SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: IrishTrans on 23 July 2020, 03:05:52 am
-
So in my city let’s just say there is plenty of sex workers from a certain South American country. I’ve been asked on many occasions by clients if I offer bareback as these girls and guys offer the service as they’re on “medications”. Whatever the fuck that means. I said by no means and I mean absolute no means am I letting anyone inside me or penetrating anyone without a condom.
This kind of behaviour pisses me off and I’m seeing it from girls and guys from this particular country constantly now and seen it advertised too before. It’s disgusting and it’s lowering the bar for everyone else. There is no reason why you shouldn’t be using a condom for sex. You’re not only putting yourself at risk but you’re potentially passing on god knows what to clients who could be now at a higher risk of circulating it amongst other sex workers even with condom use. In my opinion why aren’t people offering bareback sex banned from sites immediately. Like they should be banned from using any of the mainstream sites in my opinion if they’re having sex with guys with no condoms. They’re putting us all at a higher risk. God this shit irritates me.
I would honestly love to know if there’s a forum or platform to report sex workers who have this in their profile. It’s really not right at all I don’t care how desperate you are. Clients wouldn’t be asking for this shit in the first place if everyone just point blank refused to offer it. Which they should.
-
"Medications" - PrEP. Protects from being infected with HIV, to my knowledge.
"Why aren't people offering bareback sex banned from using Sex Worker Websites" - because it's a legitimate, legal service and will always be around, whether out in the open or banned and under the table.
I think I might come across blunt there, not intentional, but it's gone 3am and my cat's been furballing ::)
-
I don’t think that they should be banned as it’s at your discretion which services you provide. I personally would never bareback but everyone asks so if some are willing to actually do it then sure go for it I feel. I just personally say no. Go make your coins any way you want guys!
-
So in my city let’s just say there is plenty of sex workers from a certain South American country. I’ve been asked on many occasions by clients if I offer bareback as these girls and guys offer the service as they’re on “medications”. Whatever the fuck that means. I said by no means and I mean absolute no means am I letting anyone inside me or penetrating anyone without a condom.
This kind of behaviour pisses me off and I’m seeing it from girls and guys from this particular country constantly now and seen it advertised too before. It’s disgusting and it’s lowering the bar for everyone else. There is no reason why you shouldn’t be using a condom for sex. You’re not only putting yourself at risk but you’re potentially passing on god knows what to clients who could be now at a higher risk of circulating it amongst other sex workers even with condom use. In my opinion why aren’t people offering bareback sex banned from sites immediately. Like they should be banned from using any of the mainstream sites in my opinion if they’re having sex with guys with no condoms. They’re putting us all at a higher risk. God this shit irritates me.
I would honestly love to know if there’s a forum or platform to report sex workers who have this in their profile. It’s really not right at all I don’t care how desperate you are. Clients wouldn’t be asking for this shit in the first place if everyone just point blank refused to offer it. Which they should.
As always, 'I would...' is fine here on SAAFE. 'You should...' is not, and we'll have no more of it.
Neither you nor anyone else gets to police how consenting adults have sex, and thank God for that; the only person whose choices can put you at risk is you and you have no way of knowing what any punter has been doing and with whom. Mind your own business - if you have enough time on your hands to worry this much about what other people are doing, you need a hobby.
-
So in my city let’s just say there is plenty of sex workers from a certain South American country.
Tiny bit racist tone to this?
-
Sex work not exactly regulated like other jobs. Doesn't seem to have health and safety. Just block anyone who asks for it that's what I do. Some say oral without is bad but I wouldn't get clients without it.
-
Also I have bareback sex with my partner (when I have one) does that mean I should tell every client? The risk is definitely higher doing it for work and I wouldn't
-
Focusing on what others are doing doesn't bring happiness is my piece.
-
I didn't know there was medication to stop people from getting things from unprotected sex. This is JUST MY OPINION but if you are referring to Latino guys and ladies then bare in mind quite a few maybe being forced to do it (pimped) and have no choice and before anyone jumps in to tell me off for that comment I know first hand how hard it is to survive in Latin American Countries without money so also a lot may be choosing to do it to support their families back home. I meant I have seen first hand.
-
I didn't know there was medication to stop people from getting things from unprotected sex.
