SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Rosenrot on 28 July 2019, 10:05:01 pm
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Hello,
Just sitting here not exactly knowing what to think.
Saw the punter today, arrived on time, paid for 1.5hours. Someone with impeccable feedback. Felt weird at the first sight, he had strange unmoving eyes fixated on me. He wouldn’t really talk much, I’m normally quite humorous because I get nervous and this helps me to diffuse the tension I feel when meeting someone new.
Came 20 minutes into a 1.5 hour meeting and the rest of the time (around 10-15minutes) he spends watching tv and not really doing anything. I asked if he wants to go again, cock not responsive to play. I began playing with myself instead and he again just stared at me without any emotion showing. Gave up a few minutes later, feeling stupid and the conversation was awkward. Kind of forced. I get uncomfortable if someone doesn’t return my attempts to keep things light hearted and playful, all was met with a half smile. No second pop since he didn’t get it up.
Eventually I remarked that it’s a little awkward and whether he wants to leave the meeting earlier. I refunded him for the time we didn’t spend and actually asked if there was anything I said or did and if so I didn’t mean it. He claimed nothing wrong and “he’s not in the mood”. Walked out, money settled and that was it.
Quite pissed off, especially when having had a no show as well on the same day, quite paranoid I’ve done something to turn him off. Have you ever had a situation like that? Did he later tell you what’s up? I’m getting quite paranoid I’ve done something that I’m not aware of... :FF :-\
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Hello,
Just sitting here not exactly knowing what to think.
Saw the punter today, arrived on time, paid for 1.5hours. Someone with impeccable feedback. Felt weird at the first sight, he had strange unmoving eyes fixated on me. He wouldn’t really talk much, I’m normally quite humorous because I get nervous and this helps me to diffuse the tension I feel when meeting someone new.
Came 20 minutes into a 1.5 hour meeting and the rest of the time (around 10-15minutes) he spends watching tv and not really doing anything. I asked if he wants to go again, cock not responsive to play. I began playing with myself instead and he again just stared at me without any emotion showing. Gave up a few minutes later, feeling stupid and the conversation was awkward. Kind of forced. I get uncomfortable if someone doesn’t return my attempts to keep things light hearted and playful, all was met with a half smile. No second pop since he didn’t get it up.
Eventually I remarked that it’s a little awkward and whether he wants to leave the meeting earlier. I refunded him for the time we didn’t spend and actually asked if there was anything I said or did and if so I didn’t mean it. He claimed nothing wrong and “he’s not in the mood”. Walked out, money settled and that was it.
Quite pissed off, especially when having had a no show as well on the same day, quite paranoid I’ve done something to turn him off. Have you ever had a situation like that? Did he later tell you what’s up? I’m getting quite paranoid I’ve done something that I’m not aware of... :FF :-\
If it was me I wouldn’t have refunded, especially if you were being friendly and offering round 2 but he wasn’t being responsive at all. I’ve never had any experiences like that, but it sounds so awkward and horrible :(
Did he suggest putting the tv on?
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Had a similar client experience a while back. He arrived. Minimal small talk. Bit awkward and quiet. Asked him if he wanted to take his shirt off while I was feeling him up asked if he wanted to lie down? To which he sat up against the wall but at least on the bed, tried everything I could think off to get the ol’ juices flowing. Next to no response or warmth from him. :( just figured we’d go for it and I’d give minimal effort in return and just get it over with as quick as possible. Think this was only an hour booking though.
In the end he finished with some very awkward hand relief and then he sat there with a (I can’t even describe the expression tbh) on his face.
I thought maybe he was embarrassed about finishing so quickly??! So I said to comfort him, we still have plenty of time left don’t worry we are allowed to ‘go’ again ;)
To which he said I think I’ll leave it actually, and he quickly got up and dressed. He didn’t say a word. So like you I asked if I had said or done something wrong (never would normally care but he had a air of sad about him that made me feel SO BAD and I panicked that I’d actually done something wrong ??)
I’ve heard about the cum guilt some men get but had never knowingly experienced it until that client. But boy was he guilty. Realise now that it had nothing to do with me. But in the moment and in the awkwardness of it all I think it’s easy to direct it inwardly towards ourselves when it could and would have been the same with anyone else, and anytime. It’s him. It’s his guilt and his awkwardness. Not you. Not your service. Not us.
