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Author Topic: Services at discretion  (Read 7343 times)

Lauren Kay

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Services at discretion
« on: 05 December 2011, 09:48:14 pm »
This question came to my mind while reading the kissing topic. I have French kissing and RO advertised as done at my discretion, however I've never declined them to anyone, althought I would have wanted to in a few cases. Do you girls who offer services on discretion ever refuse some clients? How do you get the message through?

amy

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Re: Services at discretion
« Reply #1 on: 05 December 2011, 10:10:43 pm »
I've never understood the 'at discretion' clause - if a client turns up filthy and stinking or rude and disrespectful he's going to be refused service irrespective of what services are offered on my site, and as far as I'm concerned this goes without saying. I can't see what purpose it serves - it's not as if the lack of it removes anybody's right to say no. It's at my discretion whether they even get as far as the door, after all.

If you're going to turn somebody down for reasons other than hygiene or attitude, I'd try to have a cast iron excuse at the ready, although I can't honestly think of a good one.

xw5

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Re: Services at discretion
« Reply #2 on: 05 December 2011, 10:15:29 pm »
Some people make anal dependant on penis size, for example.
'The Ian formerly known as SW5'. What they said: "Indispensable", "You are our best resource", and (hours later!) "I'm afraid that you're being made redundant..."

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Mellow

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Re: Services at discretion
« Reply #3 on: 05 December 2011, 10:24:05 pm »
I used to find that services I would offer at discretion I would ALWAYS end up doing (sometimes felt pressured into doing) so I decided to take off nearly all services I offered at discretion, and felt a whole lot better, and more able to say about OWO for example........'its nothing personal - I just don't do it'


amy

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Re: Services at discretion
« Reply #4 on: 05 December 2011, 10:28:14 pm »
Some people make anal dependant on penis size, for example.

Sorry, yeah I've no doubt some do for anal. I was trying to think of things she could say for kissing and RO, and I'm a bit stuck :-\.

MissThang

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Re: Services at discretion
« Reply #5 on: 05 December 2011, 10:39:12 pm »
Yeah, for kissing and RO, if you offer it at discretion and choose not to offer it to them, it's cos there's something you don't like about them!
I tried to think of something, but could only come up with stuff that would knack the rest of the job (coldsores and the like)
I think it would be either a case of swallow the revulsion and do it, or tell them the real reason why not. Only lie I could come up with is that you have a boyfriend who doesn't like you to do those things, as they are personal to your relationship...

amy

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Re: Services at discretion
« Reply #6 on: 05 December 2011, 10:44:01 pm »
Yeah, for kissing and RO, if you offer it at discretion and choose not to offer it to them, it's cos there's something you don't like about them!
I tried to think of something, but could only come up with stuff that would knack the rest of the job (coldsores and the like)
I think it would be either a case of swallow the revulsion and do it, or tell them the real reason why not. Only lie I could come up with is that you have a boyfriend who doesn't like you to do those things, as they are personal to your relationship...

That last one's a time honoured old chestnut alright  ;D.

The problem with anything like this is , you'll eventually be left feedback or an FR by somebody who did do it and wants to tell the world. To be honest, if I thought I was going to turn a lot of people down on things like this i probably wouldn't list services at all, although that would be problematic on Adultwork tickbox-wise.

ladyjennaj

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Re: Services at discretion
« Reply #7 on: 05 December 2011, 10:59:10 pm »
I get clients who call up and ask 'do you do owo/french kissing/etc?' I usually answer 'at discretion, yes.' I find the statement gives me the freedom to refuse the service if the guy is filthy, unhygienic, under the influence of drugs, etc. I don't like to promise a service before  I have met the guy, if that makes sense?

xw5

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Re: Services at discretion
« Reply #8 on: 05 December 2011, 11:03:22 pm »
I was trying to think of things she could say for kissing and RO, and I'm a bit stuck :-\.

Stubble?
'The Ian formerly known as SW5'. What they said: "Indispensable", "You are our best resource", and (hours later!) "I'm afraid that you're being made redundant..."

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NorthernIrishNatalie

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Re: Services at discretion
« Reply #9 on: 06 December 2011, 01:30:49 am »
I don't offer OWO or Kissing anymore but when I did I refused quite alot of clients hence my change of services provided. I was new and naive and thought I had to do what other girls were offering. However being a total hygiene freak and a stand-offish bitch if I take a disliking to someone I used a few excuses.
 Kissing was the usual: Cold sore(even though I have, touch wood, never had one in my life), recent dental work ie; root cannal meaning the passing of bacteria from saliva is forbidden at present, suffering a hangover and still tasting of nasty vodka and probably a few others too. Sometimes, often in fact I'd just be honest and say I don't kiss on a first time meet untill I have a "connection" with you. Actually that's bollicks, that's another excuse to avoid kissing my "dad".
 If the client was a knob I'd just be honest and say for me to feel I could bring myself to kiss someone there has to be some form of attraction or they have to be really clean and have fresh breath.
   The OWO excuses were the same as the kissing ones. I also used the excuse of having just been tested at the GUM clinic and untill my results are returned I won't be offering such service. I did have one guy who had paid me extra for OWO and after returning from the shower I had asked him to take I could still smell sweat and piss. I asked him to return to the shower and this time use the toiletries provided. 3mins later he emerges and so does the previous smell. I simply said I am sorry but as you have neglected to take my subtle hints I must be honest. You need to use hot water and the Ph-balance wash on your genitals before I can be intimate with you in any form.
 As for RO I detest this. PID (Pelvic inflammatory disease can be caused by bacteria not just STDs'). I put up with RO sometimes if the client is just gently licking my clit but if he starts salivatating and spitting and pushing his tounge deep into me I shift positions or guide them elsewhere.
 If I know the guy is gonna be a slabber face fanny licker (you can tell) I refuse RO due to my period having just ended or due to me being on Antibiotics for a kidney infection.
  Rimming my excuse is just no, I don't enjoy it. I do but I really don't like the idea of some grease monkey pushing his germs in there.
 Natalie Xx
 