There isn't.
-
And therefore those sex workers should feel more welcome at sex workers sites, not less or be "banned". As well as the people who don't really want to do other unprotected services but feel like they have to for their business.
One more post has been removed.
-
"Medications" - PrEP. Protects from being infected with HIV, to my knowledge.
"Why aren't people offering bareback sex banned from using Sex Worker Websites" - because it's a legitimate, legal service and will always be around, whether out in the open or banned and under the table.
I think I might come across blunt there, not intentional, but it's gone 3am and my cat's been furballing ::)
It does, but let’s say she has unprotected sex with a punter HIV positive and he cums in her, then another bareback with someone One hour later. She will not catch it but can pass it onto the next one. Plus it doesn’t cover her against any other crap like chlamydia in the slightest
-
If punters don't want to catch anything from having unprotected sex, it's best not to have unprotected sex. We don't have the Sex Police, and nobody is going to tell me (or anybody else here, since I doubt any of us would appreciate it) what I can and can't do with my body - I'm nearly 50 and I'll shag whoever I like, however I like. I don't offer OWO or RO, but I'm not whinging about those who do.
It's.worth pointing out that a lot of people would think we were all pretty desperate for doing sex work in the first place, so pointing the finger and looking down our noses at each other is even less helpful. On the health side, I just assume they're all riddled.:D.
-
If everything that was deemed distasteful or dangerous was banned from SW advertising platforms, the paid BDSM scene would pretty much disappear!
Just protect yourself.
-
What a stupid thing to say, they can offer what ever service they like it THEIR body! Who are YOU to be saying they're lowering the bar??? We're all sex workers, we should be supporting each other it's such a shame to see fellow sw put down other sw. Icouldnt care less what others do with their body and neither should you
-
I'll offer what I like when I like and others can do the same.
It's judgemental ballocks.
-
Well it should be illegal for sex workers to offer or engage in bareback as it is a public health risk. In other countries where the sex industry is legalized it is not allowed, there are strict rules regulating legal sex establishments etc
If it isn't safe it isn't allowed and the whole 'my body my rules' bollocks is not tolerated.
-
Well it should be illegal for sex workers to offer or engage in bareback as it is a public health risk. In other countries where the sex industry is legalized it is not allowed, there are strict rules regulating legal sex establishments etc
If it isn't safe it isn't allowed and the whole 'my body my rules' bollocks is not tolerated.
Well, aren't you a treat? If I no longer retain control over what I do with my body, who do you suggest gets to decide?
I don't know which country you're in, but you must be staggeringly naive if you think that no unprotected services ever happen in these circumstances, and even more so if you can't see that making individual services illegal just holds the door open for a black market to develop and flourish where sex workers can be exploited far more easily.
Plus, what other 'unsafe' activities would be on your hit list? Smoking, drinking alcohol, skiing, riding motorcycles - the former two are certainly far more of a 'public health risk' than a handful of people having unprotected sex for money? Or are you happy for adults to make their own choices in everything else bar shagging? Paid shagging that is, unless you plan to outlaw casual sex without a condom altogether - good luck with that.
Or as Kay has said, you could just concentrate on protecting yourself and direct your energies into something a bit more constructive than judging others and their choices.
As always, 'I would...' is fine here on SAAFE. 'You should...' is not, and we'll have no more of it.
I won't say it again.
-
Well it should be illegal for sex workers to offer or engage in bareback as it is a public health risk. In other countries where the sex industry is legalized it is not allowed, there are strict rules regulating legal sex establishments etc
If it isn't safe it isn't allowed and the whole 'my body my rules' bollocks is not tolerated.
and that's why legalisation is rubbish and most sex workers want decriminalisation instead (and yes, I know NZ has condom laws, but imo it shouldn't). More criminalisation isn't going to help anyone.
Any sex worker who only offers protected services could also be going out shagging civvies without protection at the weekend. Mind your own business and stop worrying about others.
-
My. This escalated quickly.
I can’t control what others do, only myself. Well, I guess that’s not necessarily true; I CAN control if the client uses a condom or not, & by god & by damn HE WILL😡.
Just worry about your own self.
-
I doubt there even from South America just saying that plus i doubt they all offer bareback probably just say that thinking it will bring in more work.
