SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Sexy_Kitty on 18 August 2014, 03:41:41 am
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I'm at my wits end with this. I'm on the very small side and I'm fine with clients who are above average, but I have recently gotten quite a few clients who are VERY large. I expressed to them that they needed to be gentle with me and they were respectful, but it wears me out when I have a client like that and cuts down on how many people I can see, besides making me sore and numb down there. I'm literally just lying there thinking "OK once this song ends I can ask for a break-- can't he fucking come??" as I'm so uncomfortable. I've been to the doctor and have been checked out so I don't have anything, I use non-latex condoms and go through more lube than anyone would think possible to use, it's just my size and nothing can be done.
I've had a few clients recently that were so large I just couldn't even do it as I was worried they were literally going to tear me apart, and I told them I could only give a BJ. They didn't complain but I could tell they were not pleased so had to give them some money back as I felt like it wasn't really fair and I don't want them to shit talk me online. But I don't want to have that awkward convo and possibly run into a guy who is going to demand his money back, nor do I want to be giving people money back, I want to charge my fee-- so I'm thinking perhaps it's something that I should mention in my profile.
Have any of you put something like this in your profile? I'm trying to think of the best way to phrase it.
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Firstly Kitty, it doesnt matter what anyone else puts on their profile.
If you dont want to see WE guys its up to you.
The way I see it you would have to put a physical size rather than "WE" as everyones definition of "BIG" is different. It also depends on girth too so that would have to be mentioned. I once had a guy who was short in the length department but his bellend was the size of a cricket ball. I really didnt think I would be able to take it but it was ok. Length is another story though.
Women differ greatly in the length of their channel so some will be able to take 12" while others will only be able to take six. Its up to you what you accept and put on your profile. No one elses profile matters.
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I just ask them. Ok it sounds crazy but when it comes to BIG guys I noticed either they mention it themselves or, if they ask on the phone if I do anal etc, I nicely ask them and if they say they are very big I just say no.
I'm not sure whether it's about them being big or some of them actually being big and having no bloody idea how to use it! I had a guy twice last week, not very long but very thick. It was fine but I also really like him.
Now the problem being he wrote me a lovely field report but hinted at his size and how great I was about it I'm worried I'll now start getting too many requests from HUGE guys.
I may consider LadyLust's idea of putting something on my profile to simply keep huge cocks away;))))
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I'm very tight downstairs too and have had a few well endowed guys come back. In the end, I just said to them straight ' your a lovely guy, but you are too big for me, it hurts too much'
It's not being nasty, but my truthful and I'm sure they' ve heard it before.
They can go see someone else, there are always replacements who are less stressful bookings.
Yes it does hurt sometimes, but even worse would be the condom breaking, which I worry about more, my pussy going dry plus over stretched condom equals problems!! It's not worth the panic in my mind. X
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I see large clients but if you feel sore then if was me would put it politely. As being shown on profile that I don't see big men looks discriminating and surly is bound to even put others off even not large ones. I don't find large ones more hard work escorting is not going to be easy bookings all the time.
The two hour booking this morning with a bigger gent went easy. Larger size doesn't mean if difficult more like the attitude of clients.
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For me its not size that is an issue its angle,position and how they go at it.I always use plenty of lube and if a position is uncomfortable I speak up and say so.Smaller cocks can also hurt if the guy catches you wrong or is going at it too hard.
Nothing wrong tho with saying what size you are comfortable or making it clear you won't see anyone very large.
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For me its not size that is an issue its angle,position and how they go at it.I always use plenty of lube and if a position is uncomfortable I speak up and say so.Smaller cocks can also hurt if the guy catches you wrong or is going at it too hard.
Nothing wrong tho with saying what size you are comfortable or making it clear you won't see anyone very large.
Good to know I'm not the only one who thinks it's also about how they use it.
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Omg i'm so glad I'm not alone here. I'm the exact same and when I see that the client has a massive penis my heart just drops where as when they're average/below average sized i'm almost feeling ecstatic lol.
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Just a shit in the dark here but could the fact be that you get anxious when you see a large penis and that in turn makes you naturally clench and get tighter and that makes you in turn even more anxious?
Either way if it isaffecting your work and your health I would but something in your faqs and ask them when they call. Peice of mind is much better for you
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Yes, the angles are a big factor in this. I find the best position is missionary with your legs in front, not over the shoulders thing which goes really deep. Me on top is ok so I can control the motions.
I've had one in almost 4 years who I couldn't handle. 11 or 12 ins I'd say (half an arm(ish) lol. He was pounding me doggy so I had to stop as I was feeling faint and he moaned a bit saying I'm supposed to be providing services so I told him I was uncomfortable and we finished with me on top. Your clients obviously knew the problem but I didn't tell this one why he's blocked (my prerogative) and he still pesters me 2 years later so like LucyA did maybe I should've explained why as he's now text that I must be racist ::) but I would've expected him to have moved on by now!
