See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: Relationships whilst escorting?  (Read 111206 times)

catlady85

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 232
Re: Relationships whilst escorting?
« Reply #285 on: 16 April 2016, 11:49:56 am »
Though I don't agree entirely with Ana, it did make me sad to read your post, Miss Jameson.

True, a man whose understanding may raise alarm bells - certainly I question whether the men in my life fetishise my job as a sex worker or not - but there are plenty of people who are able to acknowledge your profession and keep it separate from your job. My last boyfriend was a musician. I wasn't going to start insisting that he works all the gigs he was offered just to earn more money, nor did I insist on being a groupie with him wherever he went; i just knew it was his job and I saw it as a smaller piece in the bigger make up of who he was.

If your job fills you with shame, or at least makes me feel like you want to forget it ever happened when you retire, you may find it useful to question why that is. Certainly, I want to draw a line in the sand when I'm 'done' working, or have moved on, but I'm certainly not embarrassed about my job, nor do I think it says anything integral about my personality or how I view myself.

Cliche but if you don't think you're worthy of love, you can't expect others to think you're worthy of love.

Nova

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 491
Re: Relationships whilst escorting?
« Reply #286 on: 16 April 2016, 12:44:26 pm »

This is the thing  that I struggle with in a way because I can completely understand why someone wouldn't want a serious relationship with me if I was to be honest and say what I do. And it's their right and choice just as it's our right and choice to do what we do. I would love it if someone could understand but I feel like for the majority unless someone was involved somehow within sex industry or very open sexually it would be unlikely....And even then I can imagine complications but who knows I'm sure it's not impossible based on some of these posts as well.

When I was younger I feel as if relationships have effected my decisions too much and I was too naive to realize I needed to think about what I truly want rather than just doing what's convenient and best for the relationship and all to get not that much back in reality. So yeah I just wouldn't even want to be in the position now to feel such emotions for someone most probably narrow minded, who in their own way at whatever type of level view me as their property and to have to admit and have something in the open that they'd just expect me to quit just like that because we're in "love" now.

However times are moving forward and maybe there is someone/people out there for everyone sex worker or not... ;D

It's only unlikely if you have it in your head that your job is something to be ashamed of. Then you'll attract the wrong type of guys.
I've dated several guys who have not had a problem with it at all and there are plenty of posts on here from ladies in relationships where the the fact that they do sex work isn't even an issue. And why should it be? My partner has never been involved in the sex industry and is a pretty monogamous kind of guy and yet he still manages to be fine with my job.
If you're relaxed and groovy about your job, 90% of people you tell will be too.

LillyRose

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 99
Re: Relationships whilst escorting?
« Reply #287 on: 16 April 2016, 02:58:03 pm »

This is the thing  that I struggle with in a way because I can completely understand why someone wouldn't want a serious relationship with me if I was to be honest and say what I do. And it's their right and choice just as it's our right and choice to do what we do. I would love it if someone could understand but I feel like for the majority unless someone was involved somehow within sex industry or very open sexually it would be unlikely....And even then I can imagine complications but who knows I'm sure it's not impossible based on some of these posts as well.

When I was younger I feel as if relationships have effected my decisions too much and I was too naive to realize I needed to think about what I truly want rather than just doing what's convenient and best for the relationship and all to get not that much back in reality. So yeah I just wouldn't even want to be in the position now to feel such emotions for someone most probably narrow minded, who in their own way at whatever type of level view me as their property and to have to admit and have something in the open that they'd just expect me to quit just like that because we're in "love" now.

However times are moving forward and maybe there is someone/people out there for everyone sex worker or not... ;D

It's only unlikely if you have it in your head that your job is something to be ashamed of. Then you'll attract the wrong type of guys.
I've dated several guys who have not had a problem with it at all and there are plenty of posts on here from ladies in relationships where the the fact that they do sex work isn't even an issue. And why should it be? My partner has never been involved in the sex industry and is a pretty monogamous kind of guy and yet he still manages to be fine with my job.
If you're relaxed and groovy about your job, 90% of people you tell will be too.

Yes I do get that impression that lots are in relationship as I can see from many posts :) I'm not ashamed at all. It's just for a variety of reasons I choose not to be open about to anyone at this point. Not everyone is as understanding as you want them to be. You can be proud of many things and a guy can like those things even at first but then start to have an issue with when you're together. I've had things exposed about me before on a different subject just to be spiteful and to control me. Of course I accept not everyone is like that and I do believe there is a type of person for everyone.

On the other hand if someone doesn't accept what job you do whether you're a detective, sex worker or whatever else it's that persons choice even if it seems unreasonable and said person is not right for you.

I haven't dated much since I've been escorting but maybe that will change it's only been a short time. I like men and women though so maybe at the moment I would prefer to be with a woman at this point of time if I was with someone but I don't knw it depends who I meet and develop feeling for.

Teddy Bear

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 470
  • I'm just a girl in the world...
Re: Relationships whilst escorting?
« Reply #288 on: 17 April 2016, 04:20:19 am »
I'm in a monogamous extremely loving relationship with a wonderful man who I've been married to for a good few years now and he is 100% supportive and understanding of my job and that I will quit when I feel the time is right. We met at work when he drove me for one of the many agencies I worked for 4 years ago and he's never paid for it either with me or any other woman. He is my unicorn man and still my driver although now I'm independent and he has never pimped me either in fact I'm always insisting I carry on working until it's no longer necessary. He has his own self employed job and it just works, I don't know how but I'm so thankful that it does!

