Wow you are having a rough time of it. I remember when I started out, I kid you not I worked myself into the ground and was a wreck, I started hating to be touched and it was becoming a problem. I took a break, and dreamed of falling in love and finding the right guy and having a addition to the family. Met a guy fell in love, and the relationship turned out to be a big mistake, but I learned a very important lesson. I liked having my independence and freedom, and I also liked my job. So I began to treat it like a business and I ran it, not the other way around.
One thing I find helps is keeping the two personae apart and very separate. Different hair, make up and of course clothes. That way, you can make a switch from one to the other. Plan out your work week and schedule time off for yourself. Open a savings account and make weekly deposits to it for a rainy day.
You are feeling pulled apart and that isn't a nice place to be, also something else to look at, this is going to sound silly, but are your eating right and taking supplements? Or even working out? This work can take it out of you, you are functioning on many different levels and that can be very draining on you physically, as well as emotionally. Try St John's Wort, this helps with keeping the mental aspect of things working, and Solgar woman supplements for those of us firing on all cylinders.
For me, I do love my job, I really do, once I figured out how to balance it and my life, it became less stressful and more rewarding. I am lucky in that my family knows and I can talk to my mother about these kinds of things, she is an amazingly opened minded woman. I also have a group of ladies that are work friends and have also become real friends over the years, we work together and make fun together, it is again a special situation.
It will all work out soon, just relax and remember you are the most important person in this situation right now, and see that your needs are being met first. Kisses and good luck Violette