SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Leilaa on 28 May 2017, 04:08:56 pm
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I met a client a few weeks ago who travelled a long way to see me as he really loves Indian girls. When I opened the door I was pleasantly surprised.. he's in his 30s and very handsome . The reason he booked a wg is because he wanted to carry out a particular fantasy as I can't see him having trouble attracting women in a bar.
We got on really well and before he left he said ' I would love to take you out on a date' I laughed it off and said we know too much about each other. Hes since booked again twice to see me and each time he's tried persuading me to go out with him. Hes booked again for next week and although it's good to have a regular I think these bookings are a excuse to come over and persuade me to see him outside. Not sure what to do in this situation.
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I feel with clients that they don't really like me as a person because they don't know me, they just know me as a provider of sex so I question why they'd want to date me. There is every chance a client just wants to fuck you for free and when they get bored they'll move on to somebody else. What happens when the excitement wears off?
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I'm currently dating a former client, but it was me to initiate the relationship, not him.
I don't know why but I wouldn't want to date a guy who came on to me during a booking... I feel like I'd always be questioning his motives.
x
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I just say "My social rate is the same as my normal rate. I'd suggest 4 hours for a dinner date which is ?400. Let me know when you want to set something up."
Spoiler: My BF did do this, and paid, and a few bookings later he got promoted to boyfriend :D
I wouldn't even THINK about it with a client unless you feel you really like him as a person. It sounds like this guy is pushing your boundaries, which is unattractive.
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I think it would depend on wether you're looking for a BF or not.
I dated a client for almost a year but made it clear I only wanted to see him 2/3 times a week as I wanted company at the weekends, someone to holiday, meals out, that kind of thing.
It worked well and I've recently moved onto someone else with the same criteria.
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I would date only one particular client because I fancy the pants off him in all sorts of levels and have known him for a while.
How well do you know 'him' and how well does he know 'you'? Does he want to date you because he likes the bedroom-you, he is after free sex and because you fulfill his sexual fantasy? Is he available?
Otherwise, if the guy meets your criteria I'd say go for it, life is too short.
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I just say "My social rate is the same as my normal rate. I'd suggest 4 hours for a dinner date which is ?400. Let me know when you want to set something up."
Spoiler: My BF did do this, and paid, and a few bookings later he got promoted to boyfriend :D
I wouldn't even THINK about it with a client unless you feel you really like him as a person. It sounds like this guy is pushing your boundaries, which is unattractive.
+++1
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I just say "My social rate is the same as my normal rate. I'd suggest 4 hours for a dinner date which is ?400. Let me know when you want to set something up."
Spoiler: My BF did do this, and paid, and a few bookings later he got promoted to boyfriend :D
I wouldn't even THINK about it with a client unless you feel you really like him as a person. It sounds like this guy is pushing your boundaries, which is unattractive.
+1
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See this thread, amongst many others: http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=3308.330;topicseen (http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=3308.330;topicseen)
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I just say "My social rate is the same as my normal rate. I'd suggest 4 hours for a dinner date which is ?400. Let me know when you want to set something up."
Spoiler: My BF did do this, and paid, and a few bookings later he got promoted to boyfriend :D
I wouldn't even THINK about it with a client unless you feel you really like him as a person. It sounds like this guy is pushing your boundaries, which is unattractive.
Ha VC that's a good point. Thankyou ladies for your views on this I think I'm going to keep well away and not mix business with pleasure xx
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It's mainly about sex or it will always center around sex, whilst you may get his "company" and trappings which come with sex, Not many escorts have a monogamous relationship where men are solely committed to her except few where they probably met outside escorting. Punters will always be punters, paid or unpaid.
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I married one and sex is not central to our relationship.
Ok if you want to go out with him, and form a relationship then do so. If you don't then maintain your boundaries and that you don't want to be persuaded. Whilst it can be really flattering, and obviously you want to keep his custom, being constantly asked and keeping his hopes going can become a strain after a while.
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No I would not ever date a client no matter how much I may fancy them. I want nothing to complicate this job and am not prepared to take the risk of this happening. Not even tempted.
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No I would not ever date a client no matter how much I may fancy them. I want nothing to complicate this job and am not prepared to take the risk of this happening. Not even tempted.
