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Author Topic: Requests that make you groan (and not in a good way)  (Read 8158 times)

Fallingstar

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Requests that make you groan (and not in a good way)
« on: 13 January 2009, 10:03:36 am »
Hello all

Just as a bit of lighthearted (ish) fun i was wondering what are the things that clients ask you for that make you think 'oh no not again'?

It doesn't even have to be anything really weird or offensive,it can be anything you want!

My personal bugbear is when I'm asked to do a 69,which is a perfectly reasonable request for a gent to make yet it makes my heart sink as i really dont like them! I never do them in my personal life (I'm just a little old prude really)

In fact any advice on excuses i can make up to avoid doing them would be greatfully received ;D
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EmilyJones

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Re: Requests that make you groan (and not in a good way)
« Reply #1 on: 13 January 2009, 10:49:39 am »
This sounds awful and ungrateful, but I really hate turning up at a 2hr booking to hear the guy say, "I just want to spend the whole time pleasing you!" ...because that means I'm going to have to fake 274 orgasms and get my clit half rubbed off, and just spend aages looking at the ceiling and making silly noises. :P

To be more positive... I do really appreciate an hour's booking where the guy knows what he wants, and is very appreciative of the pleasure I give him. Those are lovely ones! And a little bit of oral attention on me is fine, but just not a 2-hour fingering of doom! Lol.

It's part of my new year's resolution (which is mainly to Work More and Be Sensible and Think About My Future) to get better at stopping clients from doing things I don't like in a way that leaves them totally unaware that I've just stopped them from doing something. Without administering any sedatives :P
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Carla

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Re: Requests that make you groan (and not in a good way)
« Reply #2 on: 13 January 2009, 12:41:26 pm »
He he he, agreed!

The "I just want to make you happy" line was very much appreciated when I first started in this business...... but now it makes me pale with dread in case you get one of the guys who, after your first orgasm (be it real or fake) just seem to get spurred on to deliver a series of faster, harder and considerably, ahem.....dryer ones, with a manic look on their face. (Sorry, possibly too much information). Ow ow ow!
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amy

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Re: Requests that make you groan (and not in a good way)
« Reply #3 on: 13 January 2009, 02:17:05 pm »
Agreed. Praying for the inevitable numbness used to get me through these; I once turned up at a two hour booking where the client announced that he was going to give me multiple orgasms - and spent the whole time hammering away whilst interrogating me as to whether this was right? that was better? have you come yet? are you going to come soon? is that nearly it? It was horrendous.

Now when I encounter these clients I point out that I am not a performing seal, and if they want to see a woman orgasm that badly the best thing to do is sit back with a drink and let her get on with it. They seem to understand that OK.

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Little Diamond

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Re: Requests that make you groan (and not in a good way)
« Reply #4 on: 13 January 2009, 10:33:15 pm »
Ow ow ow!!!! I HATE that!!!! I have a client that like to do 30 mins of cunnilingus!!! Blaaaaaaa!!
I am supposed to go "oooo aaaa""!!! god ,dry , dusty husk anyone?
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Lilly1230

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Re: Requests that make you groan (and not in a good way)
« Reply #5 on: 13 January 2009, 11:26:44 pm »
LOL, that's so funny, I'm not alone in hearing those imortal lines with a feeling of dread "I want to please you"! ....If only I had the courage to say "marvellous, I'll get the hoover out whilst you do the ironing and seeing as you're here, can you fix the fence?"

If they really wanted to please they would come dressed as a fireman, have been in the gym for the last six months and have a six pack and rock hard arms, and be willing to let me fall asleep as soon as I'd had an orgasm.... but noooo what they actually want is to make you scream their name, beg for more then refuse to take the money saying it's all been too fabulous, I must pay you.

Gosh aren't I the cynic, tsk tsk...

What I really dislike are the following questions:
what's your real name?
How did you get into this?
Do you enjoy what you do?
Can I bring my brother next time? No that last one's made up, I wouldn't mind because it would be double time.

Lilly xxx
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Little Diamond

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Re: Requests that make you groan (and not in a good way)
« Reply #6 on: 14 January 2009, 12:36:22 am »
Its sooooooooooooooo bad!! I would much rather have the ones that give you an "AA route finder" of  exactly what they want , It makes things so much easier . I have one man that is REALLY convinced I am shocked at how good he is " you didn't expect that did you?" is his favourite line !!!
 Didn't expect what? he had a bad suite on? he always wants a discount ? he's a dick?
 Oh sorry your still here!!! "
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wowzers

