SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Jen_000 on 30 July 2015, 03:57:48 am
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Last night I met a client that seemed very normal over the phone, he gave me his email address with his real name on it. I stupidly didn't google it before the meet. The meet started with him trying to start being intimate before he had paid. He happily paid when I mentioned it. Next he starts deep french kissing which I hate and can not do, he was just eating the lower half of my face. I tell him I don't like kissing that deeply. So he starts licking my stomach and he asks if I like that I say lets do something else. We go on to owo and he really smelt and tasted bad so I told him he can take a quick shower and he got really offended and said he'd had a bath just before. He refused to take a shower so I told him to just wash with baby wipes. He still smelt but I gave him owo while hes looking over me with his sweat from his face literally pouring off and dripping on me, I was more than disgusted. I really wanted to end the booking but it was only half an hour.
I bought the condoms he requested and when I got them out to have sex he started going on about how I hadn't got the right one out, I showed him the packet and he shut up. He couldn't really get hard so I gave him a hand job in the 5 minutes left. Once he came he went "that was fucking shit" and took the condom off and threw it at the wall. He shoved me to the side and started getting dressed and having a go at me about how bad it was and how I was rude and shouldn't make people "feel like that". I was really shocked as I felt he had been the difficult and inappropriate one for trying to start a booking by trying to get intimate as soon as he was through the door, even without payment. Then he had the nerve to have a go at me for asking for the payment up front and said that you only ask for it after. I was still just shocked at this point standing in the corner thinking what the heck was going on. He next gets his wallet out and starts saying that he's checking it to make sure I've not stolen from him and counts all his money. We had been in the same room in sight of each other for the half an hour, so there was no way I could steal. Anyway we both get dressed and I see him out quickly, as I'm walking him to the door he says how he's going to leave bad feedback which I don't care about at this point.
I later check my feedback and he makes a deal of the kissing, owo and says no value for money. He also put on the feedback that I'm eastern European, which I'm clearly not. It's not an insult in any way, but he obviously thinks it is (explained next), I'm English, with a regional accent.
The next problem is that I left him negative feedback about everything that went wrong. His response was that he had contacted the police and my flat owner for "disturbing the peace".[potentially identifying information redacted] I shouldn't have been so surprised at his behavior. I don't know if I've done anything wrong, I just wanted him to know I knew who he was and have seen his blog which shows how racist and sexist he is. I'm worried he's going to come back and do something because he knows where I live, and lives close by.[potentially identifying information redacted.]
I don't know where to start with what I'm worried about, that he'll come back and threaten me or worse, turn up when my family or friends are visiting, has actually reported me to the police or landlord (what I did wrong I have no idea) or that I had sex with a guy that somehow thinks rape, paedophilia and murder is justified.Obviously I think it's fine going to escorts - but he writes about escorting, while trying to come across as an outsider, what worries me is if he's writing about and justifying paedophilia what does that say about him??
I wish I hadn't googled this guy but now I don't know what to do to protect myself. I was lucky with the incall as nothing violent happened but he obviously thinks he is being exploited (from his blog stating it's men being exploited in prostitution). Should I still be worried, has anything like this happened to anyone else? What can I do now to protect myself? And what if he really did report me to my landlord and police - would I be in trouble?
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I'm sorry to hear you've had this horrendous experience. Sounds like you've got your head screwed on and you handled it very well. It must've been awful reading all that about him. He sounds utterly hideous, and dangerous. It seems like he got off on making you feel uncomfortable, with the intention of making you feel dirty and worthless - likely to be projection of his feelings towards himself. He didn't like the fact that you remained in control, like when you told him to pay, shower, didn't put up with his crap about the condom. He expects women 'like us' to be submissive and not to question him, and certainly never to call the shots!
I can't imagine the police would be interested, as no crime has been committed. So say he does call up about you disturbing the peace..who is he? A neighbour? No. A disgruntled huffy moron who resents paying for sex, especially by someone with the audacity to tell him to wash his stinky willy! He would also need to know who your landlord is to be able to complain to them. I doubt he'd be able to find that out very quickly. He didn't get his kicks when seeing you as you handled it, so therefore he's doing his best to make you feel uncomfortable now. Sounds like hot air to me.