1+
Even if a client was amazing looking and a nice person, I couldn't get past the mental block of him being a punter. Hypocritical I know but I would never date anyone who saw escorts.
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1+
Even if a client was amazing looking and a nice person, I couldn't get past the mental block of him being a punter. Hypocritical I know but I would never date anyone who saw escorts
To my way of thinking this is not really being hypocritical. Dating is entirely separate from punter/wg situation. Private civvy life to me would not include dating a man who sees escorts.
I know there is a lot of conflict on this subject but am only stating how it is with me.
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It's mainly about sex or it will always center around sex, whilst you may get his "company" and trappings which come with sex, Not many escorts have a monogamous relationship where men are solely committed to her except few where they probably met outside escorting. Punters will always be punters, paid or unpaid.
My partner is an ex punter and is monogamous to me.However I only met him once as a client then met him again socially through industry friends where we got to know each other away from the bedroom and I asked him out.
Personally I would be wary of dating a bloke who has only ever seen me for paid sex.It is easy to get carried away in the moment and with a person that actually doesn't exist (he only knows you as Leilaalexis the escort,you only know him as nice client)
Most guys who ask this question after a couple of bookings are just trying to get a free shag at the end of the day.
By the way saying that because someone appears charming and good looking means they have no problem getting dates for free doesn't really add up.Clients punt for all sorts of reasons.He could actually be married and want action on the side,he may be actually quite shy around civvy women or he could actually be a complete shit away from his bookings with you.
Not all clients are hideous and 'need' to pay for sex.
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To my way of thinking this is not really being hypocritical. Dating is entirely separate from punter/wg situation. Private civvy life to me would not include dating a man who sees escorts.
I know there is a lot of conflict on this subject but am only stating how it is with me.
Playing the devil's advocate, with this logic, civvie men wouldn't date a woman who sees punters?
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Playing the devil's advocate, with this logic, civvie men wouldn't date a woman who sees punters?
There have been many men on other forums discussing this and they have stated they would have no problem dating escorts. How honest they are being is anyone's guess. Or perhaps it is their fantasy to date a wg as she would be horny 24/7 and he would get sex on tap.
Pigs flying overhead, watch out! ::)
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There have been many men on other forums discussing this and they have stated they would have no problem dating escorts. How honest they are being is anyone's guess. Or perhaps it is their fantasy to date a wg as she would be horny 24/7 and he would get sex on tap.
Pigs flying overhead, watch out! ::)
That sounds like punter forums though. My point was that it is hypocritical for us to have a problem with men who pay for sex, but expect civvie men not to have a problem with women who get paid for sex. I think there are lots of punters that I wouldn't date, as there are lots of civvie men who would have a problem with our job. But I would like to believe that there are cases of both civvie men and clients who would turn out to be good partners. It may not be common but some of the testimonies here and in other threads prove that.
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As a wg I don't have any problem with men who pay for sex, of course I don't! When I am in civvy life though I would not want to date a punter.
Make of that what you will but it is my stance.
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As a wg I don't have any problem with men who pay for sex, of course I don't! When I am in civvy life though I would not want to date a punter.
Make of that what you will but it is my stance.
That's your choice at the end of the day.
There are men who are punters who wouldn't dream of dating an escort, others who wouldn't mind it. Civvie men who wouldn't dream of dating an escort and others who wouldn't mind it either. It's everyone's personal preference and that's fine. It may well be hypocritical to some, but if you are looking for a life partner it's entirely your choice to be picky and hypocritical in my opinion.
I have dated a client, last year, he was no different to any normal civvie male, he wasn't a frequent punter and had only seen three girls in the one year he had started paying for sex. I personally wouldn't rule out dating a client myself if he was single.
This client in question sounds like he may be doing it to get free sex though so I would be careful and probably not see him again. The client I dated only saw me once for a booking and then a few months later we met up, I was wary that he wanted free sex but he made it clear he wasn't after that and even offered to wait as long as I wanted, it didn't go to plan as he ended up seeing someone else and making her his girlfriend behind my back. They split up recently and he has been trying to meet up with me again since which isn't going to happen lol.
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I definitely couldn't take a guy seriously if he had paid me for sex, it would be okay if he had paid for sex with someone else but not me although to be totally honest I wouldn't like a relationship with a guy that had paid for it full stop! Tbh though the kinds of guys I like in my personal life seem to be popular with the ladies so I don't think they would dream of paying for sex imo.
