SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: css3456 on 11 October 2010, 12:02:59 pm
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I'm curious how you guys handle (if you guys handle) submissive scenes. I have no trouble with anal or spanking or anything like that... but I'm really worried about anyone that wants to tie me up or gag me, etc. It just sounds like it could go horribly, horribly wrong. A guy just suggested this and I turned him down, but it made me wonder if he's going to easily find someone else to do it.
Do any of you do these kinds of scenes? How do you stay SAAFE (haha, a pun)? Or is this crazy....
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I'm naturally submissive and enjoy the roleplay of it but I would never do it with a new client. I currently have one regular I see once/twice a week where each time we push the limits a little further.
I was approached by someone in Manchester (I'm in blackpool) and I declined because he said he was new to it (how does he know how much force is too much and if he will be able to stay in control), he lived too far away incase anything bad did happen and also because we've never met before.
Limits always have to be agreed before you even meet, use safe words and introduce it slowly.
A client who wanted me to take light spanking and verbal abuse (which is fine) tried to handcuff me to his bed, we used a traffic light system (orange as a warning and red as stop) and that was orange! He hasn't tried since.
Hope that helps, just be weary of new clients x
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I don't do any BDSM stuff, there are plenty of escorts who specialise in this field and many of them have an experienced companion with them when they see a new or unexperience client. Especially when they are the submissive.
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The BDSM scene can be very complex, submissives can be very demanding if you are domming them, there
is a lot of technical/technique/ritual play to know. I started out as a domme and worked independently doing mostly outcalls. My method was to use lots of theatre to shock and awe them, the better I looked, the more outrageous I could be the more they loved it, I picked up the vocabulary as I went along, and built up outfits,equipment and toys that I'd wheel in a roller suitcase. As far I was concerned it was about giving them exactly what they wanted and blowing thier minds, and as a mistress I controlled every element of the sessions. I drew the line at blood play and scat, and instead wrote my own script of delicious tortures that would have them on their knees in adoration....God I miss it..!!! I finished it because the Mistress scene is so flooded, but still keep my dominatrix website.
My advice is to visit lots of bdsm sites, talk to some mistresses, and start simply doing tie and tease and build up your repertoire, its immense fun!
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Hi
I'm a pro-sub, it's all I do!
I do it 1-2-1 with the client and I do have a friend who remains on the property, but very discreetly - the client does not see/meet/hear them.
I have a specific process in place for taking bookings from guys who want to do this and there is alot of email and phone conversation that goes into planning and ensuring boundaries/limits are kept to. I cater for the newbie as well as the experienced.
I have found everyone to be very respectful (as they are in the Dom/sub scene generally) and maybe because I'm in my 40s (could be wrong!) but I don't seem to attract the unwanted type - mainly middle aged upwards guys.
It's a niche market, but I seem to have cracked it - with new appointments now waiting 2-3 weeks to see me (I only session once a day). The downside is obviously those who want short notice and I therefore run a Cancellation List, but that's rarely the case. It's brilliant fun, I build a great rapport/connection with the client and its created a very good repeat client base.
Feel free to ask any q's on it - I've been a sub for over 25 years so know my stuff!
Honey
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I'd never do it with a first time client, but thats my personal preference as I'd like to know what sort of self control they have before engaging in such an act.