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General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: ana30 on 02 October 2015, 12:58:54 pm

Title: Therapists and sex work
Post by: ana30 on 02 October 2015, 12:58:54 pm
Hiya,

Was looking to get some therapy (I've had it in the past and it worked wonders) but wanted to avoid the unprofessional or judgamental, closed minded shrinks out there (plenty of them unfortunately). Would like to work with someone who is BDSM/kink and LBGT friendly.

Any reccomendations? (if not comfortable posting it here please sent by PM).

Thanks all,  :D

Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: peachybum on 02 October 2015, 02:22:39 pm
Hey babe. I'm seeing a therapist atm and she knows what I do and is fine with it. We talk about issues I have with work and my general life and wellbeing. She is based in Derbyshire but I know she does do Skype and phone sessions too. I can't recommend her enough she has really helped me with my issues. If you like her details just dm me. Xxx
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: ana30 on 02 October 2015, 02:27:21 pm
Hey babe. I'm seeing a therapist atm and she knows what I do and is fine with it. We talk about issues I have with work and my general life and wellbeing. She is based in Derbyshire but I know she does do Skype and phone sessions too. I can't recommend her enough she has really helped me with my issues. If you like her details just dm me. Xxx

Hi Peachy,

Thanks so much for the reference. I'm based in central London so was looking for someone in London who I can see once a week, Derbyshire is a little bit far out, and I'd rather have a face to face therapy. Thanks again. ;)
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Mklxx on 02 October 2015, 02:45:13 pm
I know great psychotherapist based in London. Ill pm you later on when back home
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: belle-de-poor on 14 October 2015, 11:34:20 pm
I know great psychotherapist based in London. Ill pm you later on when back home

hi, if you could PM me too that'd be much appreciated! I'm looking for the same thing x
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: EscortS on 16 October 2015, 12:31:19 am
I know great psychotherapist based in London. Ill pm you later on when back home

Please send me the name of that therapist hun. It would really help me out and I'd so appreciate it.


x
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: LondonBased on 16 October 2015, 11:58:37 am
I don't think any shrinks are judgemental, if they were then they are poor at their job.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Nia Hope on 16 October 2015, 02:08:05 pm
I think most would be understanding, they hear very shocking information about people's lives day in day out. I saw an NHS shrink that was not shocked at my lifestyle one bit x
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 16 October 2015, 06:06:10 pm
I think most would be understanding, they hear very shocking information about people's lives day in day out. I saw an NHS shrink that was not shocked at my lifestyle one bit x

I go with Nia on this one. A shrink who's judgemental is unprofessional and should change their career path. Shrinks see worse than escorts and if they don't judge that then they shouldn't be judging sex workers.

Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: KDB on 17 October 2015, 10:58:54 am
I don't think any shrinks are judgemental, if they were then they are poor at their job.

There are a lot who are both of these things.

Which might be why the OP is looking for the contrary.

Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: LondonBased on 17 October 2015, 11:01:36 am
I don't think any shrinks are judgemental, if they were then they are poor at their job.

There are a lot who are both of these things.

Which might be why the OP is looking for the contrary.

Well if your a shrink who is judgemental at whatever may walk through your door then they should not be in their line of work. I would be horrified if I went to see someone about my feelings work related and instead of helping me, they judged me and made me feel worse.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: ana30 on 17 October 2015, 11:19:29 am
I don't think any shrinks are judgemental, if they were then they are poor at their job.

There are a lot who are both of these things.

Which might be why the OP is looking for the contrary.

Well if your a shrink who is judgemental at whatever may walk through your door then they should not be in their line of work. I would be horrified if I went to see someone about my feelings work related and instead of helping me, they judged me and made me feel worse.

Well....It happened to me twice hence the reason I'm asking for a shrink with "references". Shrinks are human, and like all humans they have issues. And that's why you have to be very careful in "whose hands you leave your brain", because you'll be giving that person a lot of power in your life, decision making etc.. so you want to make sure he/she is going to help you and not going to mess you up.

I've known a few people who got really messed up by their unprofessional therapist and ended up worse after therapy. There's a lot of bad apples in the profession, you gotta be really careful.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Mirror on 17 October 2015, 11:44:45 am
I have found it difficult to tell whether a therapist will have personal issues with working with someone in the sex industry. Ideally they should work it out at supervision, with those few who can't do that it's obvious you won't get along. One of the main factors in therapy outcome is the relationship between therapist and client.

If it's not working put moving on would be my recommendation. I do hold resentments from such encounters and I have seen that profession from different sides.

Luckily many therapists are in touch with their personal prejudices and wouldn't put you through that. I have also had the opposite - too much non judgement, which meant a huge shock when I did encounter judgement elsewhere.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: KDB on 17 October 2015, 03:35:32 pm
I don't think any shrinks are judgemental, if they were then they are poor at their job.

There are a lot who are both of these things.

Which might be why the OP is looking for the contrary.

Well if your a shrink who is judgemental at whatever may walk through your door then they should not be in their line of work. I would be horrified if I went to see someone about my feelings work related and instead of helping me, they judged me and made me feel worse.

There are a lot of people who should not be in their line of work in many other peoples' opinions, but they are.

A friend of mine has had horrific experiences with the judgemental types & worse and it's a bit hit and miss finding a decent therapist at the best of times.

I hope that clears up any confusion.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Aqua Allegoria on 17 October 2015, 07:47:44 pm
I don't think any shrinks are judgemental, if they were then they are poor at their job.

There are a lot who are both of these things.

Which might be why the OP is looking for the contrary.

Well if your a shrink who is judgemental at whatever may walk through your door then they should not be in their line of work. I would be horrified if I went to see someone about my feelings work related and instead of helping me, they judged me and made me feel worse.

There are a lot of people who should not be in their line of work in many other peoples' opinions, but they are.

A friend of mine has had horrific experiences with the judgemental types & worse and it's a bit hit and miss finding a decent therapist at the best of times.

I hope that clears up any confusion.

I agree. When I was like 21 and married (big mistake) I ended up having a lover (at 21 I was calling him a boyfriend) and that shrink suddenly told me I was being cynical and shit.
Ok that was the first shrink I ever had but I have a friend who's a shrink in NY. Called her. Went for it one more session with my shrink. Through her speech about what a bitch I was. Listened to it nicely. Then called and told her you girl must have some serious issues and seriously are you working for UNESCO? Well you fucking shouldn't.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: ana30 on 18 October 2015, 12:07:10 am
I've been in therapy a few times through out my life, nothing too serious, but I've suffered from GAD since I was a child (general anxiety disorder). So I've put myself in the hands of different shrinks. I always disclose my sex work occupation -amongst other things- on the first session. My last shrink was a very conservative female who wanted to know all the dirty details of my job, she was utterly fascinated by it, almost all the sessions spinned around my "occupation". This was getting a tad exhausting because sex work is just a part of my life, I don't spin my life around it. It's not what makes me as a person, it's just a PART of who i am. I don't want to pay $$$$, sit for an hour and talk about "the dirty details" to some civvie woman with a a horrified expression on her face. After 5 sessions she confesses me that she is completely against sex work. Ok, fair enough. So I ask her "why'. She looks at me completely astonished and says: "Well, it's like having a  patient who's a pedophile or a drug dealer, why should I be ok with it?"

