Yeah its a tricky situation although I think I've covered it well for the last 10 monts we've been together.I don't think he even knows what AW is but still want to put my side pick of my face up :/

My best friend has a boyfriend who doesn't know. The guilt ate her alive which is the pure reason she stopped actually because otherwise she liked the job. In fact he came very close to knowing which i guess isn't reassuring, she just admitted she was doing stripping but didn't divulge any further.

I think it's a big mistake to admit to something like stripping, if you want to keep it a secret. It gets their minds thinking in that direction. Most men know perfectly well that many strippers and dancers also escort (and I also find women tend to be more suspicious than men, and they often say things that will get you into trouble). You either have to be straight out and honest or keep it a complete secret. I've always talked about it, but now I'm not so sure that's the best way, because it has ultimately ended every relationship I've had.

I don't think many men cope with it at all well, and there are lots of things that can give it away, because in this job you learn a lot more about male sexuality than any of the men know themselves. I've had several occasions when I've said something that gives a clue, and you can almost see the cogs turning.

My boy friend found out last night, i am shattered because i love him we are very good together but this has practically killed him. Worst part is he doesn't even know everything. he keeps saying how can i trust you not to do it again and the thing is i don't know that he can atm its my only income and i have one month to save up around 7000.. (oz dollars they pay more over here and its quite do-able here) ANYWAY i could NEVER save that much in a normal job and i am so torn between continuing escorting and lying or stopping and being broke to me that just isn't an option i was always broke growing up so i always make sure i have some money left over. im tempted to work in a brothel and pretend to have a normal job but i just hate them SO F*CK*NG MUCH.

Went slightly off point. My point is its day one of the bf knowing and im cracking up i have no idea what to do. i want to keep working. but i want to keep him. (also we have a massive 4 month holiday planned ((well technically have the next two years penciled out)) and i neither of us want to break up but i know he will if he finds out im still working...

Please ladies and gentlmen any advice would be recomended. even if its not what i want to hear but what i need to hear.

Thanks Jamie xox

I'm really sorry this has happened, shit situation full of stress so hugs for you from me. If I were you I wouldn't have lied in the first place, no judgement though, that's just how I roll, as I couldn't be with someone who doesn't have the same relationship/political/etc views as me, so therefore I would leave him if I [was in your situation because that stuff is major deal breaker business to me. However, given that this is you, not me, and what has happened has happened, I think you need to consider two things:

Why he is upset - Is it just (not that "just is the right word) the trust thing because he was deceived, is it he can't date a prozzie, does he think prostitution is wrong/immoral?

What is this 7000 for? Is for something you must pay like a debt, medical care etc. or is it for something personal you probably could do without right now? Or even is it to do with work - a deposit on a work place, not a home place? Because then if you quit you don't really need it of course.

I think you have deceiveed a man that cares about you which makes it so likely things will turn ugly if you deceive him again and he finds out that time too - he could rat you out to family, he could interfere with punters, leave fake bad reviews, anything. I know you love him and I'm sure you feel he is a good man, but hell hath no fury like a man scorned too, not just a woman. We do questionable things when we're hurting.

Also, could you never be friends with him if you broke up to go on holiday with him? Could you swap names on the trip, even for a small fee? His or your friend could go in place of one of you and that way money isn't lost.

You will find the right answer for you when you just consider different factors with clear head - perhaps stepping away from the situation for a few days will give you that.

I'm sorry if my response isn't very cuddly-sounding, I'm a cold'un about my own relationship choices, but I honestly do hope you'll make the right choice for you xx

My partner of 8 years doesn't know  . I don't do any 'unsafe' services or get too intimate with clients however I still feel guilt. I cover all my bases as best I can - I cover my face and even use wigs for my pictures! When I answer my work phones I let the caller speak first just in case. Every and I mean every time I get a customer I make sure I can see them approaching the door just in case it's someone we know (not many people and even fewer who have the disposable cash). I don't work from home and keep all work items except my work phones there. My work phones are hidden when I get home and switched off and they have passwords to get into them. I also have a shower before going home just in case he hugs me when I come in the door or something.

The problem I am having now is that my cover story was always that I was doing admin work for a friend. This friend is real and does have quite a big business and was prepared to cover for me if my OH asked. But now the friend has moved away and I am getting paranoid that I will have to tell him I work in a bar or something , but then surely one day he may turn up there or call there looking for me  I am thinking of actually asking a regular client who has a business but I don't really want to do that. A WG friend works for a care agency and I was also thinking of asking her to cover for me saying I work there with her. He is starting to ask questions about why I work from 10 am - 9pm and it seems I can choose my days. 

I wish this wasn't my only option of work (I love sex work actually but for the partner side of it I wish I could get another job), but it is for various reasons (my health, childcare). I am not able to work a 'normal' job because I get relapses and remissions with my illness , but I want to save money and pay off debts and also want my kids not to have to suffer financially because of my health , so here I am! I have mainly 'grown out' of feeling the guilt all the time , I just see it as a neccessity now. But i do feel it sometimes.   x