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General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: jellib33 on 15 November 2020, 07:10:23 pm

Title: Retired escorts - how was your transition?
Post by: jellib33 on 15 November 2020, 07:10:23 pm
I've left the business after 4 years but I've moved back home and while I am actively looking for a job I have to say that at this point in my life I feel like a failure, I'm constantly worrying about my future if I'll have kids or if it's something that's out of the picture because I'm still hung up on this guy who I met originally as a client but we hit it off right away so I (like a BAD sex worker) saw him off the clock, now he's getting engaged and I'm just faced with the reality that maybe a lot of men might treat you this way, I don't want to live like this but I have very intense scary fears and memories and nothing makes sense and so I was just wondering if any retired ladies, what has your experience been?
Title: Re: Retired escorts - how was your transition?
Post by: SWgirl on 16 November 2020, 02:23:53 pm
I wasn’t in the bizz long only about a year but I gave up escorting for a guy. Obviously it didn’t work out and I’m on my own again. Got back into a civvy job full time and at times I miss my freedom but on my bad days I beat myself up about selling my body. I still webcam from time to time but the thoughts are still there. I haven’t let a man touch me in 10 months the thought gives me anxiety and when guys make moves I get my back up. It’s sad but true and I’m hoping one day I will beat it.

I don’t think it will leave you anytime soon and I don’t have much advice on how to deal with it tbh.  I’m just posting so you know you aren’t alone, although it feels like it, you aren’t.
Title: Re: Retired escorts - how was your transition?
Post by: jellib33 on 19 November 2020, 07:21:56 pm
Oh wow, thank you so much i feel exactly like this and unfortunately there is no happy middle in my way of thinking. I left because I liked a guy too and of course he's engaged (I didn't know he had a girlfriend at the time) but I definitely feel tricked and like some side piece when I somehow (and am still) head over heels for the dude. And somehow in my thought patterns I check his fiances Instagram even though I know I shouldn't and I know this behavior is not good for each of us but I do it anyway and I'm still madly in love with him. He's just so perfect he dresses so nice and I don't know how long this will last or how hopeless I'm going to be and mentally my personality has changed and I'm VERY worried about getting a civvie job but yes, I'm just trying to get out more instead of sleeping in and start socializing myself I guess into society which is just ridiculous because I never had this problem but anyway, that's slightly for a different reason, I ended up joining one of those exiting sexual exploitation programs and it's made me very hard to relate to people and I don't know why.

Yeah, I do as well. It haunts me honestly, the forums and stuff do really help but yeah I just feel so heavy, I think I'm probably very depressed since I moved back home and can't seem to even get an entry level job. I don't know what my problem is lately. But I hope you do feel better. That makes me happy you weren't in this business as long as me! But yeah, it changes you.
Title: Re: Retired escorts - how was your transition?
Post by: cherryfcuk on 21 November 2020, 10:49:28 am
You know what I will say dont let a man hold you back.... never ever give your power to him, Your in control of your amazing future, I know with corona its tough right now. But you've got your whole life ahead of you people will come and go in your life. I was an escort for 3 years then retired then I came back and I decided to retire for myself recently because I wanted more for my life. Think about the future you want to create now moving forward. Work on yourself and build up your self esteem. It takes time but working on yourself is the best thing you can do to over come these types of situations. I hope you start to fell better soon! x
Title: Re: Retired escorts - how was your transition?
Post by: GlamQueen2223 on 21 November 2020, 02:54:27 pm
Reading this brought a little tear to my eye. I always feel like retiring but I get scared of going back to a civvy job and failing at it and inevitably returning to escorting. Its so hard to have time and energy for normal relationships and I too have been burned by a guy who used to be a client. Same story - he got engaged to someone else and just binned me like rubbish. It hurt and made me feel like no guy looks at me seriously or with real respect while I'm doing this job.

