Okay guys I need some advice

A few months ago my boyfriend found out i was escorting and I vowed to stop, and as a result we lost evrything, the house, I had zero moeny and we had to move back sepretly to our parents house, We are not completly right and we are trying to work together,  I have a part time job and start soon, I know i should change and I love him so so much, but i just cant bring myself too change, I loved escorting and it just didnt effect me and I would like to continue doing it, but i see no way, as he is watching my evry move, he will be looking on adultwork for me and i dont live in a massave city, is thee any ideas you might have?

Also, My partner just wont have sex with me, I have no Idea how to approch and try and make it right between us, im a size 22 and i LOVE my body its sexy scaly and just hot stuff, but i know without the escorting, without the confadance boost and the moeny to make me look and feel good it soon enugh will go, so ideas guys.

Kind regards
Hay x

I also like the job and I have decided that I will not have a boyfriend during the time I work. I have had many boyfriend before, since I was 13 LOL but it was long term relation and I just like to have sex with other men so much and I know that not many men can understand it. You must decide what you like and explain to your boyfriend what is going on. Sneaking for an appointment is not good idea, better tell him.

I think the main problem is that here on SAAFE, none of us are qualified to really tell anyone else what to do with their boyfriend/husband/partner/whatever. And most of us are acutely aware of how irritating it can be to receive unwanted bad advice.

Obviously, the OP is looking for advice. And I'm glad for everyone in this thread who is enjoying the world of prostitution - this industry can provide confidence, independence and lots of marketing & customer service skills. Not to mention free time and the ability to travel almost anywhere and do almost anything you want.

If you have a boyfriend who is in some way hindering your life and desires - well, why is he your boyfriend? But I'm the opposite of a relationship expert - I'm not going to be in one while I'm working. But I also know nothing about other peoples' lives and so do try to keep out. I'd imagine that other women and men here are similarly hesitant to step in and say anything - the answer seems obvious but of course things are always more complicated in reality.

Why doesn't the OP try searching the forum for old threads about relationships? This is a potential search and it has tons!

very true. Apologies.

If you want direct advice, well I'd say dump him as well. At least for me dealing with both financial and relationship problems would be too much and if you feel escorting is what you want, you should maybe put your job before your relationship at this time in your life.

It is possible to find a partner who is okay with your job. And no, he doesn't have to be a client/a pimp/a perv.

Hi Hayley

All i can say really is that in that if you love him and you see this man as your future husband and he will not tolerate you being an escort then you cant be an escort. Others may have differing opinions of course but in my own humble opinion if you really love and care for someone then you don't lie to them or do things behind their backs that will cause them huge amounts of pain if you are found out.

I speak from someone who has been in a relationship for 4 years and who has being escorting for 2 of those years after being made redundant. My fiance knows what i do and he hates it. The pain it has caused us has being immeasurable and i can firmly say that although we still love each other very much we are not the same couple we were 2 years ago and this fact causes me immense sadness.

Escorting and relationships in the majority of cases do not work and really why should they? what man should really feel comfortable with the woman he loves being intimate with other men? The fact that it is just a job and just for money rarely makes it any easier. I could not cope if the tables were turned in my relationship (utterly hypocritical of me of course) The thought of my gorgeous other half with another woman makes me feel utterly ill.

So basically you have 3 options, give up your boyfriend, give up escorting or continue escorting and lie to your boyfriend. If you take the 3 rd option then believe you me it wont be long before he finds out, men are very resourceful when it comes to things like that. If your last 2 years with him have been the best 2 of your life do you really want to walk away from that? It is hard to find a good partner in the best of circumstances so you need to decide if you are happy to go down a path that will mean you are likely to lose someone so important to you.

Also with regards to the sex thing, has he just stopped having sex since he found out about you escorting? If it has been since then that is one thing as its probably a reaction to what you are both going through. If though its been a problem from before this time then thats an entirely different kettle of fish. Sex is an important part of a realtionship and theres nothing makes you feel more like shite than a partner who doesnt want to sleep with you. If the only thing making you feel good about your body is the fact that clients desire you then thats not a good sign for your relationship. It should be your partners job to make you feel sexy not paying clients.
Sorry if i sound like I'm preaching (and i know it sounds like i am) best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

First off I would like to say that what I'm about to type is in no way meant to be mean but I warn you, you may not like it at all.

A good relationship cannot happen if there is no trust and if he is watching your every move then he does not trust you. If he is or will be looking on escort sites to see if you're on them, he does not trust you. If you truly believe that you love him and want to be with him then you should not even be considering doing escort work behind his back. Building back the trust between you both will be a long and hard road, and if he finds out that you have lied to him that trust that you have worked so hard to build back up will be gone in an instant.

As for him not wanting to sleep with you, I suspect that it is because you have been an escort which is putting him off. While they don't show them as much as we do, men can have alot of insecurities, especially when sexual partners are concerned. He could be worried about your sexual health/his performance in bed/the size of his penis compared to others.

You need to have a sit down with your bloke and have a very long talk about why things between you are the way they currently are and what it is that you both want. I think that just allowing things to continue like they are will do more damage than good.

Lastly. You need to be prepared. It may be that your man will not be able to get past the fact that you have been an escort in the past and that he might want to end the relationship but not know how to go about it without hurting your feelings.

This is purely my opinion and advice on your situation and in the end it is up to you on what you do. I'm not an expert.