You could post in the Buddy section here if you want some support, but I think most of us would be wary of 'mentoring' somebody new in the sense that we'd feel responsible if something went wrong. Incitement laws aside (and they're worth considering), I know I'd feel terrible if I tried to give somebody advice and it was a disaster - what works for one person just won't work for another.
I think you're reading too much into 'warnings', from what I can remember from your other threads. Also bear in mind that timewaters are the first people to contact newbies (even for any of us who go to work in a different location for the first time) so it's not an instant fix, and like any business it takes time to get moving.
Are there any parlours near you? The money is definitely less, but it's a place to work plus company and security and you don't need to worry about screening or advertising either