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Author Topic: Tips on how to avoid hobbyists and what to look out for?  (Read 2486 times)

Sophine88

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Tips on how to avoid hobbyists and what to look out for?
« on: 03 January 2023, 07:14:05 pm »
So I got a negative review recently from someone who didn’t even make it past the booking stage and whilst it didn’t affect me negatively at all or even phase me as I didn’t even read it till some plonker who wrote me to abuse me by text made it known to me it was up there even then I just glanced at it. But basically regardless of that I still don’t want reviews being wrote about me and am trying to gain tips on how to avoid these weirdo hobbyist types.

I know I can’t avoid them all and some will slip through my screening I’m not going to make it obvious in my advertising either that I don’t seem them cause That would make them probably more inclined to come as I seem to have something to hide. I just don’t want my name and shit being in these things and my links. It’s weird to me.

Have any of you girls actually met any of these men in person. What were they like. Did they make it known that they write reviews I often get the vibe that some of them are dumb as fuck and just announce it to you that they review. They don’t seem like the most intelligent bunch so I always thought they’d slip up and make it pretty obvious.

Not fully bashing them I’m sure there’s some lovely guys who write nice reviews and just want to detail their time but it’s still weird as fuck even if you did have good intentions. Reviewing a human.

But anyway yeah any advice on what to look out for to avoid these types?

amy

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Re: Tips on how to avoid hobbyists and what to look out for?
« Reply #1 on: 03 January 2023, 09:01:33 pm »
Why do you care? Whilst obviously nobody likes being slagged off, surely if you don't want to see these punters you would welcome any bad press you can get so it puts them off booking you?

I have no idea whether I've met any of them or not; I care how punters behave when they're communicating with me and during bookings, and anything they do outwith that is not my concern. Mine aren't generally 'dumb as fuck' though, and I put that down to my ads, my screening and also my location. Maybe just don't take bookings from obvious fuckwits?

tigerlily22

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Re: Tips on how to avoid hobbyists and what to look out for?
« Reply #2 on: 06 January 2023, 08:09:35 pm »
I hateeee hobbyists and review boards too I avoid at all costs  >:D :angel:

Best tell tale signs of hobbyist / review board client - AW member with loads of feedback, uses acroynms or mentions services in messages, usually older.

tigerlily22

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Re: Tips on how to avoid hobbyists and what to look out for?
« Reply #3 on: 06 January 2023, 08:10:50 pm »
You can make it clear on your AW profile too that discretion is important to you and everything stays between you two and never shared - this helps a lot. I hate it too totally violates your privacy, discretion and consent the review boardists are so weird.

The best clients imo are always the ones that dont go on them / dont have a clue about them
« Last Edit: 06 January 2023, 08:13:32 pm by tigerlily22 »

amy

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Re: Tips on how to avoid hobbyists and what to look out for?
« Reply #4 on: 06 January 2023, 09:25:16 pm »
Not using the AW booking system is definitely a good shout. I'm not sure what percentage write actual reviews as opposed to the one liner feedbacks, but I agree that the ones with lots of feedback tend to be the real oddballs and whilst I never get to find out now as I only take bookings by text, if you were aiming to avoid these ones it could be useful.

As per my post above, there isn't any reason to look at reviews on other sites so unlike AW (which doesn't give us much option if we advertise on it) there's no reason to give them a seconds thought :).

English Green

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Re: Tips on how to avoid hobbyists and what to look out for?
« Reply #5 on: 07 January 2023, 12:35:42 pm »
Sophie i know how you feel i think this job is secretive for a lot and privacy is really important for me. I don't mind somebody  just putting some feedback like " nice woman, services good etc" but when they go into every personal bit of information not only what you spoke about but every detail of what happened in their time is too much and not something i like at all.

Many customers expect privacy on their side but some do not give us this in return. I remember a client once left me feedback about something that was exaggerated. I had seen him a few times he was turned on when writing it and very theatrical, what he said caused me to get some rough clients taking the piss putting me in a possible bad situation.