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Ellie_e

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Re: Services at discretion
« Reply #10 on: 06 December 2011, 01:33:35 am »
I definitely understand it for things like anal, role play, subbing etc.

For RO it's a bit tricky, I can't see any way to refuse a client and not have them take it personally...apart from 'I have a yeast infection' which is more likely to send them running for the hills...

It's probably better to not advertise offering certain services at all  but then if you are ok with doing it with a particular client then do and they may be pleasantly surprised and flattered. 'Oh I thought you didn't do X?'  'I normally don't but you are special....etc.'

Lauren Kay

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Re: Services at discretion
« Reply #11 on: 06 December 2011, 09:04:50 am »
I actually like kissing and oral on me generally, it's just those odd clients whose style of doing it I don't like: tonsil lickers, dribbling saliva, etc these types have been described on this forum many times. It's these tipes that I'd like to say 'stop' or 'no' to.  Or if the client is let's say, not necessarily unwashed, but has yellow teeth, or I suspect caries on his mouth.

EmilyJones

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Re: Services at discretion
« Reply #12 on: 06 December 2011, 10:32:15 am »
I actually like kissing and oral on me generally, it's just those odd clients whose style of doing it I don't like: tonsil lickers, dribbling saliva, etc these types have been described on this forum many times. It's these tipes that I'd like to say 'stop' or 'no' to.  Or if the client is let's say, not necessarily unwashed, but has yellow teeth, or I suspect caries on his mouth.

To be honest, when someone's mouth is so fetid that you can't bear kissing him, there's nothing you can do except explain politely. It's usually the types who think putting a bit of toothpaste in their mouth suffices for oral hygiene so even if they could go and brush again (and they can't, because if they do there will likely be tiny lesions in their gums from the abrasive toothbrush which adds extra risk to any services involving their mouth) it would make no difference.

Other services can at least be offered covered, so it's not like they have to be off the menu entirely. Sure, no client is going to be pleased about having to wear a condom on his fingers if he wants to put them inside you, or to have to use a dental dam or receive covered oral, but when someone's penis or fingers are dirty there's no way in hell any person should have to be touched or penetrated in any orifice by them uncovered.

I try to offer OWO to every client because it's a service I advertise and my reviews and feedback reflect this, so I try not to fret too much about saying, "Your penis smells really odd so I'm sorry [that you are so icky] but I'll have to use a condom for oral" in the rare but very unpleasant situation that it's necessary.

At the end of the day, what's the worst that can happen? Mr. Stinky gets in a huff about his own revolting stench and storms off? In my opinion, that's far better than me having to try desperately not to vomit on him - bookings where your stomach is constantly turning are the absolute worst!! As long as you explain in a polite and friendly way the reasons for him not having access to any uncovered services, though, he really has no right to complain. All a punter has to do is A) pay upfront and B) be clean, polite and respectful. None of those things are remotely difficult so in the thankfully-not-too-common situation where a client fails those basic things, I feel much happier just showing him the door.
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EvaBeeva

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Re: Services at discretion
« Reply #13 on: 06 December 2011, 10:42:09 am »
If their breath is so revolting that I can't kiss them, then I won't.  I usually say I need to 'get to know' someone first.  If they appear to have cold sores or herpes or whatever then no.  I won't even make any excuses, they can leave if they don't like it.
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Rooby

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Re: Services at discretion
« Reply #14 on: 06 December 2011, 11:47:56 am »
I try to offer OWO to every client because it's a service I advertise and my reviews and feedback reflect this, so I try not to fret too much about saying, "Your penis smells really odd so I'm sorry [that you are so icky] but I'll have to use a condom for oral" in the rare but very unpleasant situation that it's necessary.

I had this recently where I politely told him there was a strange smell and he replied that he 'didn't think it was that bad' <barf>  I told him that he expected my nose to get a lot closer than his own and he -still- tried to persuade me everything was fine...! When I explained that clean skin doesnt smell AT ALL he was mystified. I think far too many men think a quick rinse of their dick is all it takes whereas the truth is that their entire undercarriage needs soap and hot water applied and massaged in and rinsed thoroughly off, especially if they are on the hairy side.

My own bloke only needed to be told this ONCE at the very very start of our relationship and has been scrupulously clean ever since so I dont understand what goes wrong with the others. Do they not listen to their GFs? Are they bone idle? Do they assume that because we're WGs we have no standards and will accept anything??? One day I'm going to snap and get a nail brush and a bottle of bleach and really set to!

R xx