Poor guy, you just broke his heart because you’re breaking up with him for no reason. He’s not getting any closure and that’s extremely painful. Honestly…I would sit with him and lay your cards in the table. Tell him your problem, if he can’t foot your bill then he needs to understand you are in the midst of a small financial crisis and may need to escort for some time and may need some space. He’s a player and know you’ve been in the game so it’s not like a massive surprise. Obviously if you don’t trust him and believe he’s going to rat you out to your job or family then I’ll eat my words, don’t say nothing apart that you’re going through a major crisis and plan to get a job as a caretaker in the evenings.

He was very clingy and completely changed as a person over the last few months, should I try that angle if he asks why I ghosted all of a sudden?

This here is the definition of gaslighting, a form of emotional manipulation. I hope you don't go ahead with this and make it seem like its his fault. I agree with others here in that you need to openly speak with him about it. You said you want to see him after you get money in a few week/months, but you're not giving him a choice as he might not want to see you. If you can't tell him then you should completely break things off and not string him along, allow him to move on.

I'm sorry if this is sounding judgemental, I don't mean to be. I'm thinking about if someone did this to me, how I would feel. And I hope you can do the same and imagine how you would feel if he suddenly broken things with you with no explanation. You'd be wondering whether it was something you did, whether he found someone else, etc. He is probably hurt and at the moment you've given him no closure so if you can't tell him you should cut him off entirely.

In short, come clean or let him move on for good...

Difficult to say. You can't really  expect gim to wait around for months it isn't fair. You could say you need a break fir a certain amount if time because you have a lot going on and need to do overtime at work. But it sounds like he'd questun this a lot. You could say you have bad anxiety abd can cope with extra stresses right now.

I’m in a weird predicament and I wanted to come here because I don’t think anywhere else will give me non-judgemental advice.

I dated a man who I met while working. We were going great, having plans to even get married and have children. I then received a huge tax bill from HMRC that was caused by them not properly taking into account/deducting student loans from my civvie job salary. I tried to suddenly breaks things off with my boyfriend which confused him seeing as we were going steady, but I just knew I couldn’t pull off doing it behind his back, especially since he already knew what I used to do.

I broke up with him, I kept trying to cut him off fully and not see him again, but I didn’t have the balls to stick to my resolution. Especially since he would keep asking why I had changed my mind so suddenly, which would always make me nervous since he can’t ever know the truth as to why.

I tried working behind his back for a week (after breaking up but still FWB) but the issue was I couldn’t pick up phone calls due to working so late. When we did call, he asked “why the fuck haven’t you picked up for the whole week?” We had planned to meet up the next day but I knew that if I met him IRL I wouldn’t be able to account for my absence without giving myself away and so I just texted him saying that I was done with the situation and didn’t want to see him anymore (I had tried doing this previously but didn’t have the bottle to stick to it).

Since then I’ve been ignoring calls and responding to texts sporadically. I’m hoping to stack up the money I need and then see him in some weeks/months. How should I account for suddenly ghosting him when I had plans to meet the next day and not answering calls without him finding out? I want to continue doing this for some time and just be friends with him. I’ve told him over and over that I would never go back but here I am. I also tried to cut things off a few times, which might help. He was very clingy and completely changed as a person over the last few months, should I try that angle if he asks why I ghosted all of a sudden? What excuses would you girls use in my situation? Do bare in mind he’s a former player himself and it’s literally how we met (plus I quit and went back to it once in the past before).

Thank you. Even writing this out has helped. Please don’t ask me to come clean to him, I absolutely can’t do that.

I get where you're coming from but ghosting someone is extremely cruel and if done over and over again can cause ptsd trauma: I know that may sound a bit dramatic but I have been there so I know. But as I said I fully get your predicament as it's worrying so tbh if I were in that situation I would tell him I don't want to be with him anymore and then leave it and let him move on with someone else, I am not judging btw.

I have told him this in person multiple times. I broke up with him a few months ago but told him I’d meet up with him but less frequently. I know I’ve been cruel (you’re not being judgemental - just telling it like it is). I really miss him and don’t want it to be the end, especially in such a rushed and terrible way. I don’t know if I’ll be able to talk my way out of it but he deserves better than this whole situation.

So you have gone from I'm assuming being in love with this guy, wanting to marry him, have kids together and building a future with him to sacking him off because of a money issue that is your own.

To get to the marriage and kids stage of a relationship you should trust each other enough to share the good as well as the bad, I don't think you trust him, however that's not because he's not trustworthy  it's because you don't trust yourself and you are tarring him by your standard

You should be fighting hmrc together not ghosting the poor guy

I think it’s cruel to ghost someone, hurt them with no real reason and then think you can expect them to be okay when you want to come back to them when it suits you only. That’s really just a bit of a head fuck and I say that as someone who has been on the receiving end of this kind of treatment.

I dated a client some time back who pretty much did this exact thing (minus the tax bill) and what you’re calling clingy is actually just a normal response to feeling hurt and wanting to gain some understanding of why someone who supposedly cares/cared about you would treat you that way. Don’t gaslight him into thinking this is his doing.

Do the kind thing and stay out of his life, let him move on and be happy. It’s absolutely draining to start moving forward and have someone who knows they’re hurting you just pop up whenever they feel like it to then repeat the process again. It absolutely broke me and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.