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If it was me I wouldn’t have refunded, especially if you were being friendly and offering round 2 but he wasn’t being responsive at all. I’ve never had any experiences like that, but it sounds so awkward and horrible :(
Did he suggest putting the tv on?
No, the TV was always on, I always put it on so if the convo runs dry at least there’s no radio silence. I have refunded just in case he ever walks around talking shit how I ripped off or anything similar. Never seen that before and quite paranoid I’ve done something :/
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I would;t have refunded a dime. You did your job like a pro and he was akward as hell. You tried to be nice, put him at ease, he thought the TV was more interesting that you. Total weirdo.If a client tells me he wants to spend half the session watching TV, that's fine, but I'm still charging him because I'm a sex worker, not a charity. I don't have an ad on aw so that creeps can come and watch telly with me for free.
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I don't have an ad on aw so that creeps can come and watch telly with me for free.
Not for free obvs but I have a client who finishes in the first 5/10 mins always and then we do genuinely lay and watch tv for the rest of the time, making sarcy comments and laughing at the people on there. He joked once we should be on gogglebox. Lol! Id watch the SW episode special of it for sure!
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Don't worry about it. These are the hardest bookings, we all have them & unfortunately, he probably will not be the last client you get like this. In that situation I would have offered him a nice hot shower and asked if he wanted me to wash his back or asked him if he wanted a tea or coffee then engaged in small talk bringing it around from sexual to normal (works well if they have cum guilt ) I understand why you did what you did but I don't think I would have offered him his money back unless he was creeping me out so bad I wanted him gone quickly lol I remember offering a client a facial in a similar situation, I cleansed & toned put on a face pack, covered him up, put the music low, lights dimmed and left him for 15 minutes to recover. He actually thanked me for it, I felt a bit bad at the time but short of throwing him out I really had run out of ideas. Sometimes they just need some head space x
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Not for free obvs but I have a client who finishes in the first 5/10 mins always and then we do genuinely lay and watch tv for the rest of the time, making sarcy comments and laughing at the people on there. He joked once we should be on gogglebox. Lol! Id watch the SW episode special of it for sure!
But you're not charging him for a 5/10 min session, I'm guessing he's paying for a full booking. So If he wants to spend the next 40 minutes watching TV with you because that makes him happy hey ho ;D Problem is if he demanded back his money for the 40 min.
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The reason I refunded an apportioned fee is because I’ve had a situation where I turned up 5-10mins late, the punter paid the full amount with no peep and then later attacked me for “ripping him off”. I don’t want that kind of shit again.
I know. Never had that before! I’m considered a “popular” escort and most meets are very pleasant, with many coming back to see me. Which pisses me off even more because there are lots of guys who wanted to book and instead I proceeded with that weirdo who booked before the other offers.
What’s bizarre is his feedback: “he was fun and laughed at my silly jokes” ???
So one obnoxious no show (got angry he doesn’t get a time and purposely flakes once I managed to get him the time) and a weirdo. And it’s a fucking tour! :'(
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But you're not charging him for a 5/10 min session, I'm guessing he's paying for a full booking. So If he wants to spend the next 40 minutes watching TV with you because that makes him happy hey ho ;D Problem is if he demanded back his money for the 40 min.
Oh gosh no he pays for the full time. An hour or more whatever he’s feeling. Think having the company is something he enjoys as much as the relief to start.
But if anyone ever ‘demanded’ money back after arriving I’d never again accept a booking from them. And I’d hope they’d give off that vibe during or before at least?? fortunately never had clients demand money back or partial refunds. (Touch wood).
I’d hope I’d stand my ground, and refuse, whether they’d spent the full time or not.
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Clients talk and discuss every aspect of bookings.
I don’t want to ever give the impression that if they even asked politely for a partial refund that id agree and give money back.
If they book an hour, and finish in half hour. I’m not paying them for finishing early. That’s not the direction the cash flows thanks very much, hahah.
And I don’t want clients coming to me hoping to get money back bc they’ve heard from others that I do that/agree to that. :(
If I had any piece of advice to give it’s to never do or agree to something you wouldn’t do with every new client in future. If a previous client had mentioned this or that about your service or how you work, new clients may well be expecting it, it’s unlikely they’ll mention it before booking, and there will be the awkwardness when they arrive...expecting money back, or for you to take out your month old piercings (my experience!). ugh
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The reason I refunded an apportioned fee is because I’ve had a situation where I turned up 5-10mins late, the punter paid the full amount with no peep and then later attacked me for “ripping him off”. I don’t want that kind of shit again.
