When you are in a rut you can do things to self motivate yourself. This really isn't an adult industry problem and more a being self employed problem. You need to reignite a bit of excitement. I to have been working this way for a few years. It's so easy to become lazy when work is plentiful just like its so easy to shut down and bury your head in the sand when work dries up. I have constantly made tweaks and changes as I've gone and I find this helps re-motivate me. Give myself projects like new photos, refresh my website, buy some new outfits. It can be surprisingly little things.

You might also want to try and target your earnings for a treat. A holiday, a pair of super expensive shoes, whatever would make you really happy. Something you have to save for and motivate you that is not work related. 

Hi loulou,

I went though a similar rut like yours a few years ago. The job became tedious, boring. To make matters worse I had a very traumatic work experience that left me scared of seeing any new clients. All this affected the job seriously and I started making less and less money. So i decided to call it quits. It was not exactly burnout (as I know what it feels) It was...something else...I felt too vulnerable, had lost my self confidence and I  just couldn't do it anymore. period. So I quit the erotic massage thing and found a job in civie land (a job related to my "other" profession which is not massage). It was great. I loved it! It brough my self confidence back and I had a great time in the office. But a couple of years later I started resenting big time working in an office, I hated my boss, having a 9 to 5 schedule and making so little money working so many hours. So I quit my office job and opened my massage studio again. This time with a set of new rules, a different way of working, a new website and whole new attitude to the job. My goal is to have my own business, I have a hard time working for others and decided that if I was going to be self-employed I would never let myself get into the position that lead me to my previous..." rut" (?). i learned that in order to be self-employed you have to be very motivated (otherwise it won't work). This doesn't come easy as we have have our up and down periods in life. Every day is a battlefield , yes, but now I know what the "other option" is like and "the grass is definately not greener on the other side" .

Maybe you just need a break, a career change for a little while till you get your priorities straighten back. 

I'm so happy to hear your good news, LouLou - both re. the volunteer placement and the new work motivation! Also for selfish reasons cos it's a really motivational reminder to me that things CAN work out if you just keep at it. It's absolutely fine to be exhausted/unmotivated etc and take some time off - the important thing is to get back to things in a new improved energetic way when you feel better. It's funny because I see loads of parallels between the bits you've described in your situation and things in my life, like finding it tricky to even find a good volunteer position in this bloody economy!

And also the building pressures of sex work, the way it's all or nothing - one day you get five clients all wanting 3pm, another day nothing but idiot texters blethering on about their stupid timewastey nonsense. I too am looking forward to a more regular income because I find sex work very stressful unless I can be a bit relaxed about it (i.e. not desperately needing every penny I earn for rent & bills, which leaves you feeling so worried and vulnerable that a single stupid text or disrespectful idiot can make you want to quit immediately! And as you say, being able to turn away less-than-great clients is essential cos they bloody wear you out with their insideous evilness don't they?!). Anyway, I know I go on a lot about this sort of thing here on SAAFE so I won't ramble anymore - I just wanted to say that your post made me feel a bit of renewed energy to work towards my goals and keep aiming for what I really want in life!

Thank you, and wishing you tons of brilliant goodness with your volunteer placement.

Well done Lou Lou Glad you are feeling better about things and congratulations on the volunteer placement. Wishing you tons of luck that it all works out (which it will of course)

Also, well done for being strong and sending that ex client packing in a dignified fashion. It can be so hard to turn down the work, especially when you are fretting about paying bills and rent. But your story is  a great reminder that we can and should stick to our guns when it comes to turning down people who are potentially dangerous, wierdos or just make us feel intensely icky and uncomfortable for whatever reason.

Well done again and wishing you all the best.

-

Yes - Paris is really right about sectioning your earnings requirements into smaller, manageable amounts. Don't go thinking "I've got to earn eighteen grand this year. ARGH!" because then you'll just sit there sobbing at the thought of all the thousands of idiots and weirdos you'll be spending the year fighting off while trying to give the decent clients 110% effort - knackering!

I refuse to think more than one month ahead (except when it comes to trying to save, of course, but even then I just save a certain amount each month and most of it's for my tax bill but nonetheless, I just focus on each month in turn and try not to let everything else build up in my mind scarily), these days, and it's helped a lot. Then you can break it down to one week at a time. Knowing exactly what you need for a "minimum target" and "maximum target" is helpful, too; I keep a rather simplistic tally in my diary (basically recording each ?100 that I earn) so that I can see at a glance if I've met my targets that week. It's quite motivating! I do a vaguely similar thing with the hours I spend working on my other-work stuff and it's great to see my progress like that.

LouLou - I totally empathise about how wearing the never-ending barrage of idiocy and disrespect is. And we have to deal with it alone. At least in any other job you've either got colleagues, or you can ring up your mum, if you need to complain about the way so many idiots behave! And of course in our job it's that much more personal. Trying not to get "hardened" and to still bring a fresh, sunny attitude to every good client despite the way we're treated daily by what sometimes in my rather overactive imagination feels like an actual army of idiots - some more vicious than others! - marching towards you 24/7. I know I'm a bit of a sensitive soul and so I know that's why I won't be in the biz for too much longer; the money and hours can be good sometimes, but other times they're actually not, and often times they don't feel worth it compared to putting yourself out there to be disrespected all the time.

Sorry - god, I really do ramble about this all the time! But anyway, I'm just really excited that you've got your plan and that it's working out. I'm taking loads of the things you've written in your posts here to heart because things like remembering to use this job to make our lives better (rather than feeling "all used up" by the job etc), and to hopefully not have to rely on our sex work earnings entirely but just be grateful for what we do get because it improves our situation while we need it, and so on, are really important. I've got an important meeting to set up and I'm going to do it today, even though I'm still rather terrified of everything and it's sometimes hard to shake the idea that sex work is the only thing you can do - but you've inspired me to just get on with things!