But even if they do offer it or any other nationalities or English women it is not really our business to out them or even judge them really. So many seem to really go into one over sex workers offering bareback but many are offering OWO and CIM which carry a lot of risks too but there busy judging barebackers. I really don't get it. If your taking risks unprotected whether it's vaginal sex or oral both carry risks.
Just being a sex worker is a big risk anyway.
-
So many seem to really go into one over sex workers offering bareback but many are offering OWO and CIM which carry a lot of risks too but there busy judging barebackers. I really don't get it. If your taking risks unprotected whether it's vaginal sex or oral both carry risks.
Yep, two SPs that I've heard of over the years were spreading gonorrhoea orally, and also, at my local GUM clinic they don't give you a throat swab even if you ask for one.
-
I doubt there even from South America just saying that plus i doubt they all offer bareback probably just say that thinking it will bring in more work.
But even if they do offer it or any other nationalities or English women it is not really our business to out them or even judge them really. So many seem to really go into one over sex workers offering bareback but many are offering OWO and CIM which carry a lot of risks too but there busy judging barebackers. I really don't get it. If your taking risks unprotected whether it's vaginal sex or oral both carry risks.
Just being a sex worker is a big risk anyway.
For me then it’s a problem in a parlour when a girl does it but when she is an indie then I see it differently and if you worked in a parlour then I’m pretty certain you wouldn’t like it if you yourself had covered sex, every sp in a parlour dreads the BB girls!
I can see why some do it, for the extra cash but I value my health above money and so I guess sometimes I expect everyone to see it the same as me.
It’s also more risky having unprotected sex compared to unprotected oral, it’s why oral without is far more common that BB.
-
Yep, two SPs that I've heard of over the years were spreading gonorrhoea orally, and also, at my local GUM clinic they don't give you a throat swab even if you ask for one.
I mean, I literally went public (as did another girl) saying I had it. If someone didn't stand up and say it, how many other people would have been infected? Your post makes it seem like it was deliberate!
-
What services a SW provides should be entirely their own choice, not the "sex police", pimps or punters.
-
You get various personalities in society. I think it is the escorts business what they do in their lives.
I offer protected services and it doesn't mean I should hate on others. I would rather put spare time into manifesting desire in my personal life.
-
I mean, I literally went public (as did another girl) saying I had it. If someone didn't stand up and say it, how many other people would have been infected? Your post makes it seem like it was deliberate!
Not at all - I was just pointing out that OWO spreads STIs, re. others judging those who do bareback.
-
Not at all - I was just pointing out that OWO spreads STIs, re. others judging those who do bareback.
I was told by a Gum nurse once that OWO in sex workers seem to spread more STI's then the odd small percentage probably doing bareback vaginal sex with clients. Makes sense though as a lot of sex workers do OWO. This is why i won't judge sex workers who offer bareback and could spread infections because anyone offering unprotected services can spread infections and it mostly will come from OWO as so many offer it.
Don't get me wrong clients who try to get bareback with me or ask for it i don't like it one bit as i don't offer it and i will make a note of them but i just honestly do not get the views that OWO is suddenly safe and do not pass on infections and bareback is the only one that does.
I think some might need to do a bit more research into how OWO CIM spreads infections too and from what i was told by a Gum Clinic a lot more in sex workers then probably the smaller amount that offer bareback.
Obviously Irish Trans never said if she offers everything protected but if she is offering OWO then the hypocrisy is shocking.
-
For me then it’s a problem in a parlour when a girl does it but when she is an indie then I see it differently and if you worked in a parlour then I’m pretty certain you wouldn’t like it if you yourself had covered sex, every sp in a parlour dreads the BB girls!
I can see why some do it, for the extra cash but I value my health above money and so I guess sometimes I expect everyone to see it the same as me.
It’s also more risky having unprotected sex compared to unprotected oral, it’s why oral without is far more common that BB.
You say more risky having unprotected sex but StI's are caught more from OWO in sex workers then the ones just doing bareback. Ideal world yes it would be nice if everybody used a condom to not pass on infections but that is not how it is now. I am not saying bareback in sex workers is a good thing obviously if asked i would say don't risk offering it but those providing OWO are also responsible for spreading STI's. If someone catches Gonnoreah from offering OWO to clients and passes it on and another sex worker catches Gonnoreah and passes it on from doing bareback it equals same result.