That's perfectly understandable rosenrot, if a client who had behaved like a total weirdo asked me for money back and I was by myself and afraid of him getting violent I may have done that too. Choosing between a) loosing 100 pounds and b) a possible violent "scene" with a mad man I will go for "a".
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You have not done anything wrong and should have not given him any money back.
It has been discussed previously, that when some clients cum they change personality from becoming super horny before the deed and completely weird and in a rush to get out asap after he explodes his lot.
This is so common.
If he is weird and stares a lot and there is no conversation beforehand and freaky, then I would end the booking and offer a partial refund.
I often find the weird ones are addicted to porn and therefore think of you as an "object" and not a person!
Block him and move on.
There are plenty of normal ones out there!
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I very much doubt it was you. I have a reg that is a really lovely man but once he’s cum he literally runs to the bathroom, showers, gets dressed and leaves without a word. He then txts to say thankyou, he just gets shy. Iv also had clients who have had a shit day but honoured booking even though they’re stressed out their head. Who knows what was up with him or how his day was but if you felt that giving him a partial refund was the right thing to do at the time then that’s what matters (even if I’m another vote for never) ;D
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was it an AW client with feedback?
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Hello,
Just sitting here not exactly knowing what to think.
Saw the punter today, arrived on time, paid for 1.5hours. Someone with impeccable feedback. Felt weird at the first sight, he had strange unmoving eyes fixated on me. He wouldn’t really talk much, I’m normally quite humorous because I get nervous and this helps me to diffuse the tension I feel when meeting someone new.
Came 20 minutes into a 1.5 hour meeting and the rest of the time (around 10-15minutes) he spends watching tv and not really doing anything. I asked if he wants to go again, cock not responsive to play. I began playing with myself instead and he again just stared at me without any emotion showing. Gave up a few minutes later, feeling stupid and the conversation was awkward. Kind of forced. I get uncomfortable if someone doesn’t return my attempts to keep things light hearted and playful, all was met with a half smile. No second pop since he didn’t get it up.
Eventually I remarked that it’s a little awkward and whether he wants to leave the meeting earlier. I refunded him for the time we didn’t spend and actually asked if there was anything I said or did and if so I didn’t mean it. He claimed nothing wrong and “he’s not in the mood”. Walked out, money settled and that was it.
Quite pissed off, especially when having had a no show as well on the same day, quite paranoid I’ve done something to turn him off. Have you ever had a situation like that? Did he later tell you what’s up? I’m getting quite paranoid I’ve done something that I’m not aware of... :FF :-\
Impeccable feedback means sweet FA! People leave positive feedback for fear of their own feedback being tarnished.
I had a freaky stalker with impeccable feedback and some of the pushiest, shittiest clients I’ve ever had have had impeccable feedback.
The most I do is one hour especially with a new client because the thought of being stuck in a room with someone who’s that awkward or whatever makes me really anxious due to experiences like the one you mentioned.
You can’t please everyone, it sounded like you tried your best. He was just a rude awkward prick by the sounds of it, I would of done the same as you. I know giving the remaining money back is shit but it’s worse putting up with them for the sake of the money.
If I get someone like that book me for an hour, I will try and put up with them for the half hour and then give them the remaining money back and explain to them why I would like to cut the booking short.
I would never refund money if they wanted to leave earlier than they had booked but if it’s me calling it off early then I always refund the difference to try and keep the situation as calm as possible.
If I have to ask someone to leave, it’s for a good reason and it’s their fault so in principle, you shouldn’t have to refund money because they should know how to behave like a respectable grown up but principles sometimes go out the window in this business so you def did the right thing in refunding the remaining money.
I know it’s easier said than done but try not to think any more of it. I try my absolute best to avoid bookings like that cause of how your left feeling after it but it’s inevitable sometimes.
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I noticed a few posts saying maybe he had cum guilt?
From what the OP said, she had a shitty weird awkward vibe from the start with him?
So my post was in response to that. I wouldn’t be giving anyone a refund if they decided after one cum they were done and started acting all weird in the hope of a refund.