I told her it was nice to meet ya and walked out of the room. And this is why I'm asking for a shrink with references, because I don't want to loose my time and my money with someone unprofessional.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Cat. on 18 October 2015, 12:52:14 am
Does google help?

I totally get you, I thought about finding a therapist but escorts friendly too, don't give a monkey what they think of me or judge sex workers but I think they would do a better job if they had experienced escorts before they'll have a better view of this line of work.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: firsttimer on 20 November 2015, 02:31:23 pm
Not a rant as such, but why, when I go to the doctors etc (I have a long-term mental health issue) they suggest that escorting is mentally damaging?
Is there any real proof of this?
I tried to explain that I feel down when I'm NOT working and that due to my condition a job that provides financial security along with non-set hours and no boss is perfect for me, but I was met with a look of 'heard this before'.

I understand it's not for everyone and it's tough sometimes, but I was far more unfulfilled and depressed in my other jobs.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Nova on 20 November 2015, 02:36:30 pm
Because stigma.
Some people would hate to be an escort. That's fine, I would hate to be a cleaner. But they assume that everyone feels the same as they do, because 'sex is dirty.' So therefore anyone who escorts must be damaged by it.
The number of therapists who have mental health problems is massive. Therefore counselling is a very dangerous profession and should be banned. (They don't like it when you use logic on them.)
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: firsttimer on 20 November 2015, 02:41:26 pm
I just can't believe with all the other shit I have to talk about they focus on the one thing that I have control over? I remember my former shrink screwed up her face and said "Ewww, I couldn't do that" when I told her. It's just so unprofessional.

Am I fighting a losing battle explaining myself every time? Should I just tell them stories to make them even more disgusted? After almost 4 years I'm sick of them telling me it's making things worse. I genuinely can't understand the logic behind it.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: amy on 20 November 2015, 05:01:46 pm
I would drop whoever you're using at the moment, and most especially if you're paying them. They obviously can't be bothered to treat you as an individual, autonomous adult or even to remember that different people are affected in different ways by different things. As you said, it's unprofessional, lazy and offensive to the degree that I'd be thinking seriously of making a complaint, too.

I've had civvy jobs over the years which I hated, one or two to the point where I would dread going to work to the degree I felt physically sick because they made me so miserable and depressed, but nobody as yet has banned bar work, cleaning (which I always liked :)) or being a shop assistant. Many people will have felt lasting affects from the work they've done whether it's teaching, police or prison work, nursing, the armed forces or selling cars and just as many if not more will not - it's nothing to do with the activity and everything to do with the person doing it.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 20 November 2015, 06:27:42 pm
I think every job can be mentally damaging but fear of financial insecurity can be even more mentally damaging and being able to support yourself is so empowering. 

IMO like it was said above I think it could be people not being able to see through the stigma. 

I have suffered from mental health issues for 45 years but being able to support myself was very empowering and helped me a lot.

There are people who can deal with the stigma and there are people who can't and we are sometimes best not to even mention it but if we feel it best to then sadly we don't always get the outcome we want.

Get on with living as you have been which makes you feel better and unless asked about your occupation I would not say as you may get a negative response.

TC x
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Mirror on 20 November 2015, 06:33:40 pm
I agree with Amy. I was told by a treatment provider that sex work would rot me to the core, and mean I'd never get well. I did get well, using a different, more successful approach.

I have however noticed recently that since I took the opportunity to make some lifestyle changes, which included changing how I worked, that I have made a final leap into full and absolute health. Before I made the changes I was just 'getting by' and thought I was doing well (financially yes, stress-level-wise no) when I actually wasn't. The changes however are not dissimilar to things recommended for all people in all jobs, I just couldn't see how it applied to my situation - and I also couldn't see how much I'd built my life around 'the job'.

So like Amy says all jobs have potential to cause damage, but that it is a very individual thing.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: The_Lynx on 20 November 2015, 08:33:26 pm
I would drop whoever you're using at the moment, and most especially if you're paying them. They obviously can't be bothered to treat you as an individual, autonomous adult or even to remember that different people are affected in different ways by different things. As you said, it's unprofessional, lazy and offensive to the degree that I'd be thinking seriously of making a complaint, too.

Ditto, there ARE therapists and shrinks who are not useless, you just have to find one.

As an anecdote, a friend of mine has recently filed a complaint against the shrink he was assigned by our national healthcare. The person wrote him down as "planning to commit suicide" and tried to take his driver's license after a short chat, in which he mentioned feeling apathetic and lonely. Considering he works as a driver, that would wreck his income and certainly wouldn't help things any. Not to mention that he has never considered offing himself. Some mental health professionals are simply useless.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: TheLittleMatchGirl on 21 November 2015, 12:23:14 am
I would drop whoever you're using at the moment, and most especially if you're paying them. They obviously can't be bothered to treat you as an individual, autonomous adult or even to remember that different people are affected in different ways by different things. As you said, it's unprofessional, lazy and offensive to the degree that I'd be thinking seriously of making a complaint, too.

I've had civvy jobs over the years which I hated, one or two to the point where I would dread going to work to the degree I felt physically sick because they made me so miserable and depressed, but nobody as yet has banned bar work, cleaning (which I always liked :)) or being a shop assistant. Many people will have felt lasting affects from the work they've done whether it's teaching, police or prison work, nursing, the armed forces or selling cars and just as many if not more will not - it's nothing to do with the activity and everything to do with the person doing it.

Absolutely, I still have really awful dreams about somewhere I worked 7/8 yrs ago, receptionist. It wasn't the work it was the people/environment.

Don't give up, it just takes time to find a decent counsellor, it's unbelievable how unprofessional many of them are
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Lois01827 on 21 November 2015, 12:41:45 am
This is predominantly about judgement by clueless twats who base their 'facts' on theoretic banded about studies and their own close-minded views - how dare they!! I work in mental health and have done for over 20 years and in a pretty highly regarded position on a self employed basis. I personally have found that my escorting is a more exciting and enjoyable way to live my life as opposed to trying to fall into the thinking of these stuck up assholes. Hence, now, my day job is only a cover. (Manicured, middle finger well and truly extended to all those close-minded twits)

I echo what the others have said including finding an alternative provider. Their ignorant pompousness is probably the biggest contributor towards your mental awareness; as if we don't have enough arrogant wankers to deal with  :FF
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Kay on 21 November 2015, 12:52:13 am
Ditto what everyone else has said. Some people, especially women in my experience, are just so grossed out by the idea of having sex period, that doing it with random strangers - and actually enjoying it - is a concept they just can't get their heads around.