I want to retire too and maybe run my own business. The thought of a low paying civvy job and all the hours required scares me. I've got so used to being my own boss and I don't think I can relate to people in a work environment! But I envy you for going for it.  Good luck and like the others said you have your entire life to create it just as you want it to be.
Title: Re: Retired escorts - how was your transition?
Post by: lilith on 22 November 2020, 10:05:34 pm
Hello jellib33!

Don't feel sorry, please. Actually what you are dealing with is a very common feeling for any adult who didn't follow "the regular pattern" of life when we encounter a transitional situation as I like to call it.

As you asked, I will tell you how I transitioned.
Life led me to escorting, the good way (curiosity, freewill and openmind), the bad way too, when I lost everything my energy and capacity to live in the community included.
Let's go short, I was kind of the "happy hooker", working well, taking good care of myself and my customers.
I owned several businesses before, also worked for others using my degrees.

Happy escort for several years, being who I am, I needed a change.
Scratching my head ; work learnt at school? Nope, but keep in case of emergency.
Former businesses field of work? Nope, tired of that.
Dead end? No.

I have several strong hobbies. One is doing nails.
I just tried. First with my  friends, then with paying models and now being a successfull nail tech working from home.

During the learning phase I worked basic jobs as replacement waitress, cleaning lady, replacement secretary or accountant - what I studied for- and basically all I could bear for more than, 2-3 weeks a row being "a clean and proper employee" (I'm disabled and can't really deal with super strict regular schedule for too long before my health strikes back badly).
Two thoughts in mind during this time : being able to pay my bills and learning my new job.

The thinking mechanic behind all this was.
I'm in difficulty.
Regular solutions didn't work.
I invented something that could work for me. Even if nobody was believing in me and having strong issues that I had no choice but to address for a quiet future.
I did that several times times before, hence why I was confident (not so much actually).
One of those times were when i became an escort. You did that too! So it's not your first time.

Try to look into your qualities, some are linked to "standard" jobs, some are not. Scout for formations, stages and so on.
If those things are not for you, you might want to reexamine your not so standard capacities/qualities.
Try associating it with something you really like to do as an amateur or something you are sure you will be happy to do everyday.
fantasy a little bit for motivation, then go serious in examination. This might be the way to go.
It worked for me!

You have value, you are special. Find the way to make a living out of it.
If you can't, find an alimentary work and make sure to develop yourself as far as you can on the side. In this case, work is just a way to pay bills and buy food. Work is just work...
The most important is your personal life.
Those are opposite point of view formwise but have the same result : solving the balance problem between life and food gathering.

Hope this can inspire you...

Ps : Never underestimate little crafts.
I you can knit, braid, cut hair, cook nicely, do plumbing, paint walls or anything... Make sure people know (tell it, place an add on internet, do flyers).
This can bring you 20, 50 bills and bigger there and now.
And a simple 20 bill can be very precious during though times...

Title: Re: Retired escorts - how was your transition?
Post by: Infinity on 09 February 2021, 10:34:02 am
I know some people have freely chosen this line of work as a work life style and have no plans to change line of work at the moment and good luck and all the best to you. This post is for people who decided to leave.

Interested in knowing about people's experience leaving this line of work, how it went, how they did it, what made them do it, are they better off etc xxx
Title: Re: Retired escorts - how was your transition?
Post by: EnglishAmy40 on 09 February 2021, 10:04:13 pm
I sometimes think the phrase, "once a whore, always a whore", is true for many of us. It's always something to fall back on. But I'd also be interested to know of anyone who hung up their knickers and escaped to pastures new and how it went. I sometimes think I'd miss the attention but I'm really bored of sex work lately.
Title: Re: Retired escorts - how was your transition?
Post by: Glowstick on 10 February 2021, 08:31:17 pm
I understand falling for a client because I did when I first started, I was texting him a lot & felt like I could talk to him about anything but one night he asked if he could come over and I said I wasn’t in the mood, had a crap day and just felt a bit emotional, he reassured me and said we should watch a movie and he’d give me lots of cuddles to cheer me up... well I was sold! Wed watched a film and it got late so both went to bed.. it all felt sincere ...spooning led to forking... but then as we’d finished and I was about to fall asleep- he jumped out of bed, got dressed and left £60 on the end of the bed. I was absolutely gutted. I was more offended by the money left but that was my harsh lesson to never fall for a client again. I blocked and deleted him straight away.

