SAAFE forum

General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Dymphnalala on 12 June 2016, 11:38:30 pm

Title: Still scared of being outed after retiring [was: the fear]
Post by: Dymphnalala on 12 June 2016, 11:38:30 pm

Hi everyone I haven't posted on herd for a good few years, I watched a programme on c4 about high class escorts and the idea to post here has been stuck in my head.
Just wanted to talk a little to people who understand about the fear of being outed. I haven't worked in over 4 years, and I don't even live in the same country where I worked...but the fear is pretty constant. Not always there, but if I get a call from an unknown number I instantly panic. I thought I saw an old client in Tesco and it took about 2 hours for my heart rate to slow down.
I don't have any issues with my experiences - I can barely remember any of them. Just like a constant subconscious fear or paranoia. Any advice most welcome x

Title: Re: Still scared of being outed after retiring [was: the fear]
Post by: Fabulassie on 13 June 2016, 06:54:47 am

I think you have some kind of anxiety disorder and it's manifesting itself/expressing itself in this way. I don't know a lot about anxiety but I am guessing that you would benefit from approaching it from that angle.

Try looking into Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It's good for a wide range of depression and anxiety issues as it's all about learning to cope with disruptive thoughts. It's also pretty DIY... You don't have to lie on a couch and talk about your past. It can be learned from books, even. Or a couple of sessions with a cbt therapist where they coach you on how to implement it, and then reading the books.

Title: Re: Still scared of being outed after retiring [was: the fear]
Post by: The_Lynx on 13 June 2016, 07:20:32 am

Quote from: Fabulassie on 13 June 2016, 06:54:47 am

I think you have some kind of anxiety disorder and it's manifesting itself/expressing itself in this way. I don't know a lot about anxiety but I am guessing that you would benefit from approaching it from that angle.

As someone who suffers from mild GAD, I'm inclined to agree - I tend to fixate and obsess over a single perceived problem (or over multiple issues on a rotation), even if I logically know it's extremely unlikely to happen. This sounds quite similar.

Title: Re: Still scared of being outed after retiring [was: the fear]
Post by: sourgrapes on 13 June 2016, 07:54:44 am

Totally agree with the above. There's lots of info on CBT on youtube, including a good video from the NHS website.

Title: Re: Still scared of being outed after retiring [was: the fear]
Post by: Dymphnalala on 13 June 2016, 10:02:14 am

Thanks guys CBT is probably the way to go. I just needed to articulate the fear to people who unserstand x