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Author Topic: Therapists and sex work  (Read 12986 times)

ana30

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Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #15 on: 18 October 2015, 12:07:10 am »
I've been in therapy a few times through out my life, nothing too serious, but I've suffered from GAD since I was a child (general anxiety disorder). So I've put myself in the hands of different shrinks. I always disclose my sex work occupation -amongst other things- on the first session. My last shrink was a very conservative female who wanted to know all the dirty details of my job, she was utterly fascinated by it, almost all the sessions spinned around my "occupation". This was getting a tad exhausting because sex work is just a part of my life, I don't spin my life around it. It's not what makes me as a person, it's just a PART of who i am. I don't want to pay $$$$, sit for an hour and talk about "the dirty details" to some civvie woman with a a horrified expression on her face. After 5 sessions she confesses me that she is completely against sex work. Ok, fair enough. So I ask her "why'. She looks at me completely astonished and says: "Well, it's like having a  patient who's a pedophile or a drug dealer, why should I be ok with it?"

I told her it was nice to meet ya and walked out of the room. And this is why I'm asking for a shrink with references, because I don't want to loose my time and my money with someone unprofessional.
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Cat.

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Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #16 on: 18 October 2015, 12:52:14 am »
Does google help?

I totally get you, I thought about finding a therapist but escorts friendly too, don't give a monkey what they think of me or judge sex workers but I think they would do a better job if they had experienced escorts before they'll have a better view of this line of work.

firsttimer

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Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #17 on: 20 November 2015, 02:31:23 pm »
Not a rant as such, but why, when I go to the doctors etc (I have a long-term mental health issue) they suggest that escorting is mentally damaging?
Is there any real proof of this?
I tried to explain that I feel down when I'm NOT working and that due to my condition a job that provides financial security along with non-set hours and no boss is perfect for me, but I was met with a look of 'heard this before'.

I understand it's not for everyone and it's tough sometimes, but I was far more unfulfilled and depressed in my other jobs.

Nova

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Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #18 on: 20 November 2015, 02:36:30 pm »
Because stigma.
Some people would hate to be an escort. That's fine, I would hate to be a cleaner. But they assume that everyone feels the same as they do, because 'sex is dirty.' So therefore anyone who escorts must be damaged by it.
The number of therapists who have mental health problems is massive. Therefore counselling is a very dangerous profession and should be banned. (They don't like it when you use logic on them.)

firsttimer

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Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #19 on: 20 November 2015, 02:41:26 pm »
I just can't believe with all the other shit I have to talk about they focus on the one thing that I have control over? I remember my former shrink screwed up her face and said "Ewww, I couldn't do that" when I told her. It's just so unprofessional.

Am I fighting a losing battle explaining myself every time? Should I just tell them stories to make them even more disgusted? After almost 4 years I'm sick of them telling me it's making things worse. I genuinely can't understand the logic behind it.

amy

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Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #20 on: 20 November 2015, 05:01:46 pm »
I would drop whoever you're using at the moment, and most especially if you're paying them. They obviously can't be bothered to treat you as an individual, autonomous adult or even to remember that different people are affected in different ways by different things. As you said, it's unprofessional, lazy and offensive to the degree that I'd be thinking seriously of making a complaint, too.

I've had civvy jobs over the years which I hated, one or two to the point where I would dread going to work to the degree I felt physically sick because they made me so miserable and depressed, but nobody as yet has banned bar work, cleaning (which I always liked :)) or being a shop assistant. Many people will have felt lasting affects from the work they've done whether it's teaching, police or prison work, nursing, the armed forces or selling cars and just as many if not more will not - it's nothing to do with the activity and everything to do with the person doing it.
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Lady_Lust_XXX

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Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #21 on: 20 November 2015, 06:27:42 pm »
I think every job can be mentally damaging but fear of financial insecurity can be even more mentally damaging and being able to support yourself is so empowering. 

