SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: martine21 on 06 July 2014, 08:58:45 pm
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Hiya,
So last night I had a 6 hour booking with a client Ive seen before.
Well as the title of the post says really, he continuously had me having sex/giving him oral/me playing with myself.
I did ask for a break repeatedly to which he was quite aggressive in his manner and basically told me no.
Id had a couple of drinks during the booking (literally running to the toilet with them as he wouldnt leave me alone) which is why I wasnt more forceful and firm, and to be honest I just wanted him to come.
Well ive got up this morning and gave the booking some thought and this has deeply upset me today. He treated me like a piece of meat, didnt even talk to me really in the booking just 6 solid hours of bang bang.
Would you girls feel the same? I dont know if im overreacting but I do feel very taken advantage off after reflection and im going to have to have a few days off now cos its upset so much and im so sore.
Thank u as ever ladies (and gents!)
x
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Hiya - sorry it didn't go well for you.
It's difficult to know what to say really, as you were given advice ahead of the booking which you maybe overlooked - so perhaps it isn't advice you are looking for? Maybe just a rant instead?
This guy sounds like a total dick and I hope you don't dwell on the booking for long. All I would hope is that you take good care of yourself and perhaps see this as an experience to learn from, so that you don't find yourself in a similar situation again.
There is nothing wrong with being assertive. It is your body and your choice what happens during a booking.
Take care x
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Hiya,
So last night I had a 6 hour booking with a client Ive seen before.
Well as the title of the post says really, he continuously had me having sex/giving him oral/me playing with myself.
I did ask for a break repeatedly to which he was quite aggressive in his manner and basically told me no.
Id had a couple of drinks during the booking (literally running to the toilet with them as he wouldnt leave me alone) which is why I wasnt more forceful and firm, and to be honest I just wanted him to come.
Well ive got up this morning and gave the booking some thought and this has deeply upset me today. He treated me like a piece of meat, didnt even talk to me really in the booking just 6 solid hours of bang bang.
Would you girls feel the same? I dont know if im overreacting but I do feel very taken advantage off after reflection and im going to have to have a few days off now cos its upset so much and im so sore.
Thank u as ever ladies (and gents!)
x
What a prick! I know it's very clear that we sell sex but respect is vital, I feel for you I really do, we all learn by our experiences though and if you decide to do a long booking again be very clear that you want breaks and some bloody respect!
Pamper yourself over the next couple of days and rest, thankfully not all clients are so disrespectful x
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Thanks girls, to be honest I don't particularly want to see him again, hes been added to the block list.
Cheeky t**t asked me to stay an hour longer cos he'd paid so much!
My god but didn't I have to work for it and I wish I hadn't bothered taking the booking.
(Keep calm and think of the money)
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hes been added to the block list.
Very pleased to hear this :)
Take the idiot's money and spend the next couple of days relaxing and doing something nice for yourself.
xx
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You poor darling ... It's done now u got the money now treat yourself to something lovely ... A big reward for 6 hours hard work 😀... Try and put it to bed now and forget .,. Onwards And upwards .... Xxx
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That sucks, I'm sorry hun :( Don't think you're overreacting at all, he sounds like a rude prick. Good for you for blocking him and agreeing never to see him again, but I'm sorry ya had to go through that. He should've treated you with much more respect than that. Six hours is a long time, of course you needed breaks! How rude of him :(
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And this is why I would never, ever take a booking like this.
Would make me feel exactly the same and worse! I'd find that shit soul destroying :/
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And this is why I would never, ever take a booking like this.
Would make me feel exactly the same and worse!
Well i posted for abit of advice off here, i tried to suggest things tie and tease as recommended by the ladies here, but he insisted he wanted to have sex nothing else in the same position. I spent about 10 mins giving him oral then the rest sex...
I'm not going to take anything over 2 hours now unless its one of my nice decent guys, cos to be fair its left me a bit shaken.
I have his number, I don't know whether to put up on here to let other girls know how forceful he is?
Thanks again xx
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And this is why I would never, ever take a booking like this.
Would make me feel exactly the same and worse!
Well i posted for abit of advice off here, i tried to suggest things tie and tease as recommended by the ladies here, but he insisted he wanted to have sex nothing else in the same position. I spent about 10 mins giving him oral then the rest sex...
I'm not going to take anything over 2 hours now unless its one of my nice decent guys, cos to be fair its left me a bit shaken.
I have his number, I don't know whether to put up on here to let other girls know how forceful he is?
Thanks again xx
I'm not having a go at all, I just don't know how you got through that. As I added, I personally would find a booking like that soul destroying.
I love longer bookings but anything more than 3hours needs to include drinks/dinner/social time etc...and I always say I don't do non-stop oral or fucking. I would have probably ended it after 2/3 hours xx
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Well it doesn't really matter what the rest of us think, it matters how you feel-- and clearly you feel like he was not respectful of your boundaries and did not treat you with respect.
