Author Topic: Since being an escort...Help needed!! (Read 7624 times)

Change1 · « **on:** 21 February 2009, 04:12:19 pm »

I was 18 years and 5 days old when I had my first client. I ended being an escort after approximately 6 months of working, due to my employer being well not very nice. Anyway, I am writing this as since then...I have been diagnosed with severe depression, severe anxiety and post traumatic stress and this is due to having worked as an escort

. And I'm basically just wondering, how have other women dealt with having been an escort? Are there any suggestions you can give me so I can become happy and like my old self again? Any feedback would be much appreciated.

Yours Faithfully & Hopefully
From a very sad young lady

xx

Hermione · « **Reply #1 on:** 21 February 2009, 06:02:47 pm »

Sorry to hear about your situation. Where are you located? If you are in Scotland, Scot-PEP may be able to help. I've also heard good things about the Praed Street project in London, but don't know much about them. Your GP or GUM clinic may also be able to refer you to someone who deals with these sorts of problems.

Carla · « **Reply #2 on:** 21 February 2009, 07:45:30 pm »

Blimey, this sounds awful. I don't know what to suggest really- I think we all know that this job more than most others can really take its toll if you aren't up to it emotionally though

I have found that GUM clinics are generally good at assigning you someone to talk things through if needs be- I once had a couple of hour long sessions with a councillor at one of the Westminster hospital clinics after a particularly upsetting experience with a client. You have to be honest with them though, and so it isn't ideal if you hide your identity as you are compromising your anonymity- but they do promise to be completely confidential with all information about you, so this might be worth a thought.

Look after yourself, I am glad you are not escorting anymore if this wasn't for you. xxx

Change1 · « **Reply #3 on:** 21 February 2009, 08:37:15 pm »

Thank you for the comments so far. I did go into the industry completely blindfolded in all honesty, I was very very naive, I'd only just turned 18, was still at school, and I was very gullible in the sense that I thought it well wasn't what it turned out to be if you know what I mean.
I have been for counselling, have constant appointments with my doctor, am on anti-depressants, have tried CBT, and I am seeing a psychologist now. It's been a while now since I did it, it wasn't for me, well not at that young age anyway it wasn't. I just don't know what else to do as I am not getting any better, find it hard to get on with my life, sometimes I don't even get on with it at all.

Fallingstar · « **Reply #4 on:** 21 February 2009, 08:52:34 pm »

Hello and welcome.
I'm very sorry to hear about the problems you are having and the pain that you are feeling.

It sounds as if you have had a very traumatic time. It is good that you recognise you need help and support and are taking steps to try and heal yourself. You say nothing is working for you,how long have you been taking anti depressants,having counselling etc? as speaking from the experience of being down both roads it can take quite a while before you feel the effects of these things and sometimes you just need to hang on in there. Counselling in particular can be a very long and drawn out process and sometimes you will feel worse before you feel better.

Try to keep in mind though that you have done nothing wrong by trying escorting (even if you didn't realise precisely what it entailed at the time) You have had the strength and presence of mind to realise that it wasnet for you and taken the steps you needed to remove yourself from the situation and that takes real courage and guts in my opinion.
Don't let this ruin your life,you are young and you will get over this in time. You have nothing to be ashamed of sweetie and i hope that the help and comments of all the other wonderful people on this forum will help reinforce that for you.

Take care and look after yourself
xx

brandy@saafe · « **Reply #5 on:** 22 February 2009, 09:41:05 am »

Hi and welcome,
I've never been depressed and I've never had a problem with this job, so I can't offer you any personal advice.
I can't add much more except to say I'm sorry to hear what you're going through because of this job. You've got some good advice here, I hope it helped.

Welsh Lass · « **Reply #6 on:** 22 February 2009, 11:26:26 am »

Hello, you have come to the right place as everybody on here is lovely and will try to help you as far as the realms of a forum can help you.
I would echo Collette's post. She talks a lot of sense in it.
Let enough time go by, let the medication and the counselling have the time they both need to work.
Sometimes things, situations, get a lot worse before they get a lot better. But they do get better so hang on in and keep trying.

Depression is a horrible thing, until it lifts a bit, nobody can say a thing to you that is going to help you. There is nothing worse than that feeling of isolation and dejection and feeling your so within yourself you can't see or find a way out. Days go by and it feels like your not getting on with anything at all. Your not alone in feeling that way and you never will be. If that is of any consolation to you at all. So many people are suffering, for whatever reason, the exact same things you are feeling today.

I can promise you there is a way out, eventually, you will get a moment of feeling a little better, even if it's a fleeting moment, you cling on to that and wait for the next one. They do arrive and they do pass from moments to hours to days... Just keep on looking after yourself and go easy on yourself for God's sake! You were very young to start this work, I could not have done it before now as I would not have had the emotional capability in me.
I admire you for seeking help and not folding under the blackness of it all.
Good luck.

