Hi Bellebella
I hope you don't mind me saying, but my first instinct on reading your email was "he's long since guessed, if he didn't already know from the very beginning".
In return for "looking the other way" he's living in financial security and can see other women/working girls without feeling guilty. He may always feel as though he has the upper hand in the relationship.
Because you feel guilty for lying to him, you're tolerating behaviour you wouldn't otherwise tolerate - such as his spending the weekend at a brothel and his lack of financial contribution.
I'm wondering if you also suspect that he already knows, hence not bringing up his weekend brothel trip with him for fear of what he may respond with regarding your own secret activities.
I don't know your exact circumstances, only what I've read in your post, but it does sound as though someone so close to you would be hard pushed to figure out what you're up to?
For example, your numerous working girl friends and plentiful cash supply (compared to when you had a "regular" job) even though you don't appear to go to work on a regular basis. Your disappearing for short periods in your best clothes, make up/leaving with a bag containing your best clothes, make up and undies. Does he ask where your going, or simply appear not to notice?
When I first started, I didn't tell my then boyfriend. In retrospect, it was so painfully obvious what I was up to. I disappeared off to London for my agency "interview" and reappeared a few hours later with a purse full of cash. I later discovered that he was all ready to challenge me about what I'd been up to the second I got home but stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of the ten crisp ?50's (ahh if only it was always that well paid lol).
I confessed to him a couple of days later that I wanted to escort and his response was to sit in silence for a few minutes then offer me a cup of tea!? Not the response I was expecting!
He later said that he wouldn't stand in my way if that was what I wanted to do so long as I never mentioned it to him and kept it an absolute secret from all our/my friends. So he was happy to date a whore, reap the benefits, so long as he could bury his head in the sand about exactly how I was earning my cash.
He was perfectly happy to help himself to my cash, continue not to work and generally treat me worse than previously. And because I felt guilty, I let him. Yep, the guy was a total bum - more fool me.
I could of course be
completely wrong about my interpretation of your situation, but I think it's worth considering.
All the best, I really hope you find a way to resolve this.
Spangle xx