I would try not to dwell on this and just learn from the experience-- if you had a bad feeling about him before, you know not to let yourself be swayed by dollar signs. And perhaps think back to the booking, is there something you can do next time to try and take the emphasis off sex? Maybe a drinking game, suggesting you two make something to eat, take a walk, whatever?
I have never done a six hour booking but to be honest I wouldn't do it, 2 hours is my limit if I not seen someone. I don't even know how you physically got through six hours of penetration.
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I would feel the same but tbh you have to deal with this kind of feeling if you chose to do this kind of job.. I had some similar experience I just told them that I want you to leave please, and give them some money back. Just cba if I dont feel comfortable I rather not want the money.
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Aww you poor thing, sending you big hugs xxxx
Longer bookings can be hit and miss, so this could've gone either way. I've had longer ones who wanted sexy time only (3-4 hours, not six though) where it's been very chilled and relaxed, and then I've had the ones who have wanted to bang bang bang the whole time, but they all accepted taking breaks in between, and even then they were hard work, though tolerable, so you must've felt much worse. There used to be an agency client who would do the rounds and book for 90mins, he sounds like your client - absolute non stop, and he drove everyone up the wall, and I needed to take a day off after him, and that was just 90mins, so really you deserve a holiday after this one!
On the up side future bookings, presuming you mainly do hour/90mins, will seem so short now, and every client will seem like an angel compared to him! As the other ladies have said you can move on by learning from this and discussing how you will spend time on longer bookings in future. This could've turned out to be a in respectful gent who wanted a slow and sensual time, so don't go kicking yourself over the fact you agreed to the job. In hindsight we could all say "I wouldn't have agreed to it", but when you think of the money and how many weeks rent etc it covers then that can sway your decision. I hope your next client treats you nicely and puts a spring back in your step xxxxx
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I wouldnt do a booking longer then 2 hours with someone I dont click with.
I had just once a 6 hours booking but with a gorgeous guy and we had breaks in between and chats and fun and I ve met him before that few times so I knew it will be ok.
I cant imagine how you endured it for so long, non stop banging for 6 hours. I wouldnt do it without breaks at all.
You must be sore everywhere :(
Im sorry for your experience xx
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As already stated I feel bad for the OP. However, I was one of the people who took time to give advice before the booking (after the original post worrying about the chance of a 6 hour booking of non-stop sex). This advice was not taken on board so although it is now being given out again, it seems pointless as the OP appears to want the attention, rather than the advice.
Sorry to sound blunt but as someone who would take time to help anyone, I don't have time for people like this :-\
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Well as the title of the post says really, he continuously had me having sex/giving him oral/me playing with myself.
Whilst some may not see it as the same if you employed a plumber for the day, 8 hrs for ?150 would you expect him to only work for 4 hours?
Of course this is different and nobody can say otherwise, but it is very important to establish what the client wants for his money, that goes for a 15 minute quickie or an overnight booking.
I never do longer than an hour booking with anybody.
Sarah x x x
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As already stated I feel bad for the OP. However, I was one of the people who took time to give advice before the booking (after the original post worrying about the chance of a 6 hour booking of non-stop sex). This advice was not taken on board so although it is now being given out again, it seems pointless as the OP appears to want the attention, rather than the advice.
Sorry to sound blunt but as someone who would take time to help anyone, I don't have time for people like this :-\
Whoa there. From what I read she took you advice on board but from what I gather she is new to this and learning to assert yourself is difficult for some people. This forum is about support as well as advice and bitchy comments about someone attention seeking is not helping. Talk about kick a girl whist she's down!
Op hopefully you will learn from this, sometimes we gotta learn the hard way unfortunately but hopefully you will be better equipped to deal with these situations in the future
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was he not aware you are a human being?
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There are men who will pay for several hours that include eating a meal and relaxing and chatting.
I personally won't take long bookings but if I take anything longer than a couple of hours I say make sure they understand that they're not getting straight genital friction. I've even said that in shorter bookings... just "OK, let's have a break, now." Said in a cheerful way it doesn't need to be off-putting. If they seemed to have a problem with that then I'll say "No, you haven't rented a set of orifices that you can just rub yourself on non-stop."
Being assertive is so important and it's definitely something that can take time to learn.
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As Happyhappyjoyjoy said, learning to be assertive is difficult and it must have been so scary as you did tell him you needed a break and he said no. Glad he is on your block list now :)
Try not to sit there replaying the experience in your mind over and over, you will only make yourself feel worse. Have a nice long relaxing bubble bath and chill out for a night or two till you feel better. :)
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As already stated I feel bad for the OP. However, I was one of the people who took time to give advice before the booking (after the original post worrying about the chance of a 6 hour booking of non-stop sex). This advice was not taken on board so although it is now being given out again, it seems pointless as the OP appears to want the attention, rather than the advice.
