SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: northernstar on 05 October 2020, 11:17:15 pm
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I would like to explore this side of business and wonder how have the dommes on here start? Are there any workshops or trainings available by more experienced dommes anywhere ?
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Hi,
I started as an escort almost 6 years ago and after a while, I started mixing in BDSM acticities. I found this to be extremely popular as full Dommes generally dont offer sexual services. I was always really busy. Fast forward a few years and I felt I had built up enough experience and knowledge to go full Domme and drop the sexual stuff, mainly because I no longer wanted to offer it.
I much prefer how I operate now. My learning has been all self taught really but did access online resources through youtube and signed up to a few content sites to watch other Domme's content and see what they did and how they did it.
I know on Fetlife there are networking groups in my area, mertups etc, and occasionally some workshops advertised. SoI'd definitely try Fetlife and see what's on in your local area.
Good luck!
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Hey VG
OK, so just by experience. Have you openly started to advertise domme along with GFE then? And gradually moved to domme only?
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Yes, I was offering GFE with BDSM for a few years. Some clients wanted just BDSM, some wanted just GFE and some wanted a mix of both. It was the best of both worlds from the client's perspective.
I am BDSM only now and still have a very good client base.
Either can work, so long as you are good at it!
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Yes, I was offering GFE with BDSM for a few years. Some clients wanted just BDSM, some wanted just GFE and some wanted a mix of both. It was the best of both worlds from the client's perspective.
I am BDSM only now and still have a very good client base.
Either can work, so long as you are good at it!
I'm completely the same! I'm offering domme service alongside GFE but recently my dominatrix services got so popular that I have quiet few customers who wants only this. I'm thinking about preparing my dome persona with website and separate accounts to offer domme services only and see how it goes.
Can I ask what UK area you're working in?
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I recently took an online training with a Pro Domme, found it really useful both for usual clients as well as those for which I am/have been providing some punishment, discipline, and other more dominant (on my behalf) services. Gave me plenty of ideas and I will be developing that side of things further, as well as taking some tips into more vanilla side.
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Hi I do domme I sort of just fell into it as I love being in control and don’t have many boundaries when it comes to hurting men haha, I’d look at porn if I were you because that’s where the guys who come for domme sessions get their ideas from. I don’t offer gfe at all as that would be giving them pleasure I don’t have sex or give them oral and they love it makes them feel more worthless and turned on I always tell them they could never pleasure a woman properly it’s hilarious, good luck hun xx
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Like others I started just with straight sex work and started getting more and more into kink and domination. There are lots of different ways you can be a 'domme', you can be broad ranging or specialise in a certain style, so more erotic domme (I think you can dominate someone with sex if its done in the right way for example), more severe domme (corporal punishment, caging, humiliation), more kinky domme (strapon, sissification, foot fetish, ass fetish) and so on. A good way to start is with light tie and tease and then start building in nipple play, spanking etc. There are dommes on youtube giving tutorials on more serious stuff and learning about basic anatomy is a must.
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Hi there,
I too progressed from escort work to Domme and fetish.
It’s a whole different world.
No Messer’s. All genuine clients. They want YOU to control them so they’re putty in your hands.
It’s whole new level of respect and I never encountered any nasty rip off behaviour that I sometimes met doing escort work. I often received gifts and generous donations.
Also the specific domme /Mistress sites are easier to advertise on than Adult work.
Elaine xx
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Hi there,
I too progressed from escort work to Domme and fetish.
It’s a whole different world.
No Messer’s. All genuine clients. They want YOU to control them so they’re putty in your hands.
It’s whole new level of respect and I never encountered any nasty rip off behaviour that I sometimes met doing escort work. I often received gifts and generous donations.
Also the specific domme /Mistress sites are easier to advertise on than Adult work.
Elaine xx
Thank for sharing that! If you could compare your earnings or how busy you were as an escort and now what would you say?
I'm wondering how do you guys work? Do you rent separate flats or you working from your own accommodation? or maybe rent out dungeons?
I was thinking about making an arrangement with other dommes in my city or booking a dungeon but I know it can be tricky as clients are not keen to make a deposit.
Can anyone please give me some advice on that and let me know whats your strategy? :)
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There are 2 types of clients.
Subs that enjoy the Dungeon scene and others who have no interest in it as they find it too threatening. I never worked in a dungeon, just my own room in my own flat.
Fetishes like Foot fetish are fun as you get to have your feet massaged! or shoe fetish.
I found the earnings far better and easier to make as no touching or poking you ., the clients are fairly upscale, well educated (a lot of lawyers, business people) and up market and treat you with respect. Think about it. Anyone can have sex. But Domination and Fetish fantasy is all about personality, Using your imagination, being able to carry out the Office boss, Headmistress, Mother in law fantasy... loads more.
In fact some of the best fun and the best clients I met were through this.
You are the Goddess...You are to be worshipped, the men WANT you to take control and be in charge so you are treated with a level of respect I rarely encountered with selling sex.
I worked from my own flat in W2 and W5 long ago in the early 2000's and earned a very good living with cards in phone boxes, and once they were done away with I went on the internet on Mistress websites. I had my own website then which drew huge interest.
It was far easier work, more generous and I received gifts like boots and shoes, Chocolates, underwear , wine etc. Or the odd generous elderly man who just enjoyed my company and good spanking.
I've never had to deal with all the crap you read about and the scammers who try it on you meet on AW. The Mistress websites will bring you good quality clients.
If you want to DM me please do so.