I miss my salary, but all in all I'm waaaay less stressed than I was 18 months, working long days surrounded by idiots and a three-hour round commute. That really was soul destroying. I genuinely do not feel at risk of mental damage from escorting, bar obviously being assaulted or something.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Cat_BBW on 21 November 2015, 01:03:11 am
This is predominantly about judgement by clueless twats who base their 'facts' on theoretic banded about studies and their own close-minded views - how dare they!! I work in mental health and have done for over 20 years and in a pretty highly regarded position on a self employed basis. I personally have found that my escorting is a more exciting and enjoyable way to live my life as opposed to trying to fall into the thinking of these stuck up assholes. Hence, now, my day job is only a cover. (Manicured, middle finger well and truly extended to all those close-minded twits)

I echo what the others have said including finding an alternative provider. Their ignorant pompousness is probably the biggest contributor towards your mental awareness; as if we don't have enough arrogant wankers to deal with  :FF

Sorry....what? Lois?...you work in Mental Health AND are sex positive?? I think I love you !  :-*
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Lois01827 on 21 November 2015, 01:13:53 am
This is predominantly about judgement by clueless twats who base their 'facts' on theoretic banded about studies and their own close-minded views - how dare they!! I work in mental health and have done for over 20 years and in a pretty highly regarded position on a self employed basis. I personally have found that my escorting is a more exciting and enjoyable way to live my life as opposed to trying to fall into the thinking of these stuck up assholes. Hence, now, my day job is only a cover. (Manicured, middle finger well and truly extended to all those close-minded twits)

I echo what the others have said including finding an alternative provider. Their ignorant pompousness is probably the biggest contributor towards your mental awareness; as if we don't have enough arrogant wankers to deal with  :FF

Sorry....what? Lois?...you work in Mental Health AND are sex positive?? I think I love you !  :-*

I do indeed Cat - without giving too much away I provide consultancy on how to take down big-wigs (NHS and the like) who are unjustifiably authoritarian to vulnerable people as they can't be arsed to do what they are supposed to, by using the loopholes of MH law to its full advantage  ;D 
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Cat_BBW on 21 November 2015, 01:25:33 am
This is predominantly about judgement by clueless twats who base their 'facts' on theoretic banded about studies and their own close-minded views - how dare they!! I work in mental health and have done for over 20 years and in a pretty highly regarded position on a self employed basis. I personally have found that my escorting is a more exciting and enjoyable way to live my life as opposed to trying to fall into the thinking of these stuck up assholes. Hence, now, my day job is only a cover. (Manicured, middle finger well and truly extended to all those close-minded twits)

I echo what the others have said including finding an alternative provider. Their ignorant pompousness is probably the biggest contributor towards your mental awareness; as if we don't have enough arrogant wankers to deal with  :FF

Sorry....what? Lois?...you work in Mental Health AND are sex positive?? I think I love you !  :-*

I do indeed Cat - without giving too much away I provide consultancy on how to take down big-wigs (NHS and the like) who are unjustifiably authoritarian to vulnerable people as they can't be arsed to do what they are supposed to, by using the loopholes of MH law to its full advantage  ;D

Lois - THANK YOU. Thank you and thank you. Thank you for doing this for 'us' (as a MH collective). You and I know how much MH is very much undermined and misunderstood...so THANK YOU for being there and fighting on especially in the current climate. Perhaps our paths may one day cross. Maybe they have already!

Sorry everyone for the OT.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Lois01827 on 21 November 2015, 01:36:48 am
This is predominantly about judgement by clueless twats who base their 'facts' on theoretic banded about studies and their own close-minded views - how dare they!! I work in mental health and have done for over 20 years and in a pretty highly regarded position on a self employed basis. I personally have found that my escorting is a more exciting and enjoyable way to live my life as opposed to trying to fall into the thinking of these stuck up assholes. Hence, now, my day job is only a cover. (Manicured, middle finger well and truly extended to all those close-minded twits)

I echo what the others have said including finding an alternative provider. Their ignorant pompousness is probably the biggest contributor towards your mental awareness; as if we don't have enough arrogant wankers to deal with  :FF

Sorry....what? Lois?...you work in Mental Health AND are sex positive?? I think I love you !  :-*

I do indeed Cat - without giving too much away I provide consultancy on how to take down big-wigs (NHS and the like) who are unjustifiably authoritarian to vulnerable people as they can't be arsed to do what they are supposed to, by using the loopholes of MH law to its full advantage  ;D

Lois - THANK YOU. Thank you and thank you. Thank you for doing this for 'us' (as a MH collective). You and I know how much MH is very much undermined and misunderstood...so THANK YOU for being there and fighting on especially in the current climate. Perhaps our paths may one day cross. Maybe they have already!

Sorry everyone for the OT.

Ah, you are very welcome  :-* ...I'm very passionate about supporting people and ensuring that they are not being taken advantage of or made to feel that they are nothing, because of jumped up idiots with birkenstocks and chinos, who use jargon to intimidate vulnerable folk and just medicate the effect as opposed to addressing the cause, to shut them up  :FF I've got a rep as a ball-breaker in my field; one I'm very proud of  ;D
You can PM me if you like Cat (in case we are going off thread) xx
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Emma_C on 21 November 2015, 08:51:13 am
Your therapist sounds like a completely judgmental twat who should be struck off. Giving personal opinion is strictly a no no as I don't don't need to tell you.

I had a supposed NLP coach who was going through her own crisis it seems, she was in her mid 40's & told me she was shagging a 23 yr old guy & said I had nothing to offer anyone in a relationship capacity, yet he left her husband because he was depressed... Silly cow!

What they mean is that unwanted sex can cause psychological trauma. Going into a state of disassociation isn't too good for the soul. The more you do it the better you get at disconnecting from yourself. You can obviously experience this in relationships too. If you have bad past experiences relating to sex then it can be re-triggered doing this job of course.

I've come out in raging Hives going to my former sales job so I quit & came back into escorting. My hives are getting better! So is my mental health, I'm a lot less stressed.

The thing is with therapist is that you get the god complex types who may even have NPD, so it's going to re-traumatise you when you come into contact with them & they will purposely cause more damage.  So hard trying to find a decent one, I know how frustrating it is. NLP with a decent practitioner is good for reprogramming any deep rooted "damage". A really good book that comes recommended by a well know life coach on youtube is Pete Walker - Complex PTSD: from surviving to thriving.

Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: SW on 21 November 2015, 10:54:39 am
I've trained in Person-Centered Counselling and one of the core conditions you should offer your clients is unconditional positive regard, seeing the world from their point of view and offering no judgements!

If you decide to complain the therapist in question could do with the feedback for their professional and personal development!

(they may not be person centered but all approaches should value this condition)

Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: ghostworld on 31 July 2016, 04:32:48 pm
Hey,

Recently I started to see a psychotherapist, she is very well qualified and very expensive! We spoke a little on the phone before meeting and she sounded warm and understanding. Anyway, a few meetings in and I told about my job, her reaction was super judgemental, she said she would never judge but it was so obvious from her face. She then said that nearly all sex workers have been sexually abused, and questioned if my dad had ever done anything to me, she also said that sometimes things can happen but be suppressed, so you don't remember that it happened. Oh, and also that I am a sex addict! She is an actual Psychiatrist, I know I should know that qualifications don't mean shit when it comes to people talking out of their arse (especially when it comes to Sex work), but I still think she was quite unprofessional, and re markedly quick to come to her conclusions. I won't be seeing her again, but it has put me off therapy now! Has anyone else had experience with therapists? Did you tell them about your job and how did they react?
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Kazzle on 31 July 2016, 04:49:29 pm
I trained to be a therapist but decided against completing my course when I realised that a large percentage of people doing the training had unresolved issues. Also some of them had very fixed ideas that they were reluctant to let go of, especially when it comes to women and sex,  so I'm not too surprised that you ran into problems.