I only refund horrid clients I want rid of.
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was it an AW client with feedback?
Yes plenty of feedbacks including some bird claiming how “fun” he is to be around and how he laughed st her jokes.
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Also, I actually suggested he cut this short and hence have the partial refund because I couldn’t stand any more minute in this situation. The initiative came from me.
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If a punter or client wants to spend his time watching TV that's up to him. I'm not an automatic TV turn on er, I find background TV annoying, distracting and rude. I do play music or am ok with no noise in the background.
I have had long bookings including overnights where the guy doesn't want much sex, spends much time on a tablet, phone, watching TV or reading. I've also just cuddled up and watched films.
Sometimes he just wants company or struggles with relationships, or is in a high pressure job.
I'm there for the time booked, and as I often say 'I cannot grumble'. I'd rather that sort of booking than ragged senseless or be with someone demanding and difficult. I'm making money and if he's happy no problem.
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Also, I actually suggested he cut this short and hence have the partial refund because I couldn’t stand any more minute in this situation. The initiative came from me.
Ah yes if your suggestion unless he's done something wrong, then I agree he deserves a refund.
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Anyway, happy he was gone and I didn’t want to spend time in complete awkward silence.
Just pissed off as i am on tour and I could’ve booked with someone who doesn’t have a social awareness of a tick.
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Anyway, happy he was gone and I didn’t want to spend time in complete awkward silence.
Just pissed off as i am on tour and I could’ve booked with someone who doesn’t have a social awareness of a tick.
So is it loss of income or is it that you'd prefer someone to get on it?
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For a long time I would try so hard to make conversation with the "gone cold after cumming" clients but eventually found it so awkward when they give one word answers so now if I am unlucky and get one of these and I know the sex has definitely finished, I do as they do, go silent and see if they initiate any talking. Some do and some don't. I don't care any more. They have had sex with someone they chose and who is happy and smiling and I have had my fee.
I did used to offer a back/shoulder massage to fill unused time but after being told no thanks I gave up on that one too. There is no television in my bedroom so that one is out.
One man I saw many times was cold to the point of rude after the session so I stopped seeing him altogether.
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One man I saw many times was cold to the point of rude after the session so I stopped seeing him altogether.
A form of "Cum Guilt"?
I often do wonder if they suddenly regretted over what they spent for i.e. sex when the "reason" returns, followed by ejaculation/cumming.
Or their "true" character (hidden prior to cumming) emerges, suddenly?
I agree that if things have no chance of "improvement", it would be best to let him go. . .
I have had snide comments before they left.
Their mood seems to make a sudden "shift".
Best not to take it personally (to the OP).
You handled it well.
I would have kept the money.
He was bed-blocking for that duration.
You could not have someone else in.
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If a punter or client wants to spend his time watching TV that's up to him. I'm not an automatic TV turn on er, I find background TV annoying, distracting and rude. I do play music or am ok with no noise in the background.
I have had long bookings including overnights where the guy doesn't want much sex, spends much time on a tablet, phone, watching TV or reading. I've also just cuddled up and watched films.
Sometimes he just wants company or struggles with relationships, or is in a high pressure job.
I'm there for the time booked, and as I often say 'I cannot grumble'. I'd rather that sort of booking than ragged senseless or be with someone demanding and difficult. I'm making money and if he's happy no problem.
I think from what the OP said, he didn’t seem very happy and she probably had his impeccable feedback in mind so thought he was unhappy with her.
I wouldn’t like to be ragged senseless either tbh (not sure any GFE escorts are really into that) but if I had to chose between that and an uncomfortable awkward situation, I would go for getting pumped senseless so I would of done the same as the OP because sometimes it’s unbearable being with someone like that.
My money is only worthwhile to me if I’m happy making it. When not having sex, I like to engage with the person I’m with.
If they’re completely disengaged and look miserable or awkward then I would rather be out of that situation.
But some people are stronger mentally than others and some people have different priorities and are very good at just thinking of the money whereas I find it really difficult to think of the money if someone if making me feel uncomfortable.
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So is it loss of income or is it that you'd prefer someone to get on it?
Nobody wants loss of income, we’re not here to lose income. We’re here to make money.
But she clearly felt that uncomfortable that she couldn’t stand another minute of it and was willing to lose the income.
