Hi ladies,

I just found this site by chance and im in such a state right now I just wanted to get a little advice because I honestly dont know where to turn.

My ex boyfriend has now been threatening to tell my family what i do for the last few months. We were together 1.5 years when he found out, me being careless i left my email open and he read emails between me and my friend who also works. He was always very controlling and jealous but when he found out his temper and anger was out of control. We tried to stay together and make it work, but he would call me names and swear at me everyday, make me feel so worthless i ended up on sleeping tablets and anti depressants- not because of the job, but the relationship.

we broke up for 6 months, but i was so brainwashed by his emotional abuse i went bk to him a few times like a stupid puppy for more abuse. I knew what i was doing was killing him, but how he took it out on me i know i never deserved. After a long time apart, 4 weeks ago he came to stay with me for a week (hes eastern european and doesnt live in this country) and proposed to me, told me we would work through this and he loved me so much. For a week he would check all my emails from my friends and texts, just looking for some fight. One night a friend text me saying something like ''that guy u like off jersey shore is cute!'' he read it, and physically attacked me. He had gone totally physco.

Of course he broke up with me as soon as he left and started threatening again to tell my family. In the past when he did threaten to, he would always after apologise saying he would NEVER do it, that he just says it in anger and would never hurt my family like that. Well last night has changed my life forever.

He had not contacted me for a week or so and randomly started calling at midnight last night. id usually be in bed but my trainer from the gym, who lives 2 mins from me, persuaded me to come to his house warming party. My trainer is just a friend, not my type at all. He was just worried i was home every night crying myself to sleep missing my ex. When my ex called i missed the first few calls, then my trainer answered the phone and very politely told him to stop calling me, that it was upsetting me, and that he was the one who broke up with me...

My trainer doesnt know what i do. Him answering the phone was the worst thing i could have done. But id had a few drinks and was feeling happy, my ex had met my trainer in the past and knew we were just friends nothing more. This time it sent him crazy. He started texting me saying things like ''oh now your f-ing your trainer u s-ut!!! and every other name under the sun.

10 mins later i get a text saying ive just called your mum and told her everything, what her precious daughter has been doing, and ive sent her links to all the sites your disguisting pictures are on. I started shaking and made some excuse and rushed home. I luckily know the password to my mums email, and quickly logged on. He had sent her all the links and all the emails were already read. I checked my phone and had 20 missed calls from my mum in 10 mins.

I was sick. My mum is 55, she only has me, i have helped her a lot financially and done a lot for her in the past after my dad walked out on us. Shes not well and had a heart attack only 2 summers ago. My nan died earlier this year and my mum very nearly didnt get through it. He knew all of this.

I then get a text from him saying ''i will f-ck your life up like u have mine b-tch''

Then another...''i actually felt a bit bad what i just did...for a second...but after what u did to me and now f-ing your trainer u can go f-ck yourself u s-ut!!!

My mum is a nurse and worked all her life to give me a good education and uni, shes not one of those ''cooler'' mums, understanding and believing everything their daughter says,  she then went onto email him maybe 10 times back and forth wanting to know exactly what ive been doing.

She carried on calling me all night but i ignored it. I was shaking and crying hysterically and didnt have a clue what to say. I also didnt know everything he had said to her. I was just unbelievably scared.

This morning i had my mum calling again, this time a bit less, but also my auntie, my brother, his wife...It looks like he didnt just tell my mum but my entire family. My mum sent me a text saying she had to take time off work and what she found out last night she cannot believe...that her daughter is a prostitute selling herself for shoes and bags...(?? i guess she knows how much stuff i have)

Time and time today and last night, i have just wanted to take all my pills and kill myself. I see no way out of this. I wont get thru it and neither will my mum. What he has done hasnt just ruined my life but also my entire familys and my mums, i love my mum so much and cant bear her knowing this. I was always the good girl, the good student. The one in london with the ''good job''. As my uni was media studies, i had told her i was working at a magazine, for 2 years...last night he told her to call the magazine tomorrow morning to see if they knew who i was. My life is just over.