There are good, none judgemental therapists out there. I'm not sure how you'd find one though.

Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: amy on 31 July 2016, 04:58:30 pm
GW, I've merged this with a couple of similar threads and there are others - as you can see it comes up quite a bit. I think there are a few people offering recommendations dotted about, although it depends where you are :).
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: meetingdiversity on 31 July 2016, 05:47:40 pm
Hey,

Recently I started to see a psychotherapist, she is very well qualified and very expensive! We spoke a little on the phone before meeting and she sounded warm and understanding. Anyway, a few meetings in and I told about my job, her reaction was super judgemental, she said she would never judge but it was so obvious from her face. She then said that nearly all sex workers have been sexually abused, and questioned if my dad had ever done anything to me, she also said that sometimes things can happen but be suppressed, so you don't remember that it happened. Oh, and also that I am a sex addict! She is an actual Psychiatrist, I know I should know that qualifications don't mean shit when it comes to people talking out of their arse (especially when it comes to Sex work), but I still think she was quite unprofessional, and re markedly quick to come to her conclusions. I won't be seeing her again, but it has put me off therapy now! Has anyone else had experience with therapists? Did you tell them about your job and how did they react?

Men are more understanding from my experience. I told mine since day one he was cool about it and had no problem. He treats me with respect and dignity and am very happy to have him there by my side. I see him weekly and only charges 60 pound per hour. :) He has helped me with leaving escorting and is superb. :) His a psychologist analyst the best ones out there. We have our laughs and jokes ups and downs but he is still there for me. :) He is superb. :) Am very happy. :) I'm living in good light. :). It's amazing.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: LadyOfTheNight on 31 July 2016, 08:47:33 pm
I'm not embarrassed to say that I have seen various counsellors, psychologists and a psychiatrist for ongoing issues.

My approach has always been not to tell them immediately what I do, if I feel comfortable I tell them, if I get a bad vibe I don't. The reasons I see them anyway is nothing to do with work so it's not always necessary for me to tell them anyway.

I made a mistake with one and she was saying slightly similar things about abuse etcetera in a different context. Needless to say I did not continue seeing her.

Please don't let this one person put you off. She was incredibly judgmental  and and seems to have based her whole concept of working girls on stereotypes. Which is exactly what she was supposed not to do.

There are plenty of psychologists, psychiatrists, counsellors etc who are not like that. And just remember that just because someone is very expensive doesn't  mean they are any better at what they  do.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Wailing Banshee on 01 August 2016, 10:34:28 am
I can recommend a sex work positive therapist in the north of England who also offers online as well as face to face sessions, reasonably priced and a qualified and registered counselor. Please PM me for details.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Mirror on 01 August 2016, 04:57:00 pm
I've had positive experiences with both male and female therapist's.

I'm also one myself - so going against the presumption that women are more likely to judge.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: loubyloo on 02 December 2016, 09:10:01 am
I've had some mental health issues for many years and it's only now that I'm feeling ready to try to address this problem.
I have a phone consultation tomorrow to work out the best way for me to move forward and my question is,
Has anyone else sought help, counselling etc and if so have you told them that you're an escort?
I'm not sure how important it would be to be that open with them.
I'm sure they won't be judgemental but I'm feeling if I don't tell them the truth, then will it stop me from getting the right kind of help.
Thanks ladies
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: FellowTraveller on 02 December 2016, 09:26:41 am
I would not tell anyone in a phone consult. And would advise caution even if meeting a counsellor in person. Why? Because you cannot tell if you will continue with that particular person until you've had one full session. You need to have made that decision, that you are comfortable with them in other ways, before entrusting them with this information.

I have had good and bad experiences, and yes some are judgemental. These days I suss them out first before making a decision to fess up. If I haven't felt comfortable enough to do so, I haven't continued to see them.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: HelenaB on 02 December 2016, 12:51:58 pm
I'm studying a psychotherapy Masters at the moment in London and, from all the theory etc that we've done, I can see that if someone went in with preconceived ideas about sex workers, LGBT+ people, kink etc, they would come out without having those ideas challenged at all. The theories all stem from Freud, Klein etc and are presented without anything to balance them. It did make me very angry to begin with.

For my application and in my interview, I wrote and spoke almost exclusively about the sex industry and BDSM (I've had really bad experiences at my previous university from the lecturers and other students because of being out about my job) - I wanted to know if I was going to be discriminated against again. But, the course leader was very accepting and I got a distinction for my first essay that was about sex workers (in an anti-pathologising way). I also know someone else who had the opposite experience at another university. It seems that there's no industry standard when it comes to this topic, as some therapists don't appear to realise their judgments are actually judgments, strangely.

I know a lot of people that have had bad experiences with therapists because of this job so I specifically chose one who writes about the sex industry and kink on her website and in various articles. She's amazing  :) Good luck with your search!
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: ana30 on 02 December 2016, 12:55:05 pm
I've had some mental health issues for many years and it's only now that I'm feeling ready to try to address this problem.
I have a phone consultation tomorrow to work out the best way for me to move forward and my question is,
Has anyone else sought help, counselling etc and if so have you told them that you're an escort?
I'm not sure how important it would be to be that open with them.
I'm sure they won't be judgemental but I'm feeling if I don't tell them the truth, then will it stop me from getting the right kind of help.
Thanks ladies

I usually disclose it on the first session. If I get a negative or judgamental reaction I let them know right there on the spot and find another therapist.  I don't like to waste my time.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Mirror on 02 December 2016, 07:37:31 pm
I would not tell anyone in a phone consult. And would advise caution even if meeting a counsellor in person. Why? Because you cannot tell if you will continue with that particular person until you've had one full session. You need to have made that decision, that you are comfortable with them in other ways, before entrusting them with this information.

I have had good and bad experiences, and yes some are judgemental. These days I suss them out first before making a decision to fess up. If I haven't felt comfortable enough to do so, I haven't continued to see them.

I've disclosed and not had a problem, I have heard of others being judged by others in the profession and that's more about the therapist than anything else.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: wishlist on 02 December 2016, 07:40:01 pm
mine told me last monday I lack shame, safe to say it didnt go down very well
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: FellowTraveller on 02 December 2016, 07:40:29 pm
I've disclosed and not had a problem, I have heard of others being judged by others in the profession and that's more about the therapist than anything else.

