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Author Topic: Upset when calles talk about "services" or my "working"  (Read 4102 times)

Lauren Kay

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Upset when calles talk about "services" or my "working"
« on: 27 December 2011, 12:06:29 pm »
I'm the sort of escort who feels irritated when she hears the words "services" or "working". The implied sexual self-entitlement and taking for granted in these words creeps me out and I often simply hang up the phone if I hear such words. Opening lines such as "Are you working today?" or "What services do you offer?" are total mood killers for me.

But since I seem to be getting a lot of this sort of callers lately I have started to self-doubt, hence why I am opening this tread. Do you think I am unreasonable?

Many of these sort of callers are timewasters/pushy manipulators anyway, but given the sheer volume of such callers I am now wondering if there are  genuine ok clients out there in any significant number who use such words?
« Last Edit: 27 December 2011, 12:09:18 pm by Lauren Kay »

strawberry

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Re: Upset when calles talk about "services" or my "working"
« Reply #1 on: 27 December 2011, 12:29:34 pm »
"When are you open til?" does it for me. ::)

I'm not a shop, I do however offer a service (I'm not making goods now am I?), and it is technically 'work' - a service offered for money.

Those asking for 'full service' do tend to be more familiar with the parlour scene though.


NorthernIrishNatalie

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Re: Upset when calles talk about "services" or my "working"
« Reply #2 on: 27 December 2011, 12:40:45 pm »
"What time do you open till luv?" really grips my shit! I actually almost tear chunks from my hair! Lol.
 However, as much as there's so many bloody God awful phrases and timewasters etc, 'are you working?' is a common opening line and one that can't really be avoided. The same as 'are you available?' and 'what service do you offer?'.
 Perhaps write on your AW profile a brief and simple paragraph on how you would like any callers to address you and such. I doubt guys would take heed though, as I have a fully descriptive profile inclusive of photo's and I still get the whole 'here babe what'd ya look like?' shite! And even if they did read it they'd prob think fuck that, they pay an escort for hassle free do as they please sex, if they wanna watch their manners and do as they're told they'll go to their wife!
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EmilyJones

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Re: Upset when calles talk about "services" or my "working"
« Reply #3 on: 27 December 2011, 12:44:11 pm »
I'm afraid I'm completely the opposite! Well, "what services do you offer" just gets them directed back to my website, cos really if they don't read everything on there then there's no hope for either of us. But "are you working today?" is, in my opinion, preferable to, "Are you open today?" or "Can you squeeze me in?" or "Is there a slot available?" (That last one literally curdles in my ears! ;D "Slot"!!!)

But frankly, as long as they aren't calling to waste my time (by clearly being more interested in a long phone conversation than in actually arranging a booking), I don't care what wording they use. Some guys are more casual ("Are you free to meet later?") and some guys are quite formal ("I would like to arrange an appointment with you, please") but as long as they're talking about booking logistics, I'm happy!

I know it can be slightly annoying when someone else tries to tell you something about yourself, so please don't think I'm doing that here when I mention that usually, the only thing that makes me irritated every time my phone rings is burnout. Burnout doesn't have to be caused by doing 2000000000 bookings back-to-back, either; I find it's usually a result of needy clients who try to book every week, plus lots of idiotic calls that make me question the progress of humanity as a whole, combined with the unlucky thing where all the nice, genuine callers seeming to want to book when I'm not free. That lot of stuff is just stressful and can result in nothing but difficult bookings and lots of time wasted, so I end up either wanting to yell or sob down the phone every time it rings!

Sorry, that might well not be the issue here, and if so it's off-topic. It's just that I don't entirely understand what you're getting at in your post cos those lines are fine by me (except anyone wanting too many details, as mentioned above) unless, as I say, I'm just in a totally frustrated and worn out mood anyway. And to be honest, I prefer clients indicate that they understand that I'm working and that I'm doing my job when I talk to them and when I meet them; these guys are less likely (in my experience) to turn into "Since you enjoy having sex with me so much, Emily, I've decided to stop paying you and to start calling you 16 times a day just to see if you fancy going for coffee" (aka completely insane) guys. I'm guessing your experience is completely different, though? :) In which case, I would probably say that as long as your methods for screening out the clients you don't enjoy seeing are working, then I completely empathise with the frustration with all the other weirdos who just keep trying, day-in, day-out, dozens and even hundreds of them, a never-ending army of odd'uns with far too much time on their hands, etc etc! - I find that completely wearing, too.

But I wouldn't personally turn someone away who mentioned "services" or "working", as long as they weren't trying to turn the conversation into free sex chat. If you're wary, perhaps answer them politely and say you'd love to see them, but implement an extra step into your booking procedure? Tell them maybe to email you with the time, date and duration of booking they'd like, so that you can pop it straight into your Google calendar (that's an excuse, of course; the real reason is so you can assess how genuine they are and whether they can follow simple instructions without turning into stroppy teenagers!) - or if they email, tell them you need to receive a phone call from them at a mutually agreeable prearranged time to confirm, for the same reasons of 'testing' them slightly.