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Try not to over worry yourself as I think this whinge bag is just trying to play mind games to gain some power over you. Seems like he has too much time on his hands if he's writing blogs & threatening about contacting your landlord & the police etc. As pussycat says, that's probably an empty threat. I don't think you'll hear anything more from him but do contact the police if he causes you any more bother. You can have him up on harassment charges if he persists to threaten you.
You have every right to refuse owo if someone has bad hygiene, stick a condom on it next time. ;) Put it down to a bad experience & try to ignore his blogs & feedback. You stood up for yourself & that's the best thing to do in this situation.
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Jen, can you give us info on your location, a first name, physical description and phone number for him (last two digits removed)?
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Jen, can you give us info on your location, a first name, physical description and phone number for him (last two digits removed)?
She can, but it needs to be in the form of a warning, posted in the appropriate fornat/section, and not include any personally identifying information similar to the content I removed earlier - I could have identified this person in under thirty seconds with a spot of Googling, and anybody else who saw it would have likely been able to also.
Please remember that this is what the PM system is for :).
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It turns out he really did contact the police, they came to my flat to check my safety and said I wasn't in trouble, and that the guy who called claimed to be worried about my safety. They said he sounded drunk on the phone and that it was very odd when he called. However they also advised me that he had contacted my landlord (there's a poster outside advertising available flats) and I think he must have because someone came before to lock all the other room doors. He's also contacted the university which wouldn't be so bad, but he has a picture of my face that I'd sent him to his email. He doesn't know my real name or age but he could have sent the picture to them.
Obviously I'm not going to do incalls from here anymore but I'm so embarrassed, my parents are a guarantor on the flat and I'm worried I'm going to be kicked out and my parents contacted by my landlord, and I don't know what my uni will do. If my lecturers know I'll literally never be able to go back again.
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Well the police will think he's a complete idiot and he'll probably now have a note on his sheet for wasting police time, if he doesn't already (and I doubt it's the first time he's tried crap like this on somebody who he took umbrage with, even if it wasn't related to sex work). Did you tell them about him threatening you? If not, do.
You're not breaking the law, but you're probably in breach of your lease so I'd wait to hear from your landlord and have a sob story ready - don't panic too much until you know if anything will come of it though, as nothing might. If you get along with your landlord and have been a good tenant, you may get to at least stay until you can have a proper look for somewhere else more suitable.
As for the university, with a few exceptions course-wise, it's none of their business what you do in your free time any more than it would be if you were working in a pub or at Burger King. You're not going to be the first student sex worker they've known about if they know at all, and you certainly won't be the last :).
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It turns out he really did contact the police, they came to my flat to check my safety and said I wasn't in trouble, and that the guy who called claimed to be worried about my safety. They said he sounded drunk on the phone and that it was very odd when he called. However they also advised me that he had contacted my landlord (there's a poster outside advertising available flats) and I think he must have because someone came before to lock all the other room doors. He's also contacted the university which wouldn't be so bad, but he has a picture of my face that I'd sent him to his email. He doesn't know my real name or age but he could have sent the picture to them.
Obviously I'm not going to do incalls from here anymore but I'm so embarrassed, my parents are a guarantor on the flat and I'm worried I'm going to be kicked out and my parents contacted by my landlord, and I don't know what my uni will do. If my lecturers know I'll literally never be able to go back again.
+ What Amy said.
I would also prepare a story if landlord calls you. Something in the lines of "this is an ex of mine who I very recently dumped because he has a drinking problem, so I started to date someone else and now he's getting all vindictive bla bla bla... and he started stalking me so I had to go the police and file a restraining order against him"
The landlord might feel a bit overwhelmed by the "drama", roll his eyes and pay no attention. If you've been a good tenant, payed on time, has no compaints from you etc... he'll most probably do nothing. Landlords usually have better things to do than "to kick a lady in distress -who pays rent in time- because she happens to have an ex-boyfriend turned stalker".