You know you have done wrong and now have the hassle of him on your back and the threats of small claims court which he could say he lent you the money. I do not know what he knows about you and how secret your life is but i wonder whether that could be a problem too.

Unfortunately this happens all too often in society people take and spend money that was a deposit or for work that should be done and they do not do it but still spend the money. I know you say you will pay him back with installments but is that even realistic that you will do that and carry it on, i am not sure but i would certainly try to clear the debt if i was you.

Handed over 3k to a sugar baby or Sex worker upfront was asking for trouble in the first place the amount of horror stories i have heard from men being ripped off by sex workers over the years is shocking from the stories cannot pay my rent, cannot pay my bills, cannot feed my children, need a new car to get around. Most clients would not be that generous as we know but there is the odd few out there that become love sick.

I hope you can come to some kind of agreement with him and stick to it.

I also think this situation could be feeling pretty awful for the OP who may be genuinely frightened, I don't envy her position one bit doesn't take away whether it's right or wrong...........but also a warning about keeping things very clear, and very professional. My advice as someone who regularly takes deposits it that if you operate this way, it must be with commitment, professionalism and clarity. Yes illness cannot be predicted, and mental health/emotional/psychological problems are just as bad as physical if not worse which makes protecting yourself even more important.

Honestly pretty shocked at the responses berating the OP for spending this money.  How many of us are in a financial situation in which we can just tuck three grand away and leave it there, in the name of Good Business?  It's WILD to me.  So many of us, in fact, most of us I would say, start doing sex work because we are in a place of financial precarity and for MANY of us that financial precarity DOESNT GO AWAY.  The OP is clearly a person who struggles with mental health which can affect her ability to work, and I would hazard a guess that she probably isn't in a a position to follow all of these rules.  Of course in a perfect world we could all do this, and I'm glad that so many of you seem to live in that perfect world, but it's not like that for everyone.  To everyone who wants to berate her for spending the £3k, if you were in a situation where it was 'spend a prepaypent or be hungry/fail to make rent and become homeless' what would you choose? Jesus christ.   And honestly, 'what if he wants to book someone else with that money'? Really? His potential penis emergency is suddenly more important than one of our own, who is clearly having a tough time right now?  She said shes going to pay him back.  There is NO need for this.  A bit of solidarity wouldn't go amiss.

OP, I'm sorry you're dealing with this.  The clients are generally in a position of power in this industry, what with having the financial upper hand, and us relying on them booking in order to pay the bills.  I understand his annoyance about this but you're not trying to run away with the money you are offering to pay him back in instalments. A court won't touch this AFAIK and if they did all they'd do is take instalments from you also - nobody can take money from you that you don't have.  Sex contracts aren't enforcable in court and if he lied and said it was a loan, depending on your circumstances you could tell them the truth that it was a sex contract. He would need to show proof anyway and if all he has are texts to a potential sugar baby they'll tell him to fuck off.

I would suggest writing him an email making him an offer, clearly laid out of how much you'll pay him and when, and when the debt will be cleared.  Tell him that you have absolutely no intention of running away with his money and that you are deeply sorry for how this has turned out, but that you can't give him money you don't have.  Echoing the other suggestion of perhaps seeing if you can get a loan or a credit card to pay him off and then you'll just have to deal with the company instead of him.

Good luck and take good care of yourself. xxx

If someone did this to us I'm guessing most would be annoyed, he might want that money to go see someone else, also having to chase or rely on installments provides extra hassle which isn't fair on him as a customer.

Exactly,

One more thing & then I'll (hopefully) pipe down.

I have 1 more saying (who am I? Confucius?):

Possession's 9/10ths of the law. She's got it, he doesn't, gonna be awful hard to wrest it back from her.

The division on this has been interesting, to say the least.

Do the installments GF. He needs to count his blessings you're doing that.

Oh dear, this is a biggie.. First of all when people go to court no matter small claims or big courts you are made to swear to speak the truth nothing but the truth,  everything how the cash was given to you and on what grounds. This man would never do that as who in their right mind will want to tell the whole world that he has been paying for sex.
Secondly why not give him 3 overnight service space it out am sure he will agree to it or atleast you have offered and this will keep him off your back. Alternatively just pay him in instalments but please do not go into another debt by taking a loan out as the interest and paying it back will be just too long and even more stressful. Goodluck as that’s what you need at the moment not slugging off. Pleeeeez ladies give the poor girl a break.

Hi Amy - as I have been declined for credit, I have contacted 'off the streets' for advice on how to move forward. Thankyou for prompting me to find support, I didnt know there were organisations to help with this problem. And thankyou to everyone for your supportive comments, kind words help a lot. Its been very interesting reading how much this topic seems to divide opinion (everyones is valid - I deserve a dressing down for not being more responsible with money before my stint in the mental health hospital).

Horses for courses - I would never have accepted 3K unless I knew I had earned it.

This is a sugar daddy situation where boundaries are usually pretty muddled, it's not "punter Joe comes for an hour hour pays 200 and leaves". I had a friend in exactly the same situation as the OP (these sugar daddy stories usually don't end well)., the guy was angry chasing her for money she didn;t had so she went into hiding for a while. Eventually he moved on to another girl and forgot about my friend. My point is that he's resented because he's been dumped, not because of the money (his ego is wounded), even if she paid him back he would still be angry and make her life miserable. If I were her I would keep all threats, take pictures of him in his car outside her home, go to the police and ask for advice. just tell them that you were dating this guy, he was helping you of financially and now that you've broken up with him he's stalking you. See what they say and what they reccomend you to do. Just be honest, you're not doing anything illegal (he is!), and the police have heard it all.

Well I don’t think you are a bad person. You’ve proved that by coming on here to talk about it rather than run off with his money.

I would work out exactly what you can afford rather than make promises you can’t keep and maybe get in touch with Citizens advice as well. X