I completely agree I've had great counsellors when I've disclosed and others who've been terribly judgemental. That's why I'd always advise caution with disclosing.  Usually I've done so the second session and if I don't like their attitude I bin them. After all I'm the one paying!
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Luciexx on 02 December 2016, 08:55:30 pm
Personally, I won't spend a penny for any psych sessions.  It's easier to work on your self-esteem and accept your worth no matter how different a path you have chosen.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: loubyloo on 02 December 2016, 09:24:16 pm
mine told me last monday I lack shame, safe to say it didnt go down very well
This is what I'm afraid of.
I've noticed that my post has been merged with earlier q & a and its been helpful.
I think I'm going to go with my life story at the moment, after all, these problems were around waaayyy before I started escorting, so I don't believe my job is affecting long term mental health problems.
I'll post an update tomorrow.
Thanks everyone for your replies
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Shewolf on 02 December 2016, 09:31:35 pm
One of my clients is a psychotherapist. He is adamant that long term sex workers are able to do the work because they are good at 'splitting', due to the fact they were abused as children. He says he has met quite a few. Just goes to show that even very experienced counsellors can have fixed views when really they should remain open-minded.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: ana30 on 03 December 2016, 01:07:16 am
One of my clients is a psychotherapist. He is adamant that long term sex workers are able to do the work because they are good at 'splitting', due to the fact they were abused as children. He says he has met quite a few. Just goes to show that even very experienced counsellors can have fixed views when really they should remain open-minded.

I'm very good at separating "work" from "personal"and I've never been abused in my life, I just love how therapists project their own issues on patients and get away with it, hence the reason it makes me so adamant to go on therapy. Last therapist I went to she was completely fascinated with my line of work and we ended me doing therapy on her . Basically I payed her so we could work on her issues. And she had a lot. Its very difficult to find a true professional, an open minded issue free therapist  who wont charge you a ton of money or slut shame you.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Daria00 on 03 December 2016, 07:33:08 am
Ana30 you should charge her  ;)
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Shewolf on 03 December 2016, 12:11:24 pm
which is why we would probably make good therapists ourselves...

Ana, your therapist...how unprofessional was she! Shocking. You should have reported her to the BACP.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: FellowTraveller on 03 December 2016, 01:03:41 pm
The frightening thing is almost anyone can set up as a psychotherapist - there are no minimum qualifications, the same goes for counsellors. Anyone who's never seen one before I'd say do a lot of research, ask questions - and that's BEFORE you see them. Check out the qualifications they claim to have.

All in all I'd recommend seeing a psychologist, not a psychotherapist or counsellor, as they do actually have to do a significant amount of training, medical and otherwise.

These things I've only found out by trial and error. After all you are putting your MH in someone's hands. Tread carefully and pick wisely.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Shewolf on 03 December 2016, 01:22:20 pm
Psychologists are more about diagnosing mental conditions though aren't they? And psychotherapists/counsellors meant to help you to take control of your issues etc....?

Best to go on the BACP website as they are all qualified on there.

A fellow dog walker I chat to is a counsellor though on that site and he tells me stories about his clients. That's not good is it? Also, the psychotherapist I see (client) is highly qualified but I have found him to say some things to me that show up his ignorance a bit (e.g one thing he says is that sex addiction is a fallacy) so...yes...finding a good counsellor is tricky.

I did a basic counselling course and I found that to actually do some counsellor training was a great way to increase one's self awareness which is one aim of going to a counsellor...
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: FellowTraveller on 03 December 2016, 02:00:28 pm
Psychologists are more about diagnosing mental conditions though aren't they? And psychotherapists/counsellors meant to help you to take control of your issues etc....?

Best to go on the BACP website as they are all qualified on there.

A fellow dog walker I chat to is a counsellor though on that site and he tells me stories about his clients. That's not good is it? Also, the psychotherapist I see (client) is highly qualified but I have found him to say some things to me that show up his ignorance a bit (e.g one thing he says is that sex addiction is a fallacy) so...yes...finding a good counsellor is tricky.

I did a basic counselling course and I found that to actually do some counsellor training was a great way to increase one's self awareness which is one aim of going to a counsellor...

Psychiatrists can diagnose and then manage the treatment of MH conditions and can prescribe medication, usually treating people with more severe MH conditions.

 Psychologists  focus on treating emotional/mental suffering with behavioural intervention, will have done 3 years clinical training as well as having a degree in psychology.

Psychotherapists and Counsellors may or may not have done training courses. This is more about talking therapy. Many will have no medical background or specialist MH training.

Obviously there are good and bad in all categories but I have tried counsellors, psychotherapists and psychologists and found the last group to be the most likely to have a good understanding of MH and what makes a person tick, so they certainly get my vote. The clinical background is a massive bonus.

Depends what you are looking for I guess. And how great your needs are.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: amy on 03 December 2016, 02:02:18 pm
Can we keep it sex work related as per the thread title, please? It's wandering off, and I'm pretty sure there are other places covering this sort of stuff :).
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: FellowTraveller on 03 December 2016, 02:11:24 pm
Can we keep it sex work related as per the thread title, please? It's wandering off, and I'm pretty sure there are other places covering this sort of stuff :).

Sorry got carried away there explaining the differences! Still useful however.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Shewolf on 03 December 2016, 06:45:50 pm
It is sex work related. It's advice for sex workers seeking therapy...!
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: FellowTraveller on 03 December 2016, 07:00:38 pm
It is sex work related. It's advice for sex workers seeking therapy...!

That's actually true it may appear to be general advice but actually what I said applies to SWs just as it applies to anyone seeking therapy. Definitely applicable to SW seeking counselling etc!
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: amy on 03 December 2016, 07:22:44 pm
People in sex work sharing their experiences of different types of counselling and therapy in different situations, and whether they found them worthwhile or not (and so on) is definitely pertinent to the forum.

Getting into detailed discussions about the types of therapy/therapists themselves without any sex work context belongs somewhere else. The fact that some sex workers have therapy doesn't make it relevant - most of us also have teeth and see dentists but that isn't a reason to have a detailed discussion about dentistry.

It's getting increasingly common to have people asking general health related questions about things which have no link to prostitution at all except for them having been kept from working. These soon spin off topic and whilst it (hopefully) doesn't do any harm, this isn't a medical forum, the people here are not medical professionals and most important of all, the person asking would be far better spending their time asking someone credible and accountable who is properly equipped to to help them, not anonymous people on an internet message board.

Back to sex work and therapists, please. If the above is still unclear, by all means send a PM to someone other than me :).
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Ebonypru on 03 December 2016, 11:03:04 pm
You should have reported her to her professional body!   She does not deserve to be entrusted with people's minds.  Charging you all those sessions for "salacious" details to share at her middle class dinner parties!   Sorry you went through that!

