SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: barbiegirl on 13 November 2018, 07:16:35 pm
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I want to leave the industry but I feel so lost and alone, I don't know what to do about my source of income so I feel stuck in a rut until I find a way out.
Anyone else feel like quitting but with no escape route?
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Sorry to hear this. Is it possible to plan exiting? By gradually cutting down working whilst working out what else you want to (or can realistically do) to earn money? Or are there other factors at play?
For very different reasons (my health) I may have to exit. I don’t want to and (again due to health) I don’t have many options about what else I can do - catch 22. Meantime I’ve only earned about 20% of what I needed this year and savings took a massive hit.
I know that’s different reasons/situation than you; but please don’t feel alone.
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Same
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Hi OP, sorry to hear you feel lost and alone wih this. It's often difficult to make big life changes, especially if you can't talk to anyone.
Do you have any previous experience in civvy work? Think about what industry you'd like to work in and what skills you already have. You're bound to have loads of admin and people skills from escorting, although I understand many of us wouldn't feel able to put sex work on our CVs! Volunteering is often a good stepping stone to changing career.
If it's the physical side of sex work which is getting hard, maybe switch to webcam and phone chat until you're in a position to leave. Best of luck
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hi everyone thanks for the responses.
an exit plan is an option I can abroad and work with a trusted friend and earn £20k in 1 month. But then what from there? I turned to escorting because I never believed in myself in any other aspects of my life and beat myself up over everything, if I'm going to get out of escorting then I need to earn more than 25k a year else whats the point quitting?
I don't really have any experience in the civvy world :(
I don't want a dead end job, maybe somewhere where I can start at the bottom and work up. I wanted to go to university but I just feel like I've left it too long and I'll be in my late 20s before I establish myself at all (and how the hell can I fund uni without sex work?)
webcamming is an option as it's not as intense, more flexible and there is still opportunity to make money
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Gosh, if you're only in your 20's then you have plenty of time! Depending on what you want to do there are shorter vocational courses you could take, or you could do a degree and pay for it via escorting and camming. If you have a goal you'll feel more positive about the work you have to do to get there :)
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Are you able to screen your clients and maybe end up with the nice ones?
When I first started a large majority of guys were just vile. Now the majority are lovely
If you really want to quit - then do. It is not that easy.
Civvie street is not well paid unless you are in a high end job.
You are young, and my advice is get a good qualification, work part time and see how you feel in 12 months time.
When you get older you will know what you really really want/need.
Maybe, try to reduce your outgoings, though it can be hard in this climate.
Good luck
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Hey Barbie girl,
I am in the same situation! And for my exit plan I got into a very good part time / sometimes online course at a very good and (expensive) uni. Now that you have the money you could afford some great course! Another way also is to save up while escorting to buy your property. So if you stop escorting you could easily save up the money for rent or loan as you would own your place!
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Are you able to screen your clients and maybe end up with the nice ones?
When I first started a large majority of guys were just vile. Now the majority are lovely
If you really want to quit - then do. It is not that easy.
Civvie street is not well paid unless you are in a high end job.
You are young, and my advice is get a good qualification, work part time and see how you feel in 12 months time.
When you get older you will know what you really really want/need.
Maybe, try to reduce your outgoings, though it can be hard in this climate.
Good luck
thank you so much for this,
I screen my own clients and I have been doing this for almost 2 years, so I know an arsehole from a gentleman 8)
I have decided that I will go back to university, just with the career I want to study I feel like I will be there forever, but if I don't do it now I guess it will only get harder for me ;(
and I can tell I'm not enjoying the work anymore as I'm not treating myself! I'm just sitting indoors not doing anything
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Hey Barbie girl,
I am in the same situation! And for my exit plan I got into a very good part time / sometimes online course at a very good and (expensive) uni. Now that you have the money you could afford some great course! Another way also is to save up while escorting to buy your property. So if you stop escorting you could easily save up the money for rent or loan as you would own your place!
That sounds ideal! my problem is that I have no a levels so I'd have to go do an access course first and yes I want to invest in property its always a good idea :)
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That sounds ideal! my problem is that I have no a levels so I'd have to go do an access course first and yes I want to invest in property its always a good idea :)
You don't always need A Levels to go to uni. Not sure where you are but Birkbeck in London does part time degrees with no entry requirements and there's always the Open University.
