the case any more than with anyone else.
I've had a client who used to go to the gay sauna's in my town. Now he was high risk (and I stopped seeing him once he told me this)
But I'm going to keep myself safe and screen myself so it's irrelevant who they have been with before really.
Why are gay saunas high risk?
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Do you know what?
I don't really overthink the risks of sex work. There are risks everywhere. I'm more likely to be totalled in an RTA than I am to catch an STD (especially as I drive all over the UK). I get checked at the GUM. I do OWO. I do rimming. I CIM/SWALLOW.
If people are so concerned with the risk factor I think their services should reflect that or they should be in a different profession.
I have entertained bi sexual men, women, people who go to GBs and homosexual men who wanted to 'try heterosexual sex.
I've never had a booking with a transgender woman but I would accept one without hesitation.
I can't see why anyone would be discriminated against based on their sexuality or what body parts they have or haven't got. As I said previously, we have a right to refuse bookings for any reason but assuming transgender ladies are more likely to be high risk is ludicrous.
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Do you know what?
I don't really overthink the risks of sex work. There are risks everywhere. I'm more likely to be totalled in an RTA than I am to catch an STD (especially as I drive all over the UK). I get checked at the GUM. I do OWO. I do rimming. I CIM/SWALLOW.
If people are so concerned with the risk factor I think their services should reflect that or they should be in a different profession.
I have entertained bi sexual men, women, people who go to GBs and homosexual men who wanted to 'try heterosexual sex.
I've never had a booking with a transgender woman but I would accept one without hesitation.
I can't see why anyone would be discriminated against based on their sexuality or what body parts they have or haven't got. As I said previously, we have a right to refuse bookings for any reason but assuming transgender ladies are more likely to be high risk is ludicrous.
Exactly my thoughts! It surprised me too to hear people here saying they'd refuse a booking with a man who'd slept with another man or a trans woman not because of higher risk but because of 'preference'. Since when does preference come into our job? I'd prefer to have all hot clients with nice dicks who'd raw me and make me cum but that's not gonna happen. Besides, even in private life I think it's bullshit to say 'I'm not gonna sleep with this man if he's fucked another man'. Why should that matter? Don't even get me started on the gold star lesbians who turn their noses up at bisexual women for sleeping with men.
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I'd prefer to have all hot clients with nice dicks who'd raw me and make me cum...
Awwwww, now that's a really nice thought. Sounds like every girls dream ;D
Just made me think of Max Romeo when he sings Wet Dream lol xx
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Awwwww, now that's a really nice thought. Sounds like every girls dream ;D
Just made me think of Max Romeo when he sings Wet Dream lol xx
Who said romance is dead eh
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Why are gay saunas high risk?
According to my male gay lodger, his boyfriend and several gay friends - lots of unprotected sex occurs from meets at sauna's.
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Sorry... As a post op transsexual/heterosexual woman I'm still trying to get over the shock of some of the comments I've seen on this thread, some of what I've read is genuinely disgusting and transphobic, other things I've read are just down to not being educated.
I think the first post I read really hit me hard and only reminds me of the time back in the 80's when we had the AIDS epidemic and the stories that went around like hell fire that all of this was down to gay people spreading it around. Truth is, you can get AIDS from anyone who is infected, it isn't spread around by gay, lesbian or even trans people - it's spread by those of the human race who are careless in their actions and would rather play a game of Russion Roulette than have safe sex, or at least inform their sexual partners that they are HIV.
The next thing that disgusted me is the assumption that transsexual or TS women are men, no we aren't. There were a few people that mentioned this, but one in particular stood out. "Lots of assumptions here, and I've a good idea more men than you know have sexual contact with other men"
Transvestites and Cross Dressers are men who dress up in women's clothes etc, Transsexuals or any other form of transgender women who go through the process of HRT and body corrections to align their bodies with their female gender identity are women. We go through agonising waits on the NHS just to prove ourselves to medical professionals that we are who we say we are before we even get an ounce of help, I could go on forever and discuss tons of horror stories, but I won't. There are many trans women out there who are legally recognised as women but who decide to keep their penis, it's their choice, but they're still women in the eyes of the law and in their gender identity.
Then there is this "In my private life I have transexual, bisexual and gay friends and I love them to bits. I believe Heterosexual womens brains are wired in "certain ways".
This implies that transsexual women aren't women because our brains are wired differently to heterosexual women. It's partly correct. My brain from conception in the womb was wired female, but I was born with male parts so my parents thought they had a son and raised me accordingly. But this post is laying claim that transsexual women can't be heterosexual, being trans has nothing at all to do with being straight or gay.
Having sex with someone because they had anal sex with someone else doesn't make them a higher risk. Not taking precautions makes it a high risk. Damn, there are lots of heterosexual women out there who have anal sex with men, does this imply that they at high risk too. How many men do we see every day have a female partner at home that they might have the occasional bit of anal sex with? I bet there may be a few. There is this stigma out there that if a guy sex with a trans women then the guy must be gay or that the trans woman is gay, no, neither of them are gay and both can be heterosexual at the same time. A trans woman is a woman, FULL STOP!
I'd like to say a big thank you to those of you who either remained neutral on this or defended trans women like myself by pointing out indescrepencies in posts. We need to remind ourselves of the industry we work in. It's high risk, but then is going to a bar one night and having a one night stand with some stud muffin because he looks hot an sexy, even more risky if the sex is unprotected.
We can't make assumptions that a trans woman has HIV/AIDS, is gay, is a man, is dirty or doing it as a fetish, isn't a real woman or anything else other than what we see. Just the same as the rest of society can't make assumptions that sex workers are dirty, carry sexually transmitted diseases, are low life gutter scum, or are worthless members of society who can't get real jobs and so resort to selling their bodies for sex because that's the only thing they're capable of doing.
In both instances these are negative stereotypes and as assumptions go, are very incorrect...
Well Done my thoughts exactly , and aside from that there's tons of shitty posts on here about 'straight guys' being filthy, not washing , discusting behaviour etc !!!!
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As long as everything is protected why should it be any different from any other booking. Any gent you take a booking from could be seeing other people possibly unprotected, that's why I and anyone else use protection in the first place so really why discriminate?
I have dated trasexual/gender people and in the past and this discrimination does make me feel sad. It's no different from not seeing someone of a certain race. I understand preferences but I'd rather not be a sheep who always follows the pack. I'll make my own mind up when it comes to people. Call me a hippy but in this work I see punters come down in these categories:-
the good
the bad
the downright ugly ;D