Elaine xx
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Great thread. Gives me a "career path" to follow as these days I'm less and less about intimate contact with clients. Thanks all for the ideas and inspiration!
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There are 2 types of clients.
Subs that enjoy the Dungeon scene and others who have no interest in it as they find it too threatening. I never worked in a dungeon, just my own room in my own flat.
Fetishes like Foot fetish are fun as you get to have your feet massaged! or shoe fetish.
I found the earnings far better and easier to make as no touching or poking you ., the clients are fairly upscale, well educated (a lot of lawyers, business people) and up market and treat you with respect. Think about it. Anyone can have sex. But Domination and Fetish fantasy is all about personality, Using your imagination, being able to carry out the Office boss, Headmistress, Mother in law fantasy... loads more.
In fact some of the best fun and the best clients I met were through this.
You are the Goddess...You are to be worshipped, the men WANT you to take control and be in charge so you are treated with a level of respect I rarely encountered with selling sex.
I worked from my own flat in W2 and W5 long ago in the early 2000's and earned a very good living with cards in phone boxes, and once they were done away with I went on the internet on Mistress websites. I had my own website then which drew huge interest.
It was far easier work, more generous and I received gifts like boots and shoes, Chocolates, underwear , wine etc. Or the odd generous elderly man who just enjoyed my company and good spanking.
I've never had to deal with all the crap you read about and the scammers who try it on you meet on AW. The Mistress websites will bring you good quality clients.
If you want to DM me please do so.
Elaine xx
Elaine,
Haven’t you found this attracts more timewasters who are all about sex chat but not actually intending to make the booking? I tried and they drove me nuts, chatting about their cock and flaking on the day of actual booking.
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Great thread. Im also in the same situation as in wanting to cross over to the dominitrix only side of things, any advice on where to advertise would be greatly appreciated. Is it worth buying loads of equipment?. I have handcuffs, Japanese bondage rope , crop, cat n nine a hook and a gimp mask that I rarely use. I manly get asked for role play and strap- on.
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Anyone can have sex.
And anyone can advertise/work as a domme. That does not mean anyone can do it well.
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I find advertising as a domme means you get a mix of extremes, both very generous, much more superficially respectful guys (although scratch some of them too deep and you'll discover their inner control freak) on the one side, and lots of wayward timewasters and fantasists on the other. But, once you've been advertising for a while you'll filter the latter out. Its also more common in domme world to ask for deposits which can reduce timewasters. I think domme work can drain your mental energy more because you have to be very emotionally present during the booking to a degree you don't necessarily have to be with escorting (like, for me, at least during the sex bit I can - to a degree - go on auto pilot but I never can with domme, I'm on it from beginning to end), especially if you are administering pain and impacts etc and every booking is very different, very eclectic so you have to be prepared for that. So yea, its less physically invasive but can be more mentally invasive, for want of a better word.
There are pros and cons to domme work and escort work, really. But I agree I've never had escort customers be as generous as domme customers but as Amy says, to get this attention you have to be good and really please the punters because its a small pool of potential punters and they can be much more loyal to their dommes than escort clients, so building a pool of regs is harder to begin with, especially if you are inexperienced.
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I find advertising as a domme means you get a mix of extremes, both very generous, much more superficially respectful guys (although scratch some of them too deep and you'll discover their inner control freak) on the one side, and lots of wayward timewasters and fantasists on the other. But, once you've been advertising for a while you'll filter the latter out. Its also more common in domme world to ask for deposits which can reduce timewasters. I think domme work can drain your mental energy more because you have to be very emotionally present during the booking to a degree you don't necessarily have to be with escorting (like, for me, at least during the sex bit I can - to a degree - go on auto pilot but I never can with domme, I'm on it from beginning to end), especially if you are administering pain and impacts etc and every booking is very different, very eclectic so you have to be prepared for that. So yea, its less physically invasive but can be more mentally invasive, for want of a better word.
There are pros and cons to domme work and escort work, really. But I agree I've never had escort customers be as generous as domme customers but as Amy says, to get this attention you have to be good and really please the punters because its a small pool of potential punters and they can be much more loyal to their dommes than escort clients, so building a pool of regs is harder to begin with, especially if you are inexperienced.
There can be a lot more planning, setting of limits, safety, preparation and clean up.
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There can be a lot more planning, setting of limits, safety, preparation and clean up.
Yes agreed. Which can be both very rewarding and very tiring,
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Maybe I'm wrong but pro-dommes usually have higher rates too. Maybe that's the reason?
I'm offering domination along with escorting and every time I had a client who wanted a complicated domination session I felt like I should charge way more as I had to put a lot more preparation into that.
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Maybe I'm wrong but pro-dommes usually have higher rates too. Maybe that's the reason?
I'm offering domination along with escorting and every time I had a client who wanted a complicated domination session I felt like I should charge way more as I had to put a lot more preparation into that.
For the reasons you mention, I charge about £100 more for dom ph than escort. For dom add-ons in a vanilla escort sesh I charge £30-£80 per item.
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No I met more genuine clients for domination than escort work. Once or twice I got the odd guy trying to get free chat but never in all my years doing it did I get flaky guys. All very upmarket well educated who are not time wasters as Domme n fetish is very specific.
Uk mistresses and other mistress other sites are the must popular .
Choose what you want to specialise in. The bondage scene isn’t my thing so heavy ropes etc would be very specialised. You can ask for deposits upfront online also and they’re so respectful to you and your time it cuts out the messers.
Check out other mistress’s websites and see what they offer.
Elaine xx
Please feel free to DM me
Xx