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You don’t need any qualifications for The Open Uni and the degrees are highly regarded by employers.
What about escorting part time and working in a civvy job part time? It might feel a bit less miserable if you have a secure job to go to for half the week where you can meet other people and be earning a guaranteed wage. You could then escort occasionally for the rest of the week to top up the income but you could afford to be a bit pickier with who you see and avoid any potentially horrible clients
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Yes OU is very well regarded by employers, and is a highly regarded institution generally academically. Only trouble with it is that because of its flexibility it can be easy to put off taking up the next module and taking a long time to finish your degree. You say you're in your twenties but even at 21+ particularly some of the former polytechnics aren't so attached to A levels or even access courses to have people join their degree course.
But remember these days a lot a lot a lot of people are graduates and therefore these days many graduates end up in the same low paid 'whatever' jobs as non graduates, unless they have a competitive edge; studied something very practical with clear routes into industry (engineering, say) went to a very good university and got very good grades and/or have parents/family to throw a bit of nepotism their way.
I'm just cautioning because university education isn't the golden pathway to a lucrative career anymore so you will be spending money and time and in 3 years you might not be in any better position to leave escorting than you are now. So pick a course wisely with a clear career pathway.
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I have a good psychology degree and struggled to find a job afterwards that wasn’t crap pay
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Same position.
When i started my income was good, last few months have turned to crap. Worried about how I'll save for my tax bill etc, too many wasters and men who dont want to pay a deposit. I think im going back into full time work come Jan and may or may not escort on the side.
I'd recommend trying to cam- can sometimes be good, maybe get a volunteer job on the side, look at touring etc xxx
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Yep I'm sick of it all too but unless I keep doing this until I can afford a new laptop n webcam so I can webcam instead I'm stuck. So also a catch 22 as bookings are slow on the ground and got bills to pay.
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I want to leave the industry but I feel so lost and alone, I don't know what to do about my source of income so I feel stuck in a rut until I find a way out.
Anyone else feels like quitting but with no escape route?
Hiya,
I felt like that it is a tough one, first I moved away into smaller accommodation. There are employment programmes out there too if you want some help. Taking the first step away from escoring is difficult, it took me several times before making it final.
Readapting to less money take a while to adjust even now sometimes I think about and get the odd temptation I resist focusing on my studies.
I'm not sure do you plan to go part time escorting or to fully stop?.
If part-time then be careful.
If to stop fully for the time being then be firm on it. Do this for you.
When I stopped my health improved.
I wish you well.xx.
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Yes OU is very well regarded by employers, and is a highly regarded institution generally academically. Only trouble with it is that because of its flexibility it can be easy to put off taking up the next module and taking a long time to finish your degree. You say you're in your twenties but even at 21+ particularly some of the former polytechnics aren't so attached to A levels or even access courses to have people join their degree course.
But remember these days a lot a lot a lot of people are graduates and therefore these days many graduates end up in the same low paid 'whatever' jobs as non graduates, unless they have a competitive edge; studied something very practical with clear routes into industry (engineering, say) went to a very good university and got very good grades and/or have parents/family to throw a bit of nepotism their way.
I'm just cautioning because university education isn't the golden pathway to a lucrative career anymore so you will be spending money and time and in 3 years you might not be in any better position to leave escorting than you are now. So pick a course wisely with a clear career pathway.
Thanks Ms Millie.
I do think getting a degree in something would be good because at the minute I feel really lost as I don't really have anything! Im very intelligent, I could have gone to university but I just didn't believe in myself at the time. I want to perhaps study law
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It's sensible to have a back up plan for ANY job you do. I've recently just created my 5 year plan - and I want to be out after that point. It's not that I don't love my job, I do, but I want to do other things and create a job / business which is much more sustainable and not solely dependent on my health, age or ability (this is my fear, that I get I'll and can't work - what then?!)
I've always wanted to do photography. I've just signed up to a beginner course to learn, which then gives me one opportunity in time to become a professional photographer. I could even specialise in boudoir / glamour shoots due to my experience and knowledge in this industry.
But for something solid, I want to get into property.
