See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: Therapists and sex work  (Read 12987 times)

Lois01827

  • Guest
Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #30 on: 21 November 2015, 01:36:48 am »
This is predominantly about judgement by clueless twats who base their 'facts' on theoretic banded about studies and their own close-minded views - how dare they!! I work in mental health and have done for over 20 years and in a pretty highly regarded position on a self employed basis. I personally have found that my escorting is a more exciting and enjoyable way to live my life as opposed to trying to fall into the thinking of these stuck up assholes. Hence, now, my day job is only a cover. (Manicured, middle finger well and truly extended to all those close-minded twits)

I echo what the others have said including finding an alternative provider. Their ignorant pompousness is probably the biggest contributor towards your mental awareness; as if we don't have enough arrogant wankers to deal with  :FF

Sorry....what? Lois?...you work in Mental Health AND are sex positive?? I think I love you !  :-*

I do indeed Cat - without giving too much away I provide consultancy on how to take down big-wigs (NHS and the like) who are unjustifiably authoritarian to vulnerable people as they can't be arsed to do what they are supposed to, by using the loopholes of MH law to its full advantage  ;D

Lois - THANK YOU. Thank you and thank you. Thank you for doing this for 'us' (as a MH collective). You and I know how much MH is very much undermined and misunderstood...so THANK YOU for being there and fighting on especially in the current climate. Perhaps our paths may one day cross. Maybe they have already!

Sorry everyone for the OT.

Ah, you are very welcome  :-* ...I'm very passionate about supporting people and ensuring that they are not being taken advantage of or made to feel that they are nothing, because of jumped up idiots with birkenstocks and chinos, who use jargon to intimidate vulnerable folk and just medicate the effect as opposed to addressing the cause, to shut them up  :FF I've got a rep as a ball-breaker in my field; one I'm very proud of  ;D
You can PM me if you like Cat (in case we are going off thread) xx
« Last Edit: 21 November 2015, 01:39:48 am by Lois01827 »

Emma_C

  • Guest
Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #31 on: 21 November 2015, 08:51:13 am »
Your therapist sounds like a completely judgmental twat who should be struck off. Giving personal opinion is strictly a no no as I don't don't need to tell you.

I had a supposed NLP coach who was going through her own crisis it seems, she was in her mid 40's & told me she was shagging a 23 yr old guy & said I had nothing to offer anyone in a relationship capacity, yet he left her husband because he was depressed... Silly cow!

What they mean is that unwanted sex can cause psychological trauma. Going into a state of disassociation isn't too good for the soul. The more you do it the better you get at disconnecting from yourself. You can obviously experience this in relationships too. If you have bad past experiences relating to sex then it can be re-triggered doing this job of course.

I've come out in raging Hives going to my former sales job so I quit & came back into escorting. My hives are getting better! So is my mental health, I'm a lot less stressed.

The thing is with therapist is that you get the god complex types who may even have NPD, so it's going to re-traumatise you when you come into contact with them & they will purposely cause more damage.  So hard trying to find a decent one, I know how frustrating it is. NLP with a decent practitioner is good for reprogramming any deep rooted "damage". A really good book that comes recommended by a well know life coach on youtube is Pete Walker - Complex PTSD: from surviving to thriving.


SW

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 300
Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #32 on: 21 November 2015, 10:54:39 am »
I've trained in Person-Centered Counselling and one of the core conditions you should offer your clients is unconditional positive regard, seeing the world from their point of view and offering no judgements!

If you decide to complain the therapist in question could do with the feedback for their professional and personal development!

(they may not be person centered but all approaches should value this condition)


ghostworld

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 70
Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #33 on: 31 July 2016, 04:32:48 pm »
Hey,

Recently I started to see a psychotherapist, she is very well qualified and very expensive! We spoke a little on the phone before meeting and she sounded warm and understanding. Anyway, a few meetings in and I told about my job, her reaction was super judgemental, she said she would never judge but it was so obvious from her face. She then said that nearly all sex workers have been sexually abused, and questioned if my dad had ever done anything to me, she also said that sometimes things can happen but be suppressed, so you don't remember that it happened. Oh, and also that I am a sex addict! She is an actual Psychiatrist, I know I should know that qualifications don't mean shit when it comes to people talking out of their arse (especially when it comes to Sex work), but I still think she was quite unprofessional, and re markedly quick to come to her conclusions. I won't be seeing her again, but it has put me off therapy now! Has anyone else had experience with therapists? Did you tell them about your job and how did they react?

Kazzle

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 209
Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #34 on: 31 July 2016, 04:49:29 pm »
I trained to be a therapist but decided against completing my course when I realised that a large percentage of people doing the training had unresolved issues. Also some of them had very fixed ideas that they were reluctant to let go of, especially when it comes to women and sex,  so I'm not too surprised that you ran into problems.

There are good, none judgemental therapists out there. I'm not sure how you'd find one though.


amy

  • Administrator
  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13,695
Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #35 on: 31 July 2016, 04:58:30 pm »
GW, I've merged this with a couple of similar threads and there are others - as you can see it comes up quite a bit. I think there are a few people offering recommendations dotted about, although it depends where you are :).
Nicolas Cage is my spirit animal

meetingdiversity

  • Guest
Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #36 on: 31 July 2016, 05:47:40 pm »
Hey,

Recently I started to see a psychotherapist, she is very well qualified and very expensive! We spoke a little on the phone before meeting and she sounded warm and understanding. Anyway, a few meetings in and I told about my job, her reaction was super judgemental, she said she would never judge but it was so obvious from her face. She then said that nearly all sex workers have been sexually abused, and questioned if my dad had ever done anything to me, she also said that sometimes things can happen but be suppressed, so you don't remember that it happened. Oh, and also that I am a sex addict! She is an actual Psychiatrist, I know I should know that qualifications don't mean shit when it comes to people talking out of their arse (especially when it comes to Sex work), but I still think she was quite unprofessional, and re markedly quick to come to her conclusions. I won't be seeing her again, but it has put me off therapy now! Has anyone else had experience with therapists? Did you tell them about your job and how did they react?