My mum is eastern european. Her country isnt like london/uk. Here we hear about escorts all the time, in her country its really the lowest of the low, its horrific and she just cannot comprehend it.

I have text her today. I told her that i had just woken up to all the missed calls etc, my phone was on silent i was sleeping...that i didnt know what was going on, i dont know the websites, that the photos are mine from where i wanted to go into bikini/fashion-catalogue modelling, that my ex had these photos and had put them up on the internet to hurt me, humilate me and ruin my life. That i knew nothing and it certainly wasnt true what hes saying.

She then replied...''so why are u naked in the photos????what modelling would that be!''

I can tell she doesnt believe me. Shes had a whole night to think and the new things shes seen in my flat, and yes the bags, shoes, me always having cash on me, it prob all adds up to her now.

I have been in bed crying and unable to move since all this happened at 1am-ish. I have called my friends they are in shock he could do this. Go ahead hurt me if u like, kill me, do what makes u feel better, but to so brutually, without shame, tell my fmily something like this???

I just dont know where to go from here. If i keep my photos removed from the sites i wont get any work and i have a central london apartment and bills to pay, i need to work. But I cant have my photos there where my family have seen them. I could do new photos and change my name etc but im scared he will still find me, he knows my body inside out, he will recognise me, even with new pics and he will just send those links to my mum...I never show my full face anyway, but i think if its your mum or bf seeing the pics they will always spot its u...i dont know...dye my hair blonde, cut it...i dont know, seeing my hair is so dark i cant imagine doing a Jordan and bleaching it...

Do i try dancing...i just dont know, i know i cannot NOT work and i know that also I cannot work either!!! How could he ever have loved me? This isnt love...

For someone to be so evil. So cruel. I told him, we broke up, i know i hurt u wen u found out about the job, but u could have just moved on, met someone else, your whole life was in front of u, he has a huge loving family, friends, a good job...why just not leave me then! Move on from me??? Why do THIS to me???

If anyone could give me ANY advice on what i could do now, or any help, because i literally just do not see any way out...

 He has not contacted me in any way since doing all of this last night.

This is so sad.  I feel terrible for you and your mum.  Its mortifying.  My father has accused me in the past of being a whore and I just denied it and my mother told him not to be so stupid.  I dont know if she was in denial or just a bit slow.  My dad defintely has suspicions about me and my lifestyle.
 Ultimately what you decided to do is up to you but first and foremost I hope you never let that scumbag back into your life in any way.  He is truly evil.
Its hard to know whats the best thing to do but Ana made very valid points.  I think I take down your site and have your pics wiped from the net and lay very low.  Maybe if you have some of your trusted regulars who you can see on the sly till you can get a new look, new pics, cropped head and a new site done.  But really take some time out.  Re- your mum???  MMMmmm thats a tough one, only you and her can work on that.  Shes obviously not buying the BS.  Your mum loves you ultimately.  I think you can work on it with time and be her kid again.  Just never ever let a boyfriend know that your doing this!!!!!  It spells disaster a lot of the time and gives them too much ammunition to hurt you.
BTW someone told me that blurred pics are very easy to unblur with certain software.  So im gonna be cropping my pics.

Thank you so much to everyone, ive just been in such a daze today, not done anything just lay in bed staring into space. I text the ex bf...i know, i shouldnt, but i wanted him to know what he had done, i thought if i make him feel bad and guilty enough he may still be able to fix it with my mum...somehow, but all i got back was a text saying leave me alone, ''f-ck you and your trainer, f-cking b-tch''

I did as Ana said and sent my mum a long text telling her she knows exactly the kind of guy my ex is- violent, abusive, drinking, i reminded her of the time he attacked me even in front of my brother and his wife...and that if she would rather believe his lies over what her daughter is telling her then id rather not have her in my life at all. She sent me a nasty vile text about me being a prostitute before she even spoke to me!!! just took his side STRAIGHT AWAY. Im on anti depressants and sleeping pills and im only 26, what else does she want from me!

I hate him with all my heart. And now know he could never have loved me. When he got drunk numerous times, and when he attacked me did i call his family to humiliate him and ''ruin his life''. No because the thought never even ENTERED MY HEAD let alone do it.