If they do follow your instructions - and you have your security sorted with a buddy who knows where you are and who you're with and when you'll be finished - then it might be worth going ahead with the booking. Always keep an eye out for any other weirdness, of course; it sounds like you're more than proficient at doing this but you know how it is. Just take that little bit of extra care at first. It's added stress but it could reduce the stress of missing out on perfectly good bookings, if it works out! :)
Disclosure: The other person behind yourescortsite.com

Mellow

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Re: Upset when calles talk about "services" or my "working"
« Reply #4 on: 27 December 2011, 01:38:14 pm »
I'm not offended by the word 'services' or 'working'. (asking for details of the  first does get an automatic referral to my profile).

Rather than what they say its the WAY they say it that often matters to me.  If they are rude and abrupt in their manner they don't get past STAGE 1!  But there are guys who are polite.....but sleazy.....yeuch, I'm not interested in seeing them either.

I must admit tho sometimes when I've been innundated by guys trying it on, who are plainly not interested in a booking, (when I've wanted a recording saying 'Please go and look at my profile'), then I get a genuine guy who happens to say something similar and unfortunately gets an abrupt response from me!

Sometimes guys are just very nervous but genuine too, and find it difficult to spit the words out!

Redhead

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Re: Upset when calles talk about "services" or my "working"
« Reply #5 on: 27 December 2011, 01:52:57 pm »
"When are you open til?" does it for me. ::)

I'm not a shop, I do however offer a service (I'm not making goods now am I?), and it is technically 'work' - a service offered for money.

Those asking for 'full service' do tend to be more familiar with the parlour scene though.



This just reminds me of car services! Everytime I get this, I want to say 'I'm an escort, not a car mechanic!'
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Give me everything tonight
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Let's do it tonight' - 'Give Me Everything' by Pitbull feat Neo

amy

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Re: Upset when calles talk about "services" or my "working"
« Reply #6 on: 27 December 2011, 05:35:36 pm »
I'm with the others here - I don't really understand what it is you're upset about? If it's the daft questions then I'm sure we all sympathise (and just directing people back to your ads for specific information about what's on offer really isn't such a tremendous strain, surely - I tend to ask people if there is something specific they want to know first and then do this if they really haven't got a clue), but if it's the individual words themselves I've no idea? We are service providers, and therefore people are going to use the word 'services' - given the alternatives I would have thought this was about the most polite word they could use and far preferable to being asked if they can fuck you up the arse, or whatever.

As for 'working' again, I don't really see what the alternative would be - when I am with clients I am working; it drives me mad when punters use terms like 'date' and ask when we can 'meet', and more so when we are told that sex work isn't a 'real' job and all the rest. And the one that irritates me more than any other is 'escort', a term I loathe, and it is a constant source of annoyance that I have to have it on my site or Google would ignore me. If a punter rings and asks 'if I'm working', I generally say that if I was I wouldn't have answered the phone, would I?

The 'full service' or 'full personal' bit doesn't bother me in the least but I think that's partly an age thing - when I advertised in the papers it was one of the usual things to say to describe what was on offer so the punters knew that full sex was available and I still find myself using it now if for no reason other than it's polite, everybody knows what it means and doesn't offer anything to the phone wanking brigade. Many seasoned punters have been around for far longer than the internet and they just haven't changed their language accordingly - it's a bit old-fashioned but not meant to be derogatory.

If it's the silly questions and not the words that are getting to you (and with two similar threads in barely two weeks it would seem to be this) have you thought of removing your phone number from ads altogether and just advertising an email address? You can then pass on your number to people who make their initial contact in an appropriate way and arrange times to have a chat - most of my bookings are taken this way (I do advertise my number but the vast majority of my bookings originate from email contact); it would be more difficult if you take same day bookings but if not it's certainly a far less stressful way of operating.

Lauren Kay

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Re: Upset when calles talk about "services" or my "working"
« Reply #7 on: 27 December 2011, 06:50:31 pm »
it drives me mad when punters use terms like 'date' and ask when we can 'meet', and more so when we are told that sex work isn't a 'real' job and all the rest.
These are actually the sort of words I like clients to use. If a caller uses these other words and doesn't mention "services" and "working", it indicates to me that he is a potentially good (compatible) client for me and vice-versa. I guess it shows how different we escorts can be from each other and how diverse this industry is.

Now after reading your post I realize that my annoyance comes from my not perceiving escorting as work or as a job. But you're right, there must be a way to describe to clients what's on offer and the word "services" seems appropriate and rather unavoidable for that.