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I see large clients but if you feel sore then if was me would put it politely. As being shown on profile that I don't see big men looks discriminating and surly is bound to even put others off even not large ones. I don't find large ones more hard work escorting is not going to be easy bookings all the time.
The two hour booking this morning with a bigger gent went easy. Larger size doesn't mean if difficult more like the attitude of clients.
That's nice that you can handle it but not everyone is made the same. My clients are constantly commenting on how small I am and so does my gyno, so I know I'm unusually small. I had a guy who was very large two weeks ago and even though he was being gentle and careful he bruised my cervix so badly that I had to go see a doctor and was put on pain meds and couldn't work for 3 days. Since then I have been refusing to have intercourse with clients who are very large but I feel like that is hurting my business and not really fair to them if they are specifically paying for penetration. It has nothing to do with discriminating against someone, I'm not refusing to see men with huge cocks because it's more work or I don't like them, it's because I physically can't handle them and yes escorting is hard, but you shouldn't be in pain and unable to walk after a long booking with someone because they've bruised you so much.
I agree Lady_Lust, if I put it on there it needs to be specific but I guess I'm not familiar enough with penis length (and completely agree it's length plus girth, I had a guy who was not super long but very wide last night and it was quite painful) to know what I can and cannot handle?
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I see large clients but if you feel sore then if was me would put it politely. As being shown on profile that I don't see big men looks discriminating and surly is bound to even put others off even not large ones. I don't find large ones more hard work escorting is not going to be easy bookings all the time.
The two hour booking this morning with a bigger gent went easy. Larger size doesn't mean if difficult more like the attitude of clients.
That's nice that you can handle it but not everyone is made the same. My clients are constantly commenting on how small I am and so does my gyno, so I know I'm unusually small. I had a guy who was very large two weeks ago and even though he was being gentle and careful he bruised my cervix so badly that I had to go see a doctor and was put on pain meds and couldn't work for 3 days. Since then I have been refusing to have intercourse with clients who are very large but I feel like that is hurting my business and not really fair to them if they are specifically paying for penetration. It has nothing to do with discriminating against someone, I'm not refusing to see men with huge cocks because it's more work or I don't like them, it's because I physically can't handle them and yes escorting is hard, but you shouldn't be in pain and unable to walk after a long booking with someone because they've bruised you so much.
I agree Lady_Lust, if I put it on there it needs to be specific but I guess I'm not familiar enough with penis length (and completely agree it's length plus girth, I had a guy who was not super long but very wide last night and it was quite painful) to know what I can and cannot handle?
After reading that I take back what I said about being relaxed...ouch.
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I see large clients but if you feel sore then if was me would put it politely. As being shown on profile that I don't see big men looks discriminating and surly is bound to even put others off even not large ones. I don't find large ones more hard work escorting is not going to be easy bookings all the time.
The two hour booking this morning with a bigger gent went easy. Larger size doesn't mean if difficult more like the attitude of clients.
That's nice that you can handle it but not everyone is made the same. My clients are constantly commenting on how small I am and so does my gyno, so I know I'm unusually small. I had a guy who was very large two weeks ago and even though he was being gentle and careful he bruised my cervix so badly that I had to go see a doctor and was put on pain meds and couldn't work for 3 days. Since then I have been refusing to have intercourse with clients who are very large but I feel like that is hurting my business and not really fair to them if they are specifically paying for penetration. It has nothing to do with discriminating against someone, I'm not refusing to see men with huge cocks because it's more work or I don't like them, it's because I physically can't handle them and yes escorting is hard, but you shouldn't be in pain and unable to walk after a long booking with someone because they've bruised you so much.
I agree Lady_Lust, if I put it on there it needs to be specific but I guess I'm not familiar enough with penis length (and completely agree it's length plus girth, I had a guy who was not super long but very wide last night and it was quite painful) to know what I can and cannot handle?
I really understand your pain and I find the idea of discrimination just ridiculous. I'm tall etc but tiny inside. Really tiny. Again, I just ask them. And I think there's nothing wrong with it. Maybe set up a FAQ? Something that doesn't sound too "serious" so it doesn't put clients off but something that clearly alludes/implies that you won't have anything bigger than xxx inches.... I think a FAQ might be better than announcing it in the very first line of your profile.
And good luck;)))
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Remember we as escorts might not see but clients will see discrimination without explanation.
'' The unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people'' That is how discrimination defines. So of course some parts of society will see it like this.
I know what definitions means thank you.
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It's not discriminating if the OPs refusing to do something she would otherwise be fine with but unfortunately can't physically do, is it?
She's not turning away 'categories' of people, just stating that she can't physically have penetrative vaginal sex with somebody whose penis is over X size because it won't fit inside her without causing pain or injury. I don't do OWO, so the people who want it can see that for themselves in my ads and book somebody else - that isn't discriminating, it's protecting myself.
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Remember we as escorts might not see but clients will see discrimination without explanation.
