I'm useless too as I registered to pay tax last summer and so haven't had to do the God Awful Tax Return for the first time yet. I've faffed a bit, setting up NI payments and talking on the phone and getting sent paperwork but mostly I'm avoiding it all due to fear. So you're already doing a helluva lot better than me.

I think you should be putting aside about 30% of your earnings for your eventual tax bill if you're earning over ?7000 per annum? It's also advised to NOT earn more than ?60k per year as then you have to pay VAT, so definitely track your earnings closely although I'm not sure how many escorts are really earning those kinds of amounts of cash. I may be wrong but you'd have to be quite a super-sex-soldier and have the patience of ten saints, surely. My earning potential is limited by my low tolerance for bollocks, anyway!

Others on SAAFE know tons about tax so can help you out properly. I am fond of the moneysavingexpert.com site and forums, too, as the same concepts are explained simply and frequently enough that I almost understand them!

I'm confused. I read somewhere that I have to pay tax in advance in July. I make about ?1k a week - does that mean I'm going to get a huge tax bill in July for money I haven't earned yet?

You don't need to submit your tax return until January 31st, and you won't get any bills until then. Self-employed people aren't required to pay tax on income before they've earned it, but many think that they do. I saw it that way until someone explained it to me. What happens is that in July you pay tax on what you've earned, but you haven't declared what that was yet, so they estimate it based on your previous tax return. Part of the January payment is also an estimation, since at that point you're already well into the next tax year. When I submit my tax return in January 2011 for the tax year 2009-2010, I should have already paid all my taxes for that year. Half in January 2010 and half in July 2010. The bill I'll get in 2011 will be for the last few months, but it will be estimated based on what I said I earned in the previous tax year.

What this means for you - and it's important to bear this in mind - is that you're going to have a fairly small tax bill next January and the July after that, but if you keep earning ?1k/week you'll have a huge one in January 2012 when they realise your estimated payments were way too low.

What'll happen is that in January 2011 you'll declare that you earned about ?11.5k between April 2009 and April 2010, and they'll say in that case you owe us ?1k from that. They'll also ask you to pay ?500 towards the current tax year, and then pay that sum again in July. So you'll pay ?1.5k in January and ?500 in July.

In January 2012 you'll say hooray, between April 2010 and April 2011 I earned ?50k. They'll say ok, your tax bill for that is ?10k. You've already paid ?1k towards that, but you need to pay another ?9k now. Also, please pay ?5k now towards the current tax year, and another ?5k in July. So you'll pay ?14k in January and ?5k in July.

Ultimately this is the same as you'd be paying if you were earning that amount at a job with PAYE, but it can take you by surprise so make sure you save as you earn and remember you'll have to make up for those initial low tax bills.

Also... tax isn't the only thing you have to think about. You're probably already paying the ?2something a week Class II National Insurance contributions and might think, like I did, that that's all of it. Oh, it's not. You also have to pay Class IV, which is based on what you earn and comes with your tax bill. It's 8% of everything above your personal allowance. There are no advance payments for NI though, you just pay in January for everything that you earned in the previous tax year.

How should I save up for tax? I've been saving up so there is money there (got about ?1400 in savings right now). How much should I put aside each week?

There are a lot of figures thrown around, but I think it makes most sense to estimate what you'll actually need to pay and go from there. You can use this page to work it out, but don't forget to add the extra 8% for NI. If you don't know what to do with the figures, here's a way you can do it:

Work out what you think you'll earn in a year.

Subtract your personal allowance (currently 6,475) from your estimated income. This is the figure that you have to pay tax on. Multiply is by 0.28 (that's 28% - basic rate tax plus NI).

If you earn enough for the higher rate, take your estimated income again and subtract your personal allowance and the upper threshold for the basic rate (currently 37,400). That's the figure you have to pay higher rate on. Multiply it by 0.2 (that's 20%, since you already worked out the other 20% with your basic rate).

Add together the final figures from each of those sums and that's your tax and NI bill. Add a bit extra to be safe, and you'll know what you have to save in a year. You can take this figure and divide it by 52 to work out how much you should save every week, or you can divide it by your estimated income and multiply by 100 to find out what percentage of your earnings you should be saving.

I recommend getting a new savings account to keep your tax fund in, by the way. It helps you keep track of things and makes it psychologically less painful to pay your bill. It should be easy to set one up with your bank.

At what point should I get an accountant? Do I need to wait till I get sent a tax return or can I go find one now?

There's no need to wait. If you know you want an accountant you might as well get one now. Then you'll have someone to ask about any specific issues you have like what to do about the boob job.