SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Pocahontas on 01 July 2014, 05:57:23 pm
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I really want to start escorting, but I am really worried about the risk of stds. I just wanted to know how did you ladies get over these types of worries/fears if you indeed had any. I suppose I just want to get over it and start. Please help!!
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As long as you wear a condom during sex (and it doesn't split) and wear one during oral sex, you shouldn't get any problems. I've been escorting 5 years & thankfully have never caught anything, although I do offer owo.
Xxx
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Also, I always have a subtle but thorough skin check - condoms don't protect against warts, herpes and the like as it only takes skin to skin contact, not semen-in-vagina to transfer the disease. I actually have it written on my profile in my FAQs not to book me if the client has a skin condition that's uncommon or could be easily confused with something bad, because I will turn that client away. I do OWO too though, I do wish condoms in my mouth was something I could get used to, it makes me gag at first lick, since doing OW would obviously be less risky.
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Thank you very much for giving me some reassurance ladies. I think putting the stuff about skin conditions that can be mistaken for an Std on the profile is a good idea and something I'd like to do.
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Whatever you do will have risks, and everyone has their own position on the risk scale. Some people are happy to do OWO and some are not, for example, and some people are a lot less concerned about the bacterial STIs while others would see catching anything as a disaster.
So the real question is what risks are you happy with?
Once you know that, you can work out what you want to offer and how often you want to have a check-up to see if you have been unlucky.
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Thank you XW5. Does anybody have any tips to prevent condoms from splitting, apart from plenty of lube and putting it on without air getting in. It would be much appreciated xxxx
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Check every so often that there isn't a problem - as well as accidents, there are clients who will try it on, especially in 'from behind' positions like doggy.
Obviously use water or silicone-based lube rather than anything oil-based. Reapply if necessary, and if the sex has been going on for more than 20 minutes, consider using switching to a new condom.
'Strong' condoms usually aren't any more reliable.
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Thank you very much for giving me some reassurance ladies. I think putting the stuff about skin conditions that can be mistaken for an Std on the profile is a good idea and something I'd like to do.
A lot of people might think it's a bit nutso to have that on my profile but a few times I've had to go "Oh, I'm sorry sweetheart. I don't know for sure what that is, and you may tell me it's just such and such, but I think it's best to cancel now. Here's a refund for the time remaining, byyeeeee" and it's so awkward!
Whatever you do will have risks, and everyone has their own position on the risk scale. Some people are happy to do OWO and some are not, for example, and some people are a lot less concerned about the bacterial STIs while others would see catching anything as a disaster.
So the real question is what risks are you happy with?
Once you know that, you can work out what you want to offer and how often you want to have a check-up to see if you have been unlucky.
You're so right, I definitely stress more about viral than bacterial
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So am I right in thinking its best to be on edge somewhat, if clients could be doing something I can't see from behind like sabotaging a condom. I mean you can never feel totally relaxed. How don't you let it show?
When you say check every so often that there's no problem, do you mean tell them to take his dingaling out so I can see the condoms ok? Sorry I just don't know the etiquette and I don't want to come across as a hysterical nutter. But I know all you guys must take looking after yourselves very seriously, so there must be a way people do things to keep themselves safe during the session.
I'm really appreciating getting advice from the experienced. Thank you again xxx
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Practice, I suspect.
Depending on how your acting skills are :) 'Gasp, yes, pant, yes, aaaAAAaaah... I need to switch positions after I come...' Followed by 'Oh, that condom looks like it needs changing' if you've been going for long enough.
Or have a feel with your fingers, which will show that the condom is at least on the base of his penis. If you have seen it or felt it properly over the head of his penis immediately before it went in, that may be enough for you.
Some people don't do doggy with clients, for example. Others encourage clients to come outside them, for example on their breasts.
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This is exactly the type of specific advice and suggestions I needed.
If we were in real life I'd buy you a drink!
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Yeah, if u do decide on doggy position, I usually put his dick in myself, so I know the condom is still on. Ive had someone take it off it doggy & hadn't realised til I thought "hmmm, that feel different".
Yeah like XW5 said, change condoms if the sex is lasting a fair while. Also, too much lube can cause a condom to come off inside of you & a lot of pre-cum can cause a condom to slip off inside of u. You do get used to knowing how much lube is enough & how much isn't.
I also dont trust 'Mates' condoms - Ive had loads of them split & I now stick with Pasante. Again like XW5 said, split condoms /falling off condoms scare me so I started asking ppl to cum over my tits instead & I say "I love it when a man cums on my tits" which I do & it makes me far less worried.
I usually keep checking condoms are still on by tickling their balls during sex, then with a finger I discreetly check I can feel the thick/rolled end of the condom.
Abbi xxx
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Thanks Abbi. Once again great advice and I didn't realise that about the lube and pre cum. I hope I can be relaxed and I think encouraging them to cum on my boobs is a way that would make me relax more. It's so bad that people try it on and take off condoms whilst in doggy position. Eyes in the back of your head would come in handy!