All this is is glass houses. I had a past acquaintance in sex work who used to offer every service going apart from unprotected vaginal sex and she said to me she had a woman in her local town who advertised doing bareback and she hated her and wanted rid of her so she told me she started a campaign to get rid by using male friends to do fake bookings and freak her out and then sent her profile round to neighbours to out her as sex worker and one doing bareback and this is coming from someone who has caught 2 STI's that she told me previously about and never knew so passed it on to how many more clients. But she thinks she is above the local barebacker. Anyway i told her she was a hypocrite and i don't like women who turn on other women to out them to neighbours because they think somehow they are special and different.
I can understand it a little more coming from sex workers who only offer everything safe and do not agree with barebackers but i find it really odd coming from sex workers who also contribute to STI risks. I know quite a few sex workers over the years that offer OWO and quite a few have caught Gonorreah, Syphilis, Hepatitis, Chlamydia some have even caught them 3 or 4 times But the ones offering vaginal intercourse unprotected are the ones always judged and attacked.
-
I was told by a Gum nurse once that OWO in sex workers seem to spread more STI's then the odd small percentage probably doing bareback vaginal sex with clients. Makes sense though as a lot of sex workers do OWO. This is why i won't judge sex workers who offer bareback and could spread infections because anyone offering unprotected services can spread infections and it mostly will come from OWO as so many offer it.
When I actually went in to my clinic (SW only) they actually said it was pretty rare to see someone catch it from OWO and it was likely to do with another health issue I had at the time. I wish they would take a stance on it where they would ALL AGREE. :FF
The thing that actually irritates me more than anything in this situation are those who
1. offer it 'on the sly'
2. do not cross check clients.
Too many preachy preachy arguments.
We are all responsible for our OWN health. Alas I knew some people didn't care, which is why I went public when I picked something up.
-
When you say you went public with it do you mean you wrote it on your work profile? Or you just contacted everyone you had seen to inform them?
-
Did this GUM Nurse have double blind , multiple- site, random and peer reviewed evidence to back up what appears to be at best her/his anecdotal opinion ?
-
.
-
When you say you went public with it do you mean you wrote it on your work profile? Or you just contacted everyone you had seen to inform them?
My site. Email. Punter forums. Whatsapp sex work groups. Sex worker/clients forums,
Yep, pretty much everyone!
-
It’s up to the individual and not something that can be policed anyway. I would prefer those who offer it to do so openly, as that way, I can pick up on it when I am screening someone.
I do not offer BB and will not see a man who has engaged with an SP who offers it. That’s not because I think the SP is the risk, it’s that I think the man might be a bit of a risk taker and participate in other reckless behaviour.
-
The risks of getting an STD from unprotected oral sex are typically much lower than the risks posed by having unprotected vaginal or anal sex, Warren says.5 Sep 2011
[link removed]
This is from Wikipedia, I always thought unprotected oral was less risky than unprotected sex but some here disagree so I thought I would copy and paste the above.
-
The risks of getting an STD from unprotected oral sex are typically much lower than the risks posed by having unprotected vaginal or anal sex, Warren says.5 Sep 2011
[link removed]
This is from Wikipedia, I always thought unprotected oral was less risky than unprotected sex but some here disagree so I thought I would copy and paste the above.
There is a lot that do get Gonorreah and Chlamydia etc from oral sex but obviously the risk of HIV is lower risk from oral but higher from unprotected vaginal or anal sex.
Saying that though the risk for HIV by oral is low but i do remember hearing that they do not always know how many might even catch it through oral as most do sex and oral who have contracted HIV and as it is caught easier through vagina or anal hard to even know exactly hpw it has been contracted. HIV does not seem to be the death sentence like it was years ago but even so nobody would want to catch it though. I was told by Gum nurse HIV is not as common now days compared to Chlamydia and Gonnoreah.
But i am comparing risks mainly to sex workers who see lots of different men every month rather then someone who might only have a few sexual partners in a couple of years.
