Morning Simone.


Are you OK? It sounds like something very similar to what I went through with my ex, only he read my reports on Punternet. Not a happy day. Calm down, firstly. You haven't completely cocked up your life- this is a moment in your life. As I have said before, needs must when the devil drives. You cannot set the client up, I think you know that but I will reiterate it. Sit down today, work out to the penny how much you can live on, and lets look at the alternatives seriously- its possible that you could survive on cam work. Also, phone sex, receptioning in a brothel or possibly only massage with a happy ending are all options open to you- you aren't trapped.

Your fella seems like a nice guy, and you seem very stressed out with the job, if you don't mind me saying. I think the best advice I could offer is stop working for the agency and look at the other alternatives- hopefully you will both find them more acceptable.

Also, I would point out to him when he is less pissed, that you come here to talk anonymously with your peers, and the outlet is necessary for you. If he needs some support, has he got anyone he can talk to? I would imagine that for a guy this is a incredibly difficult and emasculating thing to deal with, particularly if there are money issues.

Hugs and chocolate

L x

Hi Lucy.

Don't worry, i know setting this guy up is int an option, i wouldn't do such a thing and i think my boyfriend will agree with me when he calms down (i hope).

My boyfriend is a nice guy (although my last post might not make him sound like one) Yes he finds what i do dreadfully emasculating and no he has nobody to talk too as nobody knows what i do apart from him and he would rather cut his own throat than let anyone else find out (as would i come to that) So of course that makes him feel even more isolated.
No i probably haven't cocked up my whole life but god knows sometimes i feel like i have. I also feel guilty that i have involved my boyfriend in such an awful situation. Hes only 25 and sometimes i think he should be out there enjoying his life and not tied down with me in a miserable situation. I'm terrified that one day he will decide its all too much and leave me.

I'm looking into different options for earning money, just got a webcam delivered through the post yesterday and going to have a look at setting it up tonight. With regards to parlours, massage etc I'm not sure what the potential would be for that up here. There are no parlors in Newcastle area (mores the pity) and massage I'm not sure about as guys can easily get an escort and full sex with all the trimmings up here for ?50.

No i don't mind you saying the job stresses me out at all, in fact i think stress could be an understatement! I spend every waking hour worrying about money, how many clients i need to see to afford xy and z and it really drags you down. Especially when you've got nothing left over to treat yourself with once the bills and outgoings are paid. My boyfriend works hard but his job isn't very well paid so money is a constant issue!

I suppose i get angry at myself more than anything. Ive never been really ambitious or independent minded, all Ive ever really wanted is a roof over my head and a family to love. Yet those things seem to be so utterly out of my reach at the moment that i struggle with finding a way to make it a reality. Yet at the same time i have to take responsibility for the fact that my own actions led me down this path and take the consequences.
I don't know, I'm probably rambling a bit, head is int at its clearest today.

Hi Lucy.

Don't worry, i know setting this guy up is int an option, i wouldn't do such a thing and i think my boyfriend will agree with me when he calms down (i hope).

My boyfriend is a nice guy (although my last post might not make him sound like one) Yes he finds what i do dreadfully emasculating and no he has nobody to talk too as nobody knows what i do apart from him and he would rather cut his own throat than let anyone else find out (as would i come to that) So of course that makes him feel even more isolated.
No i probably haven't cocked up my whole life but god knows sometimes i feel like i have. I also feel guilty that i have involved my boyfriend in such an awful situation. Hes only 25 and sometimes i think he should be out there enjoying his life and not tied down with me in a miserable situation. I'm terrified that one day he will decide its all too much and leave me.

I'm looking into different options for earning money, just got a webcam delivered through the post yesterday and going to have a look at setting it up tonight. With regards to parlours, massage etc I'm not sure what the potential would be for that up here. There are no parlors in Newcastle area (mores the pity) and massage I'm not sure about as guys can easily get an escort and full sex with all the trimmings up here for ?50.

No i don't mind you saying the job stresses me out at all, in fact i think stress could be an understatement! I spend every waking hour worrying about money, how many clients i need to see to afford xy and z and it really drags you down. Especially when you've got nothing left over to treat yourself with once the bills and outgoings are paid. My boyfriend works hard but his job isn't very well paid so money is a constant issue!

I suppose i get angry at myself more than anything. Ive never been really ambitious or independent minded, all Ive ever really wanted is a roof over my head and a family to love. Yet those things seem to be so utterly out of my reach at the moment that i struggle with finding a way to make it a reality. Yet at the same time i have to take responsibility for the fact that my own actions led me down this path and take the consequences.
I don't know, I'm probably rambling a bit, head is int at its clearest today.

    For what it's worth Simone even though I had been with my partner for a couple of years before I started escorting and we were the same age as you are now, well 32, my partner found it extremely difficult to deal with for the first year (I didn't find out until many years later when he happened to chat to the partner of another escort who'd started working).  As someone originally from the N.E England I can imagine if your partner is a local then the emasculation part of you escorting will play heavy on him.
  I don't really know what's the best advice to give you as there seem to be so many things going on that you are having to deal with in your life. I know so little of your background. Have you had any time out from escorting since you started ? Are you happy with the types of clients you see and are you optimizing your potential ?  How long do you want to escort for ? Goals, ambitions, could you get a part-time job and work that alongside the escorting ? There are so many avenues and so many thin gs you could take a look at which may allow you to have a better 'ride' in life. 

 Hope things work themselves out.

My boyfriend is so upset, says hes never felt worse about himself, that our relationship is pretty much ruined etc etc and its just an awful time allround really. I'm not sure if we will be able to recover from it all to be truthful, maybye there is no way back. Then i don't know what i will do, i cant really envisage a life worth living if the worse comes to the worse and he leaves me.

Simone,

That is not the attitude that will get you through this. If you want a quick route to being insane, think that way. If not, come ON. You are not on the dole. You are attractive and independent enough to be able to charge men to have sex with you. You are living together with I presume a joint mortgage. You are actually a bit of a catch! A moment in time...please stop being so down on yourself.