How absolutely awful. I cant think of much worse than my family finding out what I do. It would be an utter tragedy. My parents would never ever disown me but they would be deeply disappointed and wouldnt be able to understand why I had chosen this path.

I had a shit of an ex who once emailed links, photos and reviews etc to all of my friends (none knew what I did). Luckily he didnt know my family members as we hadnt been together long. There was no way I could  deny it to them all as it was crystal clear that it was definitely me. I admitted it and none were supportive. They are no longer my friends.
I felt like I couldnt work for a while as I was scared of someone telling my family. So I deleted my profile and pics etc and made a new shitty profile with only 5 or 6 discreet pics of my boobs and bum. I was living in Islington at the time but listed my profile on Adultwork as living in Angel (a nearby area) so that if my friends did a search for escorts in Islington I wouldnt show up (which would hopefully put them off the scent).
I would get clients from Angel wanting to book me and I would inform them by email that I was going to be doing incalls in Islington for the next month or so. They were all fine about it as it wasnt far for them to travel.
I also only responded to emails from clients who had feedback and had been members on the site for a while. Anyone who had only just recently joined the site or had no feedback would get no response from me incase they were my friends or my ex trying to find me.
It was a stressful and tedious way to work but I still got enough bookings to pay the bills. After doing that for 3 months I went back to my old ways of working but still tried to be as discreet as possible.

If you want a relationship with your mum you will need to be honest with her. She knows you are lying and you cant deny it. Maybe write her a letter explaining why you chose this path in life and let her know how happy you are with your choices. I doubt she will support it but she might eventually be able to have a relationship with you again without the subject ever being mentioned.

As for your ex, dont contact him again. Even if he is really riling you and upsetting you then ignore it. He cant do this for the rest of his life, and after a month or so he will be bored of it all and back off.

If you want to go to the police then go for it. My friend was in a similar situation and she spoke to a female officer about it who was incredibly kind and supportive. She took it extremely serious as the man had been harrassing her and her family in a malicious way. He got a restraining order against him and a serious talking to.

Maybe do outcalls from a hotel for a while too if that's an option, just incase your family members are spying on your home to see if there are men going in and out.

Good luck with it all xxxx

Ana, everybody is entitled to express their view here and whilst you are perfectly entitled to disagree with that view for whatever reasons you like, there is no need to be rude - you do not know any of these posters personally and what might be an appropriate course of action for you will not necessarily suit everybody. The OP has asked for advice and the purpose of an open forum is so that she can recieve and consider a range of different perspectives.

In future keep it civil, please.

If you want a relationship with your mum you will need to be honest with her. She knows you are lying and you cant deny it. Maybe write her a letter explaining why you chose this path in life


This is not such a bad idea .... i would actually send a email to your mother ( as you know she will read it) i dont think there is any point now in denying it, at least it is all in the open ....explain your reasons why etc tell her you appreciate her bringing you up and putting you through university whatever , tell her you are sorry she has found out like this but you cant change anything done is done but when she is ready to talk to you ( not shouting) to email you and you can try and get your relationship on track again .

It is not the end of the world (that was sat and we are all still here :-D )
You can get through this my parents found out and still talk to me ........i think you are feeling the *shame* at the moment of being outed so you don't want contact but that will change soon ........look at this way at least no one can hold anything over you again .
And as for the idiot dont give him another min of your time he has the done the worst thing he could ever do to you ----you are better than him  just turn the other cheek and just hit delete/ ignore pretend he doesn't exist that will hurt him more as  he seems to want a reaction off you and everyone else.

Mothers are not with out fault .......you only get one ...........and only you know if her good points outway her bad .
 

Ana, everybody is entitled to express their view here and whilst you are perfectly entitled to disagree with that view for whatever reasons you like, there is no need to be rude - you do not know any of these posters personally and what might be an appropriate course of action for you will not necessarily suit everybody. The OP has asked for advice and the purpose of an open forum is so that she can recieve and consider a range of different perspectives.

In future keep it civil, please.

I didn't mean to be disrespecful in any way, but if my comment came out looking "rude"  I apologize to the poster (and the forum). I was just trying to make a point on  writing a letter to mum a bad idea (in my point of view). I post it in a rush and it was certainly not the intention. Sorry for that.

I cant believe how supportive everyone has been on here, im really touched by the number of replies! wow! thank u! I wasnt able to write earlier as I changed my home phone number a few days ago and this has cut off my broadband!! So had to get one of those dongles for the time being until the broadband is sorted out, but its super slow!  

From now on i will listen to you ladies starting with not checking my mums mails anymore. I have blocked his email however from her email account so im sure she wont receive anymore unless  he starts sending from yet another email account...

I have had the worst stressful couple of days ever. There was some small unknown independent escort site- with a pic of me from YEARS back that doesnt even really look like me anymore...and a link to one of the main agencies i was with, he kept on sending that same link to my mum! I called my agency boss straight away to get it removed and after him being in this industry over 10 years even he had never come across this site or knew what it was!!! Goes to show how obsessed and physco he is, he must LITERALLY be trawling through EVERYTHING- but then with him not working and all, he has the time...

I understand what many ladies here are saying but telling my mum the truth just isnt an option. I do have a few friends that do this work and their mums know, and are i guess ''ok-ish''/dont talk about it/slightly in denial, but generally have an ok relationship still, however that will never be my mum, i just cannot do it, i think if im always denying it then she can never be 100% sure...she can think what she wants...but she will NEVER be 100% sure, and to be honest it is none of her business...I dont want to hurt her even more.