It's a huge leap to jump from working to studying. Infact, going back to education after any break is terrifying and a HUGE learning curve. I went to uni for my degree at 22, after 5 years of leaving school, and that was very difficult in the first year to adapt to an academic environment again. I like other's suggestions of the Open University to begin with. It will allow you to dip your toe in and plan it around other committments you currently have.
I'm not sure which country you are in, but in Scotland, every person gets an Independent Learning A(count?!) which gives them a grant of £300 or so to use for an educational purpose.
I really wish you a lot of love and support through this time. Please feel free to message me if you want to chat further xx
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My ex found out, but I couldn't take the stigma of the job anyway back in civvie Street hours are long pay isn't as good but I feel much better about myself mentally and physically.
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I want to leave the industry but I feel so lost and alone, I don't know what to do about my source of income so I feel stuck in a rut until I find a way out.
Anyone else feel like quitting but with no escape route?
i am changing right now...but still working this weekend! i am in the same direction! however i have some options!
you too! feeling lost is normal! i felt really bad myself (lost...ahah worst!)
anyway you can find an alternative! but maybe need to work till you find it! even it is very hard! i know it as i am living it!
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do what feels right for you hun but be smart about it, i have my end game already planned out but i hardly even started working.. I do odd days here and there and live off that.. I think you should be in a position where u saved enough so you can better your situation and not worry about normal job straight away
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hi everyone thanks for the responses.
an exit plan is an option I can abroad and work with a trusted friend and earn £20k in 1 month. But then what from there? I turned to escorting because I never believed in myself in any other aspects of my life and beat myself up over everything, if I'm going to get out of escorting then I need to earn more than 25k a year else whats the point quitting?
I don't really have any experience in the civvy world :(
I don't want a dead end job, maybe somewhere where I can start at the bottom and work up. I wanted to go to university but I just feel like I've left it too long and I'll be in my late 20s before I establish myself at all (and how the hell can I fund uni without sex work?)
webcamming is an option as it's not as intense, more flexible and there is still opportunity to make money
You are not too old to make the change I am in my 50s and I am in the second year of a degree. I work a civvie job part time and escort as well to bring in more money. I am not doing the degree to progress on to a career just for my own benefit but I can use it to go full time at work at a higher level if I want to
Good luck go to some open evenings in your area and check the prospectus for different Uni's as the content of the course will vary between universities even if the course title is the same
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Thanks Ms Millie.
I do think getting a degree in something would be good because at the minute I feel really lost as I don't really have anything! Im very intelligent, I could have gone to university but I just didn't believe in myself at the time. I want to perhaps study law
I think Law is a really good choice as there are multiple career pathways. Personally I just like studying or having some kind other project alongside this job because like it or not I can never put it on my CV and I don’t like to have gaps on my CV as it were.
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I just love this forum you’re all so great :-*
After much thinking I’ve decided to go for a Law LLB with the open university, as it’s cheaper and I can be more flexible with my time, meaning I can still do this job on the side to support myself. I was going to go down to traditional uni route but it’s a lot of money and I would prefer home learning as I don’t really care about the uni experience, I just want my qualification. I can then take this degree to another university and do another course, as for law you have to study for a while! I though OU wouldn’t be well respected, but in fact it’s harder as you need to motivate yourself!
I think I had become consumed by this job, in a lavish lifestyle and lost my sense of self; someone close to me asked what I saw myself doing in 5 years and I honestly couldn’t give an answer. Made me want to knuckle down and build a future for myself instead of just buying the whole of Gucci every weekend...
I’m feeling much more positive and determined now, thank you for all your emails and sorry if I didn’t reply I’ve just been very busy but it gave me a bit of encouragement and I’m now very excited for this new chapter in my life and to eventually phase out of this job when I’m ready ;D
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That sounds great Barbie, best of luck! :)
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A second vote for the Open University which I've seen mentioned a few times here.
Course fees are significantly cheaper than conventional universities if that's a worry and no entry qualifications are necessary.
I completed my degree from the OU only last year... it took me 6 years. I have previously been to a conventional university too (dropped out after my first year) but think the teaching materials at the OU are far more interesting, accessible and ENJOYABLE. You could do it all at home but there are so many opportunities to meet other students at revision schools and study groups.
Don't think of it as a hard slog. It won't break the bank... they have payment options. Best thing I ever did. Wish I was studying again!