I also agree with Mellow:
Quote
Rather than what they say its the WAY they say it that often matters to me.
I'm not sure myself if it's the words themselves or just the way they are said the upsetting element for me.

Lady_Lust_XXX

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Re: Upset when calles talk about "services" or my "working"
« Reply #8 on: 27 December 2011, 07:00:54 pm »
it drives me mad when punters use terms like 'date' and ask when we can 'meet', and more so when we are told that sex work isn't a 'real' job and all the rest.
These are actually the sort of words I like clients to use. If a caller uses these other words and doesn't mention "services" and "working", it indicates to me that he is a potentially good (compatible) client for me and vice-versa. I guess it shows how different we escorts can be from each other and how diverse this industry is.

Now after reading your post I realize that my annoyance comes from my not perceiving escorting as work or as a job. But you're right, there must be a way to describe to clients what's on offer and the word "services" seems appropriate and rather unavoidable for that.

I also agree with Mellow:
Quote
Rather than what they say its the WAY they say it that often matters to me.
I'm not sure myself if it's the words themselves or just the way they are said the upsetting element for me.


I agree that sometimes it is the way guys say things on the phone but to refer to a 'booking' as a 'date' is a load of bollox.  We are providing a service and guys are paying for our services so this is MOST DEFINITELY NOT A DATE.  As for the expression 'meet' grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr that totally does my box in.  'Date' and 'Meet' are two of the most offensive words a guy could use when calling me and would most certainly get the call terminated immediately. 
Beauty is nothing to do with having a pretty face.
It is about having a pretty mind, a pretty heart,
And most importantly a beautiful soul.

Mellow

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Re: Upset when calles talk about "services" or my "working"
« Reply #9 on: 27 December 2011, 08:15:55 pm »
I have to agree with Lady L that when a caller refers to 'meets' or 'dates' in a communication thats an immediate red flag to me - the TW red flag! Oh gosh and don't get me started on the ones who seem to view AW as a dating site  ::)

Not always with the word meet - I've often been asked during camming for example 'do I meet' and when I say 'No I escort' in response often they say, well yes that's what I meant.  Some guys find it easier to call it a meet.

One thing I must say that I like about escorting rather than say...some kind of sugardaddy site (tho I'm way too old to have a sugardaddy!) is that its more straightforward.  All the parties concerned know that sexual services are being offered in exchange for money and I find that very honesty very refreshing rather than everything being 'sugar coated'.


LouLou37

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Re: Upset when calles talk about "services" or my "working"
« Reply #10 on: 27 December 2011, 10:38:14 pm »
"When are you open til?" does it for me. ::)

I'm not a shop, I do however offer a service (I'm not making goods now am I?), and it is technically 'work' - a service offered for money.

Those asking for 'full service' do tend to be more familiar with the parlour scene though.



Yup  ;D "services" or "working" doesn't bother me at all, but the "open until" and "date" ones grate  :-X

"Good things come to those who hustle" Anais Nin

LouLou37

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Re: Upset when calles talk about "services" or my "working"
« Reply #11 on: 27 December 2011, 10:48:45 pm »
-
« Last Edit: 13 May 2015, 03:29:29 pm by LouLou37 »
"Good things come to those who hustle" Anais Nin

ladyofthemansion

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Re: Upset when calles talk about "services" or my "working"
« Reply #12 on: 28 December 2011, 12:05:22 am »
I put on my profile today that I wouldn't have internet access today so ould they please call. It was clearly stated at the top in bold, along with my working hours for today. They still emailed to ask if I was working. Dorrrrr...
I'm glad I got all the Cynthia Payne books before the prices rocked to sky high.

jayna

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Re: Upset when calles talk about "services" or my "working"
« Reply #13 on: 28 December 2011, 12:42:29 am »
I can't think of any better alternatives than 'services' or 'working', but quite honestly I don't get offended by 'meeting' either. 'Liaison', 'rendezvous', and 't?te-?-t?te' are all fine by me too  :) (though, I bet I've spelt them all wrong!)

Admittedly I cannot stand 'Are you open today?' and 'Have you got anyone else? [as in another woman]' to which my answers are normally:  'Am I WHAT?!' and 'Have I WHAT?!' respectively.

Mellow

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Re: Upset when calles talk about "services" or my "working"
« Reply #14 on: 28 December 2011, 09:02:46 am »
Yes Lou....
anyone would think he's been holding demonstrations in your favour or at the very LEAST handing around Field Reports as Flyers wherever he goes!  Instread of err LEAVING AW FEEDBACK -  all of 2 minutes spent doing that = CHEERLEADING & RECOMMENDING!!!

(Sorry going off piste there ladies!)
« Last Edit: 28 December 2011, 09:15:09 am by Mellow »