My mums texts have been so mixed last feeew days. I have denied denied and denied. I have been honest and told her how she has let me down in the past, she wasnt there when i had the abortion, she told me to deal with it alone, or when an ex partner was abusing me when i was 18...she saw the bruises and just told me to go back and stop being difficult with him and arguing (we lived together, and if i had to move out she would be paying double the rent- i was at uni) At 21, she tried to get me to marry a rich older guy, who was SO unsuitable for me, but rich so...

Anyway if i go into the million reasons why she was a crap mum id be here all week. So now all my pics are off, theres no advertising for me out there anywhere, ive told my mum they are modelling pics and thats it. End of story.

But yes i logged into her email last night and there was an email, from her to him saying leave my daughter alone, i dont believe your lies i believe her, i will call your dad and tell him whats happening if he doesnt stop. Then she went onto email his DAD!! Your son is doing this and doing that....Maybe she felt guilty all of a sudden, its the first time EVER she has stuck up for me, usually she will always side with the other person (even as a child she did that- we never ever had a bond as mother/daughter ever)

But i feel she has just made it worse. I know her contacting my ex's dad will make him go crazy and i dread to think what other ''evidence'' he has- im sure he has some kind of emails and texts, and being so crazy got knows what else.

From now on I have to leave it. Why does she just not change her phone number and email- will take 5 mins! So frustrating. I think shes now unsure, i made her feel so guilty how she has let me down in the past maybe she is questionning what hes saying more now. Either way the only thing right now that makes any sense to me is to cut all contact with the both of them.

On the business side of things, does anyone have any ideas what I can do...because Ive had to get all my photos off the agency websites, I now basically havent had a single job, and really cannot afford right now to be taking so much time off. I have booked a new photoshoot for next week, who does totally different style to my other pics, ive cut my hair a bit shorter and i will ask her for extra photoshop...but im still scared so bad that he will know its me...i know its not great, but for the meantime, until the dust has settled a bit, i have tried to get some fake photos to use just for a month or so just so i have something, but cannot find any one that looks like me or that pics are good quality.I have some regulars but not really enough, and they are very unreliable, always seeing other girls etc so cannot rely on them for stable income.

what a mess... x

i would say whatever you do is gonna be wrong  in one way or another 

lets be realistic  now  she is your mum  she brought you up, therefore she probably knows you better than you know yourself , she knows what your boyfriend said is the truth no matter how much you deny it , all of a sudden  little things that you did in the past start to make sense  to her  mothers have an unatrual instinct for when there kids are lying 
 
imo   there is no real doubt about that from her reactions  she knows what you did,  she is not stupid  but she is slowly supporting your side of the story and  turning on your boyfriend  it could end up being one of those situations where its known but not talk about   

also while there is a bit of doubt you can make that into less doubt  - as shaggy said it wasnt me  !!! 

so take advantage of her slowly supporting you and  stay away from her for the time being for as long as possible   tell her that just that mere fact that she belived him over you  has really hurt you and YOU  want to assess if its possible to still see your mum as you dont think she is very supportive of you  in any way

sometime hun you have to get mad at people  and put them in there place,  being nice and reasonable dont work  and you sure as  hell dont get any brownie points for doing the right thing   
i know some people say im  direct and to the point but  it stops so much shit  from happening in my life by being that way     

dont let your mum manipulate you  either  reading from your post she seem self centered and selfish  and of no real support or help to you whatsoever   

and  i may get flamed for saying this  but  she  wanted you to marry a guy just cos he was rich  to me thats not far off prostitution  expect that your not on an hourly rate 

i know shes your mum  but maybe she needs to start acting like one instead of a selfish  moo     
   

thank u everyone, i wish i had your strength paris but right now i cannot do it, i cannot admit anything, im at that place where she can just believe whatever the hell she wants, i wont have her in my life and will cut contact- then i take the risk of her suddenly turning up at my flat...knowing my luck when i have some old client inside lol, so thats why i did give her my new mobile number so she has that way of contact before she decides to just turn up!

she text me this morning in her posh stuck up tone that ''she wont change her mobile number'', blaming everything on me for always taking him back etc...she really knows how to make me feel better...

All u ladies are right i do need to look after myself now and that should be my priority xx

Hey babe

I've come to this a bit late in the day I know but I feel so bad for you. Don't EVER let a man treat you like that again you're worth so much more. I couldn't ever imagine my family finding out so I don't know how you feel but one thing is sure, your family is your family no matter what. Tell your mom you love her as your mom & you'll always be here waiting for her when she wants to contact you.

DON'T contact that lowlife user & abuser, whom you called a boyfriend, ever again. I think I gather that you've changed all your contact details which is the best thing. I think also the advice given about contacting the police was spot on, it is still harassment even by text & e-mail. Report him NOW!!!! He'll be sat there thinking that there's nothing you can do, wouldn't that surprise him then!!!

New life ahead hunni. Pick yourself up, dust yourself down & go for it. Do what YOU want to do, earn your money how YOU want to earn it & live your life how YOU want to live it!!! F**k the lot of em!!

God luck babe, all the girls on here are fab, PM the one's who have offered their support, the one's who say you can have their numbers use them as an emotional crutch to get you back on your feet.

Take lots of care of yourself.

Lots of luv & hugs being sent to you.

Kate xxxxx