I've been in therapy a few times through out my life, nothing too serious, but I've suffered from GAD since I was a child (general anxiety disorder). So I've put myself in the hands of different shrinks. I always disclose my sex work occupation -amongst other things- on the first session. My last shrink was a very conservative female who wanted to know all the dirty details of my job, she was utterly fascinated by it, almost all the sessions spinned around my "occupation". This was getting a tad exhausting because sex work is just a part of my life, I don't spin my life around it. It's not what makes me as a person, it's just a PART of who i am. I don't want to pay $$$$, sit for an hour and talk about "the dirty details" to some civvie woman with a a horrified expression on her face. After 5 sessions she confesses me that she is completely against sex work. Ok, fair enough. So I ask her "why'. She looks at me completely astonished and says: "Well, it's like having a  patient who's a pedophile or a drug dealer, why should I be ok with it?"

I told her it was nice to meet ya and walked out of the room. And this is why I'm asking for a shrink with references, because I don't want to loose my time and my money with someone unprofessional.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Ebonypru on 03 December 2016, 11:34:01 pm
Actually, you don't know this for a fact, Amy.  Just that the more precarious a person's day job is, the less likely they are going to admit to doing it on here, especially in the forums that can be read by the public, or be used against them by a bunny boiler member of the forum.  There are more credible and accountable people here on this forum (for this issue) than you'd realise.  The anonymity ensures their training and qualifications don't go down the swanny because they disclosed too much openly.

This is a fascinating thread. There's a lot I could say on this topic but can't, having been burnt by a bunny boiler escort many years ago.

But the importance of finding a kink aware therapist is so important.  Civilians just simply cannot handle anything other than missionary sex in a monogamous set-up.   The moment you identify as anything other than straight monogamy, they've stopped listening objectively to what you have to say as a person.  Always trying to tie it back to the escorting.  Whereas the truth is that your today is moulded on your experiences as a child. 

I would not dream of disclosing my experiences as an escort with an outsider.  I hear the crap they laugh about when discussing anyone with a fetish, or involved in sex work, polyamory or whatever.

In truth, you need someone that can help you without having to have you relive all the knots and bolts of your past.  Someone that can work with your issues in a content free (meaning you don't have to disclose any details you don't want to.   Anyone that insists you have to spend years in "therapy" where you do most of the talking, and feel like shit because you've had to relive the dark stuff by talking about it, just sees you as a gravy train. 
 

Quote from: amy link=topic=29677.msg272307#  msg272307 date=1480792964
the people here are not medical professionals and most important of all, the person asking would be far better spending their time asking someone credible and accountable who is properly equipped to to help them, not anonymous people on an internet message board.

Back to sex work and therapists, please. If the above is still unclear, by all means send a PM to someone other than me :).
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Shewolf on 04 December 2016, 10:10:58 pm
QUOTE: 'My last shrink was a very conservative female who wanted to know all the dirty details of my job.... So I ask her "why'. She looks at me completely astonished and says: "Well, it's like having a  patient who's a pedophile or a drug dealer, why should I be ok with it?"

Why should she be ok with it????!!! Because she is a professional therapist who is supposed to give her clients unconditional positive regard. In order to do this, she must not judge as this will impede growth, of her client and also herself. Surely the counsellor-client relationship is one in which both parties learn and develop?

Therapists who judge sex workers would learn so much from opening their minds, listening and reflecting on what is uncovered. A quality therapist would want to do this. They would want to learn.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Luciexx on 05 December 2016, 10:41:49 am
I should think, that to civvie women (especially, married), hookers would be considered to be a public enemy no 1 (though I am a civvie woman in my off times).  Women who actively "corrupt" their men.  What they don't understand is that it's the men, who are driving the industry.  Yes, possibly her husband or her bf could be punting.  I think it is the fear in these women that their beloved "men" might be spending their money on sex behind their back.  I doubt it but you never know.  Her previous Bf was using hookers and she broke up with him.  Never know.. :)
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: ana30 on 05 December 2016, 01:32:33 pm
QUOTE: 'My last shrink was a very conservative female who wanted to know all the dirty details of my job.... So I ask her "why'. She looks at me completely astonished and says: "Well, it's like having a  patient who's a pedophile or a drug dealer, why should I be ok with it?"

Why should she be ok with it????!!! Because she is a professional therapist who is supposed to give her clients unconditional positive regard. In order to do this, she must not judge as this will impede growth, of her client and also herself. Surely the counsellor-client relationship is one in which both parties learn and develop?

Therapists who judge sex workers would learn so much from opening their minds, listening and reflecting on what is uncovered. A quality therapist would want to do this. They would want to learn.

Don't even get me started by comparing my work which is a 100% legal and consensual activity between 2 adults that doesn't hurt anyone to something like pedophilia or drug dealing which is illegal, non consensual, horrible abuse and pretty much ruins lifes.

 ???
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Nia Hope on 05 December 2016, 08:32:22 pm
I think our job is a mystery to most 'Oh a real life prostitute' i see a male therapist that said to me that I shouldn't be afraid to share details of my work, I read this as he wants to perve about it, I am so honest with him I told him I felt like this and asked if this was the case, he denied it and said he'd tell anyone the same thing.

I think this job makes us paranoid maybe, x

Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Luciexx on 06 December 2016, 05:27:11 pm
Paranoid?  I doubt it.

I think he crossed the line slightly.  What is he going to do with such specific info?  Wanking materials?
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: SweetAngel on 08 June 2017, 07:10:29 am
Hi girls. I am considering to try counselling for not job related issue however I would like to be able to be open about my bussines as I believe that being honest about if would make it much more effective than saying that I work in office or restaurant. Do you think I can be open about it to any psychologist or I have to make good research and pick the right one? Thanks x
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: seraphine on 08 June 2017, 06:49:47 pm
.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Nonyer on 08 June 2017, 07:29:30 pm
I don't think any shrinks are judgemental, if they were then they are poor at their job.

Some shrinks are incredibly judgemental, displaying their judgement in various degrees.

Of course it's not appropriate and yes those ones are shit at their job.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: ghostworld on 08 June 2017, 09:51:59 pm
I posted on here a while ago about having a terribly judgemental doctor, I stopped seeing her and did some more research and found a therapist for DBT who had lots of experience treating people who had been diagnosed with HIV and also male sex workers, I figured she was likely to much more open minded and I was right. I am glad I didn't get discouraged by my bad experiences as it has helped me loads.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: LittleM on 02 December 2018, 09:57:15 pm
Hi,

I've been escorting part-time for about 3 years. I have a v.ordinary civvy job & have kept this side of my life completely secret from all my family, from all my friends and to be truthful, it's beginning to take its toll. I desperately feel like I need to be able to talk to someone about this aspect of my life, it's so painful to keep lying to everyone about why I'm so busy, why I don't have time, where I'm dashing off to. Lying about what I've got up to at the weekend.

It's hard to have no-one to speak to about my bad experiences, why I fluctuate between feeling worthless, disgusting and like no man will ever ever accept me for a long-term r/ship, and feeling almost validated because men pay me for sex so ergo, I must be somewhat worth something?

Does anyone have any recommendations for escort-friendly therapists in the Greater London area who won't judge me? Who won't try and make it about my 'daddy abandonment issues' or condemn me for my line of work?