You can see exactly why the punters forum said they'd go out with us; they honestly think that sex would be on tap and it would be dirty etc etc but when your in a relationship your able to say 'not tonight dear' and your able to be selfish too! I reckon most men on the forum can only DREAM of having girlfriend's like us, I know at least 10 men from my sauna days who all post on that forum & believe me they'd be lucky to get together with any of the girls I worked with including myself; we're just too damn sexy for these guys!!
Let's be honest the majority of clients - well mine anyhow - are too old, too married, too square, too unattractive, not in the least bit sexy and too damn conventional in my eyes for me to ever want to go with them for free, yes I get the odd hottie but then their personality doesn't match their face if you get me?!
Also less desperate types of punters wouldn't want to have an escort as a girlfriend imo, only the old sad ones that don't have a hope in hell of getting sex from a sexy lady unless they pay!!
Each to their own though as I know girls who met their current boyfriends this way and I don't judge them for it and I'm happy for them but it just wouldn't work for me.
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Each to their own though as I know girls who met their current boyfriends this way and I don't judge them for it and I'm happy for them but it just wouldn't work for me.
This is exactly how I feel too.
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That's your choice at the end of the day.
There are men who are punters who wouldn't dream of dating an escort, others who wouldn't mind it. Civvie men who wouldn't dream of dating an escort and others who wouldn't mind it either. It's everyone's personal preference and that's fine. It may well be hypocritical to some, but if you are looking for a life partner it's entirely your choice to be picky and hypocritical in my opinion.
I have dated a client, last year, he was no different to any normal civvie male, he wasn't a frequent punter and had only seen three girls in the one year he had started paying for sex. I personally wouldn't rule out dating a client myself if he was single.
This client in question sounds like he may be doing it to get free sex though so I would be careful and probably not see him again. The client I dated only saw me once for a booking and then a few months later we met up, I was wary that he wanted free sex but he made it clear he wasn't after that and even offered to wait as long as I wanted, it didn't go to plan as he ended up seeing someone else and making her his girlfriend behind my back. They split up recently and he has been trying to meet up with me again since which isn't going to happen lol.
Omg what a Rat that's awful.... Yes I'm going to stay away I think it's best x
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In the abstract, I would. I'd generally much rather have my partner see professionals than anyone else, and I believe genuine, long-term sexual monogamy doesn't work for many people. That said I am not single and definitely not interested in poly arrangements, so have never actually dated someone I met through work.
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I am mixed Asian (Chinese) and in a very similar situation! Guy said he wanted to live fantasy of Asian girl. I am interested how this went Leilalexis xx
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If you really like him go for a date! But be aware that you might lose him completely as a client. I was going out with a client, never had sex for free but we were enjoying our time together so much that we became very good friends.
About being in a relationship with man you met trough escorting I find it normal. When you meet civvie men you never know how often he visits escorts. At the end of the day our clients are also civvie, aren't they?
You never know what a civvie man is doing and you never know what a civvie women is doing as well. Not being escort doesnt stop any women from having casual sex every Saturday night. So I think punters and escorts judge each other too much.
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I am mixed Asian (Chinese) and in a very similar situation! Guy said he wanted to live fantasy of Asian girl. I am interested how this went Leilalexis xx
In that case he needs to be paying for that fantasy.. .. sounds like he wants free sex. Just be careful x
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I have been seeing a man who was a client for around 3 months now. He paid me for the first 2 sessions which lasted around 3 days (we really hit it off ;D )
He had a girlfriend when we first met but told he he wasn't happy in the relationship and was planning on leaving her. Him having a girlfriend didn't put me off as I really liked him and was sure he would get round to cutting her loose.
Now he has split up with her, he now tells me that he cannot consider making me his official girlfriend until I give up escorting and get a 'normal' job. :-\ ?
I am thinking about it as I wasn't ever planning on escorting for ever but I cannot stop right now?! I need to work for at least another 3 months - I don't think he will be willing to wait for that long?
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If you really like him go for a date! But be aware that you might lose him completely as a client. I was going out with a client, never had sex for free but we were enjoying our time together so much that we became very good friends.
