I get this totally! When I earned fuck all I never cared, spent on credit cards, not even on anything worthwhile just everyday shit. Never saved at all. Now if I have more I save, pay off my mortgage and shop in Aldi and try to be sensible as much as possible. It's like if you have the money, you don't actually WANT to spend it! Whereas when you have nothing you don't care as much, like spending on credit cards is not real money when of course it's a slippery slope.

So I totally get where you are coming from. It does sound like it's bothering you a bit too much? Perhaps put aside a certain amount each week for the things you say you need to buy? Then save everything above that.

But you DO have something to show for your hard work. You have savings and peace of mind about your income. That's worth its weight in gold. Things and 'stuff' are not the way to go, that's the way to being poor. Many of the richest people in the world are the most frugal, that's why they are rich because they don't waste their cash!

I would perhaps recommend you talk to someone if it's worrying you a lot? The point of being in your situation is that it gives you peace of mind and if it doesn't then maybe you need to talk it through with someone?

First off, good job & may I say I'm jealous😁!

Cpl of suggestions: maybe do 1 item per week, beginning with the children & maybe that will "show you" that it's ok to spend a bit. You're not going nuts, you're not flinging all the cash up in the air, you're buying BEDS. That's completely valid, & intellectually I'm certain you realize this.

Get the TV. Buy a floor model that might have a scratch on it & the store's knocked $100 off bc of that or something. I'm not up on your holidays, but our Memorial Day in May would be a prime time to get one cheap.

Don't skimp on your bathroom FFS! That's your house value right there!

I'm assuming no one has a gun to your head saying "you must do these things by 1 April or the cat gets it!"😁 ~ slow.... slow....

You worked hard for that $$. Of course you want to hang onto it! But you KNOW this is spending intelligently! *encouraging smile*

I would buy essentials. For me it's about being savvy. TVs etc. are a lot cheaper these days, and somewhere nearly always has sales on. Things like beds, depending on what your kids are like, buy decent ones and they should last a few years. It's good to be cautious, but you can go too far the other way.

 I browse through certain big stores in my town and see sofas for £2k or cushions for £40 and think how lovely they are but am not tempted for a second to pay those prices. I like knowing that I could if I wanted as have a great pile of savings but to me it is a waste as I am more than content with my £350 sofa and Primark or Matalan cushions etc. etc. In my opinion they look just as nice and if anyone comes to my home and looks down their nose they can fuk off.

Also at the cheaper prices I don't feel committed to hanging onto everything for years as if I fancy a change of colour or style I can do it without spending much. 

I have a weekly/monthly target for what I ideally want to make in order to pay all my bills and spend a little on myself and most importantly to save a certain sum. Some months I scrape by with the savings target but other months I go way over.  Like others I shop in Aldi as well as the other places and I wear the same day clothes year after year as I hate throwing stuff out. I know some sex workers spend what must seem half their earnings on the hair and beauty salon visits and big name make up and perfumes etc but again I can't bring myself to do this. I am the lowest maintenance person I know and probably spend £20-£30 a year on make up and cut and colour my own hair. I have no costly jewellery or watches as not interested. I last bought a watch in Marks and Spencer for £25 and thought I was spashing out.

Each to their own of course but I think we have a mentally tough job and we deserve to enjoy the money but I could not imagine working year in and year out and having nothing to show for it at all.

For clothes for you try to buy either on ebay or charity shop or discount prices only in local shops.

For mattresses/beds buy a topper meanwhile on ebay for any beds that need seeing to.  They last two years.

As for a tv not sure what it will be like where you live but you can look on preloved site or go to local car boots although some may not work.  Buy them secondhand if need be.

Not intending to go off the point of the thread.

IT is the high cost of living over the last ten years/Tory rule/10 years of austerity that hasn't helped matters.

Try to keep desires to a minimum of what you perceive you 'need'.


Hope this helps!

I'm the opposite. I spend alot of my money on fitness, clothes, hair ect because I like to look good and feel good. I like to know that all this hard work I put in  so I can reap the rewards and enjoy the money. I'm not reckless though. I put away a nice chunk in savings. The rest is for me to enjoy as I dont want to miss out on life.

All advice has been fab.

Im incredibly scrupulous and have always been extremely minimal when it comes to spending.
Its not struggling to manage my money, its the actual struggle of feeling ok to spend it without the guilt.

Probably working out budgets and spenditure and whats coming in will ease my anxiety.

Thanks though ladies. Your advice and stories shared has really helped. X

Think of it like this
That’s was a bloody hard bj I had to do today - so I’m damm well treating myself /the kids to somethings out of the money earned
I find a bit of humour normally helps me spend 😂 as long as you have some savings behind you and don’t blow every last penny and your skint it’s fine to spend some money