Now days it is hard to have a normal conversation between the two of you as you never know what could be repeated online so you are in a situation where you either plan the lies you will answer to some of their questions or tell them i do not answer anything personal about me which sometimes can be a bit blunt.

A friend of mine had a couple of bad experiences from something that was written and something that put her in a uncomfortable dangerous position with a couple of dodgy clients because of what was written. Will not go into details but she got some legal advice and spoke to police.

What she did when the men are booking as she is very particular who she books in, is told them her terms for booking and that includes her safety and privacy and asks them to only book her if they are going to keep the meeting between them private as she will not meet anybody who writes about her online as it has put her safety at risk previously. She told them i do not want to see you if this is who you are some other details that i will not mention on here. She puts it on text afterwards or email as proof with them agreeing.

She was told that if they book in with her and put her in danger afterwards by the wrong type of men visiting her she has a case for harassment as they booked by deception.

I think it falls in to the line of if someone contacts you and you tell them to not contact you again and they carry on its harassment and same if a client you tell you do not want to see and they book you by deception by changing there sim because you will not see them.

Maybe you could try that Sophie it will not be for everyone and very long winded and some could still lie but the woman i know it made things better for her and she did report 1 client to the police as he harassed her and booked her by deception. He was someone very active on writing detailed reviews and a bounday pusher arsehole. After the police interaction he suddenly stopped writing detailed reviews after that it shook him up being contacted by the police.

amy

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Re: Tips on how to avoid hobbyists and what to look out for?
« Reply #6 on: 07 January 2023, 12:44:41 pm »
Can we at least try to get the OP's username right? It's Sophine, not Sophie.

EG, what specific offence is this 'booking by deception'? I've never heard of it and I can't find it or anything relating to it (or it's relevance to prostitition generally) under either the Sexual Offence Act 2003 or the Protection From Harassment Act 1997? Are we claiming that people writimg reviews when we'd rather they didn't is illegal now? That should get interesting on Tripadvisor.
« Last Edit: 07 January 2023, 12:47:49 pm by amy »

Miffy

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Re: Tips on how to avoid hobbyists and what to look out for?
« Reply #7 on: 07 January 2023, 01:36:11 pm »
One of the things I have always evaluated is how men write their opening gambits.  A list of services, plenty of acronyms and scant personal detail would suggest to me there's a possibility that someone might be a punter.  I do think listening to one's intuition comes into play here, much like some of us can tell a cut & paste message that has been sent by someone whom hasn't read a word of our ads/profile/website, some can tell a punter from the way he communicates.

I went out go my way to advertise myself in a way that would not attract the more typical punters, even going so far as to make my online advertising and way of working as off-putting as possible. I do strongly believe having a website does deter some hobbyists, particularly if you don't offer same day appointments and the booking process requires some thought.  Also, and for me, I felt able to actually state in my T&Cs that I don't give my consent to be reviewed under any circumstances.  Potential clients have to agree to this detail, much like one does when buying goods online.  (A box appears and unless they agree to my terms, they can't send the booking request). 

I have no reviews, nor is there even a mention of my working name anywhere where men discuss and review sex workers, so have managed to avoid them. I think my lack of online footprint puts off most punters from taking a punt.  It is also worth remembering that the percentage of men whom actively write reviews or even engage with the review culture for sex workers is tiny.  But, because they're most likely to use platforms like AW and Viva Street and actively look for SPs whom have already been reviewed, these men are harder to avoid. If you are using AW, don't use the booking form.  It is also worth considering that AW feedback is useful as it can be used to cross reference with review sites.  I know a few times I have been able to glean someone is a reviewer because he sent me glowing AW feedback, something that I don't accept for screening anyway), but it allowed me to do some detective work and find their reviews across a myriad of sites.
« Last Edit: 07 January 2023, 06:37:20 pm by Miffy »

English Green

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Re: Tips on how to avoid hobbyists and what to look out for?
« Reply #8 on: 07 January 2023, 10:19:39 pm »
Can we at least try to get the OP's username right? It's Sophine, not Sophie.