Sorry to sound blunt but as someone who would take time to help anyone, I don't have time for people like this :-\
I think Mimi is justified here and I don't think what she said was particularly bitchy. I read the the other thread a few days ago and while I, too, feel bad for you Martine, I don't think you were taken advantage of by the client. I think for longer bookings, you should have a clear understanding of what the client wants, especially since you know what he's like. You mentioned in your other post it seems like he wants six hours of sex. And if you weren't comfortable, you should have voiced it to him before taking the booking or not taken it at all. But you knew what you were getting into and went ahead. So I don't think you're justified in feeling upset.
Also, agreed with Sarah's analogy of the plumber. If you didn't want o be having continuous sex for 6 hours, you shouldn't have taken the booking.
Take it as a lesson learnt. I wish you a speedy recovery.
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Excuse me Mimi! I tried all of your advice suggesting a bath, massage, etc and I felt abit down yesterday after the booking as i thought no one could actually have sex for that long so I did just want my feelings out somewhere. My mistake I thought that this site was designed for support and advice?
I do not want 'attention' thank you, but thanks to those that has commented nicely. I've clearly expressed several times that I listened to your advice. What was I supposed to do drag him to bath? I was umming and arring about the booking thinking no one could possibly last that long and that even after a an hour or two, he'd want a break! All to often I find bitchy comments on this site which is unnecessary to girls asking advice.
I did ask the client how he wanted the spend the evening when i got there, he said we could go up for abit of fun then come back down, of course I was fine with that, but it never happened. I told the client I was sore and he was uninterested and at a certain point of the evening, I gave up asking as I so desperately wanted him to come so I could go, or least relax.
I feel alot better about it today, like most have said treat it as a learnt lesson; being very firm that anything past the two hour mark includes social time etc, and that I certainly would be needing breaks, but to be honest I think the two hour mark is enough for me.
Thanks again x
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Excuse me Mimi! I tried all of your advice suggesting a bath, massage, etc and I felt abit down yesterday after the booking as i thought no one could actually have sex for that long so I did just want my feelings out somewhere. My mistake I thought that this site was designed for support and advice?
I do not want 'attention' thank you, but thanks to those that has commented nicely. I've clearly expressed several times that I listened to your advice. What was I supposed to do drag him to bath? I was umming and arring about the booking thinking no one could possibly last that long and that even after a an hour or two, he'd want a break! All to often I find bitchy comments on this site which is unnecessary to girls asking advice.
I did ask the client how he wanted the spend the evening when i got there, he said we could go up for abit of fun then come back down, of course I was fine with that, but it never happened. I told the client I was sore and he was uninterested and at a certain point of the evening, I gave up asking as I so desperately wanted him to come so I could go, or least relax.
I feel alot better about it today, like most have said treat it as a learnt lesson; being very firm that anything past the two hour mark includes social time etc, and that I certainly would be needing breaks, but to be honest I think the two hour mark is enough for me.
Thanks again x
It is, and whilst Martine got in before me, we'll have no more of the judgemental finger-pointing, please. Nobody ever has to 'justify' being upset about an unpleasant experience or anything else here, and if that's really the most supportive and constructive advice others have, then we'd rather you just kept it to yourself.
Being naive and inexperienced is not the crime of the century, and whilst a bit more of an information exchange before the booking would have been a help, I personally don't think many of us would have seriously believed a punter would be banging away one way or another for six solid hours even if he'd said he would and certainly not that he would refuse to allow somebody who was obviously suffering a break. A more experienced lady (or me, anyway) would more than likely have given some money back and left at this point, but hindsight's a wonderful thing, and it's very easy to smugly sit in judgement when you weren't the one in the room.
Martine, I'm glad you're feeling better today and I think approaching it as a valuable lesson learned is the ideal way to look at it :).
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I just want to say sorry to Martine. The part about you looking for attention was out of order and not fair at all.
If I came across as bitchy then I'm really very sorry. I'm not going to try and make excuses - I just want to explain where I was at. I had a bad day yesterday and shouldn't have been online when I was in such a foul mood (lesson learned).
There was also an element of feeling really quite strongly about your situation, as it has brought back memories for me of something that happened to me. In that situation I was vulnerable and it felt like torture - and I sensed that you felt the same, which made me angry for you. As I said before, I really am sorry that happened to you :(
This is most definitely a support and advice forum and those familiar with me will know that I say that a lot!! I would hate for you to feel that you couldn't seek advice because of my actions last night. I'm still here for you if you want me to be x
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Feel the lurve ;D.