IMO like it was said above I think it could be people not being able to see through the stigma. 

I have suffered from mental health issues for 45 years but being able to support myself was very empowering and helped me a lot.

There are people who can deal with the stigma and there are people who can't and we are sometimes best not to even mention it but if we feel it best to then sadly we don't always get the outcome we want.

Get on with living as you have been which makes you feel better and unless asked about your occupation I would not say as you may get a negative response.

TC x
« Last Edit: 20 November 2015, 07:06:42 pm by Lady_Lust_XXX »
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Mirror

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Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #22 on: 20 November 2015, 06:33:40 pm »
I agree with Amy. I was told by a treatment provider that sex work would rot me to the core, and mean I'd never get well. I did get well, using a different, more successful approach.

I have however noticed recently that since I took the opportunity to make some lifestyle changes, which included changing how I worked, that I have made a final leap into full and absolute health. Before I made the changes I was just 'getting by' and thought I was doing well (financially yes, stress-level-wise no) when I actually wasn't. The changes however are not dissimilar to things recommended for all people in all jobs, I just couldn't see how it applied to my situation - and I also couldn't see how much I'd built my life around 'the job'.

So like Amy says all jobs have potential to cause damage, but that it is a very individual thing.

The_Lynx

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Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #23 on: 20 November 2015, 08:33:26 pm »
I would drop whoever you're using at the moment, and most especially if you're paying them. They obviously can't be bothered to treat you as an individual, autonomous adult or even to remember that different people are affected in different ways by different things. As you said, it's unprofessional, lazy and offensive to the degree that I'd be thinking seriously of making a complaint, too.

Ditto, there ARE therapists and shrinks who are not useless, you just have to find one.

As an anecdote, a friend of mine has recently filed a complaint against the shrink he was assigned by our national healthcare. The person wrote him down as "planning to commit suicide" and tried to take his driver's license after a short chat, in which he mentioned feeling apathetic and lonely. Considering he works as a driver, that would wreck his income and certainly wouldn't help things any. Not to mention that he has never considered offing himself. Some mental health professionals are simply useless.

TheLittleMatchGirl

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Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #24 on: 21 November 2015, 12:23:14 am »
I would drop whoever you're using at the moment, and most especially if you're paying them. They obviously can't be bothered to treat you as an individual, autonomous adult or even to remember that different people are affected in different ways by different things. As you said, it's unprofessional, lazy and offensive to the degree that I'd be thinking seriously of making a complaint, too.

I've had civvy jobs over the years which I hated, one or two to the point where I would dread going to work to the degree I felt physically sick because they made me so miserable and depressed, but nobody as yet has banned bar work, cleaning (which I always liked :)) or being a shop assistant. Many people will have felt lasting affects from the work they've done whether it's teaching, police or prison work, nursing, the armed forces or selling cars and just as many if not more will not - it's nothing to do with the activity and everything to do with the person doing it.

Absolutely, I still have really awful dreams about somewhere I worked 7/8 yrs ago, receptionist. It wasn't the work it was the people/environment.

Don't give up, it just takes time to find a decent counsellor, it's unbelievable how unprofessional many of them are
*** I can resist everything but temptation***

Lois01827

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Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #25 on: 21 November 2015, 12:41:45 am »
This is predominantly about judgement by clueless twats who base their 'facts' on theoretic banded about studies and their own close-minded views - how dare they!! I work in mental health and have done for over 20 years and in a pretty highly regarded position on a self employed basis. I personally have found that my escorting is a more exciting and enjoyable way to live my life as opposed to trying to fall into the thinking of these stuck up assholes. Hence, now, my day job is only a cover. (Manicured, middle finger well and truly extended to all those close-minded twits)

I echo what the others have said including finding an alternative provider. Their ignorant pompousness is probably the biggest contributor towards your mental awareness; as if we don't have enough arrogant wankers to deal with  :FF
« Last Edit: 21 November 2015, 12:45:57 am by Lois01827 »

Kay

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Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #26 on: 21 November 2015, 12:52:13 am »
Ditto what everyone else has said. Some people, especially women in my experience, are just so grossed out by the idea of having sex period, that doing it with random strangers - and actually enjoying it - is a concept they just can't get their heads around.