EG, what specific offence is this 'booking by deception'? I've never heard of it and I can't find it or anything relating to it (or it's relevance to prostitition generally) under either the Sexual Offence Act 2003 or the Protection From Harassment Act 1997? Are we claiming that people writimg reviews when we'd rather they didn't is illegal now? That should get interesting on Tripadvisor.

If you have told a certain type of man lets say you do not wish to see him and to not contact you again and they book you another time under false number it is harassment and booked you by deception ( this can fall in line under if you tell any person not to contact you again and they turn up at your home for example. So sex work related or non sex work related. This is sex work so not surprised you would not find exactly this example just like when we were all off with Covid and certain groups of workers were put in categories who could go back to work, who could not we never fell into any written category as the government never wanted to mention us.

I cannot go into great details mostly against the rules of this website so i won't but i know my friend used what i said and advice and help from police, solicitor and she reported one client and the police did follow it up and they contacted him to come in for questioning.

Certain situations it seems action can be used and has and i am not saying every situation it can be used. Trip advisor is very different and does not involve things written about what happens with women's bodies when we are alone in a room with men that we do not know naked and possibly vulnerable.

I never said writing reviews is illegal i made a point in certain situations with certain types of men who you have refused to see them and then they have booked you by deception without you knowing at that stage then by already telling that person you do not wish to see them and for them to contact you again that is classed as harassment and if you happen to have proof of this then it is harassment.

Most women on here would not go to these lengths i know that ( a lot do not even report robberies or rape) but i was just saying what a friend of mine did about it not saying anyone needs or should do it as most will not be bothered to pointing out sometimes action can be taken.

Sorry Sophine got your name wrong previously it looked like Sophie from quick view.
« Last Edit: 07 January 2023, 10:22:55 pm by English Green »

English Green

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Re: Tips on how to avoid hobbyists and what to look out for?
« Reply #9 on: 07 January 2023, 10:44:09 pm »
Miffy your situation about agreeing to your written terms was a bit similar to what my friend was advised to do to keep herself safe because of a previous bad experience that led to her going down that route. I have not done this before but it is something i would consider if my safety was put at risk and to discourage certain types to stay away from me but at the moment i don't care about it and most of those types stay away from me.

Although there would be always be some that would not care and do it on purpose.

I think Miffy you do outcalls only and are based in london from what you previously said? so i can see why it is easier for you to get better type of men. I missed my london days of outcalls when i lived nearer as clients were better quality and it was what i call more proper escorting, dinner and drinks etc. Adultwork is shit for outcalls and quality bookings so it is so good you do not need it.
« Last Edit: 07 January 2023, 10:49:48 pm by English Green »

amy

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Re: Tips on how to avoid hobbyists and what to look out for?
« Reply #10 on: 07 January 2023, 11:30:45 pm »
If you have told a certain type of man lets say you do not wish to see him and to not contact you again and they book you another time under false number it is harassment

Exactly! Persistent unwanted contact is harassment, just as it would be for any person. It's nothing to do with sex workers or punters specifically, and we're entitled to the same protection under the law as everybody else without requiring any twee subtitles or special names for what amounts to the exactly same thing.

As for somebody telling punters that they'll only see them if they don't write reviews, by all means do it but since any contract relating to prostitution isn't enforcable by law (including the old chestnut 'have sex with me now and I'll pay you afterwards'), any threat of legal action is a completely empty one. The only possible way it would work in your favour have would be if the punter doesn't know this either.

amy

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Re: Tips on how to avoid hobbyists and what to look out for?
« Reply #11 on: 08 January 2023, 12:02:17 am »
I should also apologise to the OP for the derail, since the above is nothing to with her question.