Hi Dionne, your message really hit me. Because everything u have said is true. Me and my mum dont have the best relationship, shes over bearing, loud, controlling and extremely critical of me- my flat, uni choices, looks etc. Nothing is ever good enough. Yet i love her and have always done everything i can to please her and make her happy as she is all the family i really have, other than my brother.

But she believed him right away. Without even speaking to me and hearing my side of things, she automatically sent me a horrible text that im a disgrace to the family, im a prostitute, and kept repeating that P word over and over...fact is my photos COULD HAVE BEEN stolen from a modelling site. But she didnt give me a chance to try explain.

Maybe i made it worse by not answering the phone, and even when i text was quite late. But i was so shocked and scared and crying, and just couldnt face it. My mum isnt the sweet, nice approachable mum ive always wanted, i wish i had a mum like yours. When i got pregnant at 18 and had to have an abortion and she later found out, she screamed at me ''for being a pathetic child who couldnt keep her legs shut'' and was ONLY concerned that i had taken some big amount of money from my savings account (technically her money) to pay for the private abortion. Its been more than once that i have thought to cut her out of my life as i am genuinely much happier and calmer  when shes not in it... 

Theres one thing though, shes saying now, ok so if he really did take your modelling pics and put them on the internet to humilate u and ruin your life, why would he crop half of your face? the pictures she saw the face was cropped...shes like makes no sense! (she doesnt believe me still...) xx

Hi Sarah.
I am so sorry for you.
Your scum ex has now done everything he can to  hurt you.
And you now get to deal with the fallout as best you can,

Can I confirm that
HIS CREATION OF THE ESCORT SITES
FEATURING PHOTOS HE STOLE FROM YOU
is part of  the continuing abuse
and that he did this ages ago
and told you
{as part of his controlling abuse and violence}
that HE MADE THESE SITES SPECIFICALLY TO ABUSE YOU AND EVENTUALLY HURT YOUR FAMILY.
{that sounds pretty good}
Ok, so what he didn't create your escort persona.
The point is that you need something creative like the above
{for your families consumption}
to hammer home how evil he is and that his lies are to hurt you on a continual basis...
And you want your family to protect you from him.

I wouldn't text him AT ALL. Any attempt on you communicating with him is going to end up in more manipulation on his side. Just remove him from your life.  He's a horrible man willing to damage you and will do more given the chance. Let him lie there triumphantly thinking he got away with whatever he wanted and don't reply any calls/e-mails. As per your mom...like the above posters said...I would never reccomend shunning a mother from anybody's life but she's proven to be a total b---ch and if she's willing to take sides with your abuser.... well... I don't think  a relationship with her is the healthiest thing. Eventually time heals things and  I'm sure she'll recapacitate but for the moment I would definately cut her loose so she can share some stories of "what a horrible person u are" with her new best friend.

We can choose our friends but unfortunately we can't choose our parents. You need to sorround yourself with loving people (and not the other way round!).

I cannot believe how supportive everyone has been on here and i just want to thank u so much. I have a few close friends i can talk to that know what i do, but at this time i just need so much support and u have all been amazing here, thank u again xx

My mum sent me another vile text last night how 'my story' doesnt make sense, but his does completely, shes like the photos are disguisting (they were NOT) they were linked to a profile...prices...all information about u which was true...and why if he wanted to humiliate and embarras u would he crop your face...your lying to me...'' The usual. I text her reminding him what hes always been like and she just replied ''if he was abusive why go back why not leave him'' I mean, is she that stupid!!??? Lots of women go back to emotionally and physically abusive relationships, the men have this hold over the woman that makes them go back!!! Shes making it out like im even lying, even though he once attacked me in front of family members!

I just changed my number and im not even giving it to her. I feel so let down by her, why was she even communicating with him? Why at the first instance did she just not tell him to f-ck off...shes loves drama and adding fuel to fire, even if thats about her own daughter.

My heart goes out to you, I agree with the others on pretty much everything,
Your mum does sound really nasty, if she saw him attack you infront of her and  yet she still believes him over you it really does sound like she isnt worth knowing.

I hope it works out for you for hun, xxxx