-
Basically any unprotected sexual acts are risky and we are all taking risks but in a parlour or an agency then obviously the girls that offer BB are putting others at risk by offering it as lots of clients tend to go with all the girls and they do your head in by trying to get you to do it, in their mind if one girl gets pestered enough and just gives in then they think we are all the same, there is a certain mentality with parlour clients that Indy clients just don’t have, parlour clients are hardcore and sleazy and I’m not saying that AW clients aren’t, or can’t be, but I find them much easier to deal with both sexually and mentally, that’s been my experience anyway.
When a client asks me on the phone pre-booking if I’ll have BB sex then I just won’t take his booking but in a parlour then they don’t ask you until your naked and half way through the booking and as much as I would’ve loved to kick clients like that out of the room, then I would’ve been sacked in an instant if I did.
I don’t care if Indy girls want to offer BB as it doesn’t affect me, I think they are silly for doing so regardless if they are taking PrEP, because why would you want to have unprotected sex with a client anyway, but when you don’t work alone then it’s a hindrance to all the others which is why they are looked down upon and it’s why the other girls make sure they don’t last long because it affects us, and it’s easy to say “just say no” but they don’t just ask once, they badger you and badger you to the point you want to slap them and it’s a huge mark of disrespect for them to even ask, I have given many men lectures about BB but all they say is “it feels better” with no regard to their wife, cheating on their wives is one thing and I would have a cheek to judge them for it but at least be a safe cheater.
HIV is only possible through oral sex if you had an open cut and he comes in the mouth, the sexual health clinic advises to wait 24 hours after dental work so to lower the risk of any infections.
-
There is a lot that do get Gonorreah and Chlamydia etc from oral sex but obviously the risk of HIV is lower risk from oral but higher from unprotected vaginal or anal sex.
Saying that though the risk for HIV by oral is low but i do remember hearing that they do not always know how many might even catch it through oral as most do sex and oral who have contracted HIV and as it is caught easier through vagina or anal hard to even know exactly hpw it has been contracted. HIV does not seem to be the death sentence like it was years ago but even so nobody would want to catch it though. I was told by Gum nurse HIV is not as common now days compared to Chlamydia and Gonnoreah.
But i am comparing risks mainly to sex workers who see lots of different men every month rather then someone who might only have a few sexual partners in a couple of years.
A GUM nurse told me that that kissing spreads every STI from herpes to HIV, so all SW's that offer kissing (GFE) are engaging in unprotected sex are riddled with disease(s) and and spreading them. A gum nurse me that EG, so it must me true right ?
-
A GUM nurse told me that that kissing spreads every every STI from herpes to HIV, so all SW's that offer kissing are engaging in unprotected sex are riddled with disease(s) and and spreading them. A gum nurse me that EG, so it must me true right ?
HIV can’t be spread from kissing at all unless there was an open wound in the mouth that got some blood into it from infected person, HIV is spread from blood to blood or from semen to inside the anus or vagina. Herpes is just a cold sore so of course this is spread by kissing and other things.
I have never caught anything from kissing nor have I had a cold sore in my life, someone said that I must be immune from such things..I don’t know about that but now that I’ve said I’ve never had one then I bet I get one now..when I say such things out loud then I it’s like I jinx it and get the thing I said I’ve never had!😆
-
A GUM nurse told me that that kissing spreads every STI from herpes to HIV, so all SW's that offer kissing (GFE) are engaging in unprotected sex are riddled with disease(s) and and spreading them. A gum nurse me that EG, so it must me true right ?
Considering those nurses see people day in day out and would have a more idea of percentages from test results they get i would listen to them more yes...but the above comments i would not listen to and i doubt many sex workers would kiss anyone with any signs of herpes around there mouth.
-
A GUM nurse told me that that kissing spreads every STI from herpes to HIV, so all SW's that offer kissing (GFE) are engaging in unprotected sex are riddled with disease(s) and and spreading them. A gum nurse me that EG, so it must me true right ?
Yes I agree some medical professionals are not always right or well informed ;) A GUM nurse told me I am getting 'money for nothing' as I am a sex provider. They're not without their faults, gaps in knowledge, cultural and religious prejudices. Maybe even trying to influence the sex lives of clients they disapprove or are jealous of.
from www . NHS. UK on kissing and HIV
No. Evidence shows that the HIV virus is spread through the exchange of bodily fluids such as blood, semen and vaginal fluids, but not saliva.