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Re: Requests that make you groan (and not in a good way)
« Reply #7 on: 14 January 2009, 01:26:30 am »
haha ha, this is quite funny!...actually i like the guys that say: i just want to please you! i just contentedly lie back and hope they're gonna be awesome...and the ones that arent, i still am smug cuz i dont have to do anything!...if they're scraping me up or rubbing me too hard, i tell them, and if it gets too unbearable i stop them....its difficult when a man wants you to help him in his technique...i mean its totally understandable cuz seeing an escort 'should' be a good way to get better so they can wow the lady(ies) back in their personal life...but the fine line between instruction and embarrassment is just too great...what i dont like is when guys ask me: what do YOU want to do? tell me what i can do for you?...it shoudlnt be such a hard question but for me my mind goes completely blank!  ;D  (what i also hate is when i get texts, asking various questions, and then i realise 2 hours later that i've sent them 2000 texts (slight exaggeration) and used up all my personal time ....arrrggghhh ( just did that tonite!)
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wowzers

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Re: Requests that make you groan (and not in a good way)
« Reply #8 on: 14 January 2009, 01:31:00 am »
ps: as for 69, i dont like that either, and the reason is that its hard to enjoy and its hard to concentrate...its like rubbing your stomach and patting your head....what i tell them, is that i cant concentrate and prefer for us to both alternate in our oral giving...i also tell him i give much better blow jobs that way too! when they hear that they are quite happy to forsake 69's!! xxx
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UrbaneAspects

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Re: Requests that make you groan (and not in a good way)
« Reply #9 on: 14 January 2009, 02:17:21 am »
Quote from: wowzers on 14 January 2009, 01:26:30 am
what i also hate is when i get texts, asking various questions, and then i realise 2 hours later that i've sent them 2000 texts (slight exaggeration) and used up all my personal time ....arrrggghhh ( just did that tonite!)

uh oh. This needs to be dealt with right this second. He was an obvious time waster. Thats why you must insist they call you or give an address by the 3rd text. That isnt arbitrary. (I know I make horrible mistakes sometimes, but I learn from those  ;)

Besides that, I happen to like 69! Maybe because the biological differences  ;)  I cringe at requests for fetishes as its only very few men I will see to doing that with...
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wowzers

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Re: Requests that make you groan (and not in a good way)
« Reply #10 on: 14 January 2009, 02:36:06 am »
so you can suck and be sucked and not lose concentration? well done!  ;D thank you for the advice re texts timewaster thingy, sometimes excessive texting does work tho! but its exhausting and irritating and yes i bow to your wisdom you are probably 85% right on that.... ;D
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loveamber

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Re: Requests that make you groan (and not in a good way)
« Reply #11 on: 14 January 2009, 02:47:43 am »
I agree with the 69 thing, its not that I dont enjoy it, its the fact I cant concerntrate on both things at once, and I often find myself forgetting about him if im enjoying myself, which is not good lol! I dont think ive ever met a woman who really liked 69, but all men seem to love it, I wonder why?! x
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cassie

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Re: Requests that make you groan (and not in a good way)
« Reply #12 on: 14 January 2009, 04:14:13 am »
I agree completely on the 69, find concentrating difficult if he's good and I don't know if it is just me, but I end up with  a sore neck or back from trying to keep in the right position for optimum effect, especially when being on top.

Divided about the want to please you thing, if he is good and also realises that you want a break in between stimulation great, if it's nonstop - arghh.

My most dreaded question so far is "Is there anything I can do to convince you to have intercouse without a condom?"

or What brasize are you? LOL - how many men really know how big a C-cup is? Ever better when the next question is:"That is big right?
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Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the ground in the morning, Satan shudders and says: "Oh shit, she's awake!"

UrbaneAspects

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Re: Requests that make you groan (and not in a good way)
« Reply #13 on: 14 January 2009, 05:59:54 am »
Quote from: cassie on 14 January 2009, 04:14:13 am
My most dreaded question so far is "Is there anything I can do to convince you to have intercouse without a condom?"

3, 3 month interval HIV tests, taken in my presence....or $40 million paid over the course of the next 40 years  ::)

Quote from: cassie on 14 January 2009, 04:14:13 am
or What brasize are you? LOL - how many men really know how big a C-cup is? Ever better when the next question is:"That is big right?

thats as common as, how big's your cock? Sounds like a TW majority of the time. a picture is a thousand words dont need to give measurements
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Fallingstar

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Re: Requests that make you groan (and not in a good way)
« Reply #14 on: 14 January 2009, 09:25:31 am »
I asked a client a the weekend why men like 69 ers and he said that its the visual appeal of being able to see all your ladybits as you administer to his needs! 

I still dont like them though,i might make it my new years resolution to stop doing them.

I work through an agency mainly and i HATE the 'how busy have you been today' question. Men seem to be obsessed with how many clients ive seen that day. Its a no win question as well because if i say they are my first one and they know ive been at my incall place for 6 hours they think im the worlds least popular escort and if i say im fully booked all day they think im the village bike

Also hate it when they ask if i do anal (i get asked a lot,does everyone else have the same problem or is it just something about my bottom? and when i say i dont they go 'thats ok,dont worry about it' as if i need their permission not be be concerned about them feeling bad that i wont let them put their d**k up my behind.

Then theres the follow on question 99% of the time 'why dont you do anal?' My standard reply is to ask jokingly if they would fancy being on the receiving end of that particular activity themselves? They usually go quite pale ;D
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