'' The unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people'' That is how discrimination defines. So of course some parts of society will see it like this.
I know what definitions means thank you.
MD, she offers explanation: your big penis doesn't fit my vagina.
The discrimination issue remains vague. Should I understand that clients who like small boobs/skinny brunettes discriminate against me?
Come on!
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Remember we as escorts might not see but clients will see discrimination without explanation.
'' The unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people'' That is how discrimination defines. So of course some parts of society will see it like this.
I know what definitions means thank you.
OK, if you know definitions so well then please explain to me how I am being unjust by refusing to see someone who is going to physically hurt me by bruising an internal organ or rip my vagina canal or, at the very least, cause me severe pain?
I personally think that I am giving men with large penises a MUCH better treatment by explaining to them that I will not be able to give them rigorous penetration/penetration for a long period of time or in some cases penetration at all before they make a booking, I'm not just looking to get money out of whoever I can and fuck it if they get a good service or not. Sorry but you don't seem to have the vaguest idea of what discrimination means! Going by your definition refusing to have bareback sex with someone who has HIV would be considered discrimination! Refusing to have sex with someone who's black or who's Asian, yes, that's discrimination because you are refusing to see them based on the color of their skin-- refusing to see someone because they are going to hurt you physically is not!
And to be honest, 90% of my clients are generally nice guys who don't want to hurt me, I rarely get opposition from someone when I say "sorry that's hurting me, can we do another position" or "babe can we take a little break and I'll put you in my mouth? I'm getting a little sore" they just say of course and usually end up apologizing to me for being too rough or whatever, so I think most men would prefer to have a warning before hand as they aren't psychopaths looking to hurt women.
@CharlotteParis, yes what I put up after my last booking with a large man was a FAQ saying that if a client was very large they should contact me before a booking, if they're fine with just receiving oral and a HJ then I'm fine seeing them, I just can't do penetration. I'm just wondering if there should be something in my profile since I'm not sure if all men read the FAQs?
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OK, if you know definitions so well then please explain to me how I am being unjust by refusing to see someone who is going to physically hurt me by bruising an internal organ or rip my vagina canal or, at the very least, cause me severe pain?
I personally think that I am giving men with large penises a MUCH better treatment by explaining to them that I will not be able to give them rigorous penetration/penetration for a long period of time or in some cases penetration at all before they make a booking, I'm not just looking to get money out of whoever I can and fuck it if they get a good service or not. Sorry but you don't seem to have the vaguest idea of what discrimination means! Going by your definition refusing to have bareback sex with someone who has HIV would be considered discrimination! Refusing to have sex with someone who's black or who's Asian, yes, that's discrimination because you are refusing to see them based on the color of their skin-- refusing to see someone because they are going to hurt you physically is not!
@CharlotteParis, yes what I put up after my last booking with a large man was a FAQ saying that if a client was very large they should contact me before a booking, if they're fine with just receiving oral and a HJ then I'm fine seeing them, I just can't do penetration. I'm just wondering if there should be something in my profile since I'm not sure if all men read the FAQs?
Yes you are. You make sure they won't be disappointed and won't waste their time. Which is very professional of you.
I don't know. Honestly no idea. I know they don't necessarily read all profile. Any other lady could help?
Oh wait, how about writing about it in your blog? And make sure it is the very first FAQ, that would be good;)
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Black, white, green, I don't care if you penis is too big, I will stop the booking. Brings back memories of a guy who had a fist for a penis. Oh God, never again, even sucking it was a chore! Then he tried to put it in me!!! :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( I think, he only got like 2 inches in, and I could tell this thing is NOT going to fit inside! So I told him, " I am sorry but this isn't going to work, it hurts really bad I can't do this!" Either offer a blowie or hand job, or stop the booking and refund. I couldn't walk properly for 3 days!!! And he was in for like maybe 2 minutes or less lol
There is no point in injuring yourself, that it will cause you to take a day off. I don't have a va-jay-jay obviously do anal. I think good lube is important and relaxing. I think girth is the thing you have to worry about. So find out what girth you can take and can't, toy can help there. Just put "I won't have sexual intercourse with anyone with a girth size over 6.5 inches as it painful".
But the OP's original post is something I do worry about...
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If it were me I would think about putting it on my profile and I think if possible mention a size as suggested because I can imagine twats phoning you or emailing you saying I'm 7 inch can you handle that babe or something whereas if you put a size the genuine ones won't need to discuss it beforehand so you won't have to keep trying to suss out the good from the bad as I can imagine the weirdos having a field day with it.
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I've had very painful sex with bigger clients and even though used a lot of lube and doggy style to start I ended up feeling like I was being tortured certainly not turned on.
Had emails from guys stating how big they are and I've replied by saying im not going to be able to accommodate you. why waste each others time.
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Oh and I don't think it's discrimination at all. It maybe would be if your profile said guys under 5 inches 100 hour but any above it's 150 lol but I doubt there are any rules on it especially if it was on your profile rather than at the booking stage.