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I also dont trust 'Mates' condoms - Ive had loads of them split & I now stick with Pasante.
I think condom brands are really personal preference. I've used Mates for years; I use Skyns now because I'm latex sensitive, but before that I used Mates Natural/XL and so on and never had one split. I have had Durex split on me twice and would never buy them now as a result (although I did try the Real Feel non-latex ones when they were on offer but they tasted vile) but other ladies prefer them and don't have problems.
If a condom is the right size and applied properly it's very unlikely to split but as posted above, sabotage can and does happen and it's important to be vigilant :).
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Ok sorry for the ignorance but why do they sabotage condoms. Because they want to give you a disease or something? Do you kick them straight out when you catch someone doing this?
Also when you've had a condom split in the last, do you go and wash and then obviously change the condom. What's the best thing to do? Should you worry?
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Ok sorry for the ignorance but why do they sabotage condoms. Because they want to give you a disease or something? Do you kick them straight out when you catch someone doing this?
Also when you've had a condom split in the last, do you go and wash and then obviously change the condom. What's the best thing to do? Should you worry?
They sabotage condoms for a million different reasons, one of which is so that they get bareback sex and pretend it was an "accident".
When this happens, you quickly try and clean yourself out, especially if they have cum inside you. This is one of the many reasons you don't rely on condoms as your ONLY method of contraception and use another for REAL safety.
You have to wait two weeks and then you take yourself off to the GUM clinic and get yourself checked. You don't need to tell them it was a client, you could say it was a boyfriend. You have to wait the two weeks as any STIs might not show up before then and you may get a false result and go on working with something you may have caught when you thought you were clear.
In the two weeks you've got to wait, you just have to keep your fingers crossed that all is ok for there is absolutely nothing you can do. This is usually the most worrying time of everyone.
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I wouldn't worry too much about this sort of thing. Alot of the bb pushers can be prevented by having a confident manner and professional online presence. The dodgy types love to find vulnerables types - especially newbies, so don't take their shit lying down (ahem)
I am another clean prozzie though, never had anything in 6 yrs and have always done owo.
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I had a classic guy the other day...asked for owo which I do then had the cheek to ask if kissing was safe?!? I pointed out he wanted me to suck his bare cock but he was worried about snogging...I then asked him how often he got checked and if he asked girls he met outside of bookings the same thing. He had the good grace to go red and apologise.
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Ok sorry for the ignorance but why do they sabotage condoms. Because they want to give you a disease or something? Do you kick them straight out when you catch someone doing this?
Also when you've had a condom split in the last, do you go and wash and then obviously change the condom. What's the best thing to do? Should you worry?
They sabotage condoms for a million different reasons, one of which is so that they get bareback sex and pretend it was an "accident".
When this happens, you quickly try and clean yourself out, especially if they have cum inside you. This is one of the many reasons you don't rely on condoms as your ONLY method of contraception and use another for REAL safety.
You have to wait two weeks and then you take yourself off to the GUM clinic and get yourself checked. You don't need to tell them it was a client, you could say it was a boyfriend. You have to wait the two weeks as any STIs might not show up before then and you may get a false result and go on working with something you may have caught when you thought you were clear.
In the two weeks you've got to wait, you just have to keep your fingers crossed that all is ok for there is absolutely nothing you can do. This is usually the most worrying time of everyone.
Not quite. One of the things that is better thought of before it happens (which we hope it never will) is what to do in relation to HIV if someone's semen ends up inside you, because there's the option of PEP ('post-exposure prophylaxis'), a month-long course of anti-HIV drugs. If he's HIV+, PEP will reduces the chance that you will be infected.
The downside is that you may well have some unpleasant side-effects for that time: some people who've used PEP have ended up taking a month or more off work.
So there's a sum to consider: the chance that he is HIV+ times the chance that you would get HIV if he was. Outside groups like people from sub-Saharan Africa and gay and bisexual men, the chance that he is HIV+ is very low. (Even within those groups, you're looking at 'about' 5% to 15% - the local sexual health clinic will know more about the local situation.)
For oral sex, the chance that you'd be infected is certainly tiny, and may be as near nil as you can get. For vaginal sex, it can be 'about' one in two thousand. For anal sex, it's 'about' one in thirty.
Again, only you can know whether or not those risks are too high. If it happens, and you want to take PEP, get down to hospital asap. As with the 'morning after pill', hours count and after three days, it's too late. A sexual health clinic that has a service for sex workers would be best, but if they don't have one (or it's shut), then it's A&E time. If you're determined to get it for vaginal sex, and they are umming and ahhing about the risk of the client being HIV+, lie. Saying he's bisexual should do it...
Searching for 'PEP' here should get you more info and stories.
For testing, modern HIV blood tests produce reliable results after a month. For bacterial infections, it's about a week or on the appearance of symptoms.
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Such thorough advice Ian thanks again. Getting information from all your experience has definitely reduced my fears and anxieties and I think this board is so supportive and comforting.