Trafford · « **Reply #7 on:** 22 February 2009, 11:35:24 am »

Hi change1

Sometimes it takes a while to find the sort of therapy that is right for you. Counsellors offer different approaches and I wonder if anyone has explained properly to you the variety of methods they can use. A psychologist is not right for everyone and a person centred counsellor may be of more help. I know someone that is currently in group therapy, but she doesn't think that is right for her and so she is looking into other methods. Dont feel that just coz CBT and your current psychologist doesn't seems right for you that nothing will be. There are lots of options and once you find the one right for you, it should be an enormous help.

On a positive note, you have identified early that this was not right for you and you are already taking steps to deal with that. I have met two or three ladies who started in their teens and 10 or so years on, they are still in the business and they do have real issues which they try to cover up with smiles and fantasy stories of a life they wish they had lived.

You are plenty young enough to do something new, whether that be going to college and learning a new skill or starting a new career. I know its not easy to pick yourself up when you get down days but you must explore that with your psychologist. It will get better and maybe you could start with looking around the net for a new career and reading up on how to get into it. This is the right time of year to be registering with colleges for courses starting in Septmber so maybe you can find something you like the look of and work your way to being motivated enough to enroll in September after a few more months of help. Having a goal is always good for the soul.

Whatever you do, do what is good for you, its time to be selfish and look after number one.

xx

Violette · « **Reply #8 on:** 24 February 2009, 08:09:54 am »

So sorry to hear about the horrific experience you had. Again just adding to the pile of best wishes from all the ladies here. Please take care of yourself. Kisses Violette

BurlesqueHoney · « **Reply #9 on:** 24 February 2009, 05:24:21 pm »

Just spotted this and feel very touched by your plea for help. Sorry if this sounds a daft question but did escorting bring about your depression and/or was it the main trigger point? Just highlights so that while many of us find this an ideal profession it just is not for everyone and especially if you are very young can seriously affect your state of mind. I seriously do worry when girls start at 18 as this seems a time when we still grow so much mentally and I am worried how much it skewers a view on life, men and ourselves. So well wishes from me too and I hope that you find someone that you can open up to and who can counsel you appropriately!

Change1 · « **Reply #10 on:** 26 March 2009, 07:30:58 pm »

Firstly, I'd just like to say thank you for all of the kind words and support. It means a lot, it really does. Secondly, sorry about the very late reply but I have had a lot on at the moment and due to how I am, I have had to withdraw from uni for the time being.

The despression and anxiety and the PTS were a result of being an escort. I have been on the medication for over a year now and have tried various ways to try and get better as I have previously stated, I am currently still on going with my psychologist, although I am not sure if this is the best route for me as she doesn't seem to be helping that much

. I am determined however, to keep on trying as I will not let what occurred a couple of years ago now, ruin more years of my life. For the past week now, I have been up, out of bed, to the gym, meeting friends, and have even ventured back for a few days, to where I am originally from, the city in which I have avoided as much as possible during the past year as I was an escort there. Even though it is still very hard to get up in the mornings and so on, I am determined, like I said, to not let this take any more of my life away from me. And so from now until Sept, I plan on doing everything and anything I can in order to get over this and to get better, so that I can start my degree and my life again. Any ideas on support groups? People who you know deal with this kind of situation? Etc would be much appreciated. I am now situated in the Midlands. And honestly, reading these posts, do mean a lot. Thank you very much and to all of you who are still doing it, take care of yourselves

xxxx

orientallady · « **Reply #11 on:** 26 March 2009, 07:49:40 pm »

I wish you all the best and hope you manage to get the support you want.

Trafford · « **Reply #12 on:** 28 March 2009, 08:04:11 am »

Thanks for coming back and updating us. It is really good to hear that you are getting up and about again, even better that you are going to the gym as that can really only be very good for you, not just physically but mentally too.

I dont know of any support groups but maybe your GP or therapist will?

Remember lots of people go through this sort of down stage in their life, for many different reasons, so you are not alone. It sounds like you are making progress and you should be very proud of you!

brandy@saafe · « **Reply #13 on:** 28 March 2009, 10:15:29 am »

Good for you for not letting your illness overwhelm you. From what I understand it can be easy to let it.
As Trafford says, ask your GP for a referral. Or maybe what about an online support group? It might help if you want to stay anon.

shiftytardarse · « **Reply #14 on:** 28 March 2009, 09:46:57 pm »

See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: Since being an escort...Help needed!! (Read 7624 times)

Change1

Since being an escort...Help needed!!

Hermione

Re: Since being an escort...Help needed!!

Carla

Re: Since being an escort...Help needed!!

Change1

Re: Since being an escort...Help needed!!

Fallingstar

Re: Since being an escort...Help needed!!

brandy@saafe

Re: Since being an escort...Help needed!!

Welsh Lass

Re: Since being an escort...Help needed!!

Trafford

Re: Since being an escort...Help needed!!

Violette

Re: Since being an escort...Help needed!!

BurlesqueHoney

Re: Since being an escort...Help needed!!

Change1

Re: Since being an escort...Help needed!!

orientallady

Re: Since being an escort...Help needed!!

Trafford

Re: Since being an escort...Help needed!!

brandy@saafe

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shiftytardarse

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