I miss my salary, but all in all I'm waaaay less stressed than I was 18 months, working long days surrounded by idiots and a three-hour round commute. That really was soul destroying. I genuinely do not feel at risk of mental damage from escorting, bar obviously being assaulted or something.
"There is no sin except stupidity" - Oscar Wilde

Cat_BBW

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Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #27 on: 21 November 2015, 01:03:11 am »
This is predominantly about judgement by clueless twats who base their 'facts' on theoretic banded about studies and their own close-minded views - how dare they!! I work in mental health and have done for over 20 years and in a pretty highly regarded position on a self employed basis. I personally have found that my escorting is a more exciting and enjoyable way to live my life as opposed to trying to fall into the thinking of these stuck up assholes. Hence, now, my day job is only a cover. (Manicured, middle finger well and truly extended to all those close-minded twits)

I echo what the others have said including finding an alternative provider. Their ignorant pompousness is probably the biggest contributor towards your mental awareness; as if we don't have enough arrogant wankers to deal with  :FF

Sorry....what? Lois?...you work in Mental Health AND are sex positive?? I think I love you !  :-*

Lois01827

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Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #28 on: 21 November 2015, 01:13:53 am »
This is predominantly about judgement by clueless twats who base their 'facts' on theoretic banded about studies and their own close-minded views - how dare they!! I work in mental health and have done for over 20 years and in a pretty highly regarded position on a self employed basis. I personally have found that my escorting is a more exciting and enjoyable way to live my life as opposed to trying to fall into the thinking of these stuck up assholes. Hence, now, my day job is only a cover. (Manicured, middle finger well and truly extended to all those close-minded twits)

I echo what the others have said including finding an alternative provider. Their ignorant pompousness is probably the biggest contributor towards your mental awareness; as if we don't have enough arrogant wankers to deal with  :FF

Sorry....what? Lois?...you work in Mental Health AND are sex positive?? I think I love you !  :-*

I do indeed Cat - without giving too much away I provide consultancy on how to take down big-wigs (NHS and the like) who are unjustifiably authoritarian to vulnerable people as they can't be arsed to do what they are supposed to, by using the loopholes of MH law to its full advantage  ;D 

Cat_BBW

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Re: Therapists and sex work
« Reply #29 on: 21 November 2015, 01:25:33 am »
This is predominantly about judgement by clueless twats who base their 'facts' on theoretic banded about studies and their own close-minded views - how dare they!! I work in mental health and have done for over 20 years and in a pretty highly regarded position on a self employed basis. I personally have found that my escorting is a more exciting and enjoyable way to live my life as opposed to trying to fall into the thinking of these stuck up assholes. Hence, now, my day job is only a cover. (Manicured, middle finger well and truly extended to all those close-minded twits)

I echo what the others have said including finding an alternative provider. Their ignorant pompousness is probably the biggest contributor towards your mental awareness; as if we don't have enough arrogant wankers to deal with  :FF

Sorry....what? Lois?...you work in Mental Health AND are sex positive?? I think I love you !  :-*

I do indeed Cat - without giving too much away I provide consultancy on how to take down big-wigs (NHS and the like) who are unjustifiably authoritarian to vulnerable people as they can't be arsed to do what they are supposed to, by using the loopholes of MH law to its full advantage  ;D

Lois - THANK YOU. Thank you and thank you. Thank you for doing this for 'us' (as a MH collective). You and I know how much MH is very much undermined and misunderstood...so THANK YOU for being there and fighting on especially in the current climate. Perhaps our paths may one day cross. Maybe they have already!

Sorry everyone for the OT.