Men that accept this type of work without prejudice or because it 'turns them on so much' are a rare breed but they do exist.
"Advertising is totally unnecessary. Unless you hope to make money." -Jef I. Richards

Nia.Uk

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 32
Re: Relationships whilst escorting?
« Reply #289 on: 23 April 2016, 12:36:15 am »
Have a partner for 4yrs now and start escorting from the beginning of our relationship.
I have had doubts about doing this job and about being in a relationship.
I never ever believed in this "type of relationship" and sometimes when I feel down I argue with him and tell him that I am not so secure. A bit scared of how my/our future looks like.
He's jealous and suspicious sometimes...but is normal to be like that.
We always make jokes and laughs about my clients but i never talk about sex.
In 4yrs we have had few argues/fights and wanted to split up every time but he never agreed with that. He said he loves me and he can't imagine life without me and I agree with him, we been through a lot together and we love each other so much.
I am working and living in the same place with him. He is my "security" and he do all the websites and he make sure we save up money and don't spend too much so I can stop asap this job.
He is so kind to me... He will never complain if there's no food in the fridge if I am busy.
When  I complain about being sour down there he won't touch me, sometimes for more than a week.
I have days when I want to fu.k but he said he don't want to "hurt me".
I love him so much. I know his family, he know my family. Our relationship is so serious. Soon we'll get married and have lots of kids. Can't wait lol.
Good luck to you girls in finding the right man.
 :-* :-*

Nova

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 491
Re: Relationships whilst escorting?
« Reply #290 on: 23 April 2016, 01:45:56 pm »

He's jealous and suspicious sometimes...but is normal to be like that.


Is it normal? I wouldn't say it is at all!

Shewolf

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1,477
Re: Relationships whilst escorting?
« Reply #291 on: 23 April 2016, 01:50:15 pm »
I think it is because the guy is not a robot. He is a human so sometimes what his partner does will effect him.

Unless he has a kink for what she does...in which case that is completely different.




Nova

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 491
Re: Relationships whilst escorting?
« Reply #292 on: 23 April 2016, 02:22:09 pm »
I think it is because the guy is not a robot. He is a human so sometimes what his partner does will effect him.

Unless he has a kink for what she does...in which case that is completely different.

No, I don't agree that the options are: 1. The guy is a robot. 2. The guy is jealous and suspicious. 3. The guy is turned on by her job.
The guys I have dated recognised that this is just a job and didn't get either jealous or turned on by it. They were not robots either, they really cared for me.
« Last Edit: 24 April 2016, 02:38:35 pm by Nova »

Shewolf

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1,477
Re: Relationships whilst escorting?
« Reply #293 on: 23 April 2016, 04:35:34 pm »
OK, fair enough, I just can't imagine meeting a man like that. Most men I have known in my life would freak and tell where to go straight away. I get that they are all different though.

Nova

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 491
Re: Relationships whilst escorting?
« Reply #294 on: 23 April 2016, 05:29:58 pm »
Aw Shewolf, I'm really sorry to hear that. I get that it's really easy to assume all guys are like the ones you've encountered and I am guilty at times of that too. I assume that because everyone has been fine with my job that all guys are like that. It's awful to think there are guys out there who would try and hold that over you or behave disrespectfully to you just because you were/are a sex worker.

meetingdiversity

  • Guest
Re: Relationships whilst escorting?
« Reply #295 on: 23 April 2016, 06:23:37 pm »
It has got to the point now that I'm not bothered about dating any clients. The last two were a nightmare in the end. From my experience they seem to be ok with at the beginning until.... Then problems.  Not worth my loss of income with all the wasted time for nothing.

Lushblossom

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 2,716
Re: Relationships whilst escorting?
« Reply #296 on: 24 April 2016, 09:27:35 am »
I don't want a relationship at all but over the years have told a couple of men - and they made a fuss.  We weren't dating but they still objected.  They don't bother talking to me much now perhaps they don't see me as a normal human being, or i am somebody who needs to 'sort their life out'.

I have also mentioned the job to men online and they just vanish.

I can only imagine about 5 per cent of the male population is fine with it!

Like I say I don't want a relationship at all anyway.  Always best to never mention it to others in my opinion apart from the very infrequent female friend.

Nia.Uk

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 32
Re: Relationships whilst escorting?
« Reply #297 on: 24 April 2016, 09:39:03 pm »

He's jealous and suspicious sometimes...but is normal to be like that.


Is it normal? I wouldn't say it is at all!
This is my point of view.
His suspicions starts a while back when one of my friends in this job ran away with a client and she had a partner. ???
And jealous ? because we live together and I am working in the same flat and sometimes he can hear some noises or what people are saying when coming inside the flat.
To be honest, I think I was more upset if he wasn't jealous. (Btw, very rare happen to show that feeling)


Riverprice

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 190
  • unique and petitie
    • Adult work profile
Re: Relationships whilst escorting?
« Reply #298 on: 25 April 2016, 10:18:53 am »
my fella is fine with it an theres nothing weird about that! we aren't conventional people i suppose, we go to sex parties and fetish clubs etc. The only thing he worries about is my safety and to not tire myself out! im very lucky! x
xxxxxx

Nova

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 491
Re: Relationships whilst escorting?
« Reply #299 on: 25 April 2016, 02:22:54 pm »

I can only imagine about 5 per cent of the male population is fine with it!


Personally, I can imagine that 95% of the male population is fine with it. That doesn't mean either of our imaginings is based in reality!