About being in a relationship with man you met trough escorting I find it normal. When you meet civvie men you never know how often he visits escorts. At the end of the day our clients are also civvie, aren't they?
You never know what a civvie man is doing and you never know what a civvie women is doing as well. Not being escort doesnt stop any women from having casual sex every Saturday night. So I think punters and escorts judge each other too much.
+1
This is how I feel too. Everyone is different though and I respect that.
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In that case he needs to be paying for that fantasy.. .. sounds like he wants free sex. Just be careful x
I will charge him and if he doesn't like it he can bugger off x
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I have been seeing a man who was a client for around 3 months now. He paid me for the first 2 sessions which lasted around 3 days (we really hit it off ;D )
He had a girlfriend when we first met but told he he wasn't happy in the relationship and was planning on leaving her. Him having a girlfriend didn't put me off as I really liked him and was sure he would get round to cutting her loose.
Now he has split up with her, he now tells me that he cannot consider making me his official girlfriend until I give up escorting and get a 'normal' job. :-\ ?
I am thinking about it as I wasn't ever planning on escorting for ever but I cannot stop right now?! I need to work for at least another 3 months - I don't think he will be willing to wait for that long?
It's not nice when people give others ultimatums but if he really likes you he should wait. Perhaps that's an opportunity for you to test him. Otherwise, what is the alternative, can he cover your expenses?
I also agree that everyone is different and everyone has the right to choose their partners however they want. I was just being objective regarding hypocrisy etc but at the end of the day it's different strokes for different folks.
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Hi SS
I did think about asking him covering my expenses if I stopped working. But I would feel like an escort on a 'retainer', I wouldn't feel comfortable. If he offered to do so? Yes, I would accept his help as it would make my life a lot easier.
So, I think he will just have to wait until the time is right for me (3 months). If we make it to that long of course.
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I wouldn't leave escorting in order to be someone's partner. If he purposes to marry me I would think about it because marriage is much more serious commitment. Switching to "normal" job is big change for most of us and changing your lifestyle completely to satisfy someone's desires is a big NO for me. At the end the chance we split up is big and I will have to start from the beggining (probably spend big part of my savings). Not saying that if you marry you wont divorce but then at least you are more sure in his feelings. Not to mention that probably the bigger part of us have goals and targets which is why we are in this bussines so we build up stable future and leaving all your plans and changing your life completely is somethint that I wouldn't do. Of course that's just my opinion and whatever you decide to do I wish you to good luck. Happiness is what matters :P
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Hi SS
I did think about asking him covering my expenses if I stopped working. But I would feel like an escort on a 'retainer', I wouldn't feel comfortable. If he offered to do so? Yes, I would accept his help as it would make my life a lot easier.
So, I think he will just have to wait until the time is right for me (3 months). If we make it to that long of course.
Has he quit punting for good for you?
Personally I wouldn't be giving up escorting for a man I had been with for such a short space of time, who also had a girlfriend but that's me.
An escort I know dated a client before and she told me how she stopped escorting whilst with him because he didn't like it then she found out he was still seeing escorts behind her back. I agree with SweetAngel that unless this man was going to marry me and it was serious I wouldn't be giving it up. He knew what he was getting into when he met you. X
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Hi SS
I did think about asking him covering my expenses if I stopped working. But I would feel like an escort on a 'retainer', I wouldn't feel comfortable. If he offered to do so? Yes, I would accept his help as it would make my life a lot easier.
So, I think he will just have to wait until the time is right for me (3 months). If we make it to that long of course.
I understand. I value my independence but grew up in an environment where sharing was given. When there is someone really special I automatically want to share everything without second thought. It is actually shocking for someone to ask for such an ultimatum that puts your living at risk and do nothing to support, especially by a man! You're definitely in the right mindset imo. I hope it works out x
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Thanks ladies, your insights have given me a lot to think about 🤔
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I married one and sex is not central to our relationship.
if you're happy and no sex is needed, you've done well. May long it may continue.
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if you're happy and no sex is needed, you've done well. May long it may continue.
I am not sure if Mirror meant no sex by saying that sex is not central. For me sex is also not central in a relationship, sex is great but there are more ways to be intimate. But I couldn't be in a relationship without any intimacy whatsoever.