A few months later I met someone, outside of escorting. I told him after a month of being together & carried on escorting for 5 years then He proposed to me jan 2020 & then covid hit and my anxiety went through the roof so I stopped. I found a job working as a housekeeper in a hotel and hated the way I was looked down on, it was even more soul destroying than escorting.

I now work in an office, it’s much better but I constantly think I’m not good enough and I’ll get fired - I’ve been fired from so many jobs for being so head strong and independent, I can’t be the girl that just nods and looks pretty, if I can improve the business - I’ll tell people and people... well men just don’t like a woman with opinions...

I do miss escorting, I miss the freedom but I hate lying to my friends and family. I saved up £10k and I’ve been making a shit ton of money on crypto so money isn’t really the issue. I just want to be my own boss again...

I’m stuck in a rut, I’ll stick at my job until covid ends (or I get fired) but the two options then is go back to escorting or setup my own business... because I can’t face working for anybody again - if anyone has a good business idea & wants to go into business with me, pm me. :)
Title: Re: Retired escorts - how was your transition?
Post by: Veggiegal on 10 February 2021, 09:49:22 pm
I think we can all say we've been treated like this from a date, regardless of the job. The issue is not with your job, the issue was that he was a dick.

There are many men and women out there who can love their partner and support them regardless of their profession.

I did try to leave this industry and have another business - it was the worst and most financially damaging period of my life. My head was up my ass and I was scrambling to find my purpose. I then returned and started treating this like a real business with a more professional approach. I am happy and stable in what I do. OK, so very unlikely I will be doing this job until retirement age, however, this business allows me to plan and save for other ventures when I no longer want to do this.

As with everything, it all depends on your mindset.
Title: Re: Retired escorts - how was your transition?
Post by: Angel143 on 14 March 2021, 07:29:06 am
The same thing happened to me although, he was married. He was a Surgeon, mid-twenties.  I found out when we went to Spain together that he was married and had a pregnant wife. Of course, some clients would be married that would see us but, you wouldn’t know who is married and who isn’t.

He didn’t know that I knew he was married. When he was asleep, I went through his phone and it told me everything I needed to know. I used him monetary wise until I couldn’t use him anymore. Then, I ghosted him.

A year later, I met this great guy (in my civvy life) but later found out that he goes to working girls and is familiar with this world. He didn’t know that I worked but he told me everything that I needed to know, to know that he would still continue. Listened to everything he had to say then ghosted him. I was upset with myself  because I took a good four-six month break trying to see where our relationship would go.

Even though it’s been almost three years, working and those experiences have made me hate men. I don’t think I have the capacity to willingly trust a man no matter what his intentions may be. I hope one day my opinion of men changes but the more I work, the more I realize that’s never going to happen anytime soon. If I do get married, it might be for status or just because I’m lonely, but for love ——- I’m not sure.

I wanted to quit but, as a student in a very demanding major, I could not find a job that would let me balance out my tentative class schedule. Also, it’s hard to find a job where all my needs could be met, and then some without having any formal training or a degree.

Therefore, I have decided that until I get my licensing, I will be working. For me,  it’s an easier way to not only take care of my expenses but allows me to start paying off my college tuition early. I’m trying to see if I can open a business that could supplement my needs the same way working has so then I won’t have to work anymore. Although, that is now definitely going to take some time since the pandemic has been a train wreck, and  I have drained all of my savings keeping myself afloat during the lockdowns.