I'm just sat here crying my eyes out on a Sunday night, feeling so lonely. So desperate.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: amy on 02 December 2018, 10:04:07 pm
Merged, since there ought to be some helpful stuff here already :)
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: LittleM on 03 December 2018, 08:10:14 am
Merged, since there ought to be some helpful stuff here already :)

Thanks Amy - I did search therapist in the search box, but as you imagine, it brought a lot of 'massage therapist etc.' threads.
xoxo
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Mirror on 03 December 2018, 08:20:32 am
In case anyone else asks I am aware of understanding therapists in a different area, which I'm happy to mention by pm.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: HankyPanky on 04 December 2018, 06:49:58 pm
I met a qualified and practising psychotherapist and counsellor a year ago on tinder who lived near me, we dated for a month and in that time he was constantly pointing out people locally (we live in the same area) who used to see him and what for.  Thankfully I never told him I was a SW or no doubt he would have outted me on one of his next conquests. The thing is they are under a code of conduct for privacy, but how many people discuss work with their partners (well other than me  :P )
 what I am saying is from my experience see a therapist out of your local area if it's about discussing your SW, I could have just met a wrong un, but the fact he is 25 years into his own practice, PHD and MSC qualified and certified by British board of psychotherapists he still used to tell me about the guy in the local costa coffee that told him in therapy he used to wank into the sandwiches!   
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Mirror on 04 December 2018, 07:40:56 pm
I met a qualified and practising psychotherapist and counsellor a year ago on tinder who lived near me, we dated for a month and in that time he was constantly pointing out people locally (we live in the same area) who used to see him and what for.  Thankfully I never told him I was a SW or no doubt he would have outted me on one of his next conquests. The thing is they are under a code of conduct for privacy, but how many people discuss work with their partners (well other than me  :P )
 what I am saying is from my experience see a therapist out of your local area if it's about discussing your SW, I could have just met a wrong un, but the fact he is 25 years into his own practice, PHD and MSC qualified and certified by British board of psychotherapists he still used to tell me about the guy in the local costa coffee that told him in therapy he used to wank into the sandwiches!

Flipping heck he shouldn't be in the position he is, unfortunately there are prats in all lines of work.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Honeyxx on 08 January 2020, 11:45:39 am
Hi does anyone know of any sw friendly therapists / counsellors / psychiatrists / places I can go to talk to someone that can help please
My pms are open to share it privately x
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Mirror on 08 January 2020, 12:18:49 pm
Hi does anyone know of any sw friendly therapists / counsellors / psychiatrists / places I can go to talk to someone that can help please
My pms are open to share it privately x

Look up Pink Therapy.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: ana30 on 04 July 2020, 03:22:09 pm
Hiya,

Bumping this thread again as my therapist just retired after the pandemic (he's an older guy and has decided to call it quits, oh well  ???).

If anyone knows or could give me a reference of a great shrink in the London area (who is SW friendly and open minded) would you be so kind as to PM me? I would really appreciate it.

Thanks all.

Ana
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: DarcyLady on 04 July 2020, 04:06:53 pm
I met a qualified and practising psychotherapist and counsellor a year ago on tinder who lived near me, we dated for a month and in that time he was constantly pointing out people locally (we live in the same area) who used to see him and what for.  Thankfully I never told him I was a SW or no doubt he would have outted me on one of his next conquests. The thing is they are under a code of conduct for privacy, but how many people discuss work with their partners (well other than me  :P )
 what I am saying is from my experience see a therapist out of your local area if it's about discussing your SW, I could have just met a wrong un, but the fact he is 25 years into his own practice, PHD and MSC qualified and certified by British board of psychotherapists he still used to tell me about the guy in the local costa coffee that told him in therapy he used to wank into the sandwiches!

....And this is why I've never trusted therapists or psychiatrists...  :-\
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: ana30 on 04 July 2020, 04:40:02 pm
....And this is why I've never trusted therapists or psychiatrists...  :-\

Yep, I used to have a client (married), he was an older guy who would  search for very young students in need on craigslist because "they were cheaper than ho-kers and much more naive" (his own words), then get entangled into these really drama fueled relationships with them. The guy was so messed up. I couldn;t believe people were putting their mental health in the hands of this man. I'm very wary-picky-choosy when it comes to giving my power,money and time to someone.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Escortx on 28 September 2021, 08:41:32 am
I’m looking for a therapist or counselling online not sure what the difference is. But want someone who’s not judgmental about work. Has anyone else had any? Pm if you don’t want to talk publicly. I have tried the nhs but I’m worried they would judge and they keep making apps I can’t keep with touring.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Femme fatale on 28 September 2021, 10:33:29 am
The trouble with nhs you often end up on a long waiting list and it does of course go on your medical records.
You are then expected to comit to complete sessions with a therapist which as you say could be an inconvenience to you when touring.
I've messaged you also
K x
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Miffy on 28 September 2021, 10:40:05 am
A counsellor is someone who will sit and listen to you, someone who will nudge you when needed and possibly guide you in reaching your own conclusions about what you need to do. A therapist can work this way too, however, that all depends on what kind of therapist they are ie. a psychotherapist or, analysts (as they are known in the US). Psychotherapy is hard work. Often, it involves multiple weekly sessions for a number of years as the idea is to find the root cause(s) of your problems. There's also Psychodynamic therapy, something I tired and it wasn't for me.

I suspect you just need a straight forward counsellor. I saw one privately (I paid) for quite a few years and it was hugely beneficial. However, it is incredibly rare to find a straightforward counsellor on the NHS as the therapy they push is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy which I am certain is not the kind you are looking for. (This is therapy's aim is for you to change your own behaviour). Also, be advised that on the NHS, the waiting lists can be long and you only get a set amount of sessions.

If you do decide to pay for therapy, then you will be able to find a sex worker friendly one. Your dynamic with your therapist is essential and if you do decide to enter into therapy, make sure you keep looking until you find a therapist you click with. I would advise you contact the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy as they will be best able to advise you further.

One thing you must understand is that the majority of therapists works to a schedule. They will expect to see/speak to you at the same time and on the same day every week. This is for your benefit too. They want you to commit to your therapy and why they insist on working in a certain way. Very few, if any, will make an exception and see you ad hoc.

Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: roseanna on 05 February 2022, 02:33:06 pm
he still used to tell me about the guy in the local costa coffee that told him in therapy he used to wank into the sandwiches!

I thought after doing this for such a long time there wasn't much I haven't heard of. Wrong!!!

That's kind of interesting to hear about, as well as being totally gross, on all sorts of levels. I wonder what steps the likes of Costa take to avoid that sort of thing happening.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: roseanna on 05 February 2022, 02:34:07 pm
....And this is why I've never trusted therapists or psychiatrists...  :-\

Me too.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Mirror on 05 February 2022, 03:57:04 pm
Has anyone mentioned Pink Therapy?
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: amy on 05 February 2022, 05:12:12 pm
Has anyone mentioned Pink Therapy?

Yes, you have :).