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Feel the lurve ;D.
Shurrup you ;D
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I just want to say sorry to Martine. The part about you looking for attention was out of order and not fair at all.
If I came across as bitchy then I'm really very sorry. I'm not going to try and make excuses - I just want to explain where I was at. I had a bad day yesterday and shouldn't have been online when I was in such a foul mood (lesson learned).
There was also an element of feeling really quite strongly about your situation, as it has brought back memories for me of something that happened to me. In that situation I was vulnerable and it felt like torture - and I sensed that you felt the same, which made me angry for you. As I said before, I really am sorry that happened to you :(
This is most definitely a support and advice forum and those familiar with me will know that I say that a lot!! I would hate for you to feel that you couldn't seek advice because of my actions last night. I'm still here for you if you want me to be x
Thank you Mimi, I really appreciate and respect that. We all have bad days.
x
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No problem and thank you back! Hope you're feeling re-energised now x
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Just thinking of you Martine, that must have been a cunt of a night.. (excuse my French)
You're a strong girl for picking yourself up so quick, but be prepared this experience might come back and bite you some more
in a few days time..
I've had bookings (they were nowhere near that long mind you), when I was thinking to myself; 'I'm having sex against my will here,
it's hurting me and I just want it to be over'.
I know rape is a totally different thing, as we agree to having sex and we get paid for it, but it can still be pretty damaging to your psyche..
All the best hun, and please think twice before taking a booking like that again..!
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Martine, don't let it put you off longer bookings as they are not all like that. Some are though so you have to steer them to do something else. next time if a client says no to a short break or doing something else other than just banging, say I am sorry but I need 5minutes, if he again says no say ok booking is now over and hand him back part of the fee If you have been there 4 hours keep three hours worth of money and give the rest back. It is better to lose a few quid than lose our feeling of safety or self worth.
Also make sure before hand and by that I mean long before you even turn up that you know what is expected and let them know what is appropriate and what is not. Tell them that you are not a machine and don't take any performance enhancing drugs at all so will need to do something other than just bang away for the whole time. If they don't like it they can always cancel
I have it in bold on my profile that I wont do that, so clients know if they book me not to expect to bang non stop for hours on end. I wont let anyone make me sore, make me have to have days off work and more importantly make me feel shit about myself.
You need to be assertive, if asking doesn't work then you have to tell them. If you find it hard to be assertive then most womens centres offer assertiveness classes where you can learn how to do it without being passive aggressive, or just passive even. It does sound like this sort of thing will be of benefit to you
Also remember if you don't like how a booking is going then you have every right to stop the booking and give some money back and walk out. If a client doesn't want to let you leave after you have told him the booking is over just call the police. They will happily come and get you out of the property although the moment you go to call them the client will probably let you leave as he would not want to be arrested for basically holding you against your will.
It is your body and you have to make it very clear what you will and will not accept. Some and by no means all as most are ok, guys will want as much bang for their buck as they can and unless you make it clear this is not available they will expect it. Nicely asking is no good with this type of guy, you have to be very firm and tell them how it is.
Take this as a learning curve, none of us decided to do this job and then made no mistakes as its something you have to learn as you go as there is no instruction manual on how to do this job.
The best way forward is to make everything clear on your profile and then again on booking and then again on arrival and probably during the booking too with some guys. Now go and pamper yourself as you have earned it
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Lovely ladies you all are taking the time out to further re-advise and help me and others, I don't know who created this site, well done (pardon me for potential ignorance! ;)) and what a god send it is. Thank you all.
I've booked in for a lovely manicure and pedicure tomorrow and going with a friend for lunch and shopping spending some of that hard earned cash!
Adultwork changed and a note left, back to work on Wednesday, onwards, upwards, and ontop of the next!
Stay safe girls and I hope you all have a good week.
x
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I agree, this guy sounds an arse. Next time make it clear if you take a long booking that you will be requiring a break or at least a shower alone during this time to give yourself a bit of a breather. I dont blame you for being annoyed. Unfortunatley though there are these guys out there, i dont think i even could fuck for 6 hours straight, he would have to be calling A&E after 4 I think lol.
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I am angry just reading this & i didn't meet the guy, poor you. Slipped through the screening process or not this guy sounds so vile. Rapey if nothing else i don't care how much you got paid
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This makes me angry that this man had no respect whatsoever. If I had a booking for 6 hours and the client wanted non stop sex I would let him know that there was no way I could manage that. I get sore very quickly so I have no idea how you managed it but I feel for you. In longer bookings clients usually want to take things at a slower pace with lots of breaks and other activities. To be honest I probably would have left long before the 6 hours if he treated me like this but that's because I have absolutely no patience with clients who think they can treat us like pieces of meat just because they are paying. Hope you feel better x