SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Gypsy on 23 October 2018, 11:41:22 am
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I know some of you ladies do loads of dinner dates but no one ever asks me for these so I removed them from my profile. But I did one last week with someone I've already met. It was 3 hours which is nice for the money, but he is just so, so quiet. I already knew the booking would drag because of this but it was actually worse than I thought. I'm a chatty person by nature, but I just felt completely zapped. No matter what I said I just couldn't get a conversation going.
I have quite a few regs who I wouldn't say are over the top chatty, but at least I can have a converstion with them.
Any tips on how to make the time go faster for any future bookings or with anyone similar? Nothing I tried worked! :FF
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I feel for you! Been there! I'll often look around, look for triggers and make appropriate (and inappropriate) comments and if that doesn't spark something off, ask for advice about something I'll make up. Failing that, feign interest about something they do or like. I feel it would sometimes be easier to perform a tooth extraction without anaesthetic than get a conversation out of some guys. On the flip side, I've been out with clients who shovel out so much BS that I feel like ramming my fillet steak down their throat. I like fillet steak too much though.
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I only do 1-hour bookings with new people, so for me to do dinners I have previously seen them. I give them some random explanation about not everyone gets along with everyone, and to be stuck with someone for a long period of time wouldn't be enjoyable by either person. I also explain that if I have time there is the possibility of extending the time.
Then if they are dull as dishwater during the first meeting, I will see them again, but never for more than one hour.
I used to have it listed, but generally, those contacting me were timewasters. Now, these bookings come from previously seen clients because they are around for a few days and getting tired of eating alone.
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Dull clients are an occupational hazard. I love going out to eat so much, that I seldom say no to a dinner date. I find good food, good wine and discovering new places an adequate distraction.
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Here's a thought... how about investing in a pair of those battery powered in-ear bluetooth stereo ear buds? So while he is cooing about the latest addition to his rare coin collection, you can gently sway to the dulcet tones of Barry White... nodding once in a while.
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Yes, we have all been there before.
The quiet ones are difficult, usually they tend to be very shy.
The boring ones are really a nightmare and time seems to stop still!
The loud bossy ones are a total embarrassment and refuse to meet with them again; dinner date or no dinner date!
Then there are those who are just lovely and are fantastic company!!
It is the luck of the draw to be honest.
If you had seen him before then a shorter booking without dinner may have been advisable.
There are the weird quiet ones and the shy, quiet ones.
It is difficult if you are chatty in the company of someone who is not. I suppose we have to be a bit sympathetic and patient.
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Here's a thought... how about investing in a pair of those battery powered in-ear bluetooth stereo ear buds? So while he is cooing about the latest addition to his rare coin collection, you can gently sway to the dulcet tones of Barry White... nodding once in a while.
I would find that extremely unprofessional. Any review I wrote would reflect on this in an extremely negative way, and following this advice could very quickly kill an escorts job. Crap like this only makes it harder for the rest of us and adds to the misconceptions that surround us.
I really hope that this post was supposed to be a joke.
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I would find that extremely unprofessional. Any review I wrote would reflect on this in an extremely negative way, and following this advice could very quickly kill an escorts job. Crap like this only makes it harder for the rest of us and adds to the misconceptions that surround us.
I really hope that this post was supposed to be a joke.
Think Kim was joking but cannot speak for her of course.
In this line of work we have to have a sense of humour whilst being professional.
I do think guys who are quiet and shy have it in their DNA so we have to be sympathetic. (not just this line of work but life in general)
Rude and obnoxious guys know what they are doing (a bit off topic here) and repeat bookings are to be avoided.
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Think Kim was joking but cannot speak for her of course.
In this line of work we have to have a sense of humour whilst being professional.
I do think guys who are quiet and shy have it in their DNA so we have to be sympathetic. (not just this line of work but life in general)
Rude and obnoxious guys know what they are doing (a bit off topic here) and repeat bookings are to be avoided.
Yes, I took it as a joke :) Ellie's right - a sense of humour doesn't harm.
The booking wasn't unpleasant by any means - just boring. I knew what he was going to be like because I've seen him before. I just wondered whether there was anything that I hadn't tried to make the time go faster :)
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Yes, I took it as a joke :) Ellie's right - a sense of humour doesn't harm.
The booking wasn't unpleasant by any means - just boring. I knew what he was going to be like because I've seen him before. I just wondered whether there was anything that I hadn't tried to make the time go faster :)
Remind yourself you are being paid a great rate for sitting with someone?
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Remind yourself you are being paid a great rate for sitting with someone?
^^ This is what I do! Plus I make sure I enjoy the food ;D
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Think Kim was joking but cannot speak for her of course.
In this line of work we have to have a sense of humour whilst being professional.
I do think guys who are quiet and shy have it in their DNA so we have to be sympathetic. (not just this line of work but life in general)
Rude and obnoxious guys know what they are doing (a bit off topic here) and repeat bookings are to be avoided.
Yes, it was joke. :)
I completely agree with needing to be sympathetic. I've been out with some lovely guys who are socially inept for some reason or other. If I can make them feel comfortable, then it makes my job worthwhile and satisfying.
Some of my comments do appear heartless at times but deep down, I am a big softy. I cried at the end of Toy Story 3! Making a joke about things is just catharsis.
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Remind yourself you are being paid a great rate for sitting with someone?
Yes, this is why I took the booking in the first place ;D
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I do many of these bookings, and used to see someone of this description- terribly shy. To begin, I would feel a little awkward and thought I had to fill the silence. After time, I realised that maybe he was happy with sitting in comfortable silence some of the time.
I think if you aren't shy yourself, which I bet most of us aren't given our jobs, it's difficult to know the best way to be. Do we make up for their lack of chat with doing up on our chat? Or do we match their level of chat by simmering down?
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I do a fair few dinner/drinks dates, but that's because I don't charge unless it doesn't have private time after. If they're quiet I role with that, I'm not going to stress myself to make conversation, I may make the odd comment, if they engage, great, but if not... I refuse to carry it all on myself. There is a bit of tit for tat really.
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It's excruciating when they are like this, I rarely do dinner with clients but it's sort of the same in a booking when you get a quiet one. I try as hard as I can to come up with conversation they might react well to and say something but then I get to the point when I think, OK they just don't want talking to and are obviously happy to just be in my company so stop trying. At least in a dinner date you are eating so have a reason not to talk!
How about actually asking him - say something like, I feel like I'm doing all the talking here, what would you like to talk about? (don't forget to ask an open question so he can't just say no!
Hopefully he will tell you or say something like, it's OK, I like hearing you talk!
We often complain men are lousy listeners so maybe try and think right, I can talk all I want on a subject I like talking about!
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Sometimes I like to know why they are so quiet - some open up and some don't.
The talkative and boring ones can be horrendous.
You can say something to them and they never listen and am sure they pretend to be deaf.
I have had 2 boring f*****s this week and I swear I just despair.
But lots of interesting ones too with an interesting life story.
You never know what they are really going to be like until you are face to face.
We get paid well, so best not to groan too much.
It is not like we have to spend 40 hours working with them, or even worse being married to them!!!