Look up Pink Therapy.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: franticgirl90 on 07 April 2022, 08:09:15 pm
I had another therapy session today (I have had it on a weekly basis for 8 months now) and I left truly shocked. I still don't understand what happened. I was open about my job from the beginning and the therapist said she is a sex-worker allied so it's all good. And I had the impression that she is. I went there with many personal life issues so never talked about the job much. After I spoke about safety and abusive situations from clients that happened to me, a week after she told me she is worried about me when I'm even a few minutes late for therapy and she has a feeling that I will disappear (something will happen t me because of the job). Obviously, we all know it's dangerous sometimes but those situations happened to me less than a few times over the last 3 years and it wasn't even that serious. So I felt it was weird she is telling me that and that she shouldn't disclose her fears to me as it weighs on me. But never mind. It is what she told me today that blew my mind.

So basically we were talking about my plans for the future, I'm a student and she knows that this job is just temporary for me as my dream job is something different, which I'm studying thowards. So she asked me something like if my future job can coexist with my escorting past (in my mind). For me, it was like a slap in the face because I knew straight away that she suggests that escorting is somehow immoral. I asked why she asking me this, and she basically went silent for a few minutes trying to rephrase this question to not offend me. Then she said that if I think I will be able to still work as an escort and work in my future profession. I knew she didn't mean that in the first place because she knows that I'm not gonna work as an escort after I finish my studies. Then she said that working in healthcare conflicts with being an escort. When I will help people get healthy in the future job it is conflict with the fact that as an escort I'm risking my health to STIs. And then she continued to imply by further questions that I'm scared or should be scared of STIs...

What the actual fuck? I feel betrayed as I thought she is sex-work friendly. But now I feel that she basically thinks that all escorts are full of STIs and that this job damages me mentally and somehow marks me that I won't be able morally to have any other job in the future. But maybe I misunderstood her?
Should therapists even ask this kind of question out of the blue?! Why does she feels like it's ok to ask those questions if we haven't even spoken about it...
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: PureDeebauchery on 07 April 2022, 08:41:11 pm
I've had EMDR therapy. It's real treatment I highly suggest it xx
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Miranda111 on 07 April 2022, 10:36:26 pm
I was open about my job from the beginning and the therapist said she is a sex-worker allied so it's all good.

But is she accredited with a relevant organisation? Anyone can say they they are a therapist, but professional therapists accredited with regulatory bodies are trained to postgraduate level and have high standards of practice.

Some things you say about your therapist seem concerning, so I wonder if she is a professional therapist (I suspect she is not).
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: franticgirl90 on 07 April 2022, 10:59:23 pm
But is she accredited with a relevant organisation? Anyone can say they they are a therapist, but professional therapists accredited with regulatory bodies are trained to postgraduate level and have high standards of practice.

Some things you say about your therapist seem concerning, so I wonder if she is a professional therapist (I suspect she is not).

She have masters and is accredited and registered with FPC and UKCP. She has her supervisions too.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Miffy on 08 April 2022, 03:01:54 am
Quote from: franticgirl90

So basically we were talking about my plans for the future, I'm a student and she knows that this job is just temporary for me as my dream job is something different, which I'm studying thowards. So she asked me something like if my future job can coexist with my escorting past (in my mind). For me, it was like a slap in the face because I knew straight away that she suggests that escorting is somehow immoral. I asked why she asking me this, and she basically went silent for a few minutes trying to rephrase this question to not offend me. Then she said that if I think I will be able to still work as an escort and work in my future profession. I knew she didn't mean that in the first place because she knows that I'm not gonna work as an escort after I finish my studies. Then she said that working in healthcare conflicts with being an escort. When I will help people get healthy in the future job it is conflict with the fact that as an escort I'm risking my health to STIs. And then she continued to imply by further questions that I'm scared or should be scared of STIs...

What the actual fuck? I feel betrayed as I thought she is sex-work friendly. But now I feel that she basically thinks that all escorts are full of STIs and that this job damages me mentally and somehow marks me that I won't be able morally to have any other job in the future. But maybe I misunderstood her?
Should therapists even ask this kind of question out of the blue?! Why does she feels like it's ok to ask those questions if we haven't even spoken about it...

I could tell you what I think, and another poster could tell you their view. But we would be both guessing. The only way you can really get to the bottom of this is by arranging another session and asking her directly about what you has said. I suspect it’s a simple misunderstanding. I think you are projecting many things onto her words, hence the misunderstanding, but also, given your reaction, maybe you need to explore this topic anyway as it has clearly struck a nerve. But, at the same time, she is projecting her fears of violence towards sex workers onto you, something that is quite natural given what you have shared about your experiences escorting. However, she should be able to rein that in and not tell you that she worries about you disappearing/something untoward happening to you.

If up until now you have found working with this therapist beneficial, I urge you to talk to her about how she has made you feel - this is so important. Chances are she will know she has inadvertently got it very wrong. It will also be useful for you to lay out boundaries with regards to sex work and make it very clear that all sex is open to an element of risk, and that as an escort, you take utmost due diligence to minimise any exposure to STIs that will compromise your (sexual) health.

Does she think sex work is immoral, and has she said this to you directly? Probably not. And yes, a therapist can ask questions out of the blue if they are relevant to the conversation. Also, and unfortunately, therapy can be grossly uncomfortable at times.

In terms of sex work affecting your future career, it is possibly more for practical reasons she is mentioning this rather than STIs. How your two careers/these two facets of your personality will co-exist is an entirely valid question. Escorting full-time is very different work, not to mention financially. How will you feel earning less money and potentially working longer hours for less pay. Your standard of living might well drop. How will you feel about that? I am sure these is what she meant to explore with you rather than the avenue taken. The only way you will find out is if you talk to her.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: seachild on 08 April 2022, 05:51:50 pm
I have seen a private therapist for the past 1 year and now I switched to another one. Both of my therapist are men and sw friendly, you can filter it when searching on Psychology Today. It would make sense for all therapist to be sw friendly, but if they do not mention it on their profile they probably aren't. I think it's worth looking for an ally (or a therapist who used to sex work as my previous one had) so they can treat you as any other regular client rather than blaming all your issues on your profession.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: JellyBean on 29 May 2022, 03:01:18 pm
I had online therapy she only offers this, I did all the talking and not once did she say anything. I was going back to my childhood. Later on i felt very low, I sent her an email to express how i didnt feel she showed me any support or emapthy and she replied 7 hours later  with, upon reflection she didnt express any empathy and that is most unusual for her but internally she felt different and she knows whats going on and will talk to me in our next session which  cost me £120. Is this acceptable? I ask this as i feel i wasted my money on that session and she wants me to do another.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: Lushblossom on 29 May 2022, 05:53:33 pm
JellyBean I think she maybe heard you mention your hourly rate and has decided she must charge the same as you. You are free to cancel seeing a therapist at any stage as a rule so do go ahead and stop seeing her if that is how you feel. Just make it clear to her though. Sometimes it is hard to gel with a person.
Title: Re: Therapists and sex work
Post by: JellyBean on 30 May 2022, 10:59:21 am
 ;D Lush, I had already asked her charges prior to telling her anything. I suppose I am insulted that she admits it then wants me to see her again. Yes your right I don’t gel with her. Thank you.