Men are more understanding from my experience. I told mine since day one he was cool about it and had no problem. He treats me with respect and dignity and am very happy to have him there by my side. I see him weekly and only charges 60 pound per hour. :) He has helped me with leaving escorting and is superb. :) His a psychologist analyst the best ones out there. We have our laughs and jokes ups and downs but he is still there for me. :) He is superb. :) Am very happy. :) I'm living in good light. :). It's amazing.
« Last Edit: 31 July 2016, 05:49:45 pm by meetingdiversity »

LadyOfTheNight

  • Guest
Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #37 on: 31 July 2016, 08:47:33 pm »
I'm not embarrassed to say that I have seen various counsellors, psychologists and a psychiatrist for ongoing issues.

My approach has always been not to tell them immediately what I do, if I feel comfortable I tell them, if I get a bad vibe I don't. The reasons I see them anyway is nothing to do with work so it's not always necessary for me to tell them anyway.

I made a mistake with one and she was saying slightly similar things about abuse etcetera in a different context. Needless to say I did not continue seeing her.

Please don't let this one person put you off. She was incredibly judgmental  and and seems to have based her whole concept of working girls on stereotypes. Which is exactly what she was supposed not to do.

There are plenty of psychologists, psychiatrists, counsellors etc who are not like that. And just remember that just because someone is very expensive doesn't  mean they are any better at what they  do.

Wailing Banshee

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 793
Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #38 on: 01 August 2016, 10:34:28 am »
I can recommend a sex work positive therapist in the north of England who also offers online as well as face to face sessions, reasonably priced and a qualified and registered counselor. Please PM me for details.

Mirror

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 5,340
Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #39 on: 01 August 2016, 04:57:00 pm »
I've had positive experiences with both male and female therapist's.

I'm also one myself - so going against the presumption that women are more likely to judge.

loubyloo

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 222
Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #40 on: 02 December 2016, 09:10:01 am »
I've had some mental health issues for many years and it's only now that I'm feeling ready to try to address this problem.
I have a phone consultation tomorrow to work out the best way for me to move forward and my question is,
Has anyone else sought help, counselling etc and if so have you told them that you're an escort?
I'm not sure how important it would be to be that open with them.
I'm sure they won't be judgemental but I'm feeling if I don't tell them the truth, then will it stop me from getting the right kind of help.
Thanks ladies

FellowTraveller

  • Guest
Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #41 on: 02 December 2016, 09:26:41 am »
I would not tell anyone in a phone consult. And would advise caution even if meeting a counsellor in person. Why? Because you cannot tell if you will continue with that particular person until you've had one full session. You need to have made that decision, that you are comfortable with them in other ways, before entrusting them with this information.

I have had good and bad experiences, and yes some are judgemental. These days I suss them out first before making a decision to fess up. If I haven't felt comfortable enough to do so, I haven't continued to see them.

HelenaB

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 26
Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #42 on: 02 December 2016, 12:51:58 pm »
I'm studying a psychotherapy Masters at the moment in London and, from all the theory etc that we've done, I can see that if someone went in with preconceived ideas about sex workers, LGBT+ people, kink etc, they would come out without having those ideas challenged at all. The theories all stem from Freud, Klein etc and are presented without anything to balance them. It did make me very angry to begin with.

For my application and in my interview, I wrote and spoke almost exclusively about the sex industry and BDSM (I've had really bad experiences at my previous university from the lecturers and other students because of being out about my job) - I wanted to know if I was going to be discriminated against again. But, the course leader was very accepting and I got a distinction for my first essay that was about sex workers (in an anti-pathologising way). I also know someone else who had the opposite experience at another university. It seems that there's no industry standard when it comes to this topic, as some therapists don't appear to realise their judgments are actually judgments, strangely.

I know a lot of people that have had bad experiences with therapists because of this job so I specifically chose one who writes about the sex industry and kink on her website and in various articles. She's amazing  :) Good luck with your search!

ana30

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 3,145
Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #43 on: 02 December 2016, 12:55:05 pm »
I've had some mental health issues for many years and it's only now that I'm feeling ready to try to address this problem.
I have a phone consultation tomorrow to work out the best way for me to move forward and my question is,
Has anyone else sought help, counselling etc and if so have you told them that you're an escort?
I'm not sure how important it would be to be that open with them.
I'm sure they won't be judgemental but I'm feeling if I don't tell them the truth, then will it stop me from getting the right kind of help.
Thanks ladies

I usually disclose it on the first session. If I get a negative or judgamental reaction I let them know right there on the spot and find another therapist.  I don't like to waste my time.
"I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination" (heard it on the tube)

Mirror

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 5,340
Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #44 on: 02 December 2016, 07:37:31 pm »
I would not tell anyone in a phone consult. And would advise caution even if meeting a counsellor in person. Why? Because you cannot tell if you will continue with that particular person until you've had one full session. You need to have made that decision, that you are comfortable with them in other ways, before entrusting them with this information.

I have had good and bad experiences, and yes some are judgemental. These days I suss them out first before making a decision to fess up. If I haven't felt comfortable enough to do so, I haven't continued to see them.

I've disclosed and not had a problem, I have heard of others being judged by others in the profession and that's more about the therapist than anything else.