It's been touched on already, but one very obvious way to avoid these punters is to not advertise on the sites where they hang out. Keep an AW page up if you feel you have to, but don't use the booking system and make sure you have a decent website and plenty of other ads up so that when enquiries come in from AW (and you can use a separate phone number if you want to be certain), you'll have more choices and be in a better position to turn them away.

The other one that should be blindingly obvious is make sure your ads are accurate and that you do your job properly. I remember a woman I knew being apoplectic over something somebody had written about her photos being years out of date and heavily edited, her being far larger than her ad claimed and that she was drunk and made rude, racist comments during the booking. Every word of it was true.

Miffy

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Re: Tips on how to avoid hobbyists and what to look out for?
« Reply #12 on: 08 January 2023, 09:00:57 am »
So I got a negative review recently from someone who didn’t even make it past the booking stage

I think I have missed the most glaringly obvious disconnect - if he didn't make it past your booking stage, how on earth could he write a review.  To the best of my knowledge, review boards will only accept reviews if a booking has been confirmed.  What did he leave a review about? That you wouldn't see him?  Because if he did, that's true but no reflection of your sexual services as an escort. And surely a negative review would keep other punters away anyway, so maybe not a bad thing given you want to avoid them.

As Amy and I have said, if you don't want to attract punters, you will need to advertise in places where they are less likely to look for escorts.  If this is something you cannot do, then unfortunately, you have to accept that from time to time, you will not only get a punter, but one who likes to write reviews.



As for somebody telling punters that they'll only see them if they don't write reviews, by all means do it but since any contract relating to prostitution isn't enforcable by law (including the old chestnut 'have sex with me now and I'll pay you afterwards'), any threat of legal action is a completely empty one. The only possible way it would work in your favour have would be if the punter doesn't know this either.

I know that stipulating I don't consent to be reviewed and making clients tick a box confirming they accept this has no legal standing.  However, it's part of larger a process to secure a first appointment via my booking form. My contact form hasn't such a process, and judging from the messages I receive there, I am certain that I have dodged quite a few punters, so at the very least, I have found another way of sifting out those who aren't aligned with the kind of clients I want. 


« Last Edit: 08 January 2023, 09:16:27 am by Miffy »

amy

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Re: Tips on how to avoid hobbyists and what to look out for?
« Reply #13 on: 08 January 2023, 09:26:31 am »
As Amy and I have said, if you don't want to attract punters, you will need to advertise in places where they are less likely to look for escorts.  If this is something you cannot do, then unfortunately, you have to accept that from time to time, you will not only get a punter, but one who likes to write reviews.

Well now it's my turn for a disconnect; I do want to attract punters because without them I wouldn't earn anything?

Punters are the customers of prostitutes whether they're in a Soho walkup or a five star hotel; it's not a pejorative term (and nor is it the one used by the OP), and I've found over the years that the people who refuse to accept that they're paying a prostitute for sex ('oh but you're not a prostitute, you're an escort' etc) and wince at plain language tend to be not just deluded about the situation, but also raging, insufferable snobs.

I even screen for them, since this sort of refusal to engage with reality (see also use of 'date' instead of 'booking'/'incall') means these aren't punters I want to see. It took a fair bit of tweaking of my ads, but thankfully they've mostly realised this :)

Miffy

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Re: Tips on how to avoid hobbyists and what to look out for?
« Reply #14 on: 08 January 2023, 09:59:25 am »
Point taken Amy, and clumsy use of language on my part - I was referring to punters as in the ones who review on the site of the same name, and that was what I took the OP to be referring to as well. I should have used the term hobbyist.

I very much prefer the term prostitute, it's honest. Escort less so, ditto the current trend to use the word companion which is on a par with, and as much as a misnomer as courtesan. 

We all have a specific kind of client we want, and it's up to us to use words (and our ads) in a way that we best feel will attract these people while repelling those we do not want.  I don't think anyone can disagree with this.
« Last Edit: 08 January 2023, 11:40:06 am by Miffy »