Although HIV can be detected in saliva, it can't be passed to other people through kissing because a combination of antibodies and enzymes found naturally in saliva prevent HIV infecting new cells.
-
I used to provide BB when I first started but really regret ever doing it. I took Prep..I was lucky and didn't get any STDs
. I would Never do it again. I still get some requests but block them straight away. I do worry it affected my reputation.
-
I used to provide BB when I first started but really regret ever doing it. I took Prep..I was lucky and didn't get any STDs
. I would Never do it again. I still get some requests but block them straight away. I do worry it affected my reputation.
I totally appreciate your honesty and at least you changed what you were doing for yourself. Respect and credit where it’s due.
I remember from my parlour days I had gotten my friends friend a job, I told all the girls (I know they’re women but in parlours where I’ve worked then we were always referred to as girls, just before someone gets offended 😀) that this girl was nice, friendly etc etc, so she starts in my place of work and the very first client that she did offered her £50 extra for BB and she did it and told me and a few others and the girls fell out with me for it, needless to say that she didn’t last long but she jumped before we all pushed her out, but I went with the BB client next and for 20 mins out of the 45 he had booked then he pestered me to do it to the point I was nearly in tears due to the sheer disrespect of him asking and if I had have had a decent caring boss then I would’ve left the room and told the boss what he was doing so that I didn’t have to give him the whole time (this place were total sticklers for the exact time, if you were finished 10 mins early then we had to offer £10 back to the client😡) but she wasn’t a decent boss and the clients knew it which is why so many pushed the boundaries of the girls over and over. Anyway going off topic...but this is what it’s like when one girl does it, they assume we are all hard up for money..I just think that this girl is probably riddled now as she is an indie and very very busy and she hasn’t been in the job long enough to be that busy as it can take a while to get good at this job as there’s more to it that being good in the sack.
-
Yes I had to make my screening much stricter and always empathise sex is fully protected no exceptions ever. If anyone asks I save their info and report on client eye that they asked. It's been slow recently but I wouldn't consider doing it even if I didn't make much money one day it's not worth it.
-
Surely the only issue here is if someone feels they have to offer BB for whatever reason and they don't want to. Nobody should feel they have to.
If someone wants to offer it, what's the problem? It's a personal choice. My choice is that I have never offered it and never will but if the next woman wants to that's her choice.
-
Surely the only issue here is if someone feels they have to offer BB for whatever reason and they don't want to. Nobody should feel they have to.
If someone wants to offer it, what's the problem? It's a personal choice. My choice is that I have never offered it and never will but if the next woman wants to that's her choice.
I only dislike it when I’ve worked in parlours and all women in those positions hate it because it adds extra stress to the rest of us and the managers love it because they know the BB will be the busiest there, all they care about is cash and it’s probably why the law loathes these places, because they overlook our safety for money.
-
I only dislike it when I’ve worked in parlours and all women in those positions hate it because it adds extra stress to the rest of us and the managers love it because they know the BB will be the busiest there, all they care about is cash and it’s probably why the law loathes these places, because they overlook our safety for money.
The managers/ receptionists would love it you are only pieces of meat to them they do not care what you do as long as you are popular and bring them in the money.
What you are describing is how it used to be when not many used to do OWO and the odd one that did would be busy and earn more then the women who offered everything protected.
There was a time when OWO was really looked down on and some places would even let you go if found to be doing it but some of the pimps used to take advantage by encouraging others to do it or get not much work. I do remember some would tell you will not catch anything from OWO it is safe and best to swallow as less risk just to get more doing it. Some were naive to fall for it.
Times just change and now bareback has taken over from the now very common OWO. There is a lot more doing it on the sly you get told by clients and they say the same stuff about certain women so in some cases you know it is true they do not even always charge extra just give it to get repeat business. Not something i would want to do at all but i just think let them get on with it. I just want to worry about my own health and choose what type of clients i might want to see.
There is danger everyday in this industry i worry more about robberies and aggressive clients then some offering bareback. I am not offering OWO in my services at the moment so my only sexual worry would mainly be if a condom split but i always assume clients get about and a lot are married and have no problem cheating whilst getting unprotected services. This job is always full of risks and there always be others more busy with what they offer. We all just do what we do.