And it should be a given that we want to be with someone we get on with but as I previously said, some people maybe have other priorities and are excellent at focusing solely on the money.
If a client is asked to leave and been given money back, there’s a reason for it.
We’re here to make money, it’s not in our best interests to turn their business away so when I do personally, there’s good reason for it.
It’s clear you’d deal with a situation like that differently and hats off to you but I guess that’s what makes us all different.
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Girl if I was you I would of been buzzing it happend that quick and would of just watched tv with him lmao , hes not just paying for sex hes paying for your time and if he wants to use that time watching tv I'll happily start munching away and watch love island with him haha ;D
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Brutal!! I would have not given him a refund mind you I've been in similar situations and I always make sure I'm fair LOL. Terrible though, I liked the response of if he just wants to watch TV then watch TV with him, I'll keep that one in mind for next time!!
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Rose ~
That kind of sucks bc he's got good FB on AW, yet it didn't represent itself in your session. I've run across this occasionally here, I can screen a guy all day long, everything will come back flawlessly; he's who he says he is, he lives where he says he does, works where he says he does blah blah, then shows up & is a complete douche nozzle.
My point here is just bc they screen well /slash/ have FB doesn't mean they're a nice person *sigh*. It used to. Sorry that happened☹️.
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So, would to be a better solution sitting there in complete total painful silence? He had zero intention to talk, to cuddle or watch tv with me. Anything that would help pass the time comfortably. Claimed he wants a second pop, so I grafted on and on only to see his cock being now completely unresponsive. I’ve tried many things before eventually suggesting to cut it shorter.
Glad that’s over. Ugh.
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So, would to be a better solution sitting there in complete total painful silence? He had zero intention to talk, to cuddle or watch tv with me. Anything that would help pass the time comfortably. Claimed he wants a second pop, so I grafted on and on only to see his cock being now completely unresponsive. I’ve tried many things before eventually suggesting to cut it shorter.
Glad that’s over. Ugh.
Nope, I hear ya. I know just the type of situation you describe and you did exactly what I would of done.
As I explained earlier in the thread, others just deal with things differently and have different priorities.
I would be retired by now if my sole priority was the money and sometimes I wish I could be like that but I’m not and I never have been, it makes me grossly unpopular 😆🙈
My number one priority is feeling comfortable with the person and the situation.
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Nobody wants loss of income, we’re not here to lose income. We’re here to make money.
But she clearly felt that uncomfortable that she couldn’t stand another minute of it and was willing to lose the income.
And it should be a given that we want to be with someone we get on with but as I previously said, some people maybe have other priorities and are excellent at focusing solely on the money.
If a client is asked to leave and been given money back, there’s a reason for it.
We’re here to make money, it’s not in our best interests to turn their business away so when I do personally, there’s good reason for it.
It’s clear you’d deal with a situation like that differently and hats off to you but I guess that’s what makes us all different.
Yes I find I can get on with a range of people, in my non-sex work life I'm trained to be comfortable with silences and be with people who can't or don't make eye contact.
I used to feel awkward now I try to understand it.
I also understand there are members here who like different types of booking, different types of client. Others here have influenced my thinking during booking types I used to find difficult I'm a lot happier as a result.
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So, would to be a better solution sitting there in complete total painful silence? He had zero intention to talk, to cuddle or watch tv with me. Anything that would help pass the time comfortably. Claimed he wants a second pop, so I grafted on and on only to see his cock being now completely unresponsive. I’ve tried many things before eventually suggesting to cut it shorter.
At £2+ per minute, I'd happily sit in silence although I wouldn't see anybody like that again. I wouldn't put a TV on so I'd just listen to my playlist until finish time :).
Glad that’s over. Ugh.
Exactly. I've had civvy jobs where I loathed the people I had to spend time with and I had to go home knowing I'd have to do it all again the next day. It's just a bad match and nobody can be all things to all punters - everybody here must have had some excruciating bookings over the years, but thankfully the good ones cancel out the bad. And it never hurts to be reminded that feedback is completely meaningless, so it served some useful purpose if nothing else :D.
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Girl if I was you I would of been buzzing it happend that quick and would of just watched tv with him lmao , hes not just paying for sex hes paying for your time and if he wants to use that time watching tv I'll happily start munching away and watch love island with